


Equilibrium

by phan_anon



Series: Equilibrium Verse [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Beta!Phil, Breeding, Childbirth, Discussion of Abortion, Divorce, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Verse, Omega!Dan, Past Relationship(s), Pregnant Sex, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-03-18 12:36:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 152,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13681818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phan_anon/pseuds/phan_anon
Summary: It's 2016, and Omega!Dan doesn't need an Alpha to be happy, thank you very much. He's quite content living with best friend, flat mate, business partner, co-author, ex-boyfriend, and occasional lover, Beta!Phil. Quite content, that is, until an unplanned pregnancy disturbs the comfortable equilibrium they've established over the years...





	1. Pink Plus Signs

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! Welcome to my brand new fic. I'll update tags with each new chapter. This one has some heavy stuff in it, so do mind the tags. I hope you all enjoy!!

The white stick shook in Dan’s hands as he picked it up and held it in front of his face.

His head was buzzing with so much terror that everything around him looked blurry and white. He had to blink several times to clear his vision, and then at last he saw the result: a pink plus sign.

His heart stopped.

Wait. Wait, maybe he was remembering the symbols wrong. He whipped around to the bathroom counter, scrabbling for the discarded box. He snatched it up in his free hand, and his eyes searched for the legend. Okay. Blue minus sign meant “No,” and pink plus sign meant… He gulped, glancing back at the bright pink symbol on the stick.

No. There was no way. There was absolutely no way.

Maybe it was wrong. He shook the box, hearing the second stick shaking around inside. Maybe this was just a false positive. He should do the second test, just to be sure.

He ripped the second stick open and went through the whole procedure again.

The waiting was the worst part — staring at the numbers on his cell phone clock as they slowly changed, waiting for the result to finally appear… At last, those agonizing fifteen minutes had passed. He took a deep breath, squeezed his eyes shut and then held the second stick up.

Slowly, he opened his eyes.

There it was, staring right back at him: a second pink plus sign.

Oh, fuck.

Fuckity fuck fuck fucking fuck. It couldn’t be right. He was on birth control and heat suppressants. And, anyway, he’d only had sex once…wait, twice in the last eight months. The odds were practically zero—

He needed to see a doctor. That would settle it. He remembered learning in his sex ed classes in high school that Omega males in particular needed to confirm pregnancies with a blood test because they were prone to false positives on pregnancy tests for a variety of reasons, such as… Oh, god, such as testicular cancer.

His heart started pounding faster in his chest. It probably wasn’t cancer, right? He could admit that finding out he was pregnant wouldn’t be anywhere near as awful as finding out that he had cancer. An unwanted pregnancy could be taken care of quickly and with a minimum of pain, after all.

He drew in a deep breath, calming himself down. Right. Being pregnant wouldn’t be the end of the world, much as he hoped to god that he wasn’t.

He picked up his cell phone, sat down on the toilet lid, and dialed his Omega Specialist’s office. He had to go through a menu of options and then some hold music, but finally a brisk voice spoke from the other end.

“Central London OmegaCare, how may I help you?”

He cleared his throat.

“Hello,” he rasped and then paused to clear his throat again. “Sorry. Hello, I um, would like to make an appointment. The next available one you have, please.”

“Let me take down your information first, Sir,” the person on the other end said. “Your name, please?”

“Howell,” he replied at once. “Daniel.”

“And you are the Omega patient?”

“Yes,” he said.

“All right. And what is the nature of your visit?”

His hands were suddenly shaking again. He glanced down at his other hand, which still held the two used pregnancy tests.

“I, um, well. I, um…had a positive pregnancy test.”

The person on the other end didn’t hesitate a moment, though Dan thought he detected a slight softening of their tone when they answered him next.

“So you would like to confirm whether or not you are pregnant?” they asked. 

“Yes,” he said, hearing that the tremors had crept into his voice now as well.

“All right,” they replied. “It looks like we have an opening at 9:00 AM this Friday.”

“That’s perfect,” he breathed. Thank Jesus or god or whoever that they weren’t as booked up as usual.

“I’ll schedule you for a 9:00 AM appointment on Friday, 2nd September, then. Please have your NHS card and identification with you.”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Good day.”

“You too.”

And then the person on the other end of the line was gone. Dan let out a long sigh and set his phone on the counter again. He was so glad he’d decided to wait until Phil was out to do this. Dan had bought the pregnancy tests last night, at a pharmacy two train stops away from their flat, but he’d waited until an hour ago, when Phil had gone out to lunch with his brother, to finally use them.

He felt sick rising in the back of his throat all of a sudden. Ugh. Not this again. A moment later, he was knelt in front of the toilet, retching his own lunch out into the porcelain bowl.

That had been happening for a couple of weeks now — the random bouts of nausea, especially in the morning when he first woke or when he smelled certain scents. For the first week, he’d tried to convince himself it was just a stomach flu, just something he’d picked up from someone at one of the Australia meet and greets. By the second week, he’d started suspecting it was something else, impossible as it had seemed.

It didn’t seem so impossible now.

But how?

Omegas were only supposed to ovulate during heat, so between the heat suppressants and birth control pills, there shouldn’t have been any way for him to have ovulated. Okay, so maybe he had accidentally skipped a pill and taken a couple at the wrong time, but even then, he’d only had sex one time.

Well, one time without a condom, that was. He swallowed, tasting the sick on the back of his tongue still. So maybe he and Phil had celebrated finally being home from their U.S. tour with a few too many drinks, and maybe, as occasionally happened when they were both drunk, the old feelings had stirred again, and they had ended up in bed together. And maybe he’d been hornier than normal because, while his suppressants kept him from going into a full heat, for a day once every three months, he would still get restless and worked up and hungry for…something. Anything, really. Any kind of contact with another person felt good during those times.

But it had still only been one time — the first time in months that he’d fucked anyone at all.

He had slept with someone else since then, of course. He sat back on his heels and reached up to flush the toilet, frowning to himself.

There’d been a cute, flirty Beta guy on Tinder just before they’d left on the Australia trip, and Dan had gotten bold and invited him over. But they’d used a condom. God, why hadn’t he and Phil used a condom? It hadn’t seemed like such a big decision at the time. They’d had sex without condoms loads of times back when they were dating — the first couple of years right after they’d first met — knowing that with the pills and suppressants, it was next to impossible for Dan to get pregnant.

He stared down at the two pink plus signs still clutched tight in his fist, proof of the infinite distance that separated “next to impossible” from “impossible.”

He stood up and walked over to the sink, setting the two positive pregnancy tests down beside it and then cleaning his mouth out with copious amounts of water. He would hide them in his room until the next garbage day and then volunteer to take the garbage out and slip them inside once he was out at the bins.

Phil would never have to know. No one would ever have to know.

He would go to the doctor, and if it turned out that he was pregnant, they would take care of it right then and there.

Maybe the doctor would tell him he was only a few weeks along and he would know it was random Tinder guy who had gotten him pregnant…Luis? Was that his name? If it turned out that he’d gotten pregnant from some Tinder hook-up — one that hadn’t really even been that good, if he was being honest — he’d have absolutely no qualms about terminating the pregnancy. He’d feel a bit ashamed of himself, that he’d been so careless, but that would be the worst of it.

And if, instead, the doctor told him he was closer to two months pregnant, and it turned out it was Phil’s ba—

No, he shouldn’t think that way. The hypothetical pregnancy wasn’t anyone’s baby yet. It was just a little blob of cells, nothing more.

Maybe once upon a time he would have considered keeping a pregnancy knowing that Phil was the other parent. Back when they’d first met, the two of them had tumbled right into love with one another, and he’d been convinced then that he and Phil were destined to be together forever.

As it turned out, he was pretty sure that they were destined to be together forever, just not the kind of together they used to be.

Even though they occasionally still got off together or even had sex, these days it was nothing more than a matter of convenience. They had busy lives that made it difficult to meet other people or maintain relationships with them. They’d had lots of sex back when they were dating, and they each still knew their way around the other’s body. Whenever one or both of them was going through a dry spell, it just made sense to help one another out.

But that was no basis for raising a child together, especially since he was almost certain Phil had dreams of settling down and raising a child with someone else someday. Dan had never been certain that he wanted children at all. It was one of the reasons they had decided that the two of them weren’t going to work out as a couple.

So, yeah, if he’d gotten pregnant back when he and Phil were dating, maybe he would have taken it as a sign that he’d been wrong about having a family and that he and Phil should give it a shot. But now, when any desire to have that sort of life with Phil was long past?

He looked up from the sink at his rosy-cheeked reflection in the mirror. He’d read that pregnancy did that to you — the hormones made you look prettier than usual. He gave himself a smile, a sad, tense sort of thing.

The doctor would sort him out on Friday, and then this whole thing would be behind him. And he would always, always use condoms from now on.

 

**

Everything about the timing of their first interactions had seemed serendipitous. There had been the fact that Dan had been a fan of Phil’s videos for literal years and suddenly, like a dream come true, his idol was dm-ing him about their shared interests.

There had also been the fact that Dan was just getting out of a three-year relationship, the end of which had left him lost and confused. Up until the very end of it, everyone thought that he and Ellen were on track to get married.

Ellen was the first Alpha he’d ever dated. She was his first for a lot of things, actually. First serious relationship, first time saying “I love you,” first time sharing his heat with someone, first time being knotted. She hadn’t been his first sex. He’d lost his virginity to a Beta girl not long after he’d started having his heats, and then he’d lost his other virginity to an Omega boy.

And then he’d met Ellen. A mutual friend had pulled Dan aside one day and told him there was an Alpha interested in him. They’d been set up on an after-school group outing together, and Dan had discovered that, unlike most Alphas, he found her scent pleasant. She was pretty, funny, outgoing, and when she put her arm around him, it had made him feel safe and protected.

His family and friends had all been so happy that he’d finally shown interest in an Alpha. He knew they’d started to despair of his tastes. And maybe a part of the reason he had felt drawn to Ellen was that he knew it was what everyone wanted from him — to find an Alpha to bond and settle down with.

Whatever his reasons, he’d ended up falling in love with her. About nine months into the relationship, they’d started using the “L” word, and it wasn’t too long after that that Ellen had brought up sharing one of his heats so that she could knot him. The idea had made him nervous, but all of his Omega friends always talked about how incredible it felt to be knotted, so he’d agreed without any argument.

It had taken some coordination and some lying to their parents. Dan had had to go off his suppressants for a few weeks to allow his full heat to come on, and then when they knew it was coming, they’d arranged a fake overnight trip with friends and gotten a hotel room together instead.

The sex had been incredible, more exciting and intense than anything he’d ever done before, and yet… The next morning, he’d felt strangely disappointed. Everyone had hyped it up so much, made it sound like this amazing, life-changing thing, but the day after he still felt exactly the same as he’d always been. Maybe it was just because they hadn’t bonded? He’d worn a shoulder guard so that she couldn’t accidentally bite his bonding gland because they’d both agreed they were nowhere near ready for something like that yet.

He convinced himself that was all the disappointment was before shoving the doubts into the furthest corners of his mind and leaving them there to rot.

He’d had to go back on his suppressants — their parents would get suspicious if they always went on trips around the time of his heat — but Ellen had talked constantly about doing it again. He could tell that for her, the experience had been just as life-changing as everyone said. It seemed to have made her fall more in love with him than ever. It was hard to hide from her and from himself the fact that his feelings toward her had undergone no similar shift.

Eventually, they’d done it again, this time actually going out of town with their friends for the weekend, but getting a hotel room separate from them. The second time ended up being no different from the first — for Dan, it was nothing more than an especially good night of sex. He felt none of the closeness, the sense of belonging to Ellen, the sense of being hers, her Omega, that all of his friends talked about.

The doubts had peeked their little heads out of the corners of his mind and waved to get his attention again, and this time he found it much harder to ignore them.

The third and final time Ellen had knotted him had been during her rut. It had easily been one of the worst nights of his life.

After sharing two of his heats, they’d both felt sure they knew how knotting worked, but neither of them had realized how much more he would need to be stretched to accommodate a knot when he wasn’t in heat. As her knot had begun to swell inside of him, he’d felt a searing pain tear through him and had screamed out.

To Ellen’s credit, she had stopped and pulled out at once, her knot deflating without reaching its full extent.

She’d checked and assured him there weren’t any visible injuries or sign of bleeding, and that at least had been good. The problem was that since she hadn’t fully knotted, Ellen’s rut hadn’t ended. Without knotting an Omega, her rut would go on for days longer. She was supposed to be on suppressants too, and anyway, there was no way she could just go home while still in rut. Not only would her parents probably murder her for doing something so foolhardy, there would be a very real danger of her going after some other Omega in her frenzy to knot someone.

They’d tried everything they could think of to coax her knot out. Dan had given her two of the best blow jobs he had known how to give, and then she’d tried just fucking his mouth. He’d tried using his hands, letting her fuck various parts of his body, like his thighs and his chest, but nothing seemed to work. She had come every time without producing a single knot.

Finally, in desperation, Dan had told her to just fuck him again. He was still sore from their previous attempt, but it seemed like it would be the only way. He’d stretched himself carefully, hiding from the restless Alpha his painful wince every time he spread his fingers further apart.

When he’d finally been sure he was stretched enough now, he’d lain on his stomach and spread his legs for her because he knew that he could take a cock more easily from behind. She’d been gentle, at least, which couldn’t have been easy, considering how far advanced her rut had been by then. He couldn’t blame her for what had happened or for anything that happened after, not really.

When she’d finally knotted him, it had hurt. A lot. He’d bitten down on the pillow and screamed, but she hadn’t realized they were screams of pain and not ones of pleasure. She’d been too far gone by that point. The pain had lasted a long time, while her knot stayed locked inside of him, but what he’d realized after the first few blinding seconds was that it wasn’t unbearable. He’d breathed deeply, in and out, and let his mind drift away to somewhere else, to his own bedroom, lying on his bed munching crisps and watching his favorite YouTube videos.

Eventually, it had been over. Her knot had gone down, and she’d pulled out, and the pain had subsided, leaving only a dull ache in its wake.

He’d cried, heavily, while she held him in her arms and asked over and over again what was wrong. He hadn’t had the heart to tell her.

It had basically been over between them after that. He’d waited an entire week to break up with her, but by then she seemed to have figured things out. She had been clearly upset, had been full of apologies and promises never to hurt him again, but when he’d said it was over, she hadn’t really fought him. What had happened between them that night had broken their relationship for good.

But Phil had been there, dm-ing him, distracting him from all of that — a ray of gentle sunshine in the midst of the black storm inside Dan’s heart.

It had taken a few months for Dan to put himself back together enough again to fully fall in love with Phil the way Phil had already fallen for him, but once he had, he had fallen hard and fast for the handsome Beta he had started Skyping with almost every night.

The first time they’d met in person was one of the happiest memories Dan had. It had been a perfect day in every conceivable way, and then they’d gone back home to Phil’s house and because they were young and the tension had been building between them for so many months already, they’d ended up in bed almost at once.

Dan had been nervous before coming up to meet Phil, knowing that sex was likely to happen. It was the first time he was having sex again since that horrid night with Ellen. But Phil was different. Phil was a Beta, which meant he would never have to worry about knots or ruts or anything like that again. And so when the moment finally came and he found himself naked on the Beta’s bed, there hadn’t been any fear of pain or worry about how Phil would feel inside of him — only joy and a flood of warmth in his chest as the Beta pushed inside of his body for the first time.

Sex between them had been healing and it had been glorious. Everything that everyone had always told him he was supposed to feel with an Alpha, he had felt instead with Phil — that feeling of utter fullness, of completeness, of owning and being owned — all of that and more he felt whenever he and Phil were in bed together.

So even later, when their different views of their future and other things had led them to end their romantic relationship, Dan had decided he wouldn’t go back to Alphas ever again — no matter what his parents said.

 

**

 

It was Thursday evening, late, and Dan was holed up in his bedroom editing their most recent gaming video when he heard Phil’s keys in the lock downstairs. He noted his roommate’s return and then turned back to his editing.

A few minutes later, another sound intruded into his dark editing cave — the clink of glasses and the distinct sound of a heavy glass bottle being set on the countertop.

He frowned, pausing the clip he’d been watching back and pulling off his headphones.

“Phil?”

“In the kitchen!” came the Beta’s response.

So Dan pushed back from his desk and made his way to the kitchen where he found Phil pouring vodka into one of two glasses. There was also a bottle of orange juice sitting on the counter at his elbow, so Dan guessed he was making screwdrivers for them.

He raised an eyebrow.

“Date didn’t go as well as you’d hoped?” he asked.

Phil half-turned to shoot him a rueful grin.

“He turned out to be way more Alpha in person than he was online,” he muttered, tilting up the vodka bottle and setting it down behind him. “He wouldn’t stop hanging onto me the entire night, like he thought I might run away if he let me go for even a second.”

Dan shook his head. Yeah, that sounded like an Alpha. Contrary to his vow to himself all those years ago, he had actually tried it with Alphas a couple more times, in large part because his Omega mum kept warning him that he’d never know true happiness until he had bonded. The Alphas he’d dated had been similarly possessive, but they hadn’t been bad people. Things just hadn’t worked out because as soon as they’d started hinting they’d like to try knotting him, he would get a queasy feeling in his stomach and end things as fast as he could.

“Well, I’m sorry you didn’t manage to get any tonight,” Dan quipped, walking over and pointing a finger at the second glass. “Though judging by the fact that you’re making me a drink…”

“Hey, I just thought you might like one as well,” Phil protested. “Alcohol or no alcohol, if I really wanted to get off with you tonight, I’d just ask.”

Dan shrugged and nodded a bit. That was true enough. He shifted from one foot to the other, trying his best not to think about the last time they’d hooked up…and the unintended consequences that he would be seeing the doctor about in the morning. It could be random Tinder guy’s, he had to remind himself.

Phil was picking up the vodka again, ready to pour it into Dan’s glass. When Dan realized what he was doing, he darted out a hand to stop him.

“Oh, uh, no alcohol for me right now, thanks,” he said. 

“Stomach still feeling off?” Phil asked with a sympathetic look.

Dan fervently hoped that his face hadn’t turned as red as it felt.

“Oh,” he replied in a quiet voice. “Yeah. So, um, I’ll just have orange juice.”

Phil nodded, and thankfully he’d been distracted enough setting down the vodka and picking up the orange juice that he hadn’t noticed Dan’s blush. As he finished pouring Dan’s glass of juice, he looked up at him with a grin.

“Look, the bottle says it’s fortified with calcium,” he said. “We’re both gonna grow some good, strong bones.”

Dan picked up the full glass, nodding in mute agreement. He didn’t want to think too hard right at the moment about anything growing stronger, bigger, healthier…more real.

They watched Food Wars together in the living room while Phil got tipsy and Dan sipped slowly at his orange juice. After Phil’s second screwdriver, he, unsurprisingly, slid a hand over onto Dan’s thigh and leaned in to kiss his neck. On any other night, Dan might have laughed at his friend’s predictability. He wasn’t laughing this time, though.

Instead, he leaned into the Beta’s touch, letting the soft caresses from his hand and lips draw out his own desire. He wanted this. He always wanted it, any time either of them initiated sex with the other. Even if the last time hadn’t been the wisest choice, that didn’t mean there was anything wrong about it this time.

He let the pleasure turn his brain off, as only sex with Phil seemed really able to do, let himself be coaxed away out of the lounge and into his bedroom. When he pulled out a condom and insisted Phil use it, the Beta blinked at him in surprise for a moment, but only a moment. Dan figured if, by some miracle, he wasn’t pregnant after all, it was best to keep it that way.

Afterward, Phil rolled off and stumbled back to his own bed, and Dan lay there and stared at the ceiling as all of his thoughts came rushing back into his head.

He had a hard time falling asleep that night. His mind kept going back to that moment in the kitchen when his hand had darted out, almost of its own volition, to keep Phil from pouring him a drink. What had made him do that? Sure, if he had been planning to keep the pregnancy, he would want to be careful about things like alcohol — and things like getting the right nutrition to keep himself and the baby healthy — but he wasn’t. So why…?

Maybe it was just leftover regret from the last time he’d gotten drunk with Phil and made some poor decisions. Yeah, that was probably all it was.

Still, by the time he got up in the morning to head to his 9:00 AM appointment, he’d only managed to get four hours of sleep.

 

**

“Hello, Dan.”

Dr. Paul’s chipper voice drew him out of his stupor. He’d been ushered into an examination room about half an hour ago, where a nurse had taken his vitals and drawn blood for the test. And then he’d waited, stewing in his own thoughts, for the doctor to come and pronounce the verdict.

She stepped into the room, a small woman with short, dark hair and sharp eyes. She was an Omega, something which was still rare enough in the medical field to cause surprise. For Dan, that was one of the reasons why he’d chosen her to be his primary Omega Specialist. He liked the idea of being cared for by someone else who understood what being an Omega was like. He’d been coming to this clinic since he and Phil had first moved to London, four years ago now.

“Mind if I sit down?” she asked as she pulled the door shut behind her.

He himself was still perched on the edge of the examination table. He shook his head, so she smiled and pulled up a stool.

“Now, I’ll get right to it,” she told him in her clipped, RP accent. “Your bloodwork confirms that you are pregnant.”

He sucked in a sharp breath. Fuck. Well, that was it then. Fuck.

He nodded, his throat too constricted to speak.

She favored him with a gentle smile.

“Would you like me to go over your options with you?”

He gazed into her eyes, thankful for her professional calm. He gave her another nod.

“Yes, please,” he whispered.

“Judging by the date you listed as your last heat-like symptoms, you are now in the eighth week of your pregnancy. If you have decided not to continue the pregnancy, I can prescribe you an abortifacient pill. You will take one pill here and then a second one 24 hours later, after you return home. You will experience bleeding and cramping, which may seem scary or unfamiliar to you, but it is similar to what Beta females experience during menstruation. Someone here at the clinic will be available for you to call and speak to if you have any questions or concerns during that time.”

Dan concentrated on keeping his breathing slow and even. That didn’t sound so bad. 

“Is that the, um, the best way to do it?” he asked.

She held out a hand in a temporizing gesture.

“It’s what I generally recommend this early in the pregnancy. Many patients like the fact that it is non-invasive and that they can go through the process mostly in the comfort of their own home. If you prefer, we can consider performing a procedure here in the office.”

He nodded slowly, considering.

“I guess the pill would be easier for me,” he said at last.

She nodded and offered him another gentle smile.

“Shall I write you a prescription for it, then?”

He drew in a deep breath and let it out again. He opened his mouth, prepared to say “Yes,” but the word seemed to stick in his throat.

For a single, horrible moment, he stared at her open-mouthed, trying to force the word out. But it didn’t come.

He closed his mouth again, his mind for some reason dragging out a memory of last night, of Phil pushing him over onto the bed, climbing on top of him, smothering him with kisses. A shaky sigh poured from his nose. Eight weeks, she’d told him. Two months. He’d been pregnant for two months now, and that meant the other parent wasn’t some random guy whose face he couldn’t even remember, but Phil. His Phil. Best friend, roommate, business partner, former boyfriend, occasional lover… This decision was Dan’s to make and his alone, but if he decided to make it without Phil…something about that wouldn’t seem right.

What if he ended the pregnancy and spent the rest of his life looking at Phil and wondering? Wondering what Phil would have wanted, if Dan had told him he’d gotten him pregnant…

He shook his head.

“I don’t know yet,” he said.

Dr. Paul was watching him with a neutral expression.

“That’s fine, Dan,” she assured him. “Now that you know for sure, you can take some time to consider your decision. However, if there is any chance that you will keep this pregnancy, then I’d like to start caring for it now.”

“What would that involve?” Dan asked, feeling that the calm thread of her words was the only thing holding him together at the moment.

“First of all, I’d like to order a sonogram to check the status of the pregnancy. I’ll also order some more tests on the blood and urine samples you provided, and I’ll give you some instructions for caring for yourself, including recommended dietary restrictions, prenatal vitamins, and a few other changes in your daily activities.”

He nodded. So, basically, she would want him to start acting like any expectant Omega would. His mind flashed to last year when a close childhood friend had announced her pregnancy on Facebook, complete with a picture of her holding up a grainy sonogram. A wave of panic began to rise within him. If Dr. Paul took a sonogram, he was going to have to actually see it. He would see the little blob inside him right now. What if it already looked like a baby, with little arms and legs and eyes—

“Will I have to look at the sonogram?” he blurted out.

“No,” she shook her head. “It is only for us to observe whether there are any abnormalities.”

“Okay,” he said.

She seemed to hesitate for a moment.

“Would you like me to schedule it for another day? I can get you an appointment, say, next Wednesday? You can come in for the ultrasound then, or I can prescribe you the pills instead if you decide not to continue the pregnancy.”

Dan felt some of the tension from his shoulders ease. Thank god for Dr. Paul.

“I think that would be good,” he said, trying to communicate with his eyes just how grateful he was to her for understanding his indecision. “Thank you,” he added.

“You’re welcome,” she replied, rising from her chair. “Now, I’ll go over my recommendations for your food and activity level, but if you have any more questions after this, you are always welcome to call in here, okay?”

“Yes, thank you,” he said again.

He left the clinic a short time later with a list of “Pregnancy Do’s and Don’t’s” (He strongly objected to the extra apostrophe) and a sample size bottle of prenatal vitamins. Fortunately, the nurses at the reception had slipped these items into an opaque white paper bag for him, so he should be able to sneak up to his room and hide them with minimal risk of Phil accidentally seeing them.

Thinking of Phil was a mistake, though. He frowned down at the scuffed yellow markings at the edge of the tube platform. He was going to have to tell him. That’s what he’d decided had been holding him back. It felt wrong pretending like this was a decision that Phil had absolutely no stake in. Even if Phil had no right to make the ultimate decision for him, Dan felt like he owed him a say in it at least.

The train pulled up then, and the doors slid open, spilling out a few dozen people. Dan piled on with the others who had been waiting on the platform, pausing near the doors to let an elderly Beta hobble past and settle themselves in the priority seating area. As Dan stepped up to take hold of the rail, his eyes caught on the sign above the seats: a person with a cane, a person with a cast, a person with a big, round belly.

In a few months’ time, that could be him, waddling around London with a giant stomach sticking out in front, glaring down the rude, able-bodied people who didn’t get up from the priority seats to let him rest his swollen ankles. It was a sobering thought.

Phil was in the lounge when he got home, looking very much as though he had just stumbled out of bed. His hair was all mussed, there was stubble on his face, and he was wearing his glasses.

He glanced up, bleary-eyed, from the mug of coffee he was hunched over when Dan peeked his head in.

“Where’d you go so early?” he mumbled. He was always less-than-functional for the first hour or so after he woke up.

“Doctor’s appointment,” Dan said, preparing to duck out again.

“Oh,” Phil nodded. “About your stomach thing?”

Dan bit his lip.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

“Anything serious?” Phil asked, trying hard to focus on him with his still-sleepy eyes.

Dan smiled and shook his head.

“Nothing to worry about,” he lied and then backed away before Phil could ask any further questions.

He was going to tell him. He was. Definitely, before Wednesday.


	2. Counterweight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something about Dan's behavior is off, if only Phil could put his finger on it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter on Wednesday! :)

 

Phil stretched lazily across his bed. Nnnnnggghhh. Why did people invent getting out of bed? That was a terrible invention. Everyone should just stay in bed all of the time.

 

Imagine a world like that! Maybe beds could be motorized, like scooters, and you could just ride your bed to the grocery store or work or the movie theater. Ohhh, what if you could watch movies in a cinema _from bed_? Phil was pretty sure that would be his ideal universe.

 

His musings had begun to lull him back into sleep on this sunny Saturday morning when he was jerked back awake by the sound of Dan’s voice next door.

 

“Yes, Mum, I know,” he was saying in a slightly raised voice.

 

Phil rolled his eyes. He could just guess what Alpha Howell was telling her son right now, probably for the billionth time: “We just don’t want to see you end up alone, love!” And then, even though he couldn’t hear Dan’s side of the conversation anymore, he guessed she would be adding something about the nice, young Alpha a friend of a friend had recently introduced her to and how she’d love to have them over for dinner so they could meet Dan. Seemingly on cue, he heard Dan huff out, “No, Mum. I’m _fine_.”

 

Phil couldn’t help grinning. Being an Omega must be awful, or so he had concluded from all his years living with Dan. Before Dan, he hadn’t thought too deeply about it. He was a Beta and so were both of his parents and his older brother. He’d had Alpha and Omega friends at school and even dated a few Alphas in his time, so it wasn’t like he was completely foreign to the differences. Getting to know Dan, though, had seriously opened his eyes.

 

Dan was the first Omega he’d ever dated and the first he’d ever gotten to know on such an intimate level. Most of the Omegas he’d known at school had been staked out by an Alpha almost as soon as they’d come of age, and in his experience, it was best to stay away from an Omega with an Alpha. Alphas had a way of thinking that Beta males were more likely to try to seduce their Omegas away from them than other Alphas. It had something to do with pheromones and what Phil could only think of as “marking their territory.” Alphas knew that Betas couldn’t be scared off by their scent on an Omega — namely because most Betas couldn’t even smell it.

 

It wasn’t like Phil had really been interested in most of the Omegas he’d known before Dan anyway. He tended to go for tall, broad-shouldered men, a description that didn’t fit the vast majority of Omegas.

 

It had fit Dan, though.

 

Phil had been shocked when they’d first met in person and Dan had confessed to him that he was an Omega. Up until then, it hadn’t really come up in their conversations over DMs or Skype, and Dan’s foul-mouthed, sarcastic way of speaking hadn’t particularly struck him as Omega-like. He’d assumed he was a Beta, like Phil, if he’d thought of it at all.

 

He could admit it had made him nervous when he’d first found out. He was already head-over-heels in love with Dan by then, and he’d spent a lot of time daydreaming about what sex with him would be like when they finally got to that point. 

 

They’d made it all the way to Phil’s bedroom, hands grasping at each other’s body, lips hungrily feeding from one another, before Dan had suddenly pulled back with a stricken look in his eye.

 

“There’s something I have to tell you,” he’d said, and Phil had stared at him, imagining all kinds of scenarios (mostly horrific and improbable ones). And then he’d told him, “I’m an Omega.”

 

Phil had just blinked at him in shock while he’d rushed on to apologize for not telling him earlier, explaining that he’d hoped it would just come up naturally in conversation. If Phil hadn’t already been so in love, if he hadn’t already wanted the boy so badly, he might have had trouble having sex with him that night. It was just so intimidating, worrying that Dan must be comparing him to the Alphas he’d been with. What if Dan didn’t think his dick was big enough? What if he realized he just couldn’t go without a knot? What about his heats? There was no way Phil could satisfy an Omega in heat.

 

But he’d pushed all of those fears aside and made love to Dan anyway that night and on many a night afterward.

 

Eventually, he’d given voice to those thoughts, told Dan what he worried about when they were in bed together. And that’s when Dan had told him about the Alpha he’d been with before. Phil had known Dan had been dating a girl named Ellen when they first started talking and that they’d broken up shortly afterward. It had been so early in their friendship that he hadn’t felt it his place to pry too deeply into it. In a halting voice obscured by tears, Dan had finally told him about the last time he and his ex-girlfriend had had sex and how it had led to the end of their relationship.

 

“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” Phil had whispered, hugging the boy he loved more than anything in the world closer to his chest.

 

“Yeah,” the Omega had sniffled. “I am too. I’m sorry for me and for her. It’s not like she was trying to hurt me, you know? We were just…stupid. Both of us.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why we thought it was so important to hide it from our parents. Like, they had to know we were having sex anyway. It wouldn’t have been that big of a deal. It couldn’t have been worse than what did happen.”

 

Phil had kissed his hair and his forehead and rocked him in his arms and told him he shouldn’t blame himself, that it wasn’t his fault. And never again had he wasted his time worrying that he wasn’t good enough for Dan just because he was a Beta.

 

He sighed and flopped over onto his back on his bed. If only Dan’s mothers had agreed. No, they hadn’t broken up just because Dan’s parents hadn’t approved of their relationship, but the strain it had put on both of them certainly hadn’t helped. 

 

That was all in the past anyway. It had been years since they had been in love. They’d both moved on, had relationships with other people, settled into the comfortable groove of their friendship with occasional benefits. 

 

And thanks to that friendship, they were both happier than they’d ever been. Sometimes, when he sat back and really considered it all, everything they’d built together, the hundreds of videos, the radio shows, the meet-ups, their two books, their entire stage show and tour — it blew him away that all of that had come out of one simple decision to contact a persistent fan.

 

He still loved Dan more than anything in the world. Dan would always fit into his life somewhere, even someday when they both eventually fell in love with other people. Until then, of course, they could keep fitting into each other like they had last night whenever the mood struck them.

 

He chuckled a little and sat up finally. Sex with Dan was always amazing, but last night the Omega had seemed especially into it. He’d wanted Phil to top, though Phil had originally propositioned the reverse. But Dan had told him he wanted to be pushed face down and fucked into the bed roughly, and Phil had quite cheerfully obliged. It had surprised him a little, though. Dan didn’t usually get that worked up unless it was his heat, and that wasn’t due for another month or so.

 

“I love you too, Mum,” he heard Dan saying from somewhere nearby. He must have just stepped out into the corridor from his bedroom. “All right. Talk to you later. Bye.”

 

A few moments later, he heard the Omega’s footsteps shuffling off down the corridor, probably to the kitchen. Phil’s stomach gave a growl, and since he didn’t have a motorized bed to whisk him off to his breakfast yet, he made do with getting out of bed and following in his roommate’s footsteps.

 

When Phil pushed open the glass door into the kitchen, he found Dan stood at the counter with a big pill in one hand and a glass of water in the other. He was half turned away from Phil and didn’t seem to have heard him enter. As Phil watched, he put the pill in his mouth and swallowed it down. Phil could just make out the label of a bottle sitting on the counter. “Vitamins,” it read.

 

When had Dan started taking vitamins? Maybe it had something to do with whatever sickness he’d seen the doctor about yesterday. 

 

Phil frowned. Some idea was nudging him from the back of his brain. It felt like something important, something he had missed. He cast his thoughts back over the past few days. There was something about Dan’s behavior that his brain was trying to put together—

 

“Oh, you’re up,” Dan’s voice cut across his thoughts, and the idea wilted on the vine.

 

“Yep,” he said, just before a huge yawn cracked his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut. “Phew. I need coffee,” he grumbled as he opened his eyes again, just in time to see Dan snatching the vitamin bottle off the counter and stuffing it into the pocket of his sweatpants.

 

“Oh, right! Coffee,” Dan exclaimed, whipping around and heading toward the coffee pot. Hm. That was odd. Dan almost always put on the coffee first thing when he walked into the kitchen. He must’ve just been distracted by his conversation with his mum.

 

Phil shrugged and headed over to pull a bowl and the Shreddies out of the cupboard. He rooted around in the fridge until he found his carton of almond milk, and in no time he had a fresh, sugary bowl of goodness ready for his breakfast.

 

“Want some Shreddies? We’ve actually got plenty for once,” he said, shaking the box enticingly toward his roommate.

 

Dan let out a laugh that seemed a little forced.

 

“Thanks, but I’m actually trying to eat healthier,” he replied, waving a hand at a tub of Greek yogurt and some cartons of fresh berries sitting next to his bowl.

 

“Oh,” Phil said. “That looks pretty good, actually.”

 

“Yep,” Dan shot him a grin, “full of protein too.”

 

Phil snorted a little and then reached for a mug so he could pour himself a cup from the now full coffee pot.

 

“Maybe I should start eating healthier too,” he said once his mug was full. He turned back around just in time to catch a strange expression fleeing across Dan’s features, something halfway between a wince and a smile. It was gone so fast, though, that Phil hardly had time to decide which it really was.

 

“You’re going to be thirty next year,” Dan pointed out, glancing over at him as he sprinkled blueberries over his yogurt. “I bet your body’s going to start falling apart any day now.”

 

“Hey!” Phil objected, reaching out and lightly kicking Dan in the shin. His hands were full of cereal and coffee, or else he would have smacked him on the arm instead. “You’re not that much younger than me. That means you’ve only got a few more years until you start falling apart too.”

 

Dan’s eyes grew wide and startled at that, which wasn’t the reaction Phil had been expecting at all. It brought the frown back to Phil’s forehead. Something about Dan’s behavior lately was weird, ever since they’d gotten back from Hong Kong a few days ago. He just couldn’t put his finger on it.

 

“Yeah, I guess I am getting older too,” Dan mused, turning away to get a mug for himself so that Phil couldn’t see his face anymore. “We’ll all be dead before long.”

 

Most days, Phil would have just rolled his eyes at Dan’s usual depressing pronouncement, but today the Omega sounded like he actually meant it. His frown deepened. He was on the verge of saying something when he noticed that, rather than pouring himself a cup of coffee like Phil had, Dan had gone to the fridge and pulled out the orange juice again. Huh. Coffee must not be allowed on whatever this new diet of his was.

 

Phil shrugged and then made his way out into the lounge, and Dan followed shortly behind. They settled on the sofa without any further conversation, and Phil picked up the remote to turn on the next episode of _Avatar_.

 

After breakfast, Phil took his shower and then headed into Dan’s room to do some editing on a recent gaming video they’d filmed. Dan had started the editing on it, but Phil needed to add some finishing touches before they posted it. The computer in Dan’s room was the one they used for editing most often, though sometimes Phil would trek up to the gaming room to use that one. When he was lazy, though, Dan didn’t care if Phil slipped into his room instead.

 

He’d been sat there working for a couple of hours when the sound of Dan’s feet on the carpeted floor stirred him from his editing trance.

 

He glanced up with a grin, which Dan returned. Then he turned back to the computer, assuming Dan had come in to get something from his room.

 

A moment later, he heard the sound of Dan clearing his throat.

 

“Phil,” he heard his roommate say from directly behind him. He jumped.

 

“Oh, crap,” he muttered, yanking off his headphones and turning to look at Dan again. “You scared me.”

 

Dan rolled his eyes.

 

“You saw me come in, you dork.”

 

“Yeah, but I didn’t know you were here for me,” Phil protested. “What do you need anyway?”

 

The change in Dan’s expression was so sudden it took Phil’s breath away. His amused smile disappeared and was replaced by an almost panicked expression.

 

“Hey,” Phil said, standing from the chair and taking a step closer to the wide-eyed Omega. “Is something wrong?”

 

Dan seemed to struggle to respond to that. He opened his mouth, then closed it. Bit his lip. Sucked in a deep breath.

 

“Yes,” he said at last.

 

An eerie prickle passed over Phil’s skin, a sensation almost of premonition, like he knew, somewhere in the back of his mind what all of Dan’s strange behavior added up to. If only he could force the idea out into the open.

 

“What is it?” he asked, reaching back and turning the chair around so that it faced the foot of Dan’s bed. “Why don’t we sit down,” he suggested as Dan seemed to struggle with the response to that question as well.

 

The Omega nodded and then set himself down on the very edge of the bed. He moved as though he were afraid of breaking something. The bed? Himself? Phil wanted to frown again, but he resisted the urge. He didn't want to make Dan even more upset than he already seemed to be.

 

After a minute of watching Dan stare down at his restless hands, Phil decided it was going to be up to him to move things forward.

 

“Is this about you going to the doctor yesterday?” he asked. “Is it something serious after all?” His heart began to pound in his chest. What if Dan had lied to him yesterday? What if he wasn’t just sick but truly ill? What if Dan really _were_ dying? Oh god.

 

“Yes,” Dan replied, and another chill passed through the Beta’s body. Oh god, this was really happening.

 

He leaned forward and took hold of one of Dan’s hands, squeezing it hard.

 

“Just tell me,” he said, his own voice hurting his throat, which had suddenly grown tight.

 

Dan was still staring down at his lap, eyes squeezed shut now. It seemed like whatever he was trying to say just wasn’t going to come out. Suddenly, he yanked his hand from Phil’s andplunged it into his pocket. Then he pulled something out and shoved it under Phil’s nose.

 

Phil stared down at the object. It was a long, white plastic stick with a blue cap on one end. It looked like a highlighter or marker or something. He frowned at it in confusion.

 

“Um, what is it?” he asked after a moment.

 

He heard a sigh escape Dan’s nose.

 

“Do you see the pink plus sign on the side?” the Omega said at last. “Do you know what that means?”

 

Phil frowned even harder down at the object. There was a little window sort of thing on the side, and underneath it was a white strip of paper with a pink plus sign on it. It was on the tip of Phil’s tongue to say that no, he didn’t know what that meant when suddenly everything coalesced inside his mind: Dan throwing up nearly every morning for the past two weeks, Dan refusing alcohol and coffee, Dan suddenly taking vitamins and saying he wanted to eat healthier…and Dan shoving a little white stick with a plus sign on the side of it under his nose.

 

All at once, Phil’s blood was pounding in his ears and his vision was going blurry. He felt like he’d forgotten how to breathe.

 

“You’re…pregnant?” he asked, his voice coming out as a sort of squeak. His eyes darted up to the Omega’s rosy-cheeked face. He had pulled both of his lips in between his teeth and was staring at Phil with wide, dark eyes.

 

He nodded.

 

“Eight weeks,” he murmured, and Phil could hear the tears in his voice. Dan lowered his arm then, setting the pregnancy test down on the duvet beside him. “The doctor confirmed it yesterday.”

 

Of course. Of course Dan was pregnant. Thinking back over everything, Phil felt stupid for not having put it all together before, except…Dan was on birth control. He had been for the entire time Phil had known him, not to mention his heat suppressants kept him from going into heat, which was the only time Omegas were supposed to be fertile. So how in the world…?

 

And then another thought struck Phil: Dan was telling him this when he’d only found out for sure yesterday. That must mean Phil was one of the first people to know. Dan had talked to his Alpha Mum this morning, so maybe he’d already told her? He discarded that thought at once. Dan’s Alpha Mum was insanely protective of her precious Omega boy. There would have been an actual screaming fight over the phone this morning if Dan had told her he was pregnant without a wedding or a bond or anything.

 

So, Phil was probably the first to know, beyond Dan and his doctor. Why?

 

_Eight weeks…_ Today was the 3rd of September. Phil counted back inside his head. Eight weeks ago would have been some time in early July, maybe the first week of July, right after they’d gotten back home from their American tour. His body started trembling. The first week of July had been when Dan had had his last mini-heat, and other than this past Thursday, it had been the last time the two of them had had sex.

 

Phil felt his own eyes growing wider.

 

“Is it…mine?” he managed to breathe out.

 

He noticed that there were tears pooling at the corners of Dan’s eyes. One of them spilled over now. The Omega nodded again.

 

Dan was pregnant…with Phil’s baby.

 

But, wait. How could he be sure? He knew Dan had sex with other people quite often. In fact, just a few weeks ago, Phil had discreetly hung out in the lounge while Dan took some Beta guy back to his room. Maybe there had been someone else, someone Phil didn’t know about…

 

He shook his head. No. He knew that couldn’t be true. Because two months ago, they’d both been so exhausted from tour that neither of them had stirred from the flat for nearly a fortnight. If Dan had invited someone else over during his mini-heat, Phil would have been certain to notice.

 

So that meant…when they’d gotten drunk on homemade cocktails and toasted one another and their successful tour, and Dan had pressed his body up against Phil’s and then led him away to his bedroom… On that very night, he had gotten his best friend pregnant.

 

The next question popped out before he’d even paused to consider it.

 

“What are we going to do?”

 

The tears really started rolling down Dan’s cheeks then, and a moment later Phil heard a choking sob claw its way out of the Omega’s throat. He was on his feet at once, moving over to sit beside Dan on the bed and put an arm around his shoulders. The Omega flung himself onto Phil’s shoulder and buried his face there while more sobs wracked his body.

 

The gears of Phil’s mind were spinning so fast he could almost smell the smoke rising from his brain. Dan was eating different and taking vitamins and not drinking alcohol or caffeine. He’d gone to the doctor yesterday, which meant he could have had a procedure done right then and there to terminate the pregnancy. And yet he hadn’t. Instead, he’d chosen to tell Phil.

 

Why? Did that mean he was planning to keep the baby? Was he telling Phil about it because…because Phil was going to be a father?

 

“I’m sorry,” he heard Dan wheeze from the vicinity of his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to, you know, get so worked up.”

 

“It’s okay,” Phil replied, squeezing his shoulders. “You have every right to be worked up right now.”

 

“It’s just,” Dan continued, “when you said ‘what are _we_ going to do’ I was just so— Like, for the past week or so after I first realized I could be pregnant, I’ve been trying to figure out what to do, and I felt so scared.” He paused, reaching up a hand to wipe at his wet cheeks. “Thank you,” he added.

 

Phil wasn’t quite sure he understood why Dan was thanking him, but he murmured a soft “Of course” anyway.

 

“But,” Dan whispered, “I, um, I don’t know what to do. I thought at first that it would be best just to end it. You wouldn’t have to know about it, and we could just go on with our lives, but—“ He shook his head a little against Phil’s shoulder. “I don’t think I could have just gone on with my life without knowing what you would have wanted. I mean… What do _you_ want to do?”

 

Phil’s hand had been rubbing soothingly up and down Dan’s shoulder, but at the question, it froze. His whole body froze. Dan was letting _him_ decide? Oh god, how could he make a decision like that for him, for both of them, really? And for the baby, too, if they decided to have it…

 

For the first time since Dan had dropped the bombshell on him, Phil really began to consider what keeping the pregnancy would mean. They would have a baby. Together. They would be parents who shared a child. Here, in their flat, they would be raising a baby. A tiny human being who depended on them for every single thing. A tiny human being who would eventually grow up to be a child and then a teenager and then an adult human being.

 

What would that mean for their careers? Would they have to put all of that on hold? What about the fans? Would they have to tell them? Of course, they would have to tell them, he realized in the next breath. It would be hard for them to miss Dan’s huge, pregnant belly. Oh god, Dan was going to get a huge, pregnant belly, and Phil would probably have to rub lotion or coconut oil or whatever it was on it for him. He would get cranky and have food cravings and complain about the heat… He would have to give birth, and Phil would have to be there for all of that, supporting him, helping him. 

 

Of course he would be, regardless of whether it was his child or not. Dan was his best friend, the person who was next to him in his life. He was planning to be beside him for everything, yet— This was a completely different level of commitment.

 

He honestly couldn’t say whether he thought their friendship could survive something this huge, no matter what they decided to do.

 

Whether Dan kept the pregnancy or not, things had been permanently altered between them. He could see that now. Never again could they just casually hook up. They might never even have sex again, which would be okay. It wasn’t as though they _had_ to have sex with one another to feel close.

 

And anyway, that wouldn’t be nearly as monumental a change as having a baby together.

 

“I thought you didn’t want children, though,” Phil said all of a sudden.

 

He could still remember that conversation so distinctly, back in early 2010 when they’d first started talking about a future together. Phil had said he’d always dreamed of being a parent. Dan had said he wasn’t so sure. At first, it hadn’t seemed to matter so much. Their relationship was still young, and neither knew exactly where it was going. They might never even get to that stage. 

 

But the more serious their relationship got, the bigger of an issue it became for Phil. And there were other things, too. Dan’s Mums kept pushing him to break up with Phil and date an Alpha instead. And there had been arguments — about where to draw the line between their private lives and their public ones, about how much of their relationship they dared share with their fast-growing audience. They’d both been very young, too, and not very good at arguing in a way that didn’t feel like the whole world was crashing down around their ears. Eventually, they’d come to the mutual conclusion that what they valued most in their relationship was the friendship and their shared career. The romantic aspects put those things in jeopardy, so they’d decided to end them.

 

Phil had already let go of the possibility of ever having children with Dan by that point anyway. Every time he’d brought the subject up, the Omega had been vague enough about it to convince Phil that it wasn’t something he really wanted.

 

Yet now…

 

“Well, I mean,” Dan was saying, leaning away from him with a troubled look on his face. “I never particularly did. But I was also never sure that I didn’t. I just…knew I didn’t want children then and wasn’t sure if I ever would.” He looked up into Phil’s eyes with a veiled expression. “It’s different now, though. I…” He trailed off, chest heaving with quick breaths. “What you said this morning, that I’m growing older. It won’t be too long until I’m thirty, and they say that fertility begins to drop off then. I mean, if I do ever want kids…maybe the time is now.”

 

Phil frowned at him.

 

“I can understand that,” he said slowly, “but if you’ve decided you do want children, don’t you want to have them with…well, with someone else?”

 

He watched the Omega’s face closely as he thought about Phil’s question. And he really did seem to be thinking about it. Phil could almost see the thoughts passing through his mind as though there were a scrolling bar implanted in his forehead: fear, worry, trepidation, hope.

 

“It could be years before I find someone else,” Dan said at last, looking up into his eyes with a steadier gaze. Phil’s heart began beating harder again. “And…you’re going to be in my life no matter what. We already share everything else. I can… I can picture myself raising a child with you.”

 

Phil wondered for a moment if he was hallucinating all of this. Maybe it was just a particularly vivid dream. Could this really be Dan saying this to him? Dan, who when they were dating, had never once been willing to talk about having a family with Phil.

 

But he knew it was real. Dan really meant what he was saying. He was seriously considering having Phil’s baby, and he was inviting Phil to stick around and raise it with him. He was asking Phil to decide whether that was something he wanted or not.

 

“If I— Hypothetically, I mean, if I couldn’t picture myself raising a child with you too,” Phil said, trying to tease out exactly what Dan was saying, “would you still want to keep it?”

 

Dan looked away, another tear rolling down his cheek. Phil couldn’t see his face now, but he could still sense what he must be thinking. He would be wondering if Phil meant that, if that was what he really wanted. Honestly, Phil himself didn’t know. It was exciting imagining being a father, having a little baby to care for and teach about the world and show all of the exciting things in it. On the other hand, Dan hadn’t mentioned anything about the two of them becoming a couple again. The idea of having a child and raising it together with no greater a commitment than friendship was daunting, to say the least.

 

And then there was the fear that if he did agree to this, if he said he wanted this baby with Dan, and they started planning for it together, picking out names, shopping for furniture, deciding how to break it to their families — Dan might still get cold feet and decide not to go through with it. Dan could still change his mind, and once Phil had allowed himself to get invested in the idea of this child, that would be devastating.

 

Dan was turning back to him, face covered with red blotches and cheeks shining with tears.

 

“I… I think I would,” he whispered, his voice shaking so much that Phil could barely understand him. “I, um…I think I’m ready to be a parent. Now.”

 

That was big. For Dan, that was a big thing to say.

 

But Phil just still couldn’t be sure. He wanted a family so badly, always had. He wanted the whole package, really — a wedding, exchanged rings, a cute little house together, a big, noisy family, holidays at the seaside, watching the kids grow up, growing old together. But Dan wasn’t offering him any of that. Oh, sure, they would probably grow old together, just as they’d depicted in the stage show they’d co-written. Someday, they would be wrinkled, grey-haired old men, still best friends and still drawing cat whiskers on their faces.

 

But what about Phil’s dream future? If he agreed to raise this baby with Dan, what would that mean for any future relationships he might have? It was hard enough convincing the people he dated that there was nothing wrong with him living with his ex. It would be even harder once they were raising a kid together.

 

“I need time,” Phil said. He looked up at Dan to find that he was biting his lips and nodding. “I’m sorry, Dan. I’m— I just need time to think it over.”

 

The Omega’s eyes squeezed shut as more tears began to leak out, but he was still nodding.

 

“That’s okay,” he whispered. “I understand. I have another appointment on Wednesday.” He opened his eyes and reached up to rub at them again. Then he attempted a smile. “I’m supposed to let Dr. Paul know what I decided then.”

 

Phil nodded too. So that was his deadline, was it? He had until Wednesday to decide whether he was on board with this plan. But even if he wasn’t, even if he decided he just couldn’t commit to raising a baby with Dan, no matter what, Dan was still his best friend.

 

“I’ll come with you,” he said. “If you want me to, I’ll come with you, um, for support.”

 

A strange expression crossed Dan’s face.

 

“Oh, um. Okay. Let’s… We’ll see when the time comes,” he stuttered.

 

Phil nodded. Right. Maybe Dan wouldn’t want him there, if one or other of them decided not to go through with this.

 

He got to his feet then. The video was still sitting open on the computer half-edited, but he’d saved it, so he wasn’t worried about leaving it for Dan to close.

 

“I need some time to clear my head,” he announced. “I’m gonna…go out for a walk. Okay?”

 

Dan looked up at him with solemn eyes, tears still streaking his cheeks. 

 

“Okay,” he said.

 

 

**

 

 

He ended up calling his brother. 

 

His first instinct had been to call his mum. He’d relied on her his entire life for advice, especially when he’d first started having to deal with adult things and needed an older person’s wisdom. This situation was about as adult as they came. But when he’d pulled up her name in his contacts list, he couldn’t bring himself to dial.

 

What if he told her that Dan was expecting his child and then Dan decided to end the pregnancy? He’d have to deal with her disappointment as well as any he himself might feel.

 

No, it would be better to wait and tell his parents once things were more sure.

 

So instead, he’d called his older brother, who heard the unsteady note in his voice at once and asked if something was wrong.

 

“Kind of,” he’d said, staring around at the nearby trees and bushes. He’d wandered down to the nearest park, where he’d just sort of been circling the paths for the past hour, trying to sort out his feelings. “Can you talk right now?”

 

“Yeah, of course,” Martyn said. “Where are you? I can hear birds chirping.”

 

“In the park,” Phil said.

 

“Is it safe to talk there?” Martyn asked, sounding like he doubted it.

 

“No one’s around,” Phil replied. There were some old people on a far corner, but he’d walked around enough times to know the park was empty of anyone else. It was now nearing the hottest part of the day, and he himself was already drenched in sweat. He guessed anyone who could be was indoors out of the heat right now.

 

“All right,” his brother said, and Phil could hear his shrug in the tone of his voice. “What’s up?”

 

Phil took a breath and then just said it.

 

“Dan’s pregnant.”

 

There was a long silence on the other end.

 

“Is it yours?” Martyn finally asked, his voice very subdued.

 

Phil nodded and then realized he was on the phone.

 

“Yes,” he said. Martyn was aware, of course, of the past tense status of his and Dan’s romantic relationship. He wasn’t aware, most likely, of the fact that they still fooled around occasionally. Still, he was smart enough to realize that if Phil was calling him upset about Dan being pregnant, he was probably more than just an innocent bystander.

 

“Does he want to keep it?”

 

At times like these, Phil was really glad for his brother’s ability to practically read his mind. It saved him a lot of awkward explanations.

 

“Maybe,” Phil said. “He…says he can picture us raising a child together.”

 

“But you aren’t so sure,” Martyn guessed.

 

“No,” Phil confirmed, reaching up to swipe an annoying trickle of sweat off the side of his face. “I mean, I used to want that with Dan, but that was years ago. Having a child with him now… What if I meet someone else I want to have children with more?”

 

There was silence again while Martyn seemed to be considering that.

 

“Did he say he didn’t want you having children with anyone else?” his brother asked then.

 

“No.”

 

“So…he doesn’t want to get back together?”

 

Phil chewed at his lower lip.

 

“No.”

 

“Do you want to get back together?”

 

Phil stopped in his pacing and tilted his head back to glare at the sun-dappled leaves overhead. Now there was a question he hadn’t thought to ask himself. Maybe that in itself was answer enough. 

 

“I don’t think so,” he said after a brief pause. “It’s not something I’ve ever thought much about, at least not since we first broke up.”

 

“Okay,” Martyn said. “What if he decides not to keep it? How will you feel then?”

 

Phil didn’t want to have to think about how that might feel. There would be a sense of loss, yes, and disappointment. But he would understand. They had a book coming soon and more touring, other commitments, and half-baked dreams of doing more stage shows in the future. A baby would, at the very least, complicate those plans. If Dan didn’t feel like he could commit to raising a child right now, then it would be in everyone’s best interest for him not to go through with it.

 

“I think I would be okay with it,” he said. “It would make me sad, though.”

 

There was a much longer pause this time.

 

“Then I guess what it really comes down to is whether you want to raise a child with Dan or not,” his brother said finally.

 

“Yes,” Phil agreed. “That’s what it comes down to.”

 

“Do you think he would be a good dad?”

 

Phil raised his eyebrows. Did he? That wasn’t a question he’d bothered asking himself in a long, long time. Still, the answer came pretty easily.

 

“Yeah, I do,” he said. “He’s really good with kids. I know if it were his own child, he’d love them with everything he had.”

 

He’d seen him with their friends’ kids or sometimes even laughing and smiling at strangers’ children when they were out and about. There was a loving warmth about him that made him a natural with little ones.

 

All at once something seemed to settle into place inside Phil’s chest. Up until that moment he hadn’t really been able to picture it — Dan with their baby in his arms, Phil standing beside him, smiling down at the Omega who had just given birth to his firstborn. But now he had all kinds of images in his mind — Dan with a toddler here in this very park, the three of them on a picnic, Phil pushing a child on a swing while Dan stood by and took dozens of pictures of them on his cell phone.

 

He smiled, a big, bright, soul-crushing smile. God, he wanted that so badly.

 

Maybe he and Dan weren’t in love anymore, but they loved each other as deeply as two people could. He could already easily imagine them spending their lives together. Add a child into the mix, and it sounded almost perfect.

 

He could hear Martyn drawing breath on the other end of the line, perhaps preparing to ask another question.

 

“I think I want to do it,” Phil blurted out before his brother could speak again. “I think I want Dan to keep the baby, and I want to raise it with him.”

 

Martyn’s silence stretched for so long that Phil started to get nervous. Maybe he didn’t approve. Maybe he was trying to think of how to talk Phil out of this—

 

“Really?” he said at last, his voice cracking on the single word. He was crying. Phil’s brother almost never cried.

 

Suddenly Phil found that he was getting choked up too.

 

“Yeah,” he said, his voice wavering. “Really.”


	3. Parameters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decision time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter on Sunday! Thank you so much to everyone who has kudos'ed, commented, or even just read this so far. <3

Dan was lying on his bed with his headphones on listening to _A Moon Shaped Pool_ and trying not to think about anything for a while. Radiohead was usually pretty good for that, but at the moment, Dan was having a hard time not letting his thoughts overtake him.

 

Phil had been gone for a full two hours. 

 

Finally, about thirty minutes ago, Dan had heard him come back in. He’d waited to see if Phil would come and find him, but only a few minutes had passed before he’d heard the shower turning on.

 

He guessed Phil still wasn’t ready to talk.

 

It was ludicrous to expect him to be, of course. Dan had just dumped something pretty heavy onto his shoulders and then asked him to make one of the most significant decisions of his life. Of course he would need more than a couple of hours to consider it.

 

The shower had turned off about five minutes ago, and Dan was doing his best not to listen for the sound of Phil’s footsteps in the corridor or to anticipate a knock at his—

 

There was a knock at his door.

 

He sat up at once, pulling his headphones down and calling a tentative, “Come in.”

 

The door opened, and Phil stepped inside, dressed in a different t-shirt and shorts than he’d been wearing earlier. His hair was still dripping wet, and he had a towel wrapped around his shoulders.

 

“Hey,” he said, offering Dan a bright smile.

 

That was an encouraging sign.

 

“Hey,” Dan answered, pressing the pause button on his phone screen and moving it and the headphones over to his nightstand.

 

“Can we talk about it some more?” Phil asked, taking a few steps further into the room.

 

Dan did his best to smile and patted the duvet beside him. His roommate walked over and plopped down in the middle of the bed next to him.

 

“So,” Phil said, crossing his legs and looking Dan square in the eye, “if I did want to raise this baby with you, what would that look like?”

 

Dan felt his eyes widening, and then the tears were there again, pooling at the corners of his eyes. He _wasn’t_ going to give in to them this time, though.

 

“W-what do you mean, ‘what would that look like’?” he stammered.

 

“I mean, like,” Phil raised his gaze to the ceiling as he considered his words, “would we be together again as, like, a couple? Or would we still date other people?”

 

Dan frowned a little, thinking about it. It would probably make things more convenient for them to be a couple, but convenience was no real basis for a romantic relationship.

 

“I don’t think I’ll be dating anyone for a while,” Dan began, “um, only because I don’t see many people going for the huge, pregnant belly look.” He paused to let out a chuckle, and Phil smiled. “But I wouldn’t have a problem if you wanted to keep dating other people. As long as you’re still around to help out when needed,” he added almost as an afterthought.

 

Phil’s expression turned more serious.

 

“Right, that’s something else,” he said. “Once the baby is born, of course, we can take turns caring for it, but during your pregnancy, what kinds of things would you want me to actually do? I mean…if we’re going to go through with this, I’m willing to help out in any way I can. Going to appointments with you and parenting classes and doing those weird breathing exercises and running out to buy you pickles and Rocky Road ice cream at three in the morning—“

 

“Ew,” Dan said, wrinkling his nose. “I really hope I don’t end up craving that.”

 

“My mum told me she couldn’t stop eating prawn-flavored crisps when she was pregnant with me,” Phil put in helpfully.

 

“That would be far preferable,” Dan agreed. “Um, yeah, I think I would want you to do all of those things. And once I blow up like a beach ball and can’t get around, I would expect you to help me up and down the stairs and stuff.”

 

Phil nodded.

 

“That’s another thing I was thinking about,” he said. “I don’t think this flat is an ideal place for either you or the baby once it’s born. Do you think maybe we should move before you get much further along?”

 

That was when it hit Dan that this was actually happening. If Phil had already started thinking about the two of them moving to a better, more baby-proof home together, then he must be serious about the idea of having this baby with him.

 

The tears finally won out then and began rolling down his cheeks.

 

“Yeah,” he croaked in a tear-broken voice. “Yeah, I think we should. Phil?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Are we really doing this?”

 

The Beta’s eyes sparkled at him and then took on a soft expression.

 

“Yeah,” he said. “I mean, I want to raise the baby with you if you want to keep it.”

 

Dan closed his eyes and took a moment to savor those words. It was crazy to look back and see all the little steps he’d taken over these past several days to reach this moment. Somehow he had gone from being convinced he couldn’t keep this pregnancy to being certain he wanted nothing more than to raise this child with Phil. He couldn’t pinpoint any one moment that his feelings had changed, but somewhere along the way, he had begun actually picturing their future with this child in it, and he’d found that he was in love with the idea.

 

He opened his eyes again.

 

“I do want to keep it,” he said.

 

Phil’s expression changed again, anxiety rising in his eyes.

 

“Are you sure about that, Dan? I don’t want you to keep it just because you think it’s what I want or because you’re trying to make me happy.”

 

The Omega shook his head.

 

“It’s what I want, too,” he said. “I just… I started imagining what our kid might look like and wondering whether they would get your nose or my hair or your clumsiness or my insane awkwardness and… I think I love them already.” There were tears streaming down his cheeks again, and he was pretty sure there was snot coming out of his nose too, but at the moment he couldn’t care less.

 

He saw the anxiety in Phil’s eyes transform into excitement. That was the only warning he got before he felt the Beta’s arms around him, dragging him into a tight hug.

 

“Dan,” he heard him whisper right near his ear, “we’re going to have a baby.”

 

 

**

 

Once they’d both dried their eyes and washed their faces, they spent the rest of the evening curled up on Dan’s bed, scrolling through real estate websites together and talking about what kind of place they should get.

 

“I think it’s good for kids to have a garden growing up,” Dan opined as they scrolled through listings of houses. “Somewhere they can go outside and feel grass on their toes and the sun on their skin.”

 

“Yeah,” Phil nodded, “a nice big garden. Or at least some really nice parks nearby.”

 

“So, do you want to stay in London?” Dan asked, the question occurring to him all of a sudden. “We both grew up in smaller towns, after all. Do you think that would be a better environment for them to grow up in?”

 

“Hmm,” Phil said, “but think of all the cool things they can grow up doing here, like going to famous places and museums and things.” He paused. “Plus it’s better for both of our careers to stay here.”

 

Dan couldn’t deny that. It was something he had worried a bit about as he’d been making the decision to keep the baby — his career. He had the good fortune that many bearers did not of having a very flexible career that would allow him to adjust his work schedule to the needs of his pregnancy and eventual newborn child. He supposed now that it was a blessing in disguise that they hadn’t been able to book any showings of TATINOF beyond December.

 

Still, it wouldn’t be easy to keep up a full-time internet presence, especially once the baby arrived. And then there was the question of how their audience would react.

 

He shook his head. They would cross that bridge when they came to it.

 

“That’s a good point,” he said out loud. “So we’re looking for a house in London with a yard and at least three bedrooms.” He thought for a moment. “Four, preferably, so that we can have a guest room too.”

 

When they saw the prices for what they were looking for, their eyes almost fell out of their sockets.

 

“Maybe we should look farther on the outskirts?” Phil suggested.

 

It wasn’t like they didn’t have the money. They’d become very successful in their careers in the past few years, and they had the bank accounts to prove it. But neither of them liked to throw money around just because they could. They’d both been raised with middle class habits of frugality that had stuck with them despite the growing numbers on each of their bank statements.

 

They searched farther afield and found some promising prospects, so they both decided that first thing Monday, they would reach out to a real estate agent to help them start viewing some properties.

 

On Monday morning, once breakfast had been taken care of, Phil sat down in the lounge to call the agent’s and Dan walked down to his bedroom and pulled out his phone to call the doctor’s office.

 

“Central London Omegacare,” the polite voice on the other end said. “How may I assist you?”

 

“My name is Daniel Howell, and I have an appointment for Wednesday.”

 

“Just a moment, Mr. Howell,” the voice said, and he could hear the sound of keyboard keys clacking. “All right, yes, I have your information pulled up here. Would you like to make a change to the appointment?”

 

“I guess so,” Dan said. “Dr. Paul said she wanted to order an ultrasound for the appointment if…um, if I was going to continue with the pregnancy.”

 

“Yes, I see her notes here. Are you calling to schedule the ultrasound?”

 

“Yes,” Dan said, relieved that the person had understood without him needing to explain any further.

 

“All right, Mr. Howell, I will make a note of that here. We look forward to seeing you on Wednesday. Good day.”

 

“Good day,” he replied.

 

When his call was finished, he made his way out to the lounge to find Phil just hanging up his own phone call.

 

“We’ve got a meeting with the agent tomorrow morning,” he told Dan with a grin.

 

“And we’ve also got an ultrasound at my doctor’s office on Wednesday,” Dan returned with an even bigger grin. “If you’d like to come, I mean.”

 

“Of course I’d like to come,” Phil said, his grin becoming a shy smile. “Um, I want to support you, if you need me to, and I also want to see the baby.”

 

The excitement on the Beta’s face was infectious. Dan could feel it welling up inside of him too, a fizzy warmth that filled his entire chest, threatening to burst out of him at any moment. Something like that simply demanded to be shared.

 

“Do you think we should tell our families?” he asked, padding over and sinking down onto the end of the sofa beside Phil.

 

“Oh,” Phil said. “Don’t be mad, but, uh, I did already tell my brother.”

 

Dan raised his eyebrows.

 

“You told Martyn before you told your mum? Don’t let her find that out, or she’ll skin you alive.”

 

Phil shook his head and gave Dan’s shoulder a little shove.

 

“As long as you and Martyn both keep quiet about it, I should be able to keep my skin intact. No, but I only called Martyn because I needed someone to help me talk through my decision.”

 

Dan nodded. Phil was like that. He relied on his family at big moments in his life.

 

“Do you think we should tell all the rest of them now, though?” he asked again. “Or should we wait? I was, um, doing some research online, and I read that a lot of people wait until after the first trimester ends?”

 

“So…in another month?” Phil asked, frowning as he considered it.

 

“Mm hmm,” Dan said. “I think we should at least wait until we’ve had the ultrasound.”

 

“Okay,” Phil said with a nod. “That sounds reasonable. I don’t know how long we’ll really be able to put off telling people with how busy our schedule is about to get.”

 

“Yeah,” Dan agreed and then hesitated, debating whether to say the rest. He decided, though, that Phil now had as much right to this information as he did. “Um, Dr. Paul said that the ultrasound would let her check for any abnormalities in the pregnancy. So, you know, if she does find anything…”

 

The Beta’s face became very sober.

 

“You might still decide to end the pregnancy,” he finished for him.

 

Dan reached out a hand and squeezed Phil’s inside it.

 

“ _We_ might decide that,” he corrected, “after talking it over with the doctor.”

 

He watched as Phil took that in.

 

“This baby is as much yours as it is mine,” Dan continued after a moment, “so I want you to have a say in any further decisions we make about it.”

 

A small smile broke across Phil’s lips. He squeezed Dan’s hand back.

 

“Good,” he said.

 

 

**

 

It seemed to take forever for Wednesday to finally come. They’d had a productive meeting with the real estate agent on Tuesday, and he’d assured them he could show them several properties that fit their criteria. They made plans with him to tour some of them later in the week.

 

When they’d gotten home, they’d found a package waiting for them containing several books Dan had ordered online on Saturday evening. There was a copy of _What to Expect When You’re Expecting_ , _Omega Pregnancy 101_ , _Natural Birth: A Guide_ , and one for Phil called _The “Other” Parent._

 

“Oh, that’s flattering,” Phil had grumbled when Dan had handed the book over to him.

 

“It had really good reviews,” Dan assured him with a chuckle. “It’s supposed to be a pregnancy guide specifically for the non-bearing parent. Lots of people said they found it helpful.”

 

Phil had muttered some more under his breath, but later that night, Dan had seen him in his bedroom, peering at the pages with close attention.

 

Wednesday morning had come at last, and they’d had to get up at an ungodly hour to make their 8:00 AM appointment. It was the only time Dr. Paul had been able to squeeze Dan into an already-booked day.

 

Bleary eyes notwithstanding, they showed up at the appointment on time and were ushered back to a room at once. Rather than a normal examination room, this one was a large room with a bed in the center and the ultrasound machine set up beside it. Dr. Paul and a technician were already waiting inside.

 

“Good morning, Dan,” the doctor greeted him with a cheerful smile. She must be a morning person, he grumbled internally.

 

“Good morning, Dr. Paul,” Dan said. “This is Phil. He’s the baby’s other father.”

 

She and Phil exchanged polite greetings, and then she had Dan lie down on the table, unbutton his jeans, push them down a bit and pull his t-shirt up. Then the technician, who introduced herself as Molly, slathered cold gel on his abdomen while Dr. Paul explained what was happening.

 

“The gel helps to conduct the waves so that we get a nice, clear picture,” she said. “Molly will place the transducer on your abdomen and move it around until we can see the fetus on this screen here.” She indicated a large screen beside the bed. “We’ll take a look at your baby, and then Molly will record some pictures for you that you can take home.”

 

Dan was pretty sure it wasn’t normal for a doctor to actually be present for something as simple as an ultrasound. He was very grateful to Dr. Paul for taking the time to do this for him.

 

He felt someone take his hand and turned his head to see Phil there, smiling down at him. He was grateful to Phil too, for being here and for being willing to embark on this crazy journey with him in the first place.

 

A moment later, the technician was rubbing a white plastic thing with a long curly cord over the gel, so he looked at the screen, where he could see a lot of black with some moving white shapes scattered across it. And then, suddenly, there it was. Right in the center of a circular black area was a little, white blob with a rounded bit on one end that he was pretty sure was its head. In the very center of the blob was a tiny flicker.

 

“There’s our guy,” he heard Molly exclaim.

 

“Is that the baby?” Phil asked in a breathless voice from beside him.

 

“That’s the baby,” Dr. Paul confirmed. She raised a finger and pointed at the rounded bit. “That’s the head, and this flickering part here is the heart beating.”

 

Dan couldn’t tear his eyes away. That was his baby, right there on the screen. That was its tiny little head and its tiny little heart beating away inside of him right now. It was alive. It was real. A real, little human being that he had helped create.

 

“Wow,” he heard Phil whisper, and then he felt his fingers squeezing more tightly around his hand. “That’s our baby.”

 

“I’ll take a closer look at the sonograms later on,” Dr. Paul was saying. “For now, once you get cleaned up, I’d like to see you in an examination room to go over some information.”

 

“Okay,” Dan said, still focused on the grainy image on the screen. She left the room then, and the technician busied herself recording some of the images and answering questions both Dan and Phil shot at her about what they were seeing on the screen.

 

“Is that the actual size?” Phil asked, and Dan finally ripped his eyes from the screen to stare up at the Beta’s face. His eyes were wide and his mouth hanging slightly open in amazement.

 

“No, we make it look a bit bigger on the screen to make it easier to see,” Molly explained. “We’ll need to wrap this up now so that you’ll have time to see Dr. Paul. Don’t worry, though,” she smiled at them. “I’ve taken lots of good pictures for you.”

 

It seemed like Dan scrubbed forever with the paper towels the technician gave him to get the gel off his stomach, but even after all that, his skin still felt slippery. He gave up eventually, and together he and Phil, who had been busy collecting their take-home pictures from Molly, walked down to the examination room the technician had told them was theirs.

 

Dr. Paul slipped in a few minutes after they did, holding a folder and clipboard.

 

“All right, Mr. Howell and Mr.—“ She looked up at Phil expectantly.

 

“Lester,” he supplied.

 

“Mr. Lester, I’ll need to take down some information about both of your medical histories, and then we can talk about the plan from here on out.”

 

“My medical history?” Phil asked.

 

“Yes,” she replied. “family history of genetic disease, that sort of thing.”

 

“Oh,” he said.

 

It took a while to go through the exhaustive list of both of their medical histories. She also wanted details about anything Dan had done during the first two months when he had been unaware of the pregnancy, whether he had drunk alcohol or smoked or been exposed to any toxic substances.

 

Then she went over the various tests she recommended they schedule for the coming weeks, screening for various diseases and abnormalities. After a brief discussion, they agreed to her recommendations, and she let them know they could schedule the specific dates with the reception before they left.

 

And last of all she checked in with Dan about whether he had been following her directions from last time. When he confirmed that he had, she responded with a wide smile.

 

“Judging by what I saw on the ultrasound, I would guess the original estimate of eight weeks is accurate. We can reasonably judge that your due date will be in the first week of April. Let’s tentatively say it will be the 3rd of April.”

 

He shared a glance with Phil then, seated in a chair beside the examination table. The 3rd of April. It seemed forever away now.

 

“In addition to the regimen I prescribed you before, since the baby’s non-bearing parent,” she nodded at Phil, “will be present during your pregnancy, I would also prescribe regular stimulation of the bonding gland, at least two or three times per week.”

 

He very specifically did not look at Phil this time. If he did, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to keep from turning beet red in embarrassment. Phil definitely knew all about stimulating his bonding gland.

 

“The reason for this is that the release of the bonding hormones promotes good health for both the pregnant Omega and the fetus,” Dr. Paul was continuing. “There is also some evidence that if your baby is either an Omega or an Alpha, regular interaction with the bonding gland by the non-bearing parent can lead to your baby learning both parents’ scents in the womb. This can help with building the parent-child bond during the first few days after birth.”

 

“Okay,” Dan said, and out of the corner of his eye, he could see Phil nodding in agreement as well.

 

“Either biting or direct skin-to-skin stimulation with the hand will work,” the doctor finished up and then rose from her seat. “Were there any more questions I could answer for either of you before I go?”

 

“None from me,” Phil said.

 

“I did have one,” Dan put in. “Um, I’m just wondering… Since I was on birth control and heat suppressants, I don’t understand how I even got pregnant?”

 

Dr. Paul’s expression turned more serious.

 

“It’s a rare case, to be sure,” she said. “But not unheard of. With perfect use, the combination of hormonal birth control and oral heat suppressants is 99.9% effective in preventing Omega pregnancy. With typical use, though, it drops to about 97% effectiveness.”

 

“Oh,” Dan said, gaze dropping to his feet. So it was his fault, for accidentally skipping his pill.

 

“After your pregnancy, we can talk about alternate options,” the doctor continued with a smile. “Perhaps long-term birth control would work better for you.”

 

Dan nodded, doing his best not to look at Phil again. He was glad he’d been here to hold Dan’s hand and share in the excitement of seeing the baby for the first time, but now Dan was kind of wishing he’d asked to speak to Dr. Paul alone. This wasn’t exactly a conversation he wanted to have in front of his roommate, even if he was having a baby with him.

 

“Thank you very much, Dr. Paul,” Dan said, forcing himself to return her smile. “You’ve explained everything very well.”

 

“It’s my pleasure,” she said with a little nod of the head. “I look forward to seeing you at your next appointment.”

 

**

 

They took a taxi home instead of the tube so that they would have privacy to pull out the sonograms and stare at them in wonder again.

 

“This part of the blob is especially cute,” Phil murmured, leaning over Dan’s shoulder to look at the black and white image he held. His finger was indicating the part that Molly had told them was the head.

 

“Really?” Dan murmured back. “I rather liked this part,” and he pointed toward the grainy white area where they’d seen the heart beating.

 

“That’s a pretty cute part too,” Phil agreed. There was a brief silence and then he said in a voice low enough that the music blaring from the taxi’s radio almost drowned it out, “So, I wanted to ask you something.”

 

Dan glanced up at the driver, who was bopping their head along to the music.

 

“Okay,” he said, his voice just as low as Phil’s.

 

“Well,” Phil said, clearing his throat a bit. “I know we decided we didn’t want to be a couple again, and I’m fine with that… But what about sex? I mean, we’ve always just approached it kind of casually, but I think we can both agree that things have changed now, and…” He paused in the middle of the rush of words. “I liked our previous arrangement, but I don’t know how you feel about it or whether we should just call it quits or…” His voice trailed off, and he turned to meet Dan’s eye in the narrow back seat of the cab.

 

Dan chewed at his lip. This was definitely not the kind of conversation he wanted anyone to overhear, even if they were most likely not even listening.

 

“Can we discuss this when we get home?” he said.

 

Phil’s eyes darted toward the taxi driver too.

 

“Right,” he said. “Okay.”

 

Dan slid the sonogram image back into the plain manila envelope they’d been given, and they rode the rest of the way home in silence.

 

That was all right with Dan, though. It gave him time to consider how he wanted to respond to Phil. He’d been mulling over the same question. Obviously, as long as he was pregnant, they didn’t have to worry about Phil getting him pregnant again. What worried Dan more was how his pregnancy might alter their dynamic. Over the past four years, ever since they’d broken up in early 2012, they'd managed to achieve a comfortable stasis in their sex life, where either one could initiate sex, and if the other felt up to it, they would have fun, meaningless sex and then go on with their lives as normal. Occasionally, they would turn each other down, with no hard feelings. 

 

Part of the key to maintaining this balance was talking about it regularly, like they talked about every aspect of their shared lives. And every time they’d checked in with each other, they’d both expressed contentment with their casual arrangement.

 

But how could things stay casual when they were about to become parents together? Maybe they were kidding themselves that they could become co-parents without becoming a couple. Maybe they should just give in to the inevitable.

 

A lot of his Omega friends who were parents had told him that the pregnancy hormones had completely altered their sex lives.

 

He couldn’t help letting his mind drift back to this past Thursday, when Phil had come on to him, whispering how badly he wanted to be fucked. Normally, Dan was 100% down to fuck his best friend’s arse, but for some reason he’d ended up begging Phil to dominate him instead. Something deep inside had made him long to be taken, held down and used. He’d wanted to feel overwhelmed, to have his mind and body full of nothing else but sex.

 

He wondered if that had been the hormones or something else.

 

By tacit agreement, once they got home, they both took a moment to get comfortable before sitting down to hash things out. Dan stopped by the toilet — he was not looking forward to how frequent an occurrence that was about to become — while Phil poured them both some Ribena. Then they met again in the lounge, settling on the sofa facing one another.

 

“So,” Phil said, “what do you think?”

 

Dan took a deep breath.

 

“I think,” he said carefully, “that knowing us, the sex is going to happen anyway, especially if, um,” — he could feel the heat rising in his face — “you’re regularly stimulating my bonding gland. As long as we, you know, keep the lines of communication open, I think we can just keep going as we always have.” He paused and then looked at Phil with a questioning expression. “How about you?”

 

Phil nodded and then looked away for a moment. When he looked back, he had a hesitant expression on his face.

 

“It’s just… I was reading this article about sex during pregnancy—“

 

“Of course you were, you horny bastard,” Dan muttered with an affectionate roll of the eyes.

 

“—and it said that we should use a condom if we weren’t in a monogamous relationship,” Phil continued as though Dan hadn’t spoken, “because if either of us contracted an STI, it could harm the baby, so I was thinking…maybe we should be exclusive, just while you’re pregnant at least.”

 

Dan’s eyebrows rose. He hadn’t considered that. Of course, they could just use condoms, or not have sex at all. He didn’t much care for that option, if only because he doubted anyone but Phil would be much interested in having sex with him once he was obviously pregnant.

 

But being sexually exclusive was a dicey proposition. Wouldn’t that be basically the same as dating?

 

“So,” he said slowly, “we wouldn’t sleep with anyone else while I’m pregnant, but we could after the baby is born, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Phil gave a firm nod. “And, I guess if either of us met someone we were interested in, we could stop having sex, like we always have.”

 

Dan pursed his lips.

 

“That’s a good point,” he agreed. “Okay. Let’s try that then.”

 

A grin sprang to Phil’s lips.

 

“Good,” he stated. Something about his expression looked suspiciously self-satisfied.

 

“What is it?” Dan asked, narrowing his eyes.

 

“Nothing, nothing,” Phil said, shaking his head but still grinning. “It’s just that that article also mentioned that it’s good for you and the baby if we have a lot of sex while you’re pregnant.”

 

Dan’s eyes narrowed even further.

 

“Oh, did it now?”

 

“It did!” Phil insisted, tone going defensive. “It said that orgasms can lower your blood pressure and help you sleep better and release stress-reducing hormones and—“

 

“Well, I don’t see why we have to have sex for me to have orgasms,” Dan pointed out.

 

Phil’s lower lip pouted out, and his eyes grew large and puppy-like.

 

“But…but…”

 

“Fine,” Dan said, unable to resist the smile that was tugging at his lips. When it came to Dan, Phil somehow always managed to get his way. “I suppose we can try having more sex. For the baby’s sake, of course.”

 

“Of course,” Phil said, his grin returning. “Speaking of which,” he continued, setting down his glass on the coffee table. Dan caught a familiar gleam in his eye, “maybe we should try that bonding gland thing right now.”

 

Dan set down his glass too.

 

“What I’m gathering is that my pregnancy makes you horny,” he teased. “Kinky.”

 

Phil didn’t answer but instead grabbed his hand and tugged him up off the sofa. Dan, whose heart was suddenly beating more quickly, didn’t resist.

 

Hand-in-hand, they made their way up the hallway to Dan’s bedroom, which over the years had become their mutually-agreed-upon default sex location.

 

“Lie down,” Phil told him, so Dan lay down on his stomach on the bed, and then Phil helped him off with his t-shirt.

 

It was weird, but Phil was really the only person who had ever dared to touch Dan’s bonding gland. Ellen, of course, had avoided it for fear of unintentionally bonding with him, and the same was true for the other Alphas he’d dated. With a Beta or Omega, that wasn’t really an issue, but he hadn’t ever dated any of them long enough for it to come up. It wasn’t the sort of thing an Omega wanted just anyone to do. He had once, a couple of years ago, been hooking up with a Beta he met on Tinder, who had grabbed his shoulder and squeezed it on accident, but he didn’t really count that.

 

With Phil, it was something they’d started playing around with a few months into their relationship.

 

Phil had never been with an Omega before Dan, so Dan had had to explain to him that it was safe for him to bite him or touch him there and that in fact, it would probably be a really good idea for him to do so. 

 

The first time they’d tried it had been a game-changer as far as their sex life was concerned. Dan had come so hard he’d seen stars. It was now one of their favorite things to do during sex.

 

He felt Phil positioning himself above him now, knees planted either side of his hips.

 

“How do you want me to do it?” Phil asked in a low, breathy voice. Dan turned his face into the pillow a bit to hide his smile. Leave it to Phil to already be so turned on. “The book you bought for me said that biting works better for ‘transmitting pheromones,’” he added before Dan had a chance to answer.

 

Dan turned back enough to be able to see the Beta’s face where he was leaning over Dan’s back, propped up on his palms.

 

“Betas don’t have pheromones, you spork,” he objected.

 

“I know they don’t,” Phil returned, “but the book said that your body and the baby could learn to recognize my ‘chemical signature.’ Like Dr. Paul was saying.”

 

“Hmm,” Dan said, resting his head back on the pillow, “but I want you to give me a back massage.”

 

“We can do that too,” Phil said at once, and Dan could sense him leaning away, settling his weight back onto his knees. “Nothing in anything I read said I can’t just do both.”

 

Dan breathed out a laugh through his nose.

 

“You do whatever you want to do,” he murmured, snuggling down into the mattress and closing his eyes. “I’m taking a nap.”

 

He heard Phil let out a chuckle, but other than that, the only response he got was the sensation of Phil’s palms being placed gently against his shoulder blades and then rubbing the skin of his back. He let out a long, relaxing sigh and felt himself melt further into the bed.

 

He’d been joking about the nap, yet Phil’s hands began working in slow, deep movements that quickly sent him drifting off on a peaceful cloud of sleep. He wasn’t sure how long it had been when he finally drifted back down to the sound of Phil’s voice whispering in his ear.

 

“I’m going to squeeze your bonding gland now,” he was saying.

 

“Mmm,” Dan agreed, his mouth too slack to form real words.

 

“Are you ready?” Phil’s voice whispered.

 

“Mm hmm,” Dan replied, concentrating all of his slight attention on the sensation of Phil’s hand rubbing lightly over his left shoulder. The hand gradually deepened the pressure on his skin, causing just a tiny tingle as it smoothed across the gland that sat about half a centimeter beneath the surface of the skin there. Dan breathed out another long sigh. Phil’s fingers deepened their pressure a little more, this time sending a pleasant ripple out from Dan’s shoulder and into his neck and chest and back. He wriggled a bit, a small smile twitching on his lips.

 

The next pass of Phil’s hand over his bonding gland was the one that finally woke him up. His eyes sprang open as the pressure from Phil’s fingers sent shots of pleasure like fizzing bottle rockets zinging out into his entire body. He couldn’t stop the moan that rolled up from his throat in response.

 

“Feel good?” Phil murmured, his lips still ticklingly close to Dan’s ear.

 

“Mmm,” Dan said, pushing his hips down into the bed a bit and nodding.

 

Then he felt Phil’s fingers close around his shoulder, squeezing hard around his bonding gland, and his mouth fell open in a long moan as a sizzle of pleasure shot across his skin and down through the core of him, whiting out everything inside his brain for a long moment.

 

Phil was making appreciative noises of his own, and for the first time Dan noticed that the Beta had settled himself on Dan’s arse and was rubbing his half-hard cock against Dan’s buttocks.

 

“Gonna bite you now,” Phil whispered, pushing his hips deeper into Dan’s backside.

 

“Yes,” Dan breathed, his whole body feeling like a violin string ready to be plucked.

 

For a brief second he felt Phil’s hot breath rolling over the bare skin of his shoulder, and the next moment he felt his teeth, biting down into the flesh, hard enough to hurt but not hard enough to break the skin.

 

It was like biting into an orange and feeling the juice spray into your mouth, except Dan was somehow both the orange and the mouth, and he could feel the sweet explosion bursting into his blood stream instead of onto his tongue. Down between his legs, his cock had swollen full and hard, and he pressed into the mattress beneath him, whimpering at the twin sources of pleasure.

 

Phil’s hands, free now, were sliding down his sides, and then one slipped into his jeans, beneath the band of his boxers, and around to his front to press itself against the underside of his erection.

 

Dan cried out then, a sharp sound of excitement and lust. Then he felt Phil’s teeth nipping at his shoulder again, sending another, smaller shockwave of pleasure spiraling through him.

 

“Fuck me,” he choked out, feeling himself teetering on the edge of ecstasy. He loved to come with a dick shoved deep inside him, something Phil knew very well about him.

 

Without a word, the Beta’s hands were at his flies, undoing the button and the zipper and then yanking down his jeans and his boxers together. He didn’t even bother to pull them all the way down, leaving them bunched somewhere just south of Dan’s knees. Distantly, there was the sound of a bottle cap opening, and then Dan felt a slick finger at his hole, rubbing in ever-deepening circles until it slipped inside at last. He circled his hips in time with its movements, whining in impatience. He needed Phil inside him _now_.

 

Still the Beta went slowly, taking his time to stretch Dan open with one finger and then two and then finally three at once.

 

“Fuck me,” Dan urged him again then, and this time the fingers disappeared, leaving his hole feeling open and exposed, ready.

 

There were sounds behind him, of Phil wrestling off his own jeans and boxers, and then the ripping sound of a condom being opened. He didn’t have time to ask himself why that might be before he could feel the tip of Phil’s cock bumping against his entrance, a gentle request for admittance.

 

He spread his legs as far apart as the jeans around his calves would allow him and looked back to meet the Beta’s eyes. He let out another whine and then moved his hips in a small circle, rubbing his slicked-up opening all around the head of Phil’s cock.

 

“Shit,” Phil breathed and then pushed in, his erection sliding easily into Dan’s loosened hole.

 

“God, yes,” Dan moaned, unable to stop himself pushing back onto Phil’s cock, forcing it deeper inside him. “So fucking good.”

 

He heard Phil groan, and then he began to fuck him, slowly at first, just a shallow in and out motion. Dan whimpered, too impatient, too keyed up to wait for him to build up a rhythm. He pushed back on Phil’s next thrust, shoving him deep enough that his arse cheeks met Phil’s hips.

 

“Holy fuck, Dan, slow down,” he heard the Beta laugh, and he grinned too, but responded by moving his hips in a circle again, sliding Phil all around the inside of him. He heard an “Oh, shit” drop from Phil’s lips, and his grin widened.

 

“Fine,” Phil muttered then. “You want me to fuck you like this?” and as he spoke, he thrust hard into Dan, hard enough to push his entire body up the bed.

 

“Yes, god, yes,” Dan moaned.

 

“Want me to make you cum so hard you can’t see straight?” he asked, pulling out and thrusting hard again.

 

“Yes, please,” Dan begged.

 

On the next thrust, Phil changed his angle, aiming perfectly so that the rounded head of his cock pressed into Dan’s prostate as it slid in again. A sharp cry was ripped from Dan’s throat. He could feel that the pressure had made him leak a little onto his sheets.

 

The Beta pulled almost all the way out and then slammed in again and then again and again, gliding over that sensitive spot inside of Dan each time, making his dick throb where it lay trapped between him and the mattress.

 

Dan was panting hard, moaning with each pass of the Beta’s cock over his sweet spot, feeling the pleasure pulling from every part of his body to concentrate within his abdomen. Then suddenly, as Phil made another thrust, he bent forward over Dan’s body and clamped his teeth down on Dan’s bonding gland again, sending another shower of sparks down through his entire body and pushing Dan over the edge at last.

 

He was dimly aware of Phil still thrusting inside him while his inner walls clenched rhythmically around his cock and his own cock spilled hot liquid out beneath him. He was shouting Phil’s name, his eyes squeezed shut with fireworks exploding across the black behind his eyelids and deep inside his abdomen.

 

Eventually, the explosions stopped and the pleasure began to soften into a warm sort of glow. He could feel now that Phil had stilled, could feel his cock throbbing inside his passage as the Beta reached his own orgasm. There was a slight twinge of sadness, a feeling of loss almost, that he couldn’t feel Phil’s cum spilling inside him. He missed that sensation, of being filled with someone’s seed.

 

But then Phil was pulling out and falling onto the bed beside him, and he let the thought drift away.

 

Dan opened his eyes to see the Beta lying on his side looking tired but with a glint of laughter in his eyes.

 

“So who were you saying was getting horny from you being pregnant?” he murmured.

 

Dan snorted.

 

“Hey, at least I can blame it on the hormones,” he slurred back, as the post-coital sleepiness began to take over his brain. “And having _someone_ bite the fuck out of my bonding gland,” he added.

 

One side of Phil’s lips twitched up a bit into an almost-smile.

 

“You loved it,” he muttered, his eyes slipping closed. “You wanna do it more.”

 

Dan grunted in response and let his own eyes close. A few seconds later, they were both fast asleep.


	4. New Terms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They can't keep it a secret forever, but adding new terms to an equation sometimes changes the outcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter on Wednesday! Thank you for reading <3

Phil glanced up and across the room and met his brother’s eyes. Martyn gave him a smile and an encouraging nod. Their mum, who was seated on the sofa on Dan’s other side, was chatting away with him, and their dad, sat in a chair next to Martyn, had engaged Martyn’s girlfriend, Cornelia, in a conversation. She was currently perched on the arm of Martyn’s chair, though nearly all of them had offered to give her their seat instead. She had declined every offer with a grin and an assurance that she was happy where she was.

 

Phil was waiting for a natural pause in the conversation to make the announcement. His parents had been planning to come down for a visit for several weeks now, since well before Dan had discovered he was pregnant. But since they’d gotten the call from Dr. Paul’s office a few days ago that his ultrasound showed nothing of concern, the two of them had decided this was a good time to break the news to Phil’s whole family.

 

The Lesters had gotten a hotel room — Dan and Phil’s flat didn’t have much in the way of guest accommodations — but had come over for tea before they all headed out to see a play together. Since they would all be returning home separately later, it seemed like it was now or never.

 

A momentary silence fell, and Phil cleared his throat. All eyes turned to him at once, and he bit his lip, trying to still his suddenly jangling nerves. Then he felt a hand resting on his thigh and looked over to see Dan giving him a small smile. He smiled back.

 

“We, um— That is, Dan and I have something to tell you,” Phil announced, tearing his eyes from Dan’s to gaze around the room.

 

Phil’s mum was staring down at Dan’s hand on Phil’s thigh with raised eyebrows, and his dad was frowning at them in confusion. He suppressed the panic that began to well up inside him by meeting Martyn’s steady gaze again. Cornelia was looking at Martyn too, having picked up on his knowing grin.

 

“It wasn’t something we planned,” Phil said, turning back to look at Dan again, needing the reassurance of his presence, of knowing they were in this together. “But Dan is pregnant, and we’ve decided we’re going to keep the baby and raise it together.”

 

Little crinkles appeared at the corners of Dan’s eyes as his smile deepened, and Phil felt his panic ebbing away again. They’d made a good decision. No matter what his family said, it wouldn’t change his belief in that.

 

He managed to tear his eyes away from Dan’s again to see how his parents were taking it. He caught them exchanging their own glance across the room. He read shock in their eyes and maybe some misgiving.

 

“Congratulations!” Martyn broke the silence at last. “That’s brilliant, you two! I can’t believe I’m going to be an uncle.”

 

Cornelia grinned over at the two of them as well.

 

“Yes, congratulations! How many weeks are you now? Do you know the due date yet?”

 

“I’m coming up on the eleventh week now,” Dan answered her, beaming. His morning sickness had begun to ease, and he’d started taking on that glow that everyone talked about pregnant people having. “The doctor gave the due date as 3rd April.”

 

“Oh, that’ll be good,” Cornelia said. “I hear it’s miserable going through the late stages during the summer, so you’ll get to avoid that.”

 

“Yes, thankfully,” Dan chuckled, “I’ve heard my Omega mum complain too many times about how awful the last month of her pregnancy with me was.”

 

“Oh, I had an awful time of it with Martyn,” Phil’s mum put in then finally, and Phil almost sighed with relief. “Luckily, by the last couple of months the weather had already cooled off, but just before that, Ugh!” She was leaning a little away from the sofa so that she could look Dan in the eye, and she made a grimace, which smoothed out almost at once. “Of course, it was all worth it once he was born and I had my little baby in my arms.” Her eyes shifted over to Martyn, and Phil could see now that they were shining with unshed tears. Then she turned back to Dan again. “I’m sure it will be the same for you.”

 

He shared her smile and gave a little nod. He was turned away from Phil to face his mum, but Phil didn’t need to see his face to know that there were tears in his eyes too.

 

“Well, I guess that means I’m going to be a grandfather,” Phil’s dad piped up across the room. “I don’t feel old enough to be a grandfather yet!”

 

“Maybe not, but you look it,” Martyn shot back with a smirk.

 

“I don’t care what your mother says,” Mr. Lester returned with a glare at his elder son, “I refuse to claim such an ill-mannered boy.”

 

“Dad, I’m 33,” Martyn objected.

 

“God, are you?” his father said, eyes going wide in mock horror. “Maybe I am old enough to be a grandfather after all.”

 

Phil found himself relaxing back into the sofa as his mother and then Cornelia jumped into the fray, teasing each other about their age and their upcoming changes in family member status with the new addition. It was going well. Very well, actually. He felt Dan’s hand squeezing his thigh, a silent congratulations of his own, for a successful announcement.

 

“Have you decided whether you want to find out the sex of the baby?”

 

Phil was jerked back into the conversation by the sudden question from his mum.

 

“Oh,” he said, sharing a quick glance with Dan, “we haven’t really discussed it yet.”

 

“We haven’t,” Dan agreed and then reached for the manila envelope they’d left sitting out on the coffee table, “but we do have the first ultrasounds here, if you’d like to see.”

 

“Yes, please!” Phil’s mum exclaimed at once, holding out her hand.

 

Across the room, Phil’s other family members chimed in with enthusiastic expressions of their own desire to see the picture.

 

Phil watched his mum’s face as she slid the black and white image out of the envelope and then laid it against the tan-colored paper to get a closer look. Her lips had parted in a soft smile and there was a sort of dreamy look in her eyes as she gazed at the vaguely baby-shaped white blotch in the center of the image.

 

“That’s my grandbaby,” she murmured, and the tears that had been threatening finally rolled down her cheeks. “Oh, goodness, Phil. I can’t believe it!” She looked up at him with a wavering smile. “I’m so happy for you.”

 

Phil felt tears choking his own throat. He couldn’t very well see his mum cry without getting emotional himself.

 

“Let us see too!” Martyn called, standing and walking over. His mum handed the image and envelope up to him, and he took it almost reverently from her.

 

His eyes grew wide as he stared down at it, and then, a solemn expression on his face, he carried it over to their dad. Cornelia hopped up and came over to look at it over Mr. Lester’s shoulder, cooing softly about how cute it looked.

 

“Well, it’s mostly just a shapeless blob at this point,” Dan told her, looking pleased. “But it’s our shapeless blob, so thank you.”

 

Cornelia started asking all kinds of questions about the ultrasound then, so Dan stood up and walked over to the group on the other side of the room to explain which part was the head and how they’d been able to see the heartbeat.

 

Phil’s mum took the opportunity to slide toward him and lean in close.

 

“This is very unexpected,” she murmured in a low voice. “I didn’t even know you two were back together.”

 

Phil swallowed and glanced over at the others, but they were all lost in their own conversation.

 

“We aren’t,” he murmured back. “It was, um, unexpected for us as well.”

 

She nodded and then seemed to be hesitating for a moment.

 

“I hate to ask this,” she said at last, “but, if you aren’t together… You are sure that the baby is yours?”

 

He suppressed the urge to grimace at her. It was a reasonable question, after all.

 

“Yes, Mum,” he replied. “Very sure.”

 

She nodded again and then leaned away.

 

“That’s all right then,” she told him with a smile.

 

He wanted to tell her that in a way, it didn’t even matter to him whether or not the baby was his. He planned for Dan to always be in his life, one way or another, so if Dan was going to have a baby, then the baby was going to be a part of his life too.

 

“I’m proud of you,” she said unexpectedly then. “This can’t have been an easy decision to make, for either of you.”

 

He met her eyes and shook his head a little. He loved his mum so much. She always seemed to just understand him, even the things he didn’t say.

 

“It wasn’t,” he said. “But I think we’ve chosen right.”

 

She reached over and patted a hand on his knee.

 

“I expect you have,” she murmured. “You’ve always been good at knowing just what will make you happiest.”

 

He opened his mouth to ask her to clarify what she meant, but just then Dan hurried over muttering about the time and how they were going to be late if they didn’t hurry, and the conversation was forgotten in the bustle of getting ready for their evening out.

 

**

 

The next people to know about Dan’s pregnancy were their managers. While the YouTube part of their careers could be easily worked around things like doctor’s appointments and birthing classes, the next several months were booked almost solid with TATINOF and DAPGO-related events that wouldn’t be nearly so flexible.

 

Not surprisingly, once the congratulations were out of the way, the conversation turned almost at once to difficult career questions.

 

“If your due date’s in April, there’s no way you’ll be able to do the Cool Summer event in Australia,” Marianne’s voice pointed out. They had her and Fleur on a three-way conference call on Dan’s phone.

 

Phil leaned forward over the table where they’d set the phone after putting it on speaker.

 

“We’ve discussed it, and we’ve agreed we’ll have to cancel our attendance,” he confirmed.

 

“At least you haven’t officially announced it to your fans yet,” Fleur chimed in.

 

“Speaking of which,” that was Marianne again, “have you thought about how and when you plan to announce this news to your audience?”

 

Phil glanced up and met Dan’s eyes across the table. The Omega returned his look with a grimace. They’d tried to start that conversation several times, but it always ended with them agreeing only to put the decision off a little longer. It wasn’t like either of them thought they could keep this a secret forever. People were going to find out one way or another. The issue was deciding how much to tell and how much to keep to themselves. Dan had always been more casual about sharing his private thoughts and feelings with the world, a prospect Phil found rather terrifying. And yet, oddly enough, this time it was Dan who was in favor of keeping their audience in the dark about most of the details while Phil liked the idea of giving regular updates, maybe even vlogging some of it. If people were going to know anyway, why not share with them just how exciting and wonderful it all was?

 

Any time the discussion came up, Phil had a disorienting sense of déjà vu. How many times had they had that exact same argument back when they were dating, only in reverse? 

 

But a baby wasn’t like a romantic relationship. They couldn’t avoid the issue by just deciding to call the whole thing off.

 

“You’ll have to make it public before November,” Fleur spoke up then, “Too many public appearances throughout the month to keep it a secret.”

 

He watched Dan close his eyes and draw in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. He could easily guess what must be going through Dan’s mind — all of the same worries and hesitations and fears that were in his.

 

“We’ll come up with a plan,” Phil said after a moment, trying to sound decisive.

 

“Let us know if there’s any way we can help,” came Marianne’s voice again.

 

“Yes, we’re here to support you with anything you need,” Fleur’s voice agreed.

 

“Thank you,” Dan spoke up at last. “That means a lot to us.”

 

When they’d said their good-byes and ended the call, they both leaned back in their chairs and shared a silent look.

 

“We have a month and a half to think about it,” Dan said after a moment. “I… I want to keep this just for us…for as long as we can.”

 

Phil nodded. He could understand that sentiment, at least. Sharing this news with their families and Marianne and Fleur was one thing, but the moment they shared it with the wider world? There would be all kinds of discussion, speculation, theories, opinions — it was nothing they hadn’t dealt with before, nothing they couldn’t handle, but he knew exactly what Dan meant. They needed breathing space, and time. They needed to come to terms with this themselves first, figure out what it meant for them, as individuals and as Dan and Phil. 

 

“All right,” Phil finally said, and he gave Dan a nod that he hoped looked firm and resolute. “We’ll keep it secret for as long as we can.”

 

**

 

House hunting had turned out to be much more difficult than Phil had expected. London was huge, he’d reasoned, and probably full of hundreds of houses that fit what they were looking for. Surely they’d be able to come across one of them in no time!

 

What he hadn’t counted on was the fact that London was freaking massive and contained millions of homes and that sifting through the seemingly endless list of options was an overwhelming task.

 

Still, with their realtor’s help, they were able to tour several good options each week until they’d finally found a house they both agreed was worth buying.

 

Unfortunately, by the time they put their bid in, the sellers had already accepted someone else’s offer.

 

“Nooo,” Phil groaned when Dan relayed what the realtor had said. “You mean we have to go through all of that _again_?”

 

“I know,” Dan sighed, tossing his mobile down on the sofa next to Phil and then rubbing his hands over his face. “I think if I have to tour another house, I’m going to barf.”

 

“You sure that’s not the morning sickness?” Phil asked, raising his eyebrows.

 

Dan snorted and dropped his hands.

 

“No, I think that’s pretty much done with, thank god.”

 

Phil thought back and realized it had been several days since he’d last heard Dan emptying the contents of his stomach into their toilet.

 

“I’m glad,” Phil said. “It seemed like a pretty miserable thing to go through.”

 

“You have no idea,” Dan muttered, falling onto the sofa cushion beside him and then leaping up again at once. “Fuck, did I break it?” he yelled, grabbing at his cell phone. Then he breathed a sigh of relief. “No, it’s fine.”

 

“Sit down,” Phil said, reaching up and tugging at his arm. “You’ve been running around the flat all day. Take a rest.”

 

The Omega really had been up and about a lot today, more so than normal. He’d woken at 8:00, far earlier than he usually did, though that was probably because he’d started going to bed far earlier too. Phil supposed it was better for the baby for Dan to keep a healthy sleep schedule. But he’d used his extra time to clean their entire kitchen and bathroom and then left for a couple of hours to run some errands. He didn’t look particularly exhausted, but Phil couldn’t help being anxious.

 

“I’m fine,” Dan said, sitting down anyway. “Now that the morning sickness has passed, it feels like I’ve gotten this sudden burst of energy.”

 

“That’s good,” Phil said cautiously, “but don’t overdo it.”

 

Dan nestled himself into the back of the sofa, settling into the familiar crease he’d worn there.

 

“I think you’re forgetting that just a few weeks ago, I was performing on stage every other night and traveling for long hours in between,” he pointed out with a wry look at his roommate. “I think I’ll be fine.”

 

“I wasn’t forgetting that,” Phil defended himself, “but, it’s just, now that you _know_ you’ve got a baby in there to worry about too—“

 

“ _Phil_ ,” Dan rolled his eyes. “If you’re really that worried, everything I’ve read says it’s safe to maintain the same level of activity you had before you were pregnant unless you’re, like, a professional athlete or something.”

 

“Okay,” Phil gave in at last. He knew Dan could take care of himself. There was just some sort of instinct inside of him telling him he needed to protect him and keep him safe now. His book had told him this was a normal feeling for a non-bearing parent. He sighed. It had also said he should be careful not to be too overbearing.

 

“I called my mums this morning,” Dan said suddenly, letting out a sigh that was more like a groan. “They weren’t pleased.”

 

Phil winced in sympathy. After a long discussion about the matter, the two of them had come to the agreement that it would be best for Dan to inform his mothers about the happy event over the phone. While Phil’s parents’ reaction had been encouraging, neither of them harbored any delusions that Dan’s parents would be as thrilled.

 

For one thing, they’d never really accepted Phil as Dan’s partner, back when the two of them were still dating. While they’d never been outright rude to him, they’d always maintained a certain coldness that clearly communicated their lack of interest in him. They’d wanted Dan to find himself an Alpha instead. They’d warmed to him a bit more in the years since the two of them had broken up, mainly because they no longer saw him as a threat to their little boy’s future happiness.

 

He and Dan both knew that the détente would come to a crashing halt the moment they learned that Phil had gotten their Omega son pregnant.

 

“What did they say?” Phil asked, not sure he really wanted to know.

 

“Jesus,” Dan said, shaking his head. “First, my Alpha Mum demanded that I move home so that they could look after me properly. When I told her that I’m 25 and can take care of myself, she demanded to know if you were going to marry me and ‘take responsibility.’”

 

Phil’s throat convulsed as he tried to swallow.

 

“Um, what did you say to that?”

 

Dan turned his head to the side to look at Phil. There was a smile tugging at his lips.

 

“I told her that you were already taking responsibility,” he said. “That you’d agreed to help me raise the baby and even gone to my first ultrasound with me.” He shrugged. “She seemed a bit appeased by that, though she still insisted that it would be best for us to get married.”

 

Phil nibbled at his lip.

 

“Do you think it would be?” he asked after a moment.

 

Dan’s eyebrows shot up.

 

“No?” he said, sounding confused. “I’m not particularly interested in being married to anyone, at least not just yet, and you don’t want to be married to me. I don’t see how that could be for the best for anyone.”

 

Phil’s body relaxed again.

 

“Okay, yeah. You’re right. Did your Omega mum have anything to say?”

 

The Omega rolled his eyes up toward the ceiling and let out a long-suffering sigh.

 

“She cried a lot,” he muttered. “One minute she’d be scolding me for ruining my future and then the next sobbing over how she was going to be a grandmother. I think she was mostly happy, but it was impossible to tell.”

 

Phil chuckled a little. He was very familiar with Omega Howell’s outbursts, just as familiar as he was with Alpha Howell’s.

 

“At least it’s done now,” Phil said, stretching out a hand and patting Dan’s arm. “Did you get a chance to tell your brother?”

 

The Omega’s face fell, his gaze dropping down to his knees.

 

“Nah,” he said. “I asked to speak to him, but my mums said he was busy. I think he just didn’t want to talk to me.”

 

Phil squeezed Dan’s arm, hoping he would find that reassuring. He knew he didn’t have the best relationship with his younger Alpha Brother, and that was something that made him sad a lot.

 

“Hey,” Phil said, wanting to distract him. “Have you thought at all about what my mum said? About finding out the sex of the baby?”

 

“A little, yeah,” Dan said, turning to look at Phil again. Phil could see he was trying to hide how upset he was. Anyone but Phil might have actually been fooled. “I think it would be nice to know.”

 

“Me too,” Phil agreed, plastering on a big grin. “Also, I’m too impatient to wait another five and a half months to find out.”

 

Dan’s lips turned up just a bit in an answering smile.

 

“I swear, sometimes you’re just like a little kid,” he teased. Then his expression brightened up a bit. “You know, I was doing some reading, and I found out that when the parents are a Beta male and an Omega male, there’s an equal chance the baby could be a Beta female, an Omega male, a Beta male, or an Alpha male.”

 

Phil’s mouth shaped into a little “oh” in response, though inwardly he was sighing with relief that Dan seemed to be perking up.

 

He could hazily remember studying the genetics of sex and designation in his high school biology class, but that had been aeons ago. An image flashed into his mind of a sheet of paper with rows of squares full of Xs and Ys and Os.

 

“So,” he said, squinting his eyes as he tried to recall those distant lessons, “we can’t have an Alpha female or an Omega female, right?”

 

“Yep,” Dan agreed. “So there’s a 75% chance we’ll have a boy and a 50% chance it’ll be a Beta of either sex.”

 

“When did you get so good at maths?” Phil said, and Dan stuck out his tongue at him in retaliation.

 

“It’s not particularly complicated maths,” he muttered. “I’m sure even you could calculate it.”

 

“Hey!” Phil protested, shoving into Dan a bit with his shoulder, “I’ll have you know I got very high marks in maths.”

 

“What about names?” Dan said all of a sudden. His face took on a slightly sheepish look, “I, um, I may have ordered us a couple of baby name books…”

 

“Of course you did,” Phil sighed, though he was still grinning. “As long as you don’t demand we name it, like, Conchobar or something—“

 

“I still think it’s a cool name,” Dan said, “but fine. We can name it something _normal_ and _boring_ if you really want…”

 

Phil rolled his eyes and stood up from the sofa.

 

“Let’s see what your baby name books have got.”

 

They spent the next several hours lying on Dan’s bed side by side flipping through the books and pointing out weird names to each other. They did actually come across a couple that they liked, so Dan got a notepad and pen from his desk, and they started an Official Potential Baby Names list.

 

Darkness had fallen by the time Dan tossed his book down beside his bed and flopped over onto his back, flinging one arm over his eyes.

 

“Okay,” he mumbled, “I can’t read a single name more.”

 

Phil shot him a smile and then set his own book on the nightstand. He was lying on his stomach, propped up on his elbows, which gave him a good view of his roommate’s partially-obscured face.

 

“Almost ready for some dinner?” he asked.

 

“Mm,” Dan hummed noncommittally, “I think I’d rather just lie here for a bit first.”

 

“Okay,” Phil said, flipping onto his side and resting his head on one hand. He wasn’t surprised that Dan felt so tired now, after all of his earlier activity.

 

It wasn’t until several minutes of companionable silence had passed that he realized Dan was drifting off to sleep while he was just lying there and watching him. It was weird how this didn’t feel weird at all. He caught a sign of movement out of the corner of his eye and turned his head to see Dan’s left hand covering his abdomen, rubbing very slowly back and forth over the tiny bump there.

 

He hadn’t really started to show yet. Their books said that during a first pregnancy, most people began to show sometime in the second trimester. Dan was entering the twelfth week of his pregnancy now, and while he claimed he could see a difference, Phil privately thought it looked like the same little belly bulge he’d always had.

 

He found he couldn’t rip his eyes from it, though, and from the way Dan’s hand cupped it, so tenderly. He thought back, as he had a hundred times already, to the fuzzy image they’d seen on the screen at the doctor’s office with the little, round head and the tiny heart beat.

 

He’d read that the baby’s heart had started beating during the fourth week after conception. An entire month before either he or Dan had known that their baby was in there, its heart had already started beating. He thought about his own heart, and Dan’s, how they had both been beating since one month after they were conceived too, continuously, without ever taking a single break, and how they would go on beating until the days of their deaths.

 

It was so crazy to think about the fact that, unintentionally, he and Dan had created something so powerful. Between the two of them, they’d managed to start a heart beating that would go on beating for decades to come. It was terrifying, when he thought of it, how carelessly they’d done something so monumental.

 

Without thinking, he stretched his hand out and placed it on top of Dan’s, over the tiny mound of flesh that separated their hands from that microscopic beating heart.

 

The Omega stirred, and Phil realized he must have woken him. He didn’t move his hand, though. 

 

“I wonder what they’re going to be like,” he murmured, his eyes fixed on their two hands.

 

“Considering who their dads are, they’re probably going to be tall, nerdy, and awkward,” he heard Dan say in a sleepy voice. “Sorry, kid. You didn’t exactly win the genetic lottery here.”

 

Phil breathed out a soft laugh.

 

“What if they’re short and like, super cool and always the center of attention at parties?”

 

“Then you’ll probably wonder if I got abducted and impregnated by aliens,” Dan said, laughing a little, “but I suppose we’ll love them anyway.”

 

“Yeah,” Phil agreed. He wasn’t sure how that had happened, how he had managed to love this person with his whole heart when he hadn’t even met them yet. “It’s kind of scary, if I think about it too much,” he whispered. “I love them so much. I want to give them everything, but what if I can’t? What if I end up being a terrible father?”

 

Dan’s hand wriggled out from under his and slid on top of it, wrapping Phil’s hand in soft warmth.

 

“Phil,” he murmured, “look at me.”

 

With a reluctant sigh, Phil turned away and looked at the Omega’s face. There was a strange intensity in his dark eyes, an expression that made Phil both shiver and feel warm all over.

 

“You’re going to make mistakes,” Dan said. “I’m going to make mistakes. Probably a lot of them. That’s just how people are. But it won’t be the end of the world. We’ll apologize, okay? We’ll realize our mistakes and apologize and then do better the next time. You’re going to be a great father, Phil. I’ve known that since I met you.”

 

Phil found that he was breathing hard and that there was a lump in his throat. It hurt, kind of, to imagine the eighteen-year-old Dan he’d first met thinking he would make a good father. It felt brilliant as well. Dan was, perhaps, the most important person in his entire life. His opinion mattered more than almost anyone else’s. Or — if he was honest with himself — it mattered more than anyone else’s, full stop.

 

“Thank you,” he whispered. “I think you’re going to be a great father too.”

 

The smile that dawned on Dan’s face matched the burst of sunshine inside Phil’s heart. He felt a sudden urge to do something, anything that would show Dan just how happy he was making him. Throw his arms around him and kiss him until they were both dizzy, maybe. Or buy him something expensive by some ultra-famous designer Phil had never heard of. He wished there were anything in the world that might mean as much to Dan as it meant to Phil that he was having his baby.

 

“Phil,” Dan’s voice cut across his thoughts, and he looked over at the Omega, whose face now wore a tiny frown.

 

“What is it?” he asked.

 

“I’m _hungry_ ,” Dan whined. “Will you make me dinner?”

 

Phil let out a snort of laughter.

 

“All right,” he said, sitting up and shaking his head. At least it was a start.


	5. Hand on the Scales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some shit hits the fan...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter on Sunday! :D

Somewhere far away, there was a very annoying noise. A ringing noise. Something ringing. Dan thought vaguely that someone should make the ringing stop before it woke him up. But the ringing kept on going, and Dan woke up a little more, enough that he could feel the frown his face was making.

 

_The door_ , he thought finally. _Someone’s at the door._

 

Maybe if he just ignored it they would go away. He began to relax, letting himself drift back into sleep, when he was jolted right awake again.

 

“Dan!” Phil’s voice yelled from mere inches away, “It’s your turn to get it!”

 

“Holy—“ Dan barked, wrenching upright and glaring over at the Beta lying beside him. He was about to protest further when it occurred to him that Phil was in his bed. His frown deepened. He was almost positive that Phil hadn’t been there when he’d fallen asleep last night.

 

Phil’s eyes popped open then, going wide as they stared up at Dan.

 

“Dan?” he mumbled. “Why aren’t you in your own room?”

 

The Omega snorted.

 

“I am in my own room, you dolt. You just happen to be here too.”

 

Phil’s brow wrinkled up as he thought that over. His eyes trailed down to the bedspread he had wrapped around him, with its distinctive grey and white checked pattern.

 

“Huh,” he said, then gave a little shrug and looked back up at Dan. “Still your turn to get the door.”

 

Dan huffed out a sigh and rolled his eyes, but Phil was technically right. They’d been getting lots of early morning deliveries, what with all the stuff Dan had ordered online over the past few weeks. Since neither of them particularly wanted to be the one to have to get the door at arse o’clock in the morning, they’d decided to take turns. And in the interest of fairness, he had to admit that Phil had been the one to get the last delivery.

 

He flung off the covers and stumbled out of bed. There was a chill in the air now that September was ending and October just around the corner, and he cursed himself under his breath for not putting on socks first.

 

Preoccupied by the sting of cold flooring under his bare feet, he didn’t think to wonder why this particular delivery person was ringing their flat so insistently until he’d flung open the door to confront them about it.

 

He found there, instead of a manic Amazon delivery person, his Alpha Mum with a stormy expression on her face and one finger jabbed into the button for their flat. A short distance behind her stood his Omega mum, her hands wringing one another as she glanced anxiously between her wife and her son.

 

“Finally,” Alpha Howell huffed and dropped her finger from the button. “Well, let us in then,” she continued, waving her hand to indicate that Dan should step aside.

 

Dan was on the verge of obeying — he hated that, how often he just obeyed his Alpha Mum without even getting to think about it — when it occurred to him how strange this all was.

 

“Mum,” he intoned, favoring her with a puzzled frown, “it’s barely gone 7:00 in the morning. What are you doing here?”

 

“I’ve got to be at work by 9:00, haven’t I?” she scoffed with a toss of her hair. “And I’m here because apparently your life needs sorting out.”

 

Dan’s jaw all but fell open at that. Several retorts sprang to his lips, competing with one another to be the first out. Then he remembered that they were stood practically out on the street where anyone — including any one of the several fans who chose to stalk their flat — could hear them.

 

He yanked the door open wider and stepped back.

 

“You’d better come in, then,” he muttered.

 

Alpha Howell didn’t hesitate to comply, though his Omega mum took a moment longer to follow. He guessed that she had tried to talk her Alpha out of doing this. She’d always done her best to talk her spouse out of her more hot-headed starts.

 

Dan let his mums go first, wishing there were some way to warn Phil to stay hidden back in the bedroom.

 

Instead, when his Alpha Mum pulled open the door to their flat, he heard Phil’s voice quite distinctly.

 

“Who was it, Da— Oh. Hello, Alpha Howell.”

 

Dan held in a sigh.

 

“Good morning, Philip,” he heard his Alpha Mum reply in a voice that was a little too close to a growl.

 

Dan made it through the door in time to see Phil exchanging a wary nod of greeting with his Omega mum as his Alpha Mum breezed past the Beta and up the stairs to their lounge. He shot Dan a panicked look, which Dan could only return an apologetic shrug to. 

 

“Offer them drinks and then disappear into the kitchen,” he suggested in a muffled whisper as he passed Phil on his way up the stairs behind his mums.

 

“I’m not abandoning you to the wolves,” Phil muttered back, following quickly behind him.

 

“They’re my family. I can handle them.”

 

He heard Phil sigh behind him, but the Beta didn’t make any further protests.

 

A few moments later, Dan found himself stood alone in the center of his own lounge where his mums had settled themselves on his sofa, Phil having escaped to the kitchen to dawdle through making the slowest cups of tea imaginable.

 

He saw his Alpha Mum open her mouth to start in again, but there was no way in hell he was going to let her take charge of this particular conversation.

 

“I’ve got a home, a successful career, plenty of money saved away. I’m not involved in any illegal activity, and I’ve been following all the doctor’s instructions. My life is perfectly under control,” he said, crossing his arms and raising his chin to stare his mum down.

 

She narrowed her eyes at him. She was a tall, powerfully built Alpha. Dan was pretty sure she was the one he’d gotten his height from. He was rather thankful that she chose to stay seated for now.

 

“You’re a pregnant Omega without a spouse to properly look after you and your child,” she countered.

 

“I am an adult, Mum, fully capable of caring for myself and my child,” Dan said, rolling his eyes. “And besides, Phil has agreed to help me raise the baby. We’ve already discussed this.”

 

“‘Agreed to,’” she repeated, making air quotes around the words. “Where’s the commitment in that? If he isn’t even willing to commit to marriage, how can you be sure he won’t skip out on you and the baby the moment things start to get difficult?”

 

There was so much wrong with that, Dan found himself entirely bereft of speech. First of all, he suspected Phil would gladly marry him, if he told him it was what he thought was best for the baby. Dan was the one who was against them marrying, not Phil, and the idea that Phil would abandon Dan, abandon his own child? Ever? For any reason? That was ludicrous! And, more salient than any of those arguments—

 

“What Phil and I decide is best for us and our child is between us,” he said, hugging his arms more tightly to his chest. “I know you mean well, Mum, but it’s for us to decide, not you.”

 

“You’re twenty-five, Dan,” she growled, rising to her feet at last. Dan’s heart skipped a beat at the sight and scent of an angry Alpha towering over him, but he stood his ground. “I’m sure you think you know everything there is to know about life, but you’re barely an adult—“

 

“I’ve been living on my own since I was nineteen,” Dan pointed out, feeling his own anger rising. 

 

“No, you haven’t,” she scoffed, making a face as though what he were saying was ridiculous. “You’ve been living with Phil since you were nineteen. You’ve never had to take care of yourself a day in your life.”

 

Dan’s mouth gaped open. Okay, so. So maybe she had something of a point there. So maybe Phil had had to teach him basic life skills like cooking and doing laundry without staining all of his pants pink, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t perfectly capable of doing those things on his own _now_.

 

“For chrissakes, Mum, I’m not a baby,” he spluttered, flinging his arms wide. “Yeah, it would be a lot more difficult to manage without Phil here to help out, but I’m not completely helpless. And did you miss the part where I pointed out I’ve got plenty of money? I could hire someone to help me, if I absolutely needed it. So where you get off trying to paint me as some frail Omega too delicate for the world—“

 

“But think about your child’s needs, Dan,” she cut him off then, waving her hands in the air. “How will they feel growing up with a single Omega parent? What about when they go to school and all the other kids make fun of them for not having an Alpha at home? Children need a strong role model at home, someone to teach them how to live, someone to protect them and provide for their needs. Don’t you want your child to have that?”

 

Dan’s anger was nearly at the boiling point. His arms and legs were shaking with it, and it took an effort to keep his voice from shaking as well.

 

“My child is going to have two loving fathers to protect and teach and provide for them. I don’t know why you think that Phil and I can’t be enough for our own child, but we are and we will be.”

 

When she opened her mouth to respond, her brows still lowered in a thunderous expression, Dan decided that he’d had enough.

 

“I think you should leave.” His voice was definitely shaking now.

 

Her expression snapped at once into an angry sneer.

 

“Don’t think you can order me where to go,” she snarled.

 

“This is my home, and I am politely asking you to leave it,” Dan replied, balling his hands into fists at his sides to try to still their trembling. One of the worst parts of being an Omega, he thought, was how much sheer will it took for him to stand up to his Alpha parent. Whether through conditioning or simple instinct, all he wanted to do right now was back down, cower and cringe in apology, appease the Alpha’s anger.

 

But hell if he was going to do that, not when every cell in his body was alive with the conviction that he was was right and she was wrong.

 

His Omega mum chose that moment to finally join the fray. Rising swiftly from the sofa, she placed a hand on her Wife’s arm, gently drawing her attention away from their son.

 

“Jay,” she murmured, “I don’t think we’re going to get anywhere else with him today, and it’s getting late anyway. Perhaps it _is_ best to go and save the rest of this conversation for later.”

 

He could see his Alpha Mum considering that. She darted a look back over at him where he stood, back straight, fists and teeth clenched, trembling but unyielding. He thought she was on the verge of saying something else to him, but just then he saw movement out of the corner of his eye, and then Phil was beside him, a solid, reassuring presence.

 

He saw his Alpha Mum’s expression darken even further, but his Omega mum gave an insistent little tug on her arm.

 

“All right, all right,” Alpha Howell snapped, yanking her arm from her wife’s grasp. “I’ve got to get to work soon anyway.” She shot a glare at Phil and then another, more troubled one at Dan. “This isn’t over,” she huffed and then stalked from the room.

 

Omega Howell gave them both a look of pained apology and then scurried after her Alpha. He and Phil stood in complete silence until they’d heard first one door and then a second, more distant one slam.

 

Dan slowly drew in and then let out a long, shaky breath.

 

“Are you okay?” Phil’s voice finally broke the stillness that had fallen over the lounge.

 

Dan shut his eyes and drew another breath.

 

“I’m so sorry,” he muttered. “God, I can’t believe she would dare come into our home and…just say those kinds of things about you…and me! I’m so sorry.”

 

“I wouldn’t, you know,” he heard Phil say, so he opened his eyes and turned to look at him. The Beta was staring at the opposite wall, a strange look on his face. “I wouldn’t do that to you, or our baby.”

 

“I know,” Dan said at once, reaching over to take hold of his best friend’s hand.

 

“Even if I married someone else,” Phil continued, giving Dan’s fingers a slight squeeze. “Even if I moved out or something, I would never just…you know, disappear.”

 

“I know you wouldn’t,” Dan repeated.

 

“You’re important to me, Dan,” Phil pressed on, turning to look at the Omega at last, his eyes filled with earnestness that almost broke Dan’s heart. The fact that Phil needed to defend himself against such accusations, the fact that such accusations had been made against him at all, when all he’d done for the past seven years was stick by Dan’s side through thick and thin— “Being a good father to our kid and making sure they have the best life I can give them is important to me.”

 

Dan nodded.

 

“I know that,” he said again. “I know you meant it when you said you were in this with me. And I’m so glad it’s you. I don’t think—“ He paused, the truth of the words stunning him as they reached the tip of his tongue. “I don’t think there’s anyone else in the world I would want to go through all of this with.”

 

Phil ducked his head, giving Dan’s fingers another squeeze.

 

“Thank you,” he said. Then he looked up again, forcing his smile into a grin. “Now how about I make us a huge batch of syrupy, unhealthy pancakes for breakfast?”

 

Dan shook his head, but he couldn’t help but laugh at that. Leave it to Phil to try to solve every problem with sugar.

 

They were seated on the sofa a while later, basking in the weak morning sunlight, both sleepy from the early wakeup call and their full bellies, when a memory stirred in Dan’s mind. He tilted his head to the side just enough to bring Phil into his field of vision. The Beta made a similar shift, gazing over at him with half-lidded eyes.

 

“You were in my bed this morning.”

 

Phil’s eyes opened a little wider.

 

“Oh,” he murmured. “Yeah.”

 

Dan raised his eyebrows a bit and gave a nod for Phil to continue. Soft pink rose into the Beta’s cheeks.

 

“I, uh…had a bad dream,” he said in a rush, his eyes darting away from Dan’s intent gaze.

 

Dan’s eyebrows shot up even higher.

 

“You had a bad dream?”

 

“I mean,” Phil spluttered, his head jerking away and down so that he was now staring at his knees. “Not like— It wasn’t that kind of…like. I had a dream that something bad happened to you and the baby.”

 

Dan’s eyebrows lowered again, and he felt his heart give a tiny tug.

 

“Phil—“

 

“It was just a stupid dream, but I just needed to check you were okay, and I guess I was still sleepy and, anyway, I wanted to, uh, stay…just in case… I’m sorry, Dan. This must sound so weird.”

 

He darted another glance over at the Omega, but Dan just shook his head.

 

“It’s not weird,” he said in a firm tone. “We’ve shared a bed loads of times before.”

 

“I know,” Phil said, looking a little miserable. “It’s just, I did it without your permission. I don’t want to, you know, presume that just because… I mean, that is…” His face crumpled up into a puzzled expression. Dan waited for him to gather his thoughts. Finally, the Beta looked up and met Dan’s eyes again. “I know we aren’t a couple, that we’ve agreed that’s not what we want. I don’t want you to think that I’m, like, secretly trying to pressure you into a relationship…if you understand what I mean?”

 

That made Dan frown. Was that what he had thought when he’d realized Phil had climbed into bed with him at some point in the night? If he was quite honest, his first thought had been that Phil must have sleep-walked, as he’d done on one or two occasions in the past. It hadn’t even occurred to him that he might have slipped into Dan’s bed with some ulterior motive in mind.

 

“I understand,” Dan said slowly, “and I didn’t think that’s what you were doing.” He paused, processing what Phil was trying to say. “But…I mean, I know you want to be married someday, Phil. I’m not, you know, opposed to the concept of marriage in general. It’s just, I mean, my mums only got married because my Omega mum got pregnant with me, and look how that turned out for them, you know?”

 

“No, yeah, I get it,” Phil rushed to assure him. “There are hundreds of terrible reasons to get married. I don’t want to marry someone until I’ve got the right reasons.”

 

“Okay,” Dan nodded, studying the Beta’s earnest expression. “Just to be clear, I’m not interested in being married to you, and I don’t really see myself ever being interested in that.”

 

“Right,” Phil agreed with a decisive nod, “which is why I have zero interest in asking you to marry me. But no matter what your Alpha Mother says, that in no way means that I’m not committed to both you and our child.”

 

“Of course not,” Dan said. “But also, the fact that we don’t want to get married doesn’t mean that we can’t sleep in the same bed or have sex or have a baby together or do whatever the fuck we mutually agree we want to do. Okay?”

 

He watched a grin blossom on his best friend’s lips.

 

“So you’re really not bothered by last night?”

 

Dan returned his grin and then shook his head.

 

“The pregnancy books all say it’s normal for you to feel extra protective right now.” He shrugged. “If it makes you feel better to sleep next to me, that’s fine.”

 

Phil’s grin softened a little.

 

“Okay,” he said.

 

“Okay,” Dan nodded. 

 

And that was that. Except…even that night when he’d slid between his sheets and Phil had slipped wordlessly into the empty space beside him, he couldn’t stop thinking about everything his Alpha Mum had said. She was wrong. He knew she was wrong. One hundred percent absolutely, positively as wrong as she could be.

 

They didn’t need a marriage or even a romantic attachment to be committed to raising their child together and giving them the best life possible. So why did her words keep echoing inside his head?

 

_I’m sure you think you know everything there is to know about life, but you’re barely an adult…_

 

He _was_ still pretty young. He knew that. Of course, lots of people had kids even younger than twenty-five, and of course Phil was older. But…what if she was right? What if he was too young still? He could read all the books he wanted, watch all the YouTube videos, sign them both up for parenting classes, but the truth was he was very inexperienced with children, especially babies. Both of them were, really. Books and classes could only go so far in preparing them for the reality of taking responsibility for another human life.

 

The thing was, though…he trusted _them_. He didn’t always trust himself to make good decisions, or Phil either, but the two of them together? They’d always made a good team, whether they were making career decisions or life decisions. He trusted them to make the right decisions together.

 

_You’ve never had to take care of yourself a day in your life!_

 

But maybe he was relying on Phil too much. Yes, Phil had as much responsibility for taking care of their child as he did, but Phil leaving someday was a real possibility. Oh, not the way that his Alpha Mum had implied, abandoning Dan and their child outright. But Phil wanted a _real_ family. He wanted someone who would fall in love and marry him and start a new life with him.

 

Phil was holding off on dating for now, but they both knew that was only temporary. Someday, he would find what he’d been looking for all these years. He would move out, settle down, have other children. He would still love their child, still help Dan raise them, but…Dan would be alone. Dan would have to live alone, take care of himself, care for their child on his own. He needed to prepare himself for that. Realistically, Phil wasn’t going to be his flatmate forever.

 

_What about when they go to school and all the other kids make fun of them for not having an Alpha at home?_

 

Dan wasn’t ashamed to be a single parent. His Mum’s ideas were old-fashioned. Maybe people of her generation and older thought that way, but people his own age were more used to non-traditional families, were less judgmental on the whole.

 

Still, she was right about kids at school at least. Kids picked up anything and everything their parents said, and there were bound to always be those few regressive people out there who filled their kids’ minds with bigoted rubbish. He remembered all too clearly what the kids at school could be like. He hated the idea of his own child being bullied, but his Mum was right that it was a possibility, maybe even a likelihood.

 

They’d have to teach their child to have a thick skin. Dan had been through all the hell public school could provide, and he’d made it out the other side. Phil had been bullied as a kid too. If they’d survived it, they could teach their kid to do the same.

 

It was dim in his room, though not perfectly dark. It never was, here in London. He rolled onto his side so that he could see the Beta lying in the bed beside him. Phil had dropped off to sleep almost immediately after mumbling his good night. They’d had a tiring day, having gone out to tour three separate houses after their early morning. By rights, Dan should have dropped off just as quickly.

 

No matter, though. The steady sound of Phil’s breathing was strangely soothing. It had been so long since he’d slept beside another person, he’d forgotten how comforting it could be. He closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. He could smell Phil’s scent, faint and familiar. Betas didn’t have the same pheromone-laden scents that Alphas and Omegas did, but Dan’s sensitive Omega nose could still pick Phil’s scent out of a crowd of thousands. 

 

He drew in another deep breath, let it out slowly, drew in another. Maybe it was wrong to rely on Phil so much when he knew it was only temporary, but there was no way he could do any of this alone. At least not now. At least not yet.

 

 

**

 

The next morning found him walking home from the corner supermarket — they’d run out of cereal yet again, and their regular grocery delivery wouldn’t be arriving for a couple more days. He was clutching the box of Shreddies to his chest while grumbling to himself about stupid Betas who ate up his cereal when a gasp and a squeal caught his attention.

 

He glanced up to find two teenagers rushing up to him, hands clasped together and eyes wide.

 

“Hello,” he said, plastering on his danisnotonfire smile.

 

“Oh my god,” one of them squeaked, a tiny Omega with long, curly hair. “I can’t believe it’s really you.”

 

The other one, a Beta with short, dyed-blue hair and thick-rimmed glasses, let out another squeal. They couldn’t be older than fourteen or fifteen. Viewers, he assumed.

 

“What are your names?” he asked, knowing from long experience that he couldn’t really expect either of them to move the conversation forward.

 

“I’m Seana,” said the Beta. “And she’s Beth.”

 

“Nice to meet you both,” Dan replied. “Do you want to get a picture?”

 

“Oh my god,” cried Beth again. “Um, thank you,” and she fumbled for her mobile.

 

She directed Seana to pose with Dan first, so he bent down and grinned for a couple of shots with the Beta. Then the Omega handed over her phone and crowded close to Dan for a picture of her own. He heard her gasp a little as he bent down close but didn’t think much of it until a moment later when Seana had finished taking their picture. He looked down at the Omega girl, prepared to wave good-bye, when he saw that her eyes had gone wide and her mouth had fallen open.

 

His whole body went rigid. She knew. He didn’t know how she knew, but she— _Shit._ _His scent._ He’d forgotten all about _his scent._ Most people couldn’t tell an Omega was pregnant through scent alone until well into the second trimester. He certainly hadn’t noticed any change in his scent yet. But the rare sharp-nosed Alpha or Omega could pick it up earlier. And it seemed he had just run into one such person.

 

“You’re—“ she whispered, raising her hands up to cover her mouth. 

 

“What’s wrong?” the Beta was asking beside her, frowning first at Beth and then over at Dan.

 

The Omega shook her head suddenly, dropping her hands again.

 

“Never mind,” she said. “Um, it’s nothing.”

 

The Beta shot him another suspicious glance and then grabbed the Omega’s hand again.

 

“It was nice meeting you, Dan,” Seana said, pulling the Omega girl away with her.

 

Beth cast him a long look over her shoulder, lower lip caught between her teeth. All Dan could do was stand frozen, staring after them. Then, suddenly, the Omega broke out of her friend’s grasp and dashed back over.

 

She stopped right in front of him, head bowed, one hand going up to tug at her curls.

 

“I won’t tell anyone, I swear,” she muttered. “Not even Seana.”

 

Dan’s mouth opened, and for a moment nothing came out.

 

“Thank you,” he finally managed to say. “I, uh, want to keep it secret for a little while longer.”

 

She turned her gaze up to his face then, brown eyes wide and solemn, and gave a quick nod.

 

“I’ll keep your secret,” she said and then turned and scurried back to the puzzled Beta’s side.

 

Dan practically ran the rest of the way back to the flat. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. How could he have been so careless? Of course he was bound to run into one of his viewers at some point. And of course if they were an Alpha or Omega there was a chance they would be able to tell he was pregnant from his scent. How could he have forgotten something so obvious? Had spending time with mostly Betas for so long really made him forget the most basic facts of Alpha-Omega dynamics?

 

He’d been so convinced that they were going to be able to keep this secret until November. Ha! It wasn’t even October yet.

 

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he muttered as he let himself into the flat. He could feel his knees wobbling as he tried to climb the stairs, so he plopped down on the second step to try to gather his thoughts.

 

His Mum had been right after all, he thought miserably as he dropped his head into his hands. He was way too young and stupid to handle any of this. _Shit_. Sure this Beth girl had promised not to tell, but how much could he really rely on her discretion? She was just a kid, after all. In all likelihood, her friend would get it out of her within the day, and then it would be all over the internet within hours.

 

_Shit_. Everyone was going to know. _Everyone_.

 

Phil found him there some forty-five minutes later, head on his knees and cereal box cradled against his chest.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

He raised his head a little at the sound of the Beta’s voice. 

 

“I ran into a viewer who was an Omega,” he mumbled.

 

There was a pause, and then he felt Phil sink down beside him.

 

“Come again?” Phil said. A hand appeared on Dan’s back, rubbing up and down. He felt the tension in his shoulders ease a bit. He hadn’t even realized how rigid his body had grown.

 

“I ran into two viewers,” he repeated, “and one of them was an Omega. She could tell…from my scent…”

 

He heard Phil’s sharp intake of breath, though the hand on his back didn’t pause.

 

“She guessed that you were pregnant?” Phil asked.

 

Dan nodded.

 

“What do I do?” he moaned, head dropping back down onto his knees. “She said she wouldn’t tell anyone, but of course she’s going to tell everyone.”

 

Phil’s hand moved up to the nape of his neck, squeezed gently and then moved down to rub his back some more.

 

“You don’t know that,” he said, voice soft. “She might keep it a secret… But, you know, we were always going to have to tell them at some point.”

 

He knew that. Really, he did. He just thought they’d have more time.

 

“I guess,” Dan mumbled. “It’s just, I wanted it to be on our terms. This is our news to share, you know?”

 

“It still can be,” Phil murmured. His hand slid down to Dan’s waist and pulled the Omega in against his side. “We’re going on tour again in November. We would have had to tell them before that anyway. Why not go ahead and tell them now?”

 

Dan considered it. He’d known, of course, that he couldn’t hide his pregnancy once they went on tour again. He wore pretty tight clothes on stage, so even his small bump would likely be obvious. And, of course, there was the matter of his scent. With meet and greets before each show full of Alpha and Omega viewers, of course there would have been no way to hide the fact that he was pregnant. 

 

But he’d wanted to wait, oh, for a variety of reasons. People had always talked about them, about the nature of their relationship, about what they meant to one another. At the beginning, they’d encouraged it, back when it was all still new and exhilarating. All that excitement had refused to be contained, spilling out into their public lives. With an inward wince, he remembered just how devastatingly they’d come to understand the folly of that: the day Phil’s video had leaked.

 

All those anonymous people online gleefully picking apart their private experiences, the things they’d never meant for anyone else but the two of them to know… Those who thought they were cute together, those who thought it was all an act (“They’re just doing it for attention. You really think an Omega would settle for a Beta? Omegas need knot lol”), those who complained that Dan had stolen Phil from some previous love interest—their actual opinions didn’t matter to Dan so much as the vile sensation of being laid out on a table with all his most sensitive parts on display for anyone to pick at.

 

For Phil it had been even worse. Phil was a goddamned fortress in some ways, with walls miles high to hide even the tiniest glimpse of his secret self from all but those he deemed worthy of letting inside. When his private video had become public gossip fodder, Phil had retreated far, far inside that fortress, shutting out even Dan from his inner sanctum. It had taken them years, really, just to rebuild the closeness they’d had before—years, and the end of their romantic relationship.

 

At least it had become easier to brush aside what people said about them as a couple when they weren’t actually a couple anymore. And over the years, Dan had become inured to much of the scrutiny. The rest, he’d just learned to cope with.

 

But _this_ … Like fuck was Dan going to let _this_ to belong to them too. As far as he was concerned, the news of his pregnancy didn’t belong to anyone but him and Phil, yet the moment it went public, it would be out of his hands. 

 

He sighed. At this point, though, the best they could hope for was to take control of how they told them. And it looked like that would have to happen _now._ Right now. This moment.

 

A sick anxiety began churning in his stomach. How could he have been so stupid?

 

“How do you think we should tell them?” he asked, leaning into Phil’s solid warmth and trying to draw comfort from it. “Make a post on our social media? A video? Release a statement through our management agency and ask for privacy?”

 

Phil was quiet for a while, probably mulling over the options. They’d been over them before, weighed the pros and cons. And hadn’t it just shocked him how much more Phil was willing to share this time around? But maybe that made sense, in a way. Phil had accepted the idea of himself as a father long ago. Dan…well, Dan had only just begun to wrap his head around the concept.

 

“Let’s wait,” Phil said suddenly.

 

That made Dan sit up straight. He whipped his head around to look at the Beta beside him.

 

“Wait? But…I mean, it’s going to leak. Someone knows, Phil, one of our viewers—“

 

“She might keep it secret,” Phil said, holding his eyes with a steady gaze. “And even if she doesn’t, people might think she’s just making it up. I mean…we don’t have to confirm it, even if she does tell everyone.”

 

Dan drew in a breath, tasting the panicked tears at the back of his throat as he did so.

 

“So…so, you think we should wait…” he repeated. “How long, though? Realistically, how much longer can we—?”

 

“Let’s wait until after the films are up,” Phil said, sounding more confident by the moment. Dan thought he could even see a small smile tugging at the corners of the Beta’s mouth. “If we made the announcement now, it would just distract from that anyway. We’ve worked too hard not to give them the best film release we possibly can.”

 

Dan nodded slowly. He couldn’t disagree with that at least. He would be damned if he would let speculation about their personal lives tarnish the release of the two films they’d poured so much of themselves into.

 

“Okay,” he said, nodding again. “Okay. We’ll wait.”

 

As he said the words, an enormous sense of relief seemed to pour through him. He slumped back over onto Phil’s shoulder, exhausted.

 

And then he felt lips brushing against his hair, just the faintest of touches. Inside his chest, his heart clenched tight. 

 

Phil was here. Phil was beside him, and Phil understood. Phil always understood. Their lives were so strange, half-lived in the public eye as they were, and it was hard for most people to understand that strangeness, but no matter how weird things got, Phil was always in this with him. He’d grown so used to the Beta’s presence beside him that sometimes he took it for granted. But the simple fact was that having Phil here had always been the one thing that made this all bearable…that made this all so worth it.

 

“Ready to go back upstairs now?” he heard the Beta’s voice murmur.

 

Dan smiled. Yeah. He was ready to go back home.


	6. Overbalanced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dust settles in a new pattern.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll need a bit more time to work on the next chapter, so it will be going up on Thursday. I appreciate everyone who has been following this fic up until now. Thank you so much!

It was just past three in the afternoon, and in the past five minutes, Phil had heard at least three muffled groans coming from the other side of his bedroom wall.

 

He’d gotten back from the eye doctor’s a couple of hours previously (how he’d managed to half claw out his own eyeball while taking out his contacts was a mystery even to himself) to find Dan holed up in his room. When Phil had tentatively knocked on the door to let his flatmate know he was home, all he’d gotten was an incoherent mumble in response.

 

He hadn’t been too worried. Sometimes he wondered if Dan was part bear, considering the amount of time he spent attempting to hibernate in the dark cave of his bedroom. Still, he’d learned over the years that on such occasions it was a good idea to check in regularly and prod Dan to take a shower or have some dinner.

 

“Can I get you anything?” he’d called through the door. “Tea? Snack? Back massage? Blowjob?”

 

“No, thank you.” The words had been barely distinguishable through the closed door, but Dan had made his wishes clear enough. Phil had decided to leave him be for now and check in again in a few hours.

 

Another sound of muted anguish drifted through the wall. Phil raised an eyebrow, closed the comic he’d been flipping through, and set it aside. Now would probably be a good time to follow through on that check.

 

He tried a firmer knock this time.

 

“Guuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh,” Dan said from somewhere on the other side of the door.

 

“Can I come in?” Phil called.

 

There was the briefest of pauses.

 

“Yeah,” came Dan’s voice again.

 

Phil found him slumped over his keyboard, arms flung out either side of the computer monitor. He could tell even from the doorway that Dan had Mail open on the computer. As he moved closer, the screen came into focus, and he could see the partially-written email Dan must have just abandoned.

 

He plopped down on the end of Dan’s bed.

 

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked.

 

Dan let out another long groan, followed by a series of faint, displeased grunts. He wrapped up the performance with a loud, belly-deep sigh and finally sat up straight.

 

“I’m trying to write a mature yet strongly-worded email to my Alpha Mum,” he grumbled.

 

“About last week?” 

 

It had been a few days now since Dan’s fight with his Mum and accidental outing to a fan. During that time, Phil had watched the Omega spend hours furiously writing scripts, editing videos, responding to work emails, and generally throwing himself head-first into his work. He’d also watched Dan end these manic sprints by crashing onto his bed and refusing to get up for several hours more. And then there were the occasions when he’d caught him obsessively checking every indirect on Twitter, every tag on tumblr, every forum thread, hell even googling every search term he could think of trying to find any sign that the Omega girl he’d run into had leaked their secret despite her promises to the contrary.

 

As far as Phil was concerned, disgruntled noises not withstanding, Dan writing an email to his Alpha Mum was progress.

 

The Omega nodded in response before pushing himself up out of his chair, walking over, and collapsing facedown on the bed beside Phil.

 

Phil adjusted his glasses so that he could more easily look down at the Omega sprawled beside him. Then he waited.

 

“I just,” Dan mumbled after a while. “She just kind of got inside my head, you know?”

 

“Mm hmm,” Phil hummed.

 

“Everything she said is just in there. It keeps playing back, and I can’t help worrying,” Dan continued, shaking his head against the duvet, which in his current position made his whole body roll gently from side to side. “What if she was right? I mean, not about you, but like, about me not being ready for this responsibility and relying too much on you? What if I get too dependent on having you around and then I can’t cope once you’re gone? And here we are planning to buy a house together and entangle our lives together even more, and maybe that’s a mistake.”

 

Phil’s hand was raised, on the verge of reaching over to pat Dan soothingly on the back. It stopped and dropped back at his side.

 

He bit his lips to hold in the argument that was threatening to burst out of him. He knew Dan when he was like this, when all of the words inside him had built up so much that he felt like he would explode if he didn’t vent them. He didn’t need Phil to argue with him right now. He just needed him to listen.

 

“But it’s not like I want to disentangle our lives,” Dan continued after a moment. “I like the way things are. And I know my Mum is mostly full of shit. So why am I even listening to her? Why am I letting her get to me? It’s ridiculous. This is my life, and no one else but me can decide what’s best for me, right?”

 

When Dan didn’t say anything else, Phil guessed that he was waiting for an affirmation.

 

“Right,” he said, more firmly than he felt because he knew the way Dan’s mind latched on to doubt and fear, how once he got started second-guessing himself it became a self-feeding cycle of questioning every choice he’d ever made. He didn’t need Phil to add to the ambiguity right now. Phil took a deep breath. “Your Mum can offer you advice all she wants, but she can’t live your life for you.”

 

“No,” Dan moaned softly into the duvet, “but sometimes I wish she could. Or someone else…anyone but me. It’s awful,” he breathed, rolling to the side and staring up at Phil, face red and creased from being mushed into the covers, eyes watery and pink-rimmed. “I keep thinking about how if I fuck up now, it’s not just my own life I’m fucking up but my kid’s as well. This poor kid is having to rely on me to make all these decision that will determine the entire course of their life.”

 

Phil couldn’t stop himself frowning at that. Was this really the same Dan who just a couple of weeks ago was reassuring him that it was okay to make mistakes, that they’d find a way to get past them and move on? He’d never say it out loud, but sometimes he flat out hated Dan’s Alpha Mother. Reflecting on it now, maybe it wasn’t so surprising Dan was terrified of messing up their child, considering the number his own parents had done on him.

 

Phil let his frown settle into a look of determination.

 

“We make decisions, Dan,” he said, raising his hand again and letting it come to rest on the Omega’s shoulder. “That’s just life. We do what we feel is best and then we deal with the consequences.” He searched Dan’s face for a moment. “You still want to go through with this, right? You aren’t…” His voice caught in his throat as the thought struck him. “You aren’t changing your mind about— about having the baby?”

 

The Omega’s eyes flared wide.

 

“No, no, of course not.” He sat straight up, knocking Phil’s hand loose in the process. “I still—“ Dan paused, straightening his shoulders and drawing several deep breaths to steady his breathing. “I wouldn’t give our baby up for the world, Phil,” he said, looking the Beta directly in the eye. “I just… I want to get this right, you know? From the beginning.”

 

Phil narrowed his eyes, turning the Omega’s words over in his mind. 

 

“So, what does that mean to you then?” he asked slowly. “Getting this right, I mean. Have you really changed your mind about buying a house together?”

 

He watched as Dan’s eyes skittered away from his, followed their gaze as it settled on the pillows at the far end of the bed.

 

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Maybe we were rushing into it without thinking it through all the way. What would we do if one of us met someone else and wanted to move out? Owning a house together would only make things more complicated. I do think it’s a good idea to move somewhere else. I really can’t see us trying to raise a baby in this place. But…maybe we should keep renting, for now at least?” He glanced back over at Phil for a moment, eyes sweeping over the Beta’s face before darting off again.

 

Phil had to wrench his gaze away from the Omega’s face. He found that his heart was pounding in the back of his throat in a sickening sort of way. It wasn’t like what Dan was saying was unreasonable. It made a lot of sense, really. Buying a home together was something people did when they were signing on for a lifetime commitment. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea for them, not when one or the other of them was going to leave eventually.

 

Because that’s what this all really boiled down to. “Entangled” was exactly the right word to describe the two of them right now. Over the past seven years, Phil had built his entire life around Dan, and vice versa. There wasn’t a single part of Phil’s life that Dan wasn’t, at least in some small way, a part of — his career, his home, his vacations, hell, if he was honest, the list even included his plans for the future. Wasn’t that why he’d decided this whole having a child together thing was going to work in the first place? Because he was planning for Dan to always be there, and to always be there for Dan?

 

A memory suddenly sprang to his mind, of the messy end of his last serious relationship, with a Beta named Jonathan. It had been…nearly two years ago now. _Shit_ , had it really been that long since he’d seriously dated anyone?

 

They’d been together for more than a year, and Jonathan had never entirely warmed to Dan or his presence in Phil’s life. For most of their relationship, though, his hostility hadn’t been overt. He’d occasionally make subtle comments — _“You posted a video with Dan again? I thought it was your channel”_ or _“Let’s hang out at my place instead, where it’ll be just the two of us”_ — but nothing that made him sound outright _jealous_. And Phil knew it must seem odd, him living with an ex. He had been eager to prove that Jonathan had nothing to worry about, so he’d shoved any doubts aside and gone along with it.

 

That hadn’t been enough for his boyfriend, though. It had all ended in a big, screaming fight over Phil suggesting they invite Dan out to see a movie with them one evening, and every jealous thought that poor Jonathan had let stew inside him had come spewing out straight on top of Phil’s head.

 

_“You’re never going to find love until you learn to let go of Dan.”_

 

That’s what Jonathan had whispered in a voice choked with tears when he’d finally screamed all his anger out. And Phil’s response had been to break up with him. How could he not, when given an ultimatum like that? Maybe he and Dan were unusually close for ex-boyfriends, but it wasn’t like Phil was cheating on Jonathan. He didn’t even _have_ those kinds of feelings for Dan, not anymore.

 

He’d gotten over the breakup by convincing himself that Jonathan was just the jealous type…and by engaging in several therapeutic sessions of revenge sex with a very willing Dan. Not that he’d ever told Jonathan about the revenge sex. He wasn’t that cruel.

 

He’d dismissed Jonathan’s words and buried them under an ocean of vehement denials only to have them wriggle their way back to the surface now.

 

How many people had he dated since then? How many promising beginnings to relationships that had mysteriously gone nowhere? He’d almost lost count by now.

 

Holy hell, maybe Jonathan had been right. If he stepped back and tried to view his decisions from a purely dispassionate stance, couldn’t it seem as though he’d been putting his whole life on hold for the sake of staying by Dan’s side? He’d known all his life that he wanted to settle down, marry, and start a family. Here he was at nearly thirty having made zero progress toward either of the first two and having only stumbled into the third by accident.

 

Considering it now in this new, harsh light, it was almost laughable for Dan to fear that he was in any danger of being abandoned by Phil, not when Phil had unwittingly made Dan his whole world.

 

_You’re never going to find love…_

 

Phil’s stomach clenched. Dan had claimed he didn’t want to disentangle their lives, but maybe disentanglement was exactly what Phil needed. 

 

Except—

 

Almost as though drawn by a magnet, Phil’s eyes turned back toward Dan and focused on that tiny bulge pushing out the hem of his t-shirt. Maybe disentangling his life from Dan’s _would_ be best for Phil in some regards, but as of three weeks ago, his own needs were no longer at the top of his priority list.

 

He blew out a long breath between his lips and shook his head, trying to clear it. He needed time to think this through, so maybe, yeah, buying a house with Dan right now would be rushing into things too fast.

 

Slowly, he nodded his agreement.

 

“Okay,” he finally said. “Let’s…do that. I’ll call the agent in the morning and tell him we want to look at rentals instead.”

 

Dan didn’t look back at him, just kept his head turned away and nodded too.

 

“Okay,” he agreed.

 

 

**

 

 

The first thing Phil did once he’d shut Dan’s door behind him again was to go upstairs, close himself up in the gaming room, and call his mum. The gaming room up on the fourth floor was the one place in the flat where he could be reasonably certain that, if he kept his voice down, Dan wouldn’t have to overhear the conversation.

 

He stared over at the desk where their gaming computer sat while he listened to the ringtone. There was a can of Caffeine-free Diet Coke sitting open beside the keyboard. Phil could almost see Dan slouched in the chair, one hand wrapped around the can while the other mashed mercilessly at the WASD keys.

 

His mum picked up on the fourth ring.

 

“Child,” she exclaimed in that tone that always let him know how happy she was to be hearing from him.

 

“Mum,” he said and then stopped. Everything felt so off kilter at the moment that he didn’t even know where to begin.

 

“What’s wrong?” she asked when the silence had stretched on for too long. Her tone had grown far more serious.

 

“Do you think Jonathan was right to be jealous of me and Dan’s relationship?” he blurted out all of a sudden.

 

“Jonathan?” she repeated, sounding puzzled. Then after a beat, “Oh, that dark-haired boy you dated years ago? Let me see. I think I remember him.”

 

Phil rolled his eyes, confident in the knowledge that his mother couldn’t see him doing it. They’d only broken up in early 2014, and it had been a pretty serious thing. It wasn’t like he’d had many other relationships since then that had been worth telling his mum about.

 

“He’s the one who broke up with you because you always wanted to invite Dan along on your dates, right?” his mum’s voice broke across his thoughts.

 

“Mu-um,” he complained. “It was, like, twice and it wasn’t anything romantic, just going to the movies and stuff like that. And anyway, I was the one who broke up with _him_.”

 

The silence on the other end spoke volumes.

 

“So, you think he was right to be jealous?” Phil prompted after a minute.

 

He heard his mother heave a sigh.

 

“Phil, what are you really worried about? Don’t tell me this Jonathan boy is back and wants to give things another go, not after how you two ended things.”

 

Phil flopped back against the creaky futon and reached a hand up to rub it over his face. He yelped when his fingers snagged on his glasses and pulled them half off his face. He’d forgotten he was wearing those.

 

“Phil?” His mum sounded concerned now.

 

“I’m fine. I’m fine,” he assured her, letting his hand fall limp on the futon next to his thigh now. “I guess I should start at the beginning,” he grumbled.

 

“I guess you should,” she agreed.

 

So he told her all about how Alpha Howell had shown up at their flat and screamed at Dan and how Dan had more or less thrown her out. He told her about Dan’s pregnancy being — literally — sniffed out by a fan. And then he told her about the conversation that he and Dan had just had and how it had led to him second-guessing the past five or so years of his life.

 

On the other end of the line, his mother took it all in, murmuring the occasional sound of sympathy or faint surprise. When he’d finished, though, she fell silent again.

 

“What do I do, Mum?” Even he could hear how whiny his voice sounded. What was it about talking to his mum that always made him feel twenty years younger?

 

“I can’t tell you that, my dearest,” she replied in a voice that sounded truly regretful. “What I can tell you is that, while I agree you have to do what’s best for your child, your own happiness is important too. Unhappy parents often raise unhappy children.”

 

“So…you’re saying that the best thing for our kid could be for me and Dan to go our separate ways?” he asked after processing her words.

 

“If you truly believe that staying with Dan will get in the way of your happiness, then yes,” she said. He envied the certainty he could hear underpinning her words. Would this be him someday, he wondered, old and wise in the ways of love, giving advice to his own child? If he wasn’t feeling so twisted up inside, that thought would probably make him smile. ”Staying with someone merely out of a sense of guilt or obligation doesn’t usually make for a very happy or loving home,” his mum added, jarring him back to reality.

 

“But—“ The objection was ripped from Phil almost against his will. He wasn’t even sure what grounds he was objecting on. There was just something fundamentally wrong with the suggestion that he had lived with Dan all these years out of a sense of obligation. He lived with Dan because it made his life better, because he loved him, because he loved sharing everything with him.

 

“Phil,” his mum said, voice grown very soft, “can I say something that you might not want to hear?”

 

He swallowed, the knots in his stomach twisting another degree tighter.

 

“Go ahead,” he mumbled, hoping he wouldn’t regret it.

 

“I’ve always thought,” she began and then paused, to gather her thoughts, he supposed. “I’ve always thought that you and Dan never really fell out of love with each other. No, don’t argue with me yet. Just listen to your mother, all right? I’ve never seen you happier with anyone than you were when you were dating Dan. When you two broke up, I expected to see you home within the week, devastated and needing us to pick up the pieces.

 

“But you stayed, Phil. You stayed there, and you let Dan pick up the pieces instead. You never learned to live without him, and I think that’s because you never wanted to.”

 

Phil pulled off his glasses on purpose this time. There were tears streaming down his cheeks, and the glasses only got in the way of wiping them off.

 

His thoughts were so jumbled, he couldn’t even come up with a response for her. All he could do was hiccup and sniffle into the phone.

 

“You’re going to figure this out, love,” his mother murmured after a moment. “You know your own mind, and you know Dan, probably better than anyone. Talk to him.”

 

“Okay,” he managed to croak out at last.

 

“I love you, Phil,” his mum’s voice said from the other end of the line. “Let me know how it goes.”

 

“Okay,” he said again, for want of a better word. “I love you too.”

 

And then she was gone.

 

 

**

 

He sat for a very long time on the futon staring over at the half-drunk can of Diet Coke on the desk, while outside the tiny window the sun sank deeper and deeper in the sky until it disappeared entirely behind the houses across the street.

 

 

**

 

 

He finally stirred when he caught the scent of garlic, onions, and tomatoes drifting up from the floor below. Dan must be cooking dinner. When had it gotten to be dinner time? With a stretch, he forced himself up from the futon and then made his feet take him down the stairs and into the kitchen.

 

He found Dan in front of the range, stirring a saucepan full of red sauce. The back burner held a pot of water, nearly at a boil, and the nearby counter held a box of penne pasta waiting to be added in.

 

“Would you mind putting together a salad?” Dan said without turning around.

 

“Sure,” Phil said. His voice was mostly normal, though there was a slight husky quality to it, a remnant of his earlier bout of crying.

 

Dan half turned toward him at the sound of his voice, studying his face for a moment before turning back around.

 

“Is it something you want to talk about?” he murmured as Phil made his way to the fridge and started pulling out the salad makings. He grimaced, partially in response to Dan’s question and partially at the fact that all they had was half a head of lettuce, one cucumber, and one carrot. It wasn’t going to be much of a salad.

 

“Give me a bit longer to think about it,” Phil replied as he kicked the fridge door closed with one foot.

 

“Of course,” Dan said, and Phil almost smiled with relief. Dan would give him all the space and time he needed to figure out what he wanted to say.

 

His mum had been right about that at least — he could always talk to Dan, no matter what.

 

They chatted aimlessly over their dinner preparations and then over the dinner itself. They’d already finished _Avatar_ and _Food Wars_ , and the next episodes of _AHS_ and _Bake Off_ weren’t on until the next day, so instead they sat down to rewatch _Thor_ for the eleventh time.

 

Phil hardly tasted his food and barely even saw the images on the screen in front of him. His mind was still stuck back up in the gaming room and the conversation with his mum.

 

They decided to go to bed sometime shortly after midnight. Apparently all it took for them to get on a healthy sleep schedule was an unexpected pregnancy. When Phil had finished brushing his teeth, he paused at the doorway of Dan’s bedroom.

 

The Omega was inside, puttering around and finishing up the last of his nightly routine — shutting down the desktop, kicking his dirty clothes from the day over toward the pile of previous days’ clothes, digging a pair of fresh socks out of the drawer to keep his feet warm in the night.

 

He caught sight of Phil when he sat down on the edge of the bed to pull his socks on. One dark eyebrow rose toward his hairline.

 

“You coming in or are you planning to just stand out there all night?” he quipped.

 

Phil chewed his bottom lip.

 

“I didn’t know if you still wanted…or, I guess, if you were still okay with me…sleeping here.”

 

Dan’s eyebrow lowered again, and his eyes gave Phil’s face a once over.

 

“I am if you are,” he said and then motioned Phil over with a jerk of his head.

 

Phil stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. He hesitated for just a moment beside Dan’s bed and then pulled aside the covers and slipped underneath. Dan joined him a second later, clicking off the bedside lamp and then sliding down to settle himself against the pillows.

 

The moment the Omega stopped moving, the question skipped out of Phil’s mouth.

 

“Do you remember Jonathan?” he murmured to Dan in the dark.

 

He heard a soft snort from nearby.

 

“How could I forget?” came Dan’s warm voice. “As much sex as we had after you broke up with him, it’s a miracle you didn’t get me pregnant _then_.”

 

“That was revenge sex, you know,” Phil chuckled.

 

“I know,” Dan replied. “You told me. Except you neglected to also inform Jonathan about you fucking me to pay him back for being a jealous wanker, which I think might have defeated the purpose.”

 

“Not if the purpose was to have an excuse to have lots of sex with you,” Phil whispered.

 

He heard the rustle of sheets and duvet as Dan rolled onto his side. He could feel the Omega’s eyes on him, even if he couldn’t see them in the dark room.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“It means… I’ve just been thinking, is all. What if Jonathan was right? I mean, obviously I wasn’t cheating on him with you, but, like, it _is_ weird that we kept living together after breaking up, right? Like…that’s not normal ex-boyfriend behavior…is it? Maybe…maybe he did have a reason to be jealous after all.”

 

Dan lay beside him in silence for a while, the only sound in the room their quickened breaths and a couple of cars that drove by on the street outside.

 

Then Dan sighed and flopped back over onto his back with a _whump_.

 

“You and Jonathan didn’t work out because you never really opened up to him, Phil,” the Omega said in a quiet voice. “It’s the same reason none of your relationships have worked for a really long time. There’s this part of you that you’re deathly terrified of letting anyone have access to again, so you keep it so locked down and guarded that people just sort of give up on you after a while. Jonathan tried longer than most, but I think that’s because he made the mistake of thinking that your inability to open up was somehow my fault instead of yours. He thought if he could just get you away from me, that you’d magically unlock all the doors and let him in.”

 

Phil lay staring up at the ceiling, his whole body taut with tension.

 

He wasn’t really like that, was he? But what reason could Dan have for making that up?

 

The thought didn’t even occur to him that Dan might have read him wrong. After seven years of spending every day at one another’s side, he doubted there was anyone in the world who could read him better than Dan. If Dan, of all people, had misunderstood him, what hope did anyone else have?

 

“Do you…” he began with some trepidation. He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know the answer to this question. “Do you think I’m too closed off? With you, I mean? Do you think I should open up to you more?”

 

Dan seemed to really be considering that as he lay still and silent in the dark. Finally, Phil heard him draw in a deep breath.

 

“Maybe once upon a time,” he murmured. “After everything that happened back then. You kinda…disappeared for a while. I was afraid I’d really lost you.”

 

Phil closed his eyes and tried to remember those days. There were so many things he’d done his best to forget over these past four years — that feeling of cold dread when he’d discovered that YouTube had glitched, their panic and frantic attempts to keep people quiet about it…the dizzying terror of discovering that his video had surfaced again almost a full year later.

 

It had all been too much, for both of them. He hadn’t known how to deal with any of the things he was feeling, so…he’d decided to just _not_. Not talk about, not think about, not _deal_ with it really. Considering that up until then, he’d told Dan almost every single thought that passed through his head no matter how ridiculous—yeah, to Dan that must have felt like having a door suddenly slammed in his face.

 

“I’m sorry,” Phil said, rolling toward the Omega and squinting to try to make out his profile in the dim light of the street lamps outside the window.

 

Dan shifted onto his side, his eyes catching the faint glint of light as they sought out Phil’s face too.

 

“You don’t have to apologize,” he said, “not for that. I know how awful it was for you. Plus,”—as he spoke, the dimple blossomed on his left cheek—“I didn’t actually lose you. You started talking to me again eventually.”

 

Unbidden, a matching smile curled Phil’s lips.

 

“I guess I did,” he murmured.

 

And just like that, he knew that his mother had been right about something else too: they were going to figure this out. Maybe he didn’t have an answer yet for what would be best for him or for Dan or for their child. Maybe splitting up and going their separate ways would ultimately be better for them all. Or maybe…just maybe…

 

“Phil,” Dan’s voice interrupted his thoughts. The sheepish note in it drew Phil’s mind back to the present, to him lying here in Dan’s bed with Dan curled up just inches away.

 

“Mm?” Phil said.

 

“This is probably the least appropriate moment for this, but—“ He shuffled closer as he spoke, and Phil’s smile turned into an exasperated grin.

 

“Really? Now? Those pregnancy hormones of yours have turned you into a sex fiend,” he grumbled, though he was definitely still smiling.

 

“Just…suck me off? Please?” Dan mumbled, shuffling close enough to press himself against Phil’s body and wriggling a bit. He slung one leg over Phil’s, and the Beta could feel his half-hard cock rubbing against the top of his thigh.

 

“And what do I get out of it?” Phil asked, even as he was already scooting down under the covers.

 

“Orgasms are good for the baby, remember?” Dan’s voice came from somewhere up above, muffled by the duvet the Phil had crawled under.

 

Phil rolled his eyes and hooked his fingers in the waistband of the Omega’s pajama bottoms. Dan’s dick was already almost fully hard by the time Phil got his lips around it, and he was moaning loud enough for the neighbors to hear within minutes. When Phil slid a finger down between the Omega’s thighs to press it against his hole, he was a little shocked to find it slick with moisture.

 

He sucked hard at the thick head of the Omega’s cock and then pulled off with a filthy, sloppy noise.

 

“You’re wet,” he muttered, slipping his fingertip inside with only the slightest pressure.

 

“Fuck,” he heard Dan choke out. “Yeah, the pregnancy books said that happens sometimes… Hormones and a— aahhhhhh, shit fuck yes, _Phil_.”

 

This last was in response to Phil working a second finger in beside the first and sliding the tips of both up and over Dan’s prostate.

 

“Hmm,” Phil said, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips before he spread them over the Omega’s cock again. As he pushed the tip of his tongue down inside the folds of the Omega’s foreskin to lave it over his sensitive cockhead, Phil wondered where him sucking Dan off fit into this whole messy equation. Wasn’t it weird that after the conversation they’d had earlier and all the doubts it had raised in Phil’s mind that he had still so easily ended up with Dan’s cock in his mouth?

 

“Unn, Phil,” Dan cried out. “I’m gonna—“

 

A second later, Phil felt a warm spurt of liquid on his tongue and the muscles of Dan’s hole clenching rhythmically around his fingers. The sounds of Dan’s incoherent moans filled the room, making Phil’s own cock twitch inside his boxers. It had been a few days since they’d had sex. He made a mental note to add that to tomorrow’s agenda.

 

“Thanks,” he heard Dan slur when he’d pulled his pajama bottoms back into place and crawled up to the head of the bed again. “Felt good.”

 

“Any time,” Phil said and knew that he meant it.

 

“Night,” Dan mumbled, already drifting off to sleep in his post-orgasm haze.

 

“Night,” Phil whispered back.

 

It wasn’t weird at all, he decided as he lay there with the taste of Dan’s cum on his tongue and the lullaby of the Omega’s deep breaths echoing in his ears.

 

It should be weird. It really should, but instead, if he was really honest with himself, it was the most natural thing in the world.


	7. A Ton of Bricks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil release their films

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience and for your support! I'm also thinking of writing a short Meta for the 'verse of this particular fic. It's not really necessary to the plot, but perhaps some of you might be interested in knowing more about the science and history behind this world? I've had to do a fair amount of worldbuilding, and I think it would be fun to share as well. Anyway, please look forward to the next chapter on Sunday. <3

It was October 5 at last, and Dan was curled up on the sofa in his Totoro onesie — because it was comfy af and not for any other reason, thank you very much — with a glass of extremely watered-down Ribena gripped languidly in one hand. His other was on his laptop keyboard and was busily scrolling through his mentions on Twitter.

 

“I bet that doesn’t even taste like Ribena at this point,” Phil said from the seat beside him, where he was just as eagerly checking his own social media. “Just slightly-off water.”

 

“It’s for the aesthetic, Phil,” he admonished the Beta without looking up. “I’m not actually drinking it.”

 

He heard a small huff from beside him.

 

“No one can even see you right now,” Phil scoffed.

 

That made Dan glance over at last. His flatmate had lifted his own glass to his lips and was shooting him a grin as he took a long swig of the pink liquid inside. Dan stuck out his tongue.

 

“Oh, sure, rub it in that you can celebrate this _extremely important_ moment in our lives with real champagne while I just have to pretend,” he said, rolling his eyes. “It’s not like it’s because I am bearing _your firstborn child_ or anything.”

 

Phil just kept grinning, but he did set his glass and laptop aside after a moment and got to his feet.

 

“All right,” he said, pulling his mobile from his pocket. “Since you’ve gone to so much trouble curating your _aesthetic_ this evening”—and he waved a hand toward Dan, encompassing the entirety of his onesie-clad being—“I will graciously take a photo to share with the world.”

 

A breath of laughter escaped Dan’s lungs. 

 

Laughter came easily this evening. Finally, finally after all these months of meetings and back-and-forth emails and sitting behind film editors to oversee their every move, _finally_ their movies were live. His laughter turned into a full-on grin. Their films were live! People were watching the movies they’d made, the stage show they’d written and rehearsed and performed themselves, and the documentary showing all the little moments that went into creating the experience. People were watching them and _loving_ them.

 

“That’s right,” Phil was saying, “big smile for the camera.”

 

“Wait, wait,” Dan cried, shifting back and rearranging the folds of his onesie. “No smiling. Smiling is off-brand. I have to look relatably dead inside.”

 

He schooled his features until they showed only the merest hint of the giddiness he felt inside. Phil sighed and shook his head, but when Dan gave him the go-ahead, he dutifully snapped several shots.

 

Dan picked the one he felt comfortable having the whole world see and then Phil sank back onto the sofa and posted it to his own accounts.

 

Dan couldn’t help the grin that sprang back onto his lips as soon as he returned his attention to his laptop screen. It seemed to be brimming with just as much excitement as he was. People were tweeting at him, animated in their enthusiasm, telling him how much they appreciated what he had created. He thought that right at this moment, his life might be as close to perfect as it was ever going to get.

 

Everything seemed to be going just right.

 

They’d gone for their most recent doctor’s visit last week, which had included another ultrasound scan to check for signs of abnormalities. Once again, everything had seemed normal, and he and Phil had returned home relieved and happy and admiring the new images they’d been given.

 

Dan had been a little shocked by how much more like a baby the picture now looked, even though it had only been about a month since the last one. There was a big round head with a distinguishable nose and mouth, little legs sticking out the opposite end and even one faint, blurry arm. During the actual scan, they’d been able to see a lot more, of course, and they’d both been mesmerized by the baby’s little jerks and squirms.

 

Dan’s books had told him that by now the baby could pick up sounds, and he and Phil had enjoyed a spirited debate about what album should be the first one they introduced their child to. Phil thought they should play Beethoven or some other Classical composer because he’d read some article online that said it could make the baby smarter.

 

“That’s ridiculous,” Dan had argued. “Look, I appreciate Classical music as much as the next person, but we only get one shot at choosing our child’s first album, and I’m not going to have our choice swayed by some pseudoscience bullshit."

 

“Well, I think it’s ridiculous to play _In Rainbows_ for them just because you’re trying to brainwash them into being a Radiohead fan in utero,” Phil had returned, jabbing a pointed finger toward Dan’s abdomen. “Half their DNA is mine. What if they would rather have The Shins be their first album? At least Beethoven is a neutral choice.”

 

They’d finally compromised and played the baby a Spotify playlist of their favorite songs. The two of them had lain back against the pillows on Dan’s bed with the music weaving through and around them as they murmured quietly to one another, trying to guess what the baby must be thinking about each song — assuming it was capable of thought at this point in its development. The ultrasound tech had pointed out its brain on the scan, so he knew it at least had the requisite equipment.

 

If he thought too hard about it, the whole scene was probably very silly, but it wasn’t like anyone other than him and Phil (and someday the kid itself) would ever know about it. It was an experience for just the three of them to share, a moment that belonged to their little family and no one else.

 

Well, to the extent that the three of them _were_ a family. But this wasn’t the time to get hung up on something like that. Dan frowned a bit and absently took a sip from his glass.

 

“Ew,” he muttered as he quickly yanked it away from his lips again.

 

“Told you,” came Phil’s smug murmur from beside him.

 

“Shut up,” he grumbled, eyeing Phil’s glass longingly. He knew it wouldn’t actually hurt the baby for him to have a sip of the champagne, or probably even more than a sip. Dr. Paul had assured him that studies had shown no adverse effects on fetal development of small amounts of alcohol intake by a bearer, up to a full glass of wine per week during pregnancy. Still, every time he tried to talk himself into it, an overwhelming sense of guilt would overcome him and a voice inside his head would berate him: _You’re really so selfish that you’d risk your child’s health just to enjoy a sip of champagne?_

 

Phil had tried to reason with him, when they were picking out the champagne at the Nisa Local down on the corner, but the voice inside his head wasn’t the sort to listen to reason.

 

He sighed and set his glass of faux-champagne down on the arm of the sofa. It wasn’t that big of a loss, in the grand scheme of things. He could celebrate this moment well enough with or without champagne. Something in him just recoiled from the constant, uncomfortable knowledge that his body wasn’t entirely his own anymore.

 

No.

 

He shook himself. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on unpleasant thoughts. This was a happy occasion, damn it! He forced his attention back to the screen in front of him.

 

And really, even beyond enjoying a healthy pregnancy and the success of publishing two massive projects he’d worked his ass off to perfect, he had a lot to be happy about right now. His Alpha Mum had responded positively to his email, admitting that coming into his home and yelling at him had been a bad decision and agreeing to keep her opinions about Phil to herself. His Omega mum had called after that, full of apologies and olive branches. Dan had assured her that he didn’t blame her and that, in fact, he had been very glad of her calming presence on that day.

 

As a compromise, he’d offered to visit his childhood home soon to show off the latest ultrasound picture and check in with them more thoroughly about how he was doing. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to that, but he also didn’t want to punish his Omega mum for his Alpha Mum’s sins, and hey, maybe he would actually get a rare chance to see his brother, assuming he didn’t immediately disappear to a friend’s house. So, maybe things with his family weren’t perfect, but they were lightyears ahead of where they’d been a couple of weeks ago.

 

Things here in his own home were going well too. He’d been a little surprised that Phil had so easily agreed to continue renting rather than buy a house. Buying a house had been Phil’s idea, so Dan had expected more resistance, disagreement at the least. Instead, after some deliberation—and what Dan suspected was a discreet consultation with his mum—the Beta had called the real estate agent’s himself the next morning to give him the news.

 

They’d switched at once to touring rental properties, most of them still houses, and had even come across one or two promising prospects. If all went well, they’d probably be able to pack up before the European tour, have the movers whisk everything off to the new place some time while they were gone, and come back from Dublin or Berlin or Stockholm to a(n already unpacked) brand new home.

 

Of course, there was still Phil’s face that night after they’d agreed not to buy a home, how blotchy and red it had looked when he’d reappeared in the kitchen after several hours being holed up in the gaming room. Dan had never gotten a full explanation of that. There had only been that one conversation, in their bed that night, that had even hinted at what Phil might have been upset about. Yet that had mostly been about Phil’s recent difficulties in love and the apparent guilt he still carried about how his last serious relationship had ended. Nothing really to do with Dan or moving at all.

 

Still, he’d worried that, despite how well Phil had taken it, there might be some newfound tension in their relationship after his declaration that he didn’t want them to entangle their lives any further.

 

Somehow, though, things between him and Phil seemed better than ever. They’d begun seriously planning for how and when they would publicly announce the pregnancy (post-movie launch, pre-DAPGOOSE, method as yet undetermined). They still spent nearly every waking moment together, and all their sleeping ones too. They laughed, they watched TV, they ate their meals together, had even left the house on a spontaneous nursery-furniture shopping trip two days ago. He’d also convinced Phil that, since he’d finally gotten around to going to his doctor and had been given a clean bill of health, it was safe to stop using condoms again.

 

A smile curved his lips as he remembered that morning, how he’d woken up hard and hungry with Phil’s erection pressed up against his side.

 

He’d started the Beta’s morning with a surprise hand job that had quickly escalated to full-on fucking. _God_ it had felt incredible to have Phil on top of him and feel his cum filling him up after so many months of going without it. That hot stickiness inside, accompanied by Phil’s soft moans as he lost his mind in bliss, that sensation of being overtaken, overwhelmed, full to overflowing in more ways than one—he’d missed all of that _so much_.

 

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud yawn from the Beta. Startled, it took him a moment to realize was the ruckus was. When he did, he let out a low chuckle.

 

“It’s not even 11:00 o’clock yet, you old man,” he said, favoring him with a look that made it clear how hard he was judging him.

 

Phil returned his look with a raised eyebrow.

 

“It was an early morning,” he pointed out.

 

Dan’s look morphed into a smirk.

 

“Yeah,” he agreed. “It was.”

 

Phil kept looking back at him, a faint smile hovering at the edges of his pale lips, and the longer their eyes held, the more the look in Phil’s seemed different somehow, like he wasn’t just looking at Dan but was _seeing_ him. It wasn’t heat. It wasn’t lust. He knew, though couldn’t have explained how, that Phil wasn’t thinking about sex while gazing at him with those soft eyes. After several seconds had passed, Dan began to feel nervous almost, his heart rate picking up and a flutter in the pit of his stomach, yet he couldn’t look away. 

 

“Wh—“ he started to ask, but before he could get the question out, Phil finally dragged his eyes away. Dan could have sworn Phil had begun to lean toward him just a bit before he’d looked away.

 

“Think I’ll have my shower now,” the Beta said, plunking his champagne flute down on the coffee table and hopping to his feet. “See you in a bit.”

 

Dan could only frown after him in curiosity. _What was that?_

 

 

He turned it over in his mind all the rest of the evening, letting it go only when Phil had crawled under the duvet with him and slid over to slot himself into usual spot at Dan’s side.

 

It was nothing, he told himself. Everything was fine—more than fine, really. Everything was just as it should be.

 

 

**

 

The next day, Phil’s parents were in town again, and he and Phil busied themselves taking them around to the touristy sites, like the Shard and the British Museum. And because neither of them had the least idea how to say no to Phil’s mum, they’d let her drag them to a baby goods store and buy them the first of what Dan suspected would be a truckload of new toys. Then on Sunday as soon as Kath and Nigel had boarded their train back north, he and Phil rushed back to their flat for the big online viewing party they’d promised their followers.

 

It was hilarious fun, and the renewed outpouring of love for their films left Dan with a high that he hadn’t come down from even by the time he fell into bed shortly after midnight. He’d seen his own giddiness reflected on Phil’s face as he’d climbed into the bed beside him, and maybe it wasn’t so surprising that he’d ended up with Phil’s fingers gripping his hair and his cock shoved all the way to the back of his throat. He’d almost come just from the combination of heightened emotions and the indescribable pleasure of having his mouth fucked. As it was, it took barely three tugs to bring him to climax after Phil had finally finished.

 

The next day was a nice and slow one, with both of them waking up late and then doing their own things around the house. Dan really loved days like this, how easy it was, him and Phil just existing in each other’s space. In the evening, they had plans to go out with Chris and Bryony, so 6:30 found Dan at the foot of the stairs yelling up at Phil to bloody hurry it up or they were going to be late. They weren’t really that far behind schedule, but they were planning to tell their two friends about the baby tonight, the first people outside their families and work to know. He couldn’t help being a little nervous about how they would take it. Bryony and Chris had been their closest friends for a really long time and had experienced pretty much all of the ups and downs of their relationship alongside them.

 

“Coming!” Phil called down, appearing in the doorway above.

 

Dan turned to smirk up at him.

 

“Seems like that’s all I ever hear you say these days,” he joked because, just possibly, they’d had another go at each other this morning when Phil had suggested a shared shower and Dan had been 100% on board.

 

Phil shook his head as he made his way down the stairs to where Dan stood tapping his foot.

 

“And whose fault is that, huh?” he said as he brushed past and opened the door to their flat.

 

Dan felt a slight blush creep into his cheeks. Okay, so maybe lately the hormones were making him unexpectedly horny—and ravenous and moody and all the other havoc they usually wrought on pregnant people’s bodies. Gassy too, he remembered with a frown. 

 

The more he thought about it, the more amazed he was by how Phil was taking this all in stride. Surely not every pregnant person had a partner so willing to put up with all their (literal) shit? Not that Phil was his partner, exactly…

 

Bryony texted them while they were still on the tube that she and Chris had arrived early and already been seated at the restaurant they’d chosen. Once he and Phil stepped through the front door, he immediately caught sight of her pale head and arm raised high in the air, waving them on toward the back of the restaurant.

 

“You guys! It’s been forever,” she cried when they reached the table. She jumped up at once and pulled Dan into a tight hug. His arms were only halfway around her back in an attempt to return the embrace when she sprang away from him again with rounded eyes.

 

Her mouth popped open as though to ask him a question, but then her eyes flitted over toward Phil, who was just pulling away from a hug with Chris. She returned her gaze to Dan and held up one hand to shield her mouth from view.

 

_We’re talking later_ , she mouthed at him.

 

He bit his lips to suppress the grin that wanted to leap out. Bryony and her boyfriend were both Alphas (a somewhat unusual pairing that often earned them weird looks). She’d probably already guessed about his pregnancy from his scent alone.

 

Chris, too, made a strange face when he hugged Dan, but all he did was exchange a quick glance with Bryony, who shrugged an answer. Dan guessed that was her way of suggesting he let it go for now.

 

He and Phil had decided to wait to share their news until after dinner, so he had to endure an entire meal filled with furtive glances and raised eyebrows from both of his friends. All he did in response was grin and shake his head. It was kind of fun, he had to admit, leaving them in suspense like that.

 

Finally, the server brought over their respective desserts—chocolate gateau for Phil, cheesecake for Bryony, and fruit parfaits for him and Chris—and then made their discreet exit. He looked over at Phil, who looked back at him, and the two of them shared a secret smile. It was time.

 

When they turned back to the other two, they found twin quizzical expressions on their faces.

 

“Dan and I have something to tell you,” Phil began and then tossed him an expectant look. “Dan?”

 

The Omega leaned in toward the center of the table, and the other three followed suit. They were in an enclosed booth in a far corner of the restaurant, and he doubted even the people in the neighboring booth could hear their conversation. Still, it never hurt to be careful.

 

“I’m pregnant,” he murmured. “We’re expecting a little one in April.”

 

The shock in both of his friends’ faces was as unexpected as it was gratifying. Both Bryony and Chris merely gaped for a moment, looking back and forth between him and Phil as though they thought one of them was going to shout “Just kidding!” any moment now.

 

Then suddenly a light bulb seemed to turn on over Bryony’s head.

 

“Ohhh!” she exclaimed. “That explains the Alpha smell.”

 

“Wait, what? But how— Ohhh!” Chris chimed in, looking back over at Dan with an expression that Dan could only read as relief. The smug grin on his own face began to melt. “I was wondering how I'd missed you getting an Alpha.”

 

Now it was his and Phil’s turn to gape.

 

“You…what?” Phil asked in a faint voice.

 

“Getting an Alpha? What are you talking about?” Dan said at almost the same moment, frowning. Other than Bryony and Chris themselves, the last Alpha he’d been anywhere near was his Mum, and that had been more than two weeks ago. How could he possibly smell like—?

 

And then the other shoe dropped.

 

Dan’s entire body went as cold as if he’d just been plunged into the Arctic Ocean. The only other reason he would smell like an Alpha was if…the fetus he was carrying inside him was an Alpha. Beta fetuses didn’t change an Omega parent’s scent at all, other than the general effect that pregnancy had on an Omega’s scent. An Omega fetus would strengthen the Omega parent’s own scent, though the effect was usually only noticeable late in the pregnancy. An Alpha fetus’s scent, on the other hand, was distinct enough from the Omega parent’s natural scent that it could usually be detected much earlier in the pregnancy. He gulped. How many people that he’d run into recently had also been able to read the Alpha scent he was now apparently giving off?

 

“Dan?” came Bryony’s voice from somewhere very far away. “You’ve gone white as a sheet, love. You all right?”

 

He turned a wide-eyed stare on Phil, who was still glancing around the table with a wrinkled brow.

 

“I’m fine,” Dan managed after a moment. “Phil,” he said, drawing the Beta’s attention to him. “Phil, if I smell like an Alpha… Do you know what that means?”

 

The Beta’s frown deepened. He shook his head.

 

“No,” he said, sounding slightly annoyed. “What does it mean?”

 

Almost involuntarily, Dan’s hand dropped down to cup the slight bump under his shirt.

 

“We’re having an Alpha,” he murmured.

 

Phil’s eyes sprang as wide as Dan’s and then his gaze fell to fix itself on the hand Dan had laid over his abdomen.

 

“Wait, you didn’t know yet?” Bryony said from across the table, sounding rather sheepish.

 

Dan shook his head slowly, unable to tear his eyes away from Phil’s stricken face.

 

“Oops,” Bryony said. “Would’ve broken it to you more gently if I’d realized.”

 

Dan just nodded again. He was too busy thinking about how this changed everything. Well, not really _everything_. Of course, this was still their baby. He and Phil would still love them and cherish them with all their hearts. But the problem wasn’t him and Phil. Like in so many things in their lives, the problem was what other people would think.

 

“Dan, it’ll be okay.” Phil’s soft words stirred him from his thoughts. “This isn’t the 1800’s. No one’s gonna show up and take our kid away just because they’re an Alpha.”

 

“I know,” Dan mumbled, barely able to look up from where his hand was now rubbing over his belly in jerky, agitated motions.

 

He really did know. Centuries ago, it had been the accepted norm for Alpha children born to non-Alpha parents to be given to an Alpha grandparent or other family member to raise. Common wisdom said that of course Omega and Beta parents weren’t competent to properly teach an Alpha child how to grow up to be a Real Alpha.

 

Even by the 1800’s, though, the practice had become rare in the UK, but it hadn’t been outlawed completely until the early 20th century. Nevertheless, even now in 2016, there were other places in the world where it was still commonplace, and here in the UK as well you occasionally heard a story on the news about some ultra-conservative family who had arranged an illegal “private adoption” by an Alpha grandparent or, worse, about some Alpha who had somehow coerced their child into handing over an Alpha grandchild.

 

His Alpha Mum wouldn’t do that, though…would she? Even when she’d been yelling at him the other day and strongly insinuating that he and Phil alone could never be fit parents for their child, she had never gone so far as to suggest he was better off handing the child over to her. Then again, that was back when there had been a 75% chance that their child wasn’t an Alpha.

 

And even if his Mum had no nefarious plans to spirit his baby away, there were still plenty of people out there who looked askance at non-Alpha parents raising an Alpha child on their own. Lots of people were backward enough to truly believe that by raising their own child themselves, he and Phil would somehow be permanently warping them. Like somehow growing up without an Alpha parent would prevent their child from ever achieving their True Nature.

 

Dan’s dessert suddenly wasn’t looking very appetizing anymore.

 

“Can we go home?” he blurted out, glancing up at Phil with what he hoped didn’t look like the sheer panic he was feeling inside.

 

The concern on Phil’s face was clear, but he nodded anyway.

 

“Of course,” he said and turned an apologetic glance on their two friends who had fallen silent across the table.

 

“Don’t even worry about it,” Bryony piped up then and reached a hand across the table to squeeze Dan gently on the arm. “Go on home and get some rest. You’ll feel better after you’ve had some time to process it.”

 

He nodded mutely. He hoped she was right.

 

Phil started to reach for his wallet, but Chris waved at him to stop, pulling out his own wallet instead.

 

“We’ll get it this time,” he said, shooing them away. “It was good to catch up with you two.”

 

“Yes, it was,” Bryony chimed in, “and congratulations on your news. I’m really very happy for the both of you.”

 

“Thank you,” he heard Phil say. 

 

There was more muted conversation behind him as he climbed out of the booth and started heading toward the door, but he tuned it out. He was reaching for the door handle when he felt a hand snake around to rest for a moment on the small of his back. He knew by the scent and the gentle warmth of the pressure that it must be Phil.

 

The hand disappeared after a only a brief touch.

 

“This changes nothing,” he heard the Beta murmur. Dan just shook his head, and then they pushed the door open and stepped outside onto the pavement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NB: Just to avoid any confusion, the Chris mentioned in this chapter is Wirrow, not crabstickz.


	8. A Ton of Feathers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decisions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've almost finished the meta I mentioned last time, so look forward to that appearing sometime soon. I'll add it as another work in the series. Thanks as always for your support! Next chapter on Thursday. <3

Phil’s phone buzzed just minutes after they had climbed into the back of the taxi and given the driver their address. They hadn’t even needed to discuss it for him to know that Dan didn’t want to be on the tube with hundreds of eyes staring at him and potentially judging him right now. He’d hailed the first taxi that had driven by.

 

He sneaked a glance at Dan, who was hunched over in the corner, staring out of the window. Definitely not a posture that suggested he wanted to be talked to right now.

 

Confident that the Omega wanted to be left to his own thoughts for the moment, Phil pulled the phone from his pocket and found a text from Bryony.

 

**_Bryony_ **

_I’m so, so sorry to have just dropped that on you both like that. It didn’t occur to me that you didn’t know yet. I’m sorry we didn’t get to properly celebrate your big news. Chris and I would love to meet up again soon so that we can have a real chat about it. We’re both very happy for you and wish you all the best! <3_

 

Phil felt angry tears prickling at the backs of his eyes. Why should she have to feel guilty? As far as he was concerned, the revelation that their baby was an Alpha was just more exciting news. He hadn’t yet considered what it would mean, having already subconsciously decided that their child was probably a Beta. But it was exciting just knowing that little bit more about their baby, a new, tiny glimpse into the miniature person being knit together inside Dan’s body right now.

 

Yet instead of gushing over the news, instead of celebrating with their friends and sharing their thoughts about what it would be like to raise an Alpha, he and Dan were sitting in tense silence in the back seat of a taxi. And poor Bryony and Chris were feeling unnecessarily guilty for having been the ones to break the news to them.

 

He texted Bryony back that they’d love to meet up again soon and not to worry about any of the rest of it. Then he slid his phone back into his pocket with a sign.

 

He did know what Dan was worried about. It wasn’t like he hadn’t grown up in this exact same country, hadn’t heard all the same stories, hadn’t read the posts from ignorant people on Facebook about how “an Alpha child needs an Alpha in the home.” And it wasn’t like he hadn’t been right there in their flat two weeks ago when Dan’s own Alpha Mum had expressed similarly stupid opinions.

 

He knew what broken record must be repeating in Dan’s mind just at this moment, but the frustrating thing was that he was powerless to turn it off. Sometimes he wished there were a way to just crack Dan’s head open, reach down into his brain, and sweep out all the nasty bits of garbage that had piled up in its corners.

 

Barring that, though, there were, in Phil’s experience, exactly four tried-and-true Methods to Make Dan Howell’s Brain Shut the Fuck Up: 1. Dick him down good, 2. Ply him with way too much alcohol, 3. Let him argue with his brain aloud until he became exhausted and fell asleep, 4. Argue with his brain for him until he became exhausted and fell asleep.

 

Phil sneaked another glance at Dan slouched against the car’s window. He had a feeling tonight was going to require Method Number Four.

 

His eyes lingered on his fellow passenger for a while. He studied the way the bright lights of shops, street lamps, and car headlights outside the window played over the pale skin of the Omega’s face, turning it alternately orange or blue or golden yellow. Sometimes the outline of his nose would be carved out in sharp black and white, only to soften when the light had faded into the distance again. His soft lips, which Phil could swear grew pinker and fuller with each passing day, were pursed in a pensive pout.

 

Maybe, just maybe Phil would get lucky and Dan would want to try for Method Number One. It was a solid plan and one he would have no qualms putting into practice: distract Dan from his worries with sex, repeat until he forgot why he had been so worried in the first place.

 

The Omega shifted under his steady gaze and slid a glance over toward him.

 

His eyes, black in the poor light, were brimming with more thoughts than Phil felt a person should have in their head at any one time. Thoughts that were going to stay bottled up inside his head until they gained the privacy of their own home.

 

The Beta leaned over enough to rest one hand on the Omega’s on the pleather car seat between them. The skin of Dan’s hand was warm and moist along the edges of his palms. Phil curved his fingers underneath, wiggling them inside Dan’s grasp. He saw the Omega’s gaze drop, pause on their two hands.

 

He squeezed Dan’s hand firmly and then didn’t let go.

 

_I’m here_ , he tried to say, hoping the words could somehow travel down his arm and through his hand into Dan’s skin and from there into his brain. _I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you._

 

He watched Dan’s eyes drop closed, and then the Omega was moving, leaning toward him, half laying his head down, half collapsing onto Phil’s shoulder. Phil heard him drawing in breath after shuddering breath. He felt the trembling of his body where it pressed against Phil’s.

 

Down on the seat between them, Dan’s fingers squeezed around his own. Inside Phil’s chest, something eased.

 

They didn’t let go of one another until the taxi pulled up in front of their flat, at which point Dan slipped inside while Phil paid the driver.

 

The moment Phil stepped inside the door, Dan reached for his hand again, and the Beta found himself being half-dragged up the stairs and into their flat.

 

Dan’s face had lost its haunted expression and shifted into something much closer to determined. Phil found that he was almost smiling in response. _Yes_ , he shouted silently, _You can fight this, Dan. I know you can._

 

It was just possible that they’d managed to achieve the secret Method Number Five: give Dan the space and support he needed to shut his brain up himself.

 

Phil was dragged all the way to the lounge, where finally Dan dropped his hand and whirled to look at him with squared shoulders. Phil stepped back and stood up as straight as he could, nodding for the Omega to speak.

 

“I think I overreacted,” he stated, words slow and clear. “Because, you know what? Fuck everyone else and what they think.” He shook his head. “Fuck those people who post your video without your permission, and fuck all those people who ever said we shouldn’t be together because you’re a Beta and I’m an Omega. Fuck those people who said we must be sleeping together just because we were living together too. Fuck my Mum and fuck anyone who thinks we aren’t going to be the best god damn parents ever to our kid. Fuck everyone, if they think they have any right at all to say a single word about you and me having this baby and raising it and loving it with everything we have.”

 

By the end of his speech, Dan’s voice was shaking and there were tears spilling down his cheeks, but his expression had hardened into full-on, bloody-minded determination, and _damn_ he’d never looked more beautiful to Phil in his entire life.

 

Before he’d even thought about it, Phil had stepped in, his hands stretching up to clutch tight around Dan’s jaw, and then he was kissing him, lips pressing hard and hungry and _fucking sure_ against the Omega’s mouth.

 

For a moment, Dan stood stock still, probably too shocked to react. But the next moment he was kissing back, lips parting, tongue slipping out and into Phil’s mouth, insistent, demanding. His hands were suddenly at Phil’s back, fingers clutching at Phil’s shirt so hard he knew they would leave creases.

 

Not that he cared.

 

It had been so long, so, so very long since he’d kissed anyone like this.

 

Oh, he’d kissed Dan loads of times in the past several years, but only when there was sex involved, only the kinds of kisses that were meant to fan the flames of their desire and make everything hotter and better. And all those other people he’d kissed? Didn’t even come close. Maybe Dan was right and that was just because he’d never given them a chance to get closer, but at this particular moment, fathoming that particular mystery was the furthest thing from his mind.

 

Because Dan was kissing him back in a way that made it feel like the other man had torn his chest open to give Phil an eyeful of his own bleeding, pumping heart.

 

Too quickly, they had to wrench apart to catch their breath.

 

Dan was staring at him, the fire in his eyes from before now mixed with slight confusion. His lips were parted, wet and dark pink from the blood that flushed them.

 

“Phil—?”

 

“I’m not looking for anyone else,” Phil blurted out.

 

Dan’s eyes went wide, and he blinked at Phil a few times, his confusion still evident.

 

Phil drew a deep, steadying breath.

 

“You don’t want to entangle our lives any further,” he began, “because someday either one of us might find someone else to settle down with and leave. But I’m not looking for anyone else, Dan. Not only right now. For the foreseeable future.”

 

The Omega’s eyebrows lowered, his forehead wrinkling as his eyes roamed across Phil’s face. He drew a breath, started to say something, paused. Shook his head. Then he drew in another breath and spoke.

 

“I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, Phil,” he said, shaking his head again. “For the foreseeable future? What do you…? What are you trying to say?”

 

Fuck, what _was_ he trying to say?

 

It had all been rolling around in the back of his head for the past two weeks, ever since that conversation with his mum. He still wasn’t sure if he thought she was right. Was he really still in love with Dan? Was Dan really still in love with him?

 

But he’d thought about everything Dan had said too, about how he’d shut everyone else out, at least every other potential romantic partner, but he’d eventually let Dan back in. His mum had said something similar. _You stayed and let Dan pick up the pieces._

 

He couldn’t say for sure whether this was love, at least not the romantic, stars-in-your-eyes, church bells, and wedding rings kind. But just now, as he’d watched Dan wrestle his own demons into submission right before his eyes, watched him step forward and stake a claim on his own future, something had clicked into place inside of him.

 

He could stake a claim on the future too. And the future he wanted had Dan in it, Dan and no one else.

 

“I don’t want to let some dream future that only exists in my imagination keep me from enjoying what’s right in front of me,” he said at last. “I have you, Dan, here and now. I have a baby on the way who I’m dying to meet. This, what we have right now, this is everything that I could ever want. I’m not going to start looking for anything else because…the truth is, I already have everything.”

 

The Omega’s tears had started up again, rolling fast down his cheeks as he took in Phil’s words. His hands snaked up to wrap around his middle as though he were trying to comfort himself with an embrace.

 

“That’s…” He stopped, breaths shuddering in and out of him. “I don’t know what to say to that, Phil. You just kissed me, and… I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to that.”

 

The Beta nodded, trying to hold his own breathing steady. Of course he needed to give Dan time. He’d had weeks to think through everything he’d just said, to really come to terms with what he wanted. He needed to allow Dan the same.

 

“You can’t just,” Dan was saying again, his arms squeezing more tightly around himself, “You can’t just slot me into this empty spot in your dream life because— because I’m just _there_ and _convenient_ for you. I’m not… I’m never gonna be this perfect husband and father you’ve always wanted, and if you try to, you know, _make do_ with me… It’s just going to end badly. You’ll be disappointed, and I’ll be—“

 

Phil cut him off with a sharp shake of the head.

 

“Dan, I know that,” he protested. “I know that’s not what you want to be, and I would never try to force you to do that. Maybe I wasn’t clear enough.” He squared his own shoulders and tilted his chin up. “I want to build the rest of our future together. I want—“ He had to pause, overcome with emotion by the words he was about to say. After a few deep breaths, he was able to continue. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Dan, whatever that looks like.”

 

Dan stared at him for a long, long moment, and then the Omega turned away, crossing the lounge in two long strides. He stopped at the window, one hand braced on the sill. The blinds were closed, making it impossible that he was looking outside. From the heaving of his shoulders, Phil wondered if he was crying.

 

His whole body ached to go to Dan. His arms wanted to encircle him, his chest wanted to be pressed against his back and his chin to rest on his shoulder. It almost hurt how badly he wanted to comfort the Omega, to reassure him, make him feel like everything was okay, would always be okay.

 

He waited.

 

A few seconds later, he could actually hear Dan’s sobs, soft but heart-wrenchingly deep. Phil took an involuntary step toward him and then, with all the will he had, forced himself to stop.

 

He wondered, after a while, if he should just leave. It was agony, standing there, listening to Dan sobbing without knowing what was going on inside his head. And that was so rare these days, finding himself unable to guess Dan’s thoughts at any given moment.

 

But this was uncharted territory.

 

Not even back then when they’d been in love and dating had Phil ever told Dan in certain terms that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. Back then, he’d never been sure he even wanted that.

 

He was very sure now. But Dan was worried about relying on Phil too much. Dan was worried about his independence, about letting Phil down, about their lives becoming so entangled that there would never be a way to cut himself loose again. Didn’t all those things ultimately come down to Dan not fully trusting him? Or maybe they meant it was Dan who was looking for someone else to be with…

 

Maybe Phil’s declaration had only made it harder for Dan to confess he was ready to move on. _Fuck_ it was hard not knowing what Dan wanted. It hadn’t even been a full ten minutes, and Phil already felt like he was making himself sick with anxiety.

 

Finally, Dan’s body stilled and the sounds of his sobs died away. By then, Phil had both hands clenched into fists at his sides and his teeth clamped down hard to keep himself from calling out Dan’s name.

 

And then the Omega turned to face him again. His eyes were all puffy and red-rimmed, and the tip of his nose was a shiny pink. There were obvious tear tracks staining both cheeks. He stared at Phil with an expression Phil found it impossible to read.

 

He watched Dan’s teeth pull his lower lip in between and worry at it while he studied the Beta’s face.

 

Then, the Omega raised his arms from his sides in a gesture so clear there was no mistaking it.

 

“Come here,” he rasped in his sob-torn voice.

 

Phil didn’t need to be asked twice. He half-stumbled across the room, and Dan met him halfway, arms still open and ready to draw him in. Nothing, he thought, had ever felt so good as those arms wrapped around him right now, pulling him closer, closer, and this time it was Dan who leaned in and kissed him on the lips. He tasted like salt, clean and calm, like the sea after a storm.

 

They stood together in the lounge for a very long time, arms wrapped tight around each other, lips reminding themselves of the feel and taste of each other’s mouths.

 

After a while, he stepped back and pulled Dan off to his bedroom—their bedroom, honestly, and they changed into their pajamas. He couldn’t help sneaking a peek when the Omega slipped off his shirt. There was a noticeable bump on his lower belly now, and though Phil had seen it many times, he never tired of looking again.

 

When they were both dressed for sleep, they slid into the bed, and Dan turned off the light, and they came together once again. He pulled Dan towards him, found his lips in the darkness. He felt Dan’s hands moving gently up and down his back. The kisses were slow now, languid even, as they relaxed into the comfort and relief of this, of them, of the two of them together in a new-old way.

 

When he woke in the early light of morning, he had to laugh at the realization that they had actually kissed each other to sleep.

 

 

**

 

He woke again a few hours later to find the bed empty. It was a bit disappointing, as he’d had serious hopes of morning fun time with Dan before they had to get out of bed, but he supposed there was always later.

 

After he’d finished his morning trip to the bathroom, he wandered down to the kitchen, expecting to maybe find Dan there preparing his breakfast yoghurt. Instead, he found a fresh pot of coffee, a mug, a box of Shreddies, a clean bowl, and a spoon laid out neatly on the counter. 

 

A flood of emotion filled his chest, so overpowering he had to stop and catch his breath for a moment. It wasn’t anything big, no grand, earth-shattering gesture. It was such a small thing, but after last night, it felt like every word he’d wanted to hear Dan say in return.

 

He took his time pouring himself a mug of coffee—Dan had chosen the “Daddy” mug that had used to just be a joke—and fixing his bowl of cereal. Then he made his way out to the lounge, where he wasn’t surprised to find Dan curled up on the sofa with his laptop and a glass of orange juice. His own empty bowl was balanced next to him on the arm of the sofa.

 

He looked up and smiled when Phil came in. Phil smiled back and then, just because he could now, he set his breakfast down on the coffee table and leaned over to kiss Dan on the cheek before settling on the sofa cushions beside him.

 

Dan’s smile softened, and he turned to gaze at Phil with a bemused expression.

 

“Thanks for breakfast,” Phil grinned and then reached for his cereal.

 

“Yeah, I’m a proper gourmet chef,” Dan snorted before turning back to his computer.

 

“Yep, and you cooked my favorite breakfast,” Phil returned, taking a huge bite and crunching it pointedly.

 

“Thought that was pancakes,” the Omega shot back, but Phil just rolled his eyes and reached for the TV remote.

 

Dan waited until he’d finished eating before shutting his laptop and muting the volume on the morning news show they’d been half paying attention to. Phil took another swig of coffee and then set his mug down and shifted to face Dan. The Omega was gazing at him intently from the other end of the sofa.

 

“So,” Dan began, licking his lips in the way that meant he was trying to gather his thoughts. “Us…”

 

Phil gave a firm nod.

 

“Us,” he agreed.

 

“You said you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me,” Dan stated, laying out the facts as he understood them, Phil supposed. “You said you wanted to build our future together…whatever that looked like.”

 

Phil nodded again, this time staying silent.

 

“I think I want that too,” Dan said. Phil’s heart stopped beating as the Omega paused again. “But I want to make sure we’re both on the same page.”

 

“Yes,” Phil said, his heart starting up again, “that’s a good idea.”

 

Dan drew in a deep breath through his nose, with an air of gathering his courage for something.

 

“Are you in love with me?” he asked.

 

Of course he would want to know that. Phil just wished he had a better answer for him. Instead, all he could give him was an apologetic grimace.

 

“I don’t know?” he said. “Maybe…maybe not? Are you, uh, in love with me?”

 

Dan gave a shrug, looking about as lost as he felt.

 

Phil had to chuckle. After a moment Dan joined in, both of them shaking their heads at how hopeless they were.

 

“I don’t think we need to be in love to want to spend our lives together, though,” Phil said after a bit. “I think what I was trying to say last night, but maybe was doing a really shitty job of saying, is that I’m very happy with the way things are right now, and I would be happy if they stayed like this for the rest of our lives.”

 

Dan watched him for a moment, eyes sparkling with trepidation.

 

“But what if you do meet someone else? Or what if you, like, change your mind? And you realize this isn’t enough for you? You’re…you’re basically saying you’re giving up on your dreams for me.”

 

Phil frowned. Something about that was wrong, though he didn’t immediately know what. They sat in silence for a minute while Dan let him work out his own thoughts. When it came to him, he let out a long sigh of relief.

 

“I’m not giving up my dreams,” he said slowly. “And I’m not doing this for you. Or, at least, not just for you. Like,” he gazed at up Dan, hoping his eyes showed how earnest he was, “I have you to share my life with, and spending every day with you makes me really happy. We’re making a family together, just like I always dreamed of doing with someone I cared about.” He shook his head, a firm negation, “I’m not giving up on my dreams, Dan,” he said again. “I’m letting go of something imaginary so I can hold onto something real.”

 

There was moisture shining at the edges of Dan’s eyes when Phil finished speaking.

 

“Fuck,” he said, looking away. Phil could see how hard his chest was heaving up and down with the effort of holding in his tears. “Okay,” he breathed out after a moment. “If you really—“ He turned back to meet Phil’s eyes again. “If you really mean that, then okay.”

 

“I do,” Phil said at once, not a trace of doubt left in his mind. 

 

Dan shook his head with an expression half of amusement and half of disbelief. But he leaned in and pressed a lingering kiss to Phil’s lips, and then that was that. They’d decided. They were both in this for the long haul.

 

When Dan leaned back again, a faint echo of last night’s determination had reappeared on his face.

 

“I’ve decided I can’t go visit my mums anymore,” he murmured. “If they want to meet up, we’ll meet at a restaurant or something, with you there. I’m not seeing them alone, and I’m not going to their house.”

 

Phil raised an eyebrow, accepting the abrupt change of subject. This was clearly something that had been weighing on Dan’s mind.

 

“You think they’d try something?” he asked.

 

Dan shrugged.

 

“Maybe not? But I don’t entirely trust them.”

 

“Okay,” Phil nodded. “Whatever you think is best, I’ll support you.”

 

Dan reached over and grasped his hand then.

 

“Thank you,” he breathed. “You don’t know how much easier this all is with you here.”

 

Phil raised the Omega’s hand to his lips and placed a kiss on his knuckles.

 

“I’m glad you’re the one I’m going through all of this with too,” he said. He lowered Dan’s hand without letting go of it and continued, “So, our baby is an Alpha.”

 

He watched Dan’s face, looking for any sign of the tension and fear from last night. Instead, all he saw was that same determination.

 

“Yeah,” Dan agreed. “Our baby is an Alpha.”

 

“Does that bother you?” Phil asked, eyes still locked on Dan’s face.

 

The Omega’s gaze dropped to the floor, and he chewed his lips for a while before answering.

 

“No,” he finally said. “It makes me worry, especially for them. Not because they have us as fathers but because they’re going to have to grow up hearing all kinds of garbage from other people because of it.”

 

Phil couldn’t argue with that.

 

“The world is a harsh place to grow up in,” he said. It was good to be able to say that out loud now without worrying that he was only adding to Dan’s fears.

 

“God, it is,” Dan sighed. “I don’t want to be one of those overprotective parents who ruins their kid’s childhood by trying to keep them from ever experiencing anything bad. But bloody hell I wish there were some way to actually keep them from ever experiencing anything bad.”

 

“I know,” Phil moaned, dropping his forehead onto Dan’s shoulder. “Like, the rational part of me knows that protecting them from everything would ultimately be terrible for them, but the rest of me kind of wishes we could raise them on a deserted tropical island where they’d never have to know how awful the world really is.”

 

He felt Dan’s shoulders shake with laughter.

 

“You know, I’ve looked up prices for buying a private island before, and I think we could actually afford one, just a little one.”

 

“Nooo,” Phil whined. “Don’t tempt me!”

 

“Hey,” Dan said then, jostling Phil with his shoulder until the Beta raised his head to look at him. “I’ve been thinking about it, and, uh, I think I’m ready to tell everyone.”

 

Phil’s heart leapt in his chest and began pounding rapidly against his rib cage.

 

“Really?” he asked. “Are you sure? Don’t feel like you need to rush. We’ve still got time—“

 

Dan shook his head.

 

“No, I’m sure,” he said. “It’s only a matter of time before I run into some other viewer who won’t be as discreet as the last one, and now that I know that I smell of Alpha too…” He grimaced. “Better to clear the air before any nasty rumors can get started.”

 

“Yeah,” Phil said, giving Dan’s hand a squeeze. “Yeah, that’s true. So…how should we do it?”

 

“I think we should make a video,” Dan replied at once, shocking Phil a little. Clearly Dan had been thinking through a lot of things. He wondered just how early Dan had woken up this morning. “I know, I know,” Dan was continuing, perhaps taking Phil’s expression as skepticism, “It sounds like the most invasive option, but it’s also how we’ve always interacted with our audience best, right? They all became interested in us through our videos, so I think that’s the best way to share this with them as well.”

 

Phil turned that over in his mind. This was a really big step for Dan, not just opening up about such a personal part of their lives but doing it on video? To be honest, it was a big step for him too. Like Dan had said, it would be more invasive than many of the other options they could choose from. He had to make sure they were both really fully on board with what it would entail.

 

“I want to be able to talk openly about the baby as mine,” Phil said after a moment. “So…I want them to know that we’re having the baby together.”

 

Dan chewed on that for a while before nodding.

 

“Should we…tell them we’re together then?” he asked, looking very uncertain.

 

“Are we, um, together?” Phil countered, just as uncertain. Whatever decisions they’d made earlier, they’d both seemed reluctant to give their relationship any sort of definition.

 

Dan shrugged.

 

“More so than not, I think?” he said. “I mean,” he went on immediately, “Do we have to say anything about it, either way? We can just say we’re expecting and let people draw their own conclusions, just like we’ve always done.”

 

Phil nodded slowly. Okay, so yeah, they weren’t defining this thing yet, and Dan was right. Their audience didn’t need to know everything.

 

“Okay,” he said.

 

Dan tilted his head a bit to one side. 

 

“Okay?” he confirmed.

 

“Yeah,” Phil said, accompanying the word with a decisive nod. “We can’t really hide the fact that you’re pregnant, but none of the rest of it is any of their business.”

 

Dan let out a long sigh.

 

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah.” A slow smile crept onto his face. “That’s what we’ll do then.”

 

“All right,” Phil said with an answering grin. Then he pulled his hand from Dan’s and reached for his laptop. “Let’s script us a video.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the lovely art @dnovep made for this chapter: https://twitter.com/dnovep/status/996405113139982336 ! They're also a fic writer themselves, so check out their fic on ao3 @dnovep.


	9. Balance Sheets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They make the announcement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience! This one took longer than expected. If you didn't notice, I posted the meta that I wrote for this fic, so check it out if you're interested, and let me know if there's anything there you'd like to know more about. Also, I have a Twitter account now and will post writing updates there in the future. It is @phan_anonfics. Please give me a follow if you'd like updates! Next chapter on Sunday!

The next week seemed to pass in a blur. They released their song as a charity single and spent several days hyping it online to make sure it sold well, then spent all day on Saturday live-streaming with a bunch of other YouTubers for Stand Up 2 Cancer, filmed their parts for the upcoming YouTube Rewind video, and somewhere in there found time to do two live shows, announce DAPGOOSE, and post three videos.

 

Also, at some point, they’d screwed up their courage to call the real estate agent’s and, with profuse apologies, inform him that the plans to buy a house were back on again.

 

But perhaps some sort of fate was at work because, as it turned out, the very next time they met up with the long-suffering agent just happened to be October 20, the seventh anniversary of the day they’d filmed their very first video together. It also happened to be the day that they finally found their house.

 

They had to sacrifice a bit on location, ending up farther from the center of London than they’d wanted to be, but everything else about the house had been too perfect to pass up on. It was located in a sort of village, full of other young families and a few older people. There were good schools nearby and plenty of green spaces. The house itself was rather new, built only within the last decade, and had a beautiful large garden behind. It had the four bedrooms they’d agreed they wanted, a sleek, modern kitchen, huge bathtubs in the two full bathrooms — it was a bit on the pricey side.

 

Still, as they’d stood side by side in the spacious living room and gazed out the sliding glass doors at the green grass of the garden, it was like Dan could see years into the future. He’d seen himself and Phil picking out colors and furniture and decorating the upstairs bedroom as a nursery. He’d seen them bringing home a tiny, sleepy bundle in the spring and laying it down in the crib there. He’d seen toys strewn across the rugs and a swing set in the garden and a toddler terrorizing the whole house. He’d seen himself and Phil lying exhausted but happy at the end of the day in front of the fireplace.

 

“We could make the study into our office and filming space,” Phil had said, turning away from the view to let his eyes make an entire circuit of the room again. “We could share the master bedroom at first, too, until the baby is old enough to sleep through the night.”

 

They’d gone back and forth a few times about whether they wanted to keep separate rooms like they always had done or if they should have a shared bedroom now. They both liked having their own spaces to retreat to, though, so ultimately they’d settled on separate bedrooms.

 

It wasn’t like they couldn’t still sleep together in a single bed any night they wanted.

 

“That sounds like a good plan,” Dan agreed.

 

Behind them, the front door opened, and they both turned to find the realtor letting himself back in. He was a Beta with a chipper demeanor and, apparently, endless patience.

 

“They said they can have the paperwork ready to go this afternoon, if you’re sure,” he beamed at them, sliding his mobile back into his pocket.

 

Phil had turned to him then, a smile growing on his face as well.

 

“Are we sure?” he’d asked.

 

“Yep,” Dan had grinned.

 

And a few hours later, the house had been theirs. It wouldn’t be ready for move-in for another week or so, but that was all right. They still had a lot to settle with their old landlord; they were moving out early, which he wasn’t too pleased about, but they were more than willing to pay all the penalties and fees stipulated by their contract, so there wasn’t much he could say about it.

 

When they got home that evening, they decided it was time to film The Video.

 

It had become obvious fairly quickly that this wasn’t a script they could whip up in a couple of hours and be satisfied with. They’d hashed out a few more of the details the day that they’d decided to make it, but both had agreed they weren’t happy posting it as it was yet, not to mention the fact that they didn’t want to distract from all of the other things they’d been announcing over the past week.

 

Meanwhile, Dan had been obsessively stalking their viewers on social media ever since the day he’d run into those two (What were their names again?), looking for any sign that the Omega girl had broken her promise. So far, though, there hadn’t been a single peep out of their viewers about Dan being pregnant. There were all the usual conspiracy theories, of course, and a surprisingly strong contingent of people suspecting they were planning to move. He supposed they hadn’t been subtle about expressing dissatisfaction with their current flat as of late. They had decided to announce that they were moving in the same video—might as well get it all out of the way in one go.

 

It took them all evening to film it, and then Phil volunteered to be the one to do the bulk of the editing. Dan would get a crack at it too, of course. This was too important for either of them to do alone.

 

The next morning after breakfast, they both crossposted on all their social media that they were posting a video with an important announcement later in the day. Their posting schedule originally had them posting a gaming video today, but this was obviously way more important. 

Giving people warning was always a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it ensured that they had everyone’s attention when it came time to post the video. On the other hand, it always led to the wildest of speculation.

 

“Five minutes, and there’s already people predicting that we’re splitting up,” Phil called to Dan in the kitchen, where he’d gone to get them both some Ribena.

 

“Give them ten, and half of them will be convinced one of us is dead,” Dan called back, chuckling as he put the pitcher back into the fridge.

 

“I wish I knew that girl’s address,” Dan said when he had reappeared in the lounge, carefully carrying the two brimming glasses. “I’d like to send her a fruit basket or something to thank her for not spilling the beans.”

 

“Virtue is its own reward,” Phil pronounced as Dan set the glasses down on the coffee table, managing to only spill a little of the purple liquid down the sides.

 

Dan rolled his eyes.

 

“Is that something your mum always told you?”

 

“Maybe,” Phil said with a shrug as Dan settled himself back on the sofa and pulled his laptop onto his lap.

 

They both sat in silence for a while longer, Dan scrolling through his Twitter replies to see what people were predicting.

 

“A lot of people think it’s the tickets for the Europe shows,” he muttered after a while, “or more new dates.”

 

“Why would we make a video for that?” Phil asked. Dan glanced over and saw that he’d given up on scrolling and was instead on YouTube watching yet another video of someone playing with a baby sloth.

 

“People aren’t always very logical,” Dan shrugged, entranced by the baby sloth video too. Phil snorted in agreement, and then they both fell silent again as on the screen, the camera zoomed in on the little sloth’s wide-eyed face.

 

It was nearly lunchtime by the time they were both able to dig themselves out of the cute baby animal videos hole. _Oops_ , Dan thought to himself as he stretched and got up from the sofa to head toward the kitchen. At least that was probably better than having spent the last hour obsessing over what people were saying about them on social media. Good thing Phil had shown him that—

 

He stopped dead in his tracks and shot a suspicious glance back over his shoulder at Phil.

 

“Did you show me that sloth video just to distract me?”

 

Phil’s eyes went wide and innocent.

 

“Of course not,” he said, tilting his head to the side and grinning. “I just like looking at baby sloths.”

 

Dan shook his head and started back toward the door. Phil could be a slippery bastard when he really wanted.

 

Not that Dan minded, of course.

 

They cooked lunch together, chatting amiably. Today was the first day in a week that Dan felt like he really had time and space to breathe. Also, time and space to really consider the decision he and Phil had made. He spared a moment from slicing carrots for their vegetable curry to cast a quick look in Phil’s direction. The Beta was holding up the container of curry powder and frowning at the directions on the side of it. Dan smirked a bit and turned back to his carrots.

 

This was nice, cooking together like this. They’d been cooking their own meals a lot more often since finding out he was pregnant. It was the easiest way for him to watch what he ate, and somehow, without Dan asking him to, Phil had put himself on the same diet. Phil had done a lot of things without Dan asking him to… How had he not seen Phil’s declaration coming from miles away?

 

It was all so obvious now that he looked back: the two of them cooking together, shopping together, sleeping together, facing their families together… He hadn’t _asked_ Phil to do any of those things. The Beta had just done them, as though they were a matter of course. Oh, sure, Dan had made it clear that he was glad to have Phil there supporting him through the pregnancy, but he’d left it to Phil to fill in the details of what that would entail.

 

Apparently Phil had decided it entailed a lifelong commitment.

 

Well, okay, maybe that was overdramatizing the facts of the situation. He might, possibly, have a slight issue with being overly dramatic sometimes. Still, he’d been worried when Phil had first blurted out that he wanted to spend the rest of their lives together that whatever feelings had prompted such a decision were only temporary. This whole expecting-a-child-together thing was undeniably fraught with emotion. He couldn’t blame Phil for possibly getting carried away by the excitement and saying things he would later regret, not when Dan himself was currently capable of going from perfect calm to sobbing mess in under five seconds.

 

But while he’d worked on getting said sobbing under control that night, he’d had time to look back over the past couple of months with Phil. The one thing his mind had kept returning to was how Phil was always _there_. No matter the situation, Phil was there at Dan’s side, and it always seemed like he was there because he _wanted to be_.

 

That’s when Dan had realized that he should’ve seen this coming, maybe even before he’d gotten pregnant.

 

Phil’s declaration the other night wasn’t a hasty decision made in the heat of the moment. It had been actual _years_ in the making. Phil had been committing himself to building a life with Dan for a long time now, but perhaps it had happened so gradually that neither of them had taken notice of it.

 

And what about Dan himself?

 

He’d never been much of one for big declarations or lifelong commitments, but maybe getting pregnant had changed that. Or rather, maybe deciding to keep the pregnancy had changed that. Having a child—that was a lifelong commitment in every sense of the word. No matter what happened, he would always be this child’s father, would always have all of the privileges and responsibilities that came with that role. 

 

Once upon a time the permanence of such a decision would have terrified him. Yet, when finally faced with it, it had taken only a matter of days for him to come round to the idea. Maybe he just hadn’t been ready before.

 

Christ, when he and Phil had been together the first time around, he’d still been a _teenager_. He’d been eighteen with less than half a clue who he was as a person and far, far less of a clue what he wanted out of life. No wonder he’d gotten cold feet when it had come to making a commitment. Not to mention he had still been trying to deprogram himself from the lesson that for an Omega like him commitment meant bonding with an Alpha for life. Back then, ideas like marriage and commitment had been all tangled up in his head with the ideas of bonding and mating and breeding, and he’d maybe unintentionally thrown the baby out with the bath water.

 

_Literally_ , he chuckled to himself as he scraped the now-cut carrots into the bubbling pot on the stovetop.

 

So, he’d been afraid to commit to Phil back when he was a teenager and had decided that meant he didn’t want a lifelong commitment at all. But who had told him that his relationship with Phil should be the rod against which he measured all others? Who had told him that the way things had turned out with Phil was the way things would always be?

 

The answer was, no one. No one but himself.

 

It should have been torture waiting all day to post their video so that they could make sure it went up at a time when the majority of their viewers would be available to watch it.

 

Instead, once they were done with lunch, Phil suggested they take a nap, but the moment Dan had pulled the bedroom door shut behind them, Phil had pulled him into his arms and kissed him fierce upon the lips.

 

Dan had kissed back at once, the tiredness that had built up in his body immediately evaporating in the heat Phil’s kisses stirred inside him.

 

“Guess now we have to add ‘curry’ to the list of things that unexpectedly rev Phil Lester’s engines,” Dan chuckled into the Beta’s ear as he felt a hand slip down between them, over his baby bump and then down to rest lightly on his half-hard dick.

 

“Mmm, yes,” Phil murmured back, applying just the faintest of pressure, just enough to send a shock of sensation up through Dan’s abdomen. “It was totally the curry. Had nothing at all to do with the weirdly sexual moaning noises you make when you eat.”

 

“Hey,” Dan objected but then forgot what the rest of his argument against that was going to be because Phil had pressed his palm in harder against him.

 

Phil laughed softly and then walked them both over toward the bed while somehow managing to keep up the maddening pressure of his palm against Dan’s growing erection.

 

Things got a bit clumsy once they were both horizontal. Dan tried to keep kissing Phil while simultaneously trying to pull down his sweatpants to give the Beta better access to his cock. Meanwhile, Phil was still rubbing him off, kissing him back, and trying to shimmy out of his own sweatpants. They were both breathing hard and giggling, and it was hot and funny, and after a minute, Dan just had to pause to kick back his head and let himself take in the moment.

 

“What?” Phil asked breathlessly, pausing at last in his relentless attention to Dan’s erection.

 

“Nothing,” Dan shook his head, gazing up at the Beta with eyes that were leaking little tears. “Don’t stop now, jesus!” And he pulled Phil back down on top of him again, laughing, chest heaving.

 

“Fine, fine,” Phil muttered, though since he followed it up by ripping Dan’s sweatpants off at last and bending his lips down to mouth along Dan’s bonding gland, Dan guessed he wasn’t particularly put out.

 

It took a while longer for them to manage to deal with Phil’s sweatpants and both their underpants, and by that point they were both way too turned on to care that neither of them had done anything about their t-shirts. Phil had the long fingers of one hand wrapped around both their cocks and was tugging at them softly, letting them slide and rub across one another while he scraped his teeth lightly over the skin of Dan’s shoulder.

 

Dan wasn’t doing much of anything other than moaning and thrusting and seeing stars.

 

They both came embarrassingly fast, but maybe that was to be expected considering that neither of them had had a free, uninterrupted moment to get off for an entire week now.

 

“Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Dan cried as he felt Phil’s cock pulsating hot against his own and Phil’s cum spilling over to run down his cockhead and onto his belly. A moment later, the muscles of his abdomen were clenching tight and his own cum was pulsing out onto Phil’s hand and both their cocks and dripping down to pool along with Phil’s somewhere in the region of his belly button. Thank god his shirt had gotten pushed halfway up his chest at some point.

 

Phil was gazing down at him through it all, lips parted to let out his panting breath, eyes fixed hungrily on his every change of expression, darting to take in his every gasp and moan.

 

When he’d jerked them both dry, the Beta sat back on his heels and stared down at Dan with a tired smile.

 

“Ready for that nap now?” he asked.

 

Dan nodded and opened his arms, and Phil sank down between them at once.

 

 

**

 

Dan and Phil of a few hours later, of course, questioned the wisdom of their past selves when they woke to the uncomfortable, scratchy sensation of dried cum on their skin. They also noted that it been pretty idiotic to fall asleep without setting an alarm. They’d managed to sleep past the time they had intended to post their video, though only by about fifteen minutes.

 

“Crap, crap, okay, at least we didn’t tell them a specific time,” Dan mumbled as he scrubbed at his belly with a damp washcloth. “Here,” he said, tossing the washcloth over to Phil, who had been unsuccessfully trying to clean himself up with a tissue.

 

“Thanks,” Phil muttered, wiping himself down just as hastily as Dan had and then dropping the washcloth on the bedside table. Dan made a face but pushed his disgust aside. It could wait, he reminded himself as they both stumbled into their sweatpants and then out the door and toward the lounge.

 

Luckily, they’d had the foresight to upload the video as private earlier in the day, so all they had to do was make it public and then post it on all their social media. By the time everything was in place, they were both breathing as hard as though they’d just finished another round between the sheets.

 

“Ready?” he asked, turning a nervous grin on Phil where he was sat beside him on the sofa.

 

“I am if you are,” the Beta replied, expression betraying just as many nerves as Dan’s.

 

“Okay,” Dan said. “Here goes,” and he hit the button to make the video public. “It’s live,” he breathed, immediately clicking over to the tab where he had a tweet ready to go and pasting the link to the video into it. “And…I tweeted,” he said.

 

“Got it,” Phil said. “Retweeting…”

 

They’d posted joint videos enough times by now that they managed to get everything announced on all their social media within twenty seconds of the video going live.

 

And then, they waited.

 

The video had gone on Dan’s channel because he had the most subscribers, though Phil was planning to link it in the next video on his own channel. They had titled it “Our Biggest Collaboration Ever? (Not clickbait).” The last part had been necessary because everyone they’d suggested the title to had said it sounded very clickbaity.

 

It was pretty short, coming in at just under three minutes. They’d filmed it on the sofa in their lounge, having decided that filming it in either of their bedrooms would be just a bit suggestive, while filming it in the gaming room would just feel out of place.

 

It started out normally enough, with a “Hello, Internet” and a “Hey, guys!” and a few exchanged lines of banter, but they got to the point pretty quickly. No point keeping their audience in suspense any longer than they’d already been.

 

“We’ve got TWO big announcements to make,” Phil had said.

 

“Two for the price of one,” Dan had chimed in. “What a bargain!”

 

This was followed by close-ups of them both faking giant laughs.

 

“Tell them the first announcement, Phil,” Dan had said then.

 

“Okay,” Phil had said, “First of all, we’re moving!”

 

They’d both thrown their hands in the air and grinned big, and Dan couldn’t resist editing in the usual cheering noises. Then they’d talked for a minute or so about how much they were not going to miss their old flat and about how awesome their new house was.

 

“And the back garden is SO BIG!” Phil had gushed. “It’s got room for a swimming pool and an entire team of huskies—“

 

“We’re not getting an entire team of huskies, Phil,” Dan had said with a fond roll of the eyes.

 

“One husky?” Phil had asked, but Dan had shaken his head.

 

“No dogs,” he’d stated firmly, giving Phil a stern look, “at least not yet.”

 

“Oh, right,” and Phil’s face had taken on a conspiratorial expression. “Not until after that OTHER thing happens.”

 

“Think we should tell them now?” Dan had asked, a glint in his eye.

 

“Yeah, I think we’ve left them in suspense long enough.” 

 

The look they’d shared right at that moment was so full of obvious fondness that Dan had been very tempted to edit it out. Phil had, rightly, argued though that it was a little ridiculous to edit out the fond gaze while leaving in the part about them having a baby together.

 

They’d needed a few takes to get this next part right, but in the final video, it looked seamless.

 

They turned toward the camera at the same time with matching grins on their faces.

 

“We’re embarking on our biggest collaboration to date,” Dan had said.

 

“Bigger than DanAndPhilGAMES, TATINOF, and TABINOF combined!” Phil had said.

 

And then in unison, they’d announced it.

 

“We’re having a baby!” they’d cried, and this time they’d edited in cheering and fake confetti and the fireworks graphic and even a nyancat running across the top of the screen for good measure (the inclusion of the nyancat might possibly have been the hill that Phil had decided to die on).

 

The video then cut to Phil pulling out the latest sonogram and holding it up between them.

 

“That’s it, right there,” Dan had said, pointing at the grainy image. “DanAndPhilBABY.”

 

“The most adorable blob in the entire world,” Phil had said fondly.

 

“Look forward to regular updates from Phil on what type of fruit it’s the same size as each week—“

 

“Right now it’s a plum!” Phil had interjected. “Also look forward to updates on Dan’s weird food cravings.”

 

“I don’t have any weird food cravings,” Dan had said. “At least not yet.”

 

Here they’d had the shot zoom in on Dan’s face while he made his usual existential crisis expression before cutting back to a normal shot of the two of them smiling again.

 

“We’re really excited and hope you will be too,” Phil had said with a grin.

 

“Yep!” Dan had agreed. “Let’s just hope I’m not carrying the future antichrist.”

 

“Dan!” Phil had yelped.

 

“Bye!” Dan had called, and then the video had cut to his usual endscreen explosion, except instead of “Danisnotonfire,” it said “DanAndPhilBABY COMING 2017.”

 

The responses started pouring in right away—not surprising, considering how short the video was.

 

“OMFG”

 

“YOU’RE PREGNAT OOH MYG OF”

 

“lol”

 

“WOWPPJFSDJFlLAFLFD”

 

“ew does that mean you had sex”

 

“that house sounds pretty dope ngl”

 

“FUCK! YOU ACTUALLY CAME OUT! OH MY GOD!”

 

“phan is…..real?”

 

“Congratulations!! I’m so happy for you guys!!!!”

 

“what are you gonna name it?”

 

“do you know the designation yet?”

 

“When is it due?”

 

“so you ARE moving! ha! i knew it!”

 

“wait but is it phil’s????”

 

“IS THIS A JOKE?”

 

The responses were as varied and ridiculous as their viewers were, and Dan did find himself extremely tempted to reply to one or two. However, they’d decided that with this video, it was best to just drop it and run. There was very little information about Dan’s pregnancy or the baby that they were willing to share publicly beyond what was in the video already, so other than thanking those who had sent them congratulations, there wasn’t a whole lot either of them could respond to. And the thanks could be saved for the morning, after the general post-announcement chaos had had a chance to settle down.

 

Instead, after scrolling through the initial shock and surprise on Twitter, tumblr, Facebook, and the YouTube comments, they both consciously closed their laptops, turned off their phones, and retreated to Dan’s bedroom.

 

There, they lay down on the bed side by side and stared up at the ceiling.

 

“Well, they all know now,” Dan spoke up first. He was caught off guard by how much his voice shook.

 

“Yeah,” Phil said. “Do you regret telling them?”

 

Dan breathed deeply, trying to calm a heart rate that had skyrocketed the moment he’d hit the button to post the video earlier.

 

“No avoiding it,” he replied.

 

There was a pause, and then he heard the rustle of Phil turning toward him.

 

“No,” the Beta agreed, “but still…do you regret it?”

 

Dan shook his head, still not looking over at Phil. He was trying to focus all his attention on the blank ceiling above him in hopes that it could teach his mind how to be just as blank.

 

“Nah,” he said. “I’m glad we told them. We did it our own way.”

 

He heard Phil draw in a breath and let it out.

 

“I’m glad too,” he said, still turned toward Dan so that he was speaking almost directly into Dan’s ear. “Kinda relieved to just have it out there.”

 

Dan nodded.

 

Yeah, it was a relief, he guessed. At the least, he could stop dreading that the news was going to somehow leak accidentally. They’d leaked their own secret. He wheezed out a little laugh. Oops?

 

“Are you okay, Dan?” Phil murmured beside him.

 

Dan closed his eyes tight.

 

“Just talk to me,” he said. “I need to hear something other than the inside of my own head for a while.”

 

So Phil started rambling in that particularly Phil way where he started out talking about how it would be really cute to get a puppy after the baby was born so that they could watch them grow up together and ended up several minutes later theorizing that dogs were an alien species sent to earth to subjugate humans by becoming so irresistibly cute that eventually humans would do anything they wanted. From there, he moved onto the topic of the Queen’s corgis and then the dogs of various other world leaders, positing that perhaps dogs had a plan to infiltrate human governments at the highest levels.

 

Dan kept his eyes closed and focused his attention on only the sound of Phil’s voice, letting the smooth, familiar tones roll through his ear and fill his brain and blot out all the other thoughts that had been clamoring for his attention, all those words he’d read on his screen, all of those other people’s voices that seemed to be shouting inside his head. Phil’s voice was important than any of them. It was easy to convince his brain that he should be listening to Phil instead. Before long, his heart had slowed and his breathing had evened out and he was drifting in a trance-like state where his only link to consciousness was the constant drone of Phil’s voice.

 

And then he felt it, a strange, fluttery feeling deep in the pit of his stomach that at any other moment he might have taken as anxiety or a mere figment of his imagination. But relaxed as he was now, there was no way it was anxiety, and… There it was again, just the tiniest of ripples, like other things he’d felt before but not quite the same.

 

“Phil,” he whispered, opening his eyes. He didn’t dare move, afraid that the least disturbance would cause him to lose touch with the sensation.

 

“—the Obamas’ dog, Bo— Huh?” Phil said, spluttering to a stop mid-conspiracy theory.

 

“Phil,” he said again just as he felt another tiny flutter inside his abdomen. “I can feel the baby moving.”

 

Phil was dead silent for a moment.

 

“No way,” he breathed at last. “Really? Can I—?”

 

“You can try,” Dan whispered back. “It’s so faint, though, even I can barely feel it.”

 

Nevertheless, Phil rolled a little closer and reached one hand out to rest its warmth across Dan’s abdomen. They lay in complete stillness for several long moments until at last Phil let out a sigh.

 

“I don’t feel anything,” he murmured, his disappointment clear. Dan noticed he left his hand right where it was, though. “What does it feel like?”

 

Dan scrunched up his face, trying to come up with the words to explain it.

 

“It’s like… Like, you know when you get butterflies in your stomach? Imagine that, except imagine that there’s an actual butterfly trapped inside your body, but it’s not upset about being trapped in there? It’s just kind of, uh, fluttering around gently?”

 

“Oh,” Phil said. “That sounds really weird.”

 

Dan breathed out a soft laugh and shook his head a bit. The faint sensations in his abdomen continued, just a little nudge here and there. He wondered how long they would go on for. His books had said that some babies were really active while others hardly moved around at all. Frankly, he had kind of expected their kid to be the latter.

 

“You hear that, kid?” Dan murmured. “Your dad here thinks you’re weird.”

 

“Hey!” Phil cried in a low voice. “I didn’t say that.” He sat up and crawled down to lean over Dan’s belly so that he could speak his next words directly to the baby bump. “I didn’t say you were weird. You are wonderful and special and, in my opinion, the best person in the entire world, okay?”

 

That may have brought just a few tears to Dan’s eyes, but he was grinning too wide to pay much attention to them.

 

“I think they responded by kicking in your general direction,” he said.

 

“Really?” Phil asked, turning an excited gaze up at him.

 

Dan just grinned wider.

 

“They were going to kick anyway, you spoon,” he muttered.

 

Phil didn’t seem to appreciate that, which was how Dan ended up the victim of a surprise tickle attack. Fortunately for him, Phil was way more ticklish if you only knew the right places to go for, so it was all over the minute he managed to get access to Phil’s feet. And then somehow all of the tickling turned to soft caresses and kisses and Phil’s head between his thighs, licking and kissing and sucking until he had his second shuddering orgasm of the day.

 

They shared a lazy shower after that, and by the time they made it to bed, the scary prospect of the whole world knowing their secret was the furthest thing from Dan’s mind.

 

 

**

 

It was late the following morning, and they’d just gotten back from a quick trip down to the corner market to replenish their supply of almond milk. They were making their unhurried way from the tube station toward their flat, discussing possible renovations they could make to the house once the baby was older, when Phil suddenly drew up short beside him.

 

“Dan,” he said under his breath. His tone had gone deadly serious.

 

“What?” Dan asked, turning a worried expression on the Beta. “Is something wrong?”

 

“Look,” Phil urged him, gesturing with his chin toward the front of their flat.

 

Dan’s head whipped around in that direction at once, and what he saw there made the bottom drop out of his stomach.

 

Hunkered down on the front step of their building, accompanied by no less than four huge suitcases, sat probably the last two people he’d ever expected to see there: his younger brother and his Omega mum. His mum had her head in her hands and was clearly sobbing, while his brother had one arm awkwardly draped over her back and was casting panicked glances up and down the street. He spotted Dan and Phil almost at the same moment Dan’s eyes had found him. The relief that filled his expression was palpable.

 

“What the fuck?” Dan said.

 

He rushed over, Phil hot on his heels, and his brother shot to his feet at once.

 

“Thank god you’re finally here,” he said. “Will you please let us in already? And why are your phones off?”

 

“Crap,” Dan said. They’d forgotten to turn them back on again after last night.

 

“Dan?” came a wail from his Omega mum down below. “Dan, is that you?”

 

“Yes, mum,” he replied, darting his own worried glance around. Lots of their viewers knew where they lived, and any one of them could decide to waltz by at any moment. “Why don’t you stand up and—“

 

“I left her,” his mum declared, jumping to her feet and throwing her shoulders back. Her face was a tear-stained wreck. “I left that lying, cheating scum of an Alpha!”

 

Dan’s jaw dropped.

 

“You…what?” His voice was so faint it was fairly audible.

 

“Mum was cheating on her, so she left, so will you please open the door already for the love of god!” his brother whisper-shouted.

 

“That’s right!” his mum chimed in then, tilting her chin up and setting her mouth at a defiant angle. “I’ve left your Alpha Mother…so, can we stay with you for a while?”


	10. Division

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's family in crisis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter on Wednesday! Check my Twitter @phan_anonfics for updates (or just to say hi)!

Phil’s head jerked to the side as yet another group of laughing teenagers walked past, hopefully too caught up in their own conversation to pay much attention to the drama unfolding in front of one particular block of flats. It was midmorning on a Saturday, and the street in front of their building could not have been busier.

 

He turned his head back to where Dan stood gaping at his Omega mum and younger brother. No one had said anything for several seconds, not since Dan’s mum had announced that she’d left her wife and now wanted to move in with them.

 

Omega Howell was stood on the front steps wearing an expression of mixed defiance and uncertainty on her tired face. Adrian, Dan’s brother, was stood beside her, arms crossed over his chest and shoulders hunched. He was currently glowering over at his older brother, who had planted himself at Phil’s side, several paces away from the other two. The stricken expression on his face convinced Phil that he momentarily lacked the brain capacity to take any decisive action.

 

_All right_ , Phil thought, _I guess that means it’s down to me._

 

“Let’s get inside,” he said aloud, stepping forward and reaching for one of the large suitcases that had accompanied their unexpected guests. “Can I help you with your bags?”

 

Those seemed to have been the right words to end the standoff. Omega Howell turned a surprised expression on him, the sort of face one made when a character off another show made a surprise cameo in one’s favorite daytime drama—bewildered but not entirely displeased. He wondered whether she’d temporarily forgotten that he lived here too.

 

“Oh, Phil, yes, thank you,” she stuttered. “Not you, Dan,” she added at once, and Phil half-turned to see that Dan had been going for one of the other suitcases. “Not in your condition. Adrian and I can get the rest.”

 

Phil noted that Dan and his brother both rolled their eyes at this pronouncement. He turned away again to hide the twitch of a grin on his lips. Those two were far more similar than either would like to admit. Phil wasn’t going to be the one to tell them that, though, so he kept his mouth shut and focused on hefting the—oof!—eighty ton bag he’d been going for.

 

Several wheezing, sweaty minutes later found the four of them upstairs in the lounge, having abandoned the suitcases by the front door. Omega Howell, the smallest and weakest of all of them, had lugged the lightest of them up the stairs with Dan hovering ineffectually behind, muttering that he wasn’t _broken_ for god’s sake, he was just _pregnant_ and perfectly capable of carrying a suitcase.

 

That had left Phil and Adrian to manage the last three between them. After an awkward stare down that had lasted way too long for Phil’s comfort, the young Alpha had shrugged and grabbed the extra suitcase, proceeding to drag them both up the stairs at once. Phil raised an eyebrow but was polite enough not to comment on how many times the younger man had to stop and catch his breath.

 

It wasn’t surprising then that Adrian looked very much like he wanted to collapse on the sofa right now, though he also looked as if the day he admitted as much would be the same day it snowed in hell.

 

“Why don’t you two have a seat,” Dan suggested once the last of them (Phil) had limped through the lounge door. “And Phil and I will get you drinks.”

 

He didn’t wait for any response but instead immediately grabbed the Beta’s wrist and yanked him out the door again and down to the kitchen. Phil stumbled along after, kind of wishing that he’d been allowed to have a seat too. This was another thought he kept to himself, though. He could easily guess the real reason Dan wanted him alone in the kitchen.

 

“Holy fuck,” the Omega whispered as soon as the glass door had swung shut behind them. “Holy fuck, Phil, what are we gonna do? They can’t just move in with us!”

 

Phil panted for a moment, weighing his words as he tried to catch his breath. His heart rate still hadn’t slowed down from the unexpected workout.

 

“It’d be a tight squeeze fitting them both here in the flat,” he reasoned when he had enough breath to speak, “but we’re moving to the house in a few days anyway, and there’ll be plenty of space there.”

 

Dan blinked and stared at him as though Phil had just announced he was leaving to join the circus.

 

“Wait, you’re saying— You want them to stay with us?” His tone said that it was the last thing on earth anyone should ever want.

 

Phil shrugged.

 

“Not permanently, no, but I also don’t see us throwing them out on the streets to fend for themselves.”

 

Dan gave him a pained look.

 

“I’m not suggesting _that_ ,” he sighed. “I just don’t see why they can’t stay with my grandparents, or, like, a hotel or something? I wouldn’t mind paying to put them up in a hotel.”

 

Phil bit his tongue yet again. Dan’s mum and brother’s need for new housing was very clearly not the biggest issue hanging over their heads just now, and he suspected Dan knew that. He raised a hand and rubbed his palm up and down Dan’s upper arm a couple of times.

 

“Dan,” he said gently, “why don’t you go out there and talk to her. I can take care of the drinks.”

 

The immediate panic that washed across the Omega’s face told Phil all he needed to know. He squeezed Dan’s arm and then pulled him closer, wrapping him inside the circle of his arms.

 

“Hey,” he murmured into the Omega’s ear, “we’re gonna get through this, all of us. But until you actually talk to your mum and find out what’s going on, you’re going to just keep worrying about it and making up worst-case scenarios in your head. So go talk to her, okay?”

 

Dan’s body deflated like an old balloon, and he slumped against Phil’s chest.

 

“Holy fuck, Phil,” he whispered into the Beta’s shirt. “What if they’re actually splitting up? What if my Alpha Mum really was cheating? What the fucking hell am I gonna do if it doesn’t turn out to all be some sort of misunderstanding?”

 

“Dan,” Phil began again, smoothing a palm up and down the Omega’s back a few times.

 

But he didn’t have to say anything more.

 

“I know,” Dan muttered, dragging himself out of Phil’s embrace. “You’re right. I just…needed to say that out loud.”

 

He stepped away and shook himself. After a moment, his expression looked calmer and more composed.

 

“Right,” he said. “Talking,” and he turned toward the kitchen door.

 

“I’ll be right behind you,” Phil called after him.

 

Dan shot him a look over his shoulder, the panic still evident in his eyes. Phil nodded, stern but encouraging, and then made a little shooing motion. With a sigh, Dan slipped out the door.

 

Phil rushed a bit through making the tea, knowing that Dan really did need some moral support out there right now. Things had always been kind of messy between Dan and his family, but it looked like the situation had just gotten upgraded from mess to full-on environmental disaster.

 

Fortunately, Phil was a tea-making pro, despite preferring coffee himself, and only a few minutes had passed before he was walking into the lounge carefully balancing a tray containing four mugs, a kettle in a tea cozy, a small pot of milk, and a sugar shaker. 

 

A few minutes it might have been, but the scene he walked in on made him feel like he’d missed a key moment in the plot.

 

Dan was perched on the very edge of the grey armchair near the window, hands gripped together so tightly between his knees his knuckles had gone white. Omega Howell was slumped on the sofa with her forehead propped on the palm of one hand, while Adrian slouched against the mantelpiece scowling over at his older brother (again).

 

“—because you pay my school fees doesn’t mean you own me,” he growled just as Phil walked in the door.

 

“Fucking hell, Adrian—“ Dan started and then bit the words off, quite visibly counting to five before he spoke again. “Fine, it’s fine. Just do whatever you want.”

 

Phil made his way silently over to the coffee table and set his tray down. At the sound of the wooden tray clicking against the glass top of the coffee table, Omega Howell’s head jerked up.

 

“Oh, you’ve brought the tea,” she cried, tone so relieved she might as well have just announced that Phil was delivering the cure for some life-threatening disease. “Thank you, Phil.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Phil said, keeping his attention focused on her. “Can I pour yours for you?”

 

“Oh, yes, please,” she replied. It was impressive, really, how well they were both pretending that the room’s two other occupants weren’t shooting eye-daggers at one another mere feet away.

 

“Milk and sugar?” Phil asked when he’d filled her mug.

 

“That’s all right,” she said, taking the mug from him with a small smile. “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Phil replied, glancing over at Dan and Adrian, but since they were still trying to mentally murder one another, he figured their tea could wait. Instead, he poured his own mug, adding a generous helping of sugar and just a dash of milk (he spared a brief thought for the brand new, unopened carton of almond milk abandoned on the kitchen counter) and then took the empty spot on the sofa next to Omega Howell.

 

It was an awkward location for him. He would really have preferred to sit next to Dan, but something about Omega Howell’s posture made him think that it might help the situation for her to have a friendly, calm presence beside her. He hoped, at least, that she would find his presence friendly and calming. Phil didn’t know Dan’s parents all that well, but he and Omega Howell had always had a pleasant relationship.

 

Dan finally ended the staring contest with his brother and looked over toward Phil then. Their eyes met briefly, and Phil gave him another encouraging nod. The Omega closed his eyes, letting out a long sigh. When he opened them again, he turned to his brother with a controlled expression.

 

“What I meant to say is, you are welcome to stay with us if you need to, and mum is as well,” he said in a measured tone. “But if you’d rather stay elsewhere, that is your decision.”

 

Adrian raised an eyebrow and then shrugged and looked away. There was a tense silence while they all waited for him to say something in reply. He didn’t.

 

Omega Howell was the one who finally broke the silence.

 

“I’m sure Nana and Papa would be happy to have you,” she said, “but I’d prefer not to stay with them myself. You know their thoughts on…” Her eyes watered up as her voice trailed off, and she gave a little sniff before continuing, “on _marriage_ ,” she choked out, though Phil strongly suspected she had been about to say a different word entirely.

 

Adrian and Dan both opened their mouths to speak and then both stopped, exchanging another loaded glance. Then, unexpectedly, the Alpha’s angry gaze darted toward Phil.

 

“No offense, but does he really have to be here for this?” he demanded, turning his ire back on Dan. “This is family stuff. You know, private?” He shot another sidelong glance at Phil, a very obvious _take the hint and fuck off_.

 

It felt like Phil’s whole body flushed red. Right. No, yeah. He was absolutely right. Of course the family would want their privacy at a time like this. He started to get to his feet but was stopped by Dan’s soft murmur.

 

“Phil _is_ family,” he stated, voice still carefully controlled. He stared up at his brother with a steady gaze. “And do I need to remind you that you are currently a guest in _his_ home and not the other way around?”

 

Adrian looked like he wanted to argue, but to Phil’s surprise, it was Omega Howell who cut him off.

 

“Your brother’s right,” she said, reaching out and patting Phil’s knee in a gesture that made him freeze up in shock. “Phil has kindly agreed to let you stay in his home, and anyway he’s as good as Dan’s husband.” She turned a very small smile on him, “And the father of my grandchild. That makes him family.”

 

Phil blinked stupidly at her for a moment and then pulled himself together for long enough to return her smile and nod in a way that he hoped looked grateful. His brain had stopped working somewhere around the phrase “as good as Dan’s husband.” Surely Dan hadn’t had a chance to tell her…? No, even if he’d had a chance, his relationship with Phil wasn’t the kind of thing Dan was in the habit of discussing with his parents. She must simply be making assumptions based on the other facts of their situation.

 

Adrian responded to this united front by shoving off from the mantelpiece with an annoyed glare around the room.

 

“Mum,” he said, his expression softening minimally as it landed on his Omega mother, “you’re fine now, right? Don’t need me anymore for the moment? Good. Right. Think I’m going over to Rachel’s. Call me if you need me.”

 

“Adrian—“ his mother tried to say, but he was already out the door of the lounge. They sat and listened to the sound of his footsteps stomping down the stairs and then out the front door. At least he was mature enough not to slam it behind him.

 

“Emotions are high right now,” Omega Howell said after a pregnant pause. “He just needs to blow off some steam. I hope you weren’t too offended, Phil.”

 

“No, I’m fine,” Phil said, finding his voice at last. He looked up and found Dan’s eyes. The Omega searched his face for a moment and then nodded and turned toward his mother.

 

“Phil knows Adrian didn’t mean anything by it, mum,” he reassured her. “More importantly, you still haven’t told me what happened.”

 

Phil decided that this would be a good moment to pour Dan that cup of tea (with a good dollop of milk and just a pinch of sugar). For a little while, the only sound in the room was the clinking of the dishes and then the rustle of the sofa as he stood to carry the full mug over to Dan.

 

Just as he reached Dan’s seat, Phil heard a sob behind him. Dan practically leapt out of his chair and raced over to the spot on the sofa Phil had just vacated. Phil quietly set the ignored mug of tea down on the floor next to the now-empty armchair and then settled himself in it. Honestly, when it came time to decorate the living room at their new house, they needed to make sure to pick a layout that was more conducive to staging family dramas.

 

“Shh, shh,” Dan was murmuring as he held his weeping mother, “I’m here. I’ve got you.”

 

His eyes rose to meet Phil’s again, across the heavy air of the lounge. For just a moment, it was like he was looking through Dan’s eyes and straight down into his soul. The panic was still there, in quite a healthy measure, mingled with hurt and confusion and doubt. Phil tried to imagine what it must be like, comforting your own mother, holding her while she sobbed like a child and you soothed her like a parent. He’d never been through anything like this with either of his own parents, but just the thought of it made him feel like the world could have turned upside down.

 

He stood from the chair and walked over to where Dan sat, leaning forward to give him a squeeze on the shoulder. Even if Phil was family like Dan and his mum had both said, him being here for a moment like this felt like an intrusion. He jerked his head toward the lounge door and Dan grimaced up at him but then offered an answering nod.

 

Phil slipped out of the room as soundlessly as he could and then closed himself up in his own bedroom to wait it out.

 

 

**

 

 

There came a soft knock at his door about an hour later, and when he called “Come in!” Dan stole inside and quietly pulled the door shut behind him.

 

“Hey,” he murmured, slouching over and dumping himself across the end of Phil’s bed.

 

Phil set his laptop aside and gazed down at the Omega lying prostrate at his feet.

 

“Hey,” he said.

 

Dan merely lay there for a bit, breathing softly, so Phil slid his toes forward just enough to wedge them under Dan’s side where they could be warmed by his body heat.

 

The Omega gave a grunt but didn’t move.

 

“Told mum to try to get some sleep on the sofa,” he mumbled finally. “Apparently she didn’t sleep at all last night.”

 

“Okay, I guess we’ll have to keep it down then,” Phil said in an exaggerated whisper.

 

Dan made a half-hearted attempt at a chuckle, but when he didn’t say anything else, Phil continued.

 

“Did you guys come to any decision about her staying with us?”

 

“Yeah,” Dan answered, hauling himself up onto his side so that he could look at Phil. The movement exposed Phil’s previously toasty toes to cold air. He made a pouty face. Dan rolled his eyes and scooted up until Phil’s toes were under his body again. “She’s gonna stay with us until she sorts herself out. Do you think she could stay here in your room until we move to the house? I was just thinking, since we’ve already been sharing my room…”

 

“That’s fine,” Phil said, grinning and wriggling his toes against Dan’s side in an attempt to find one of his ticklish spots.

 

The Omega raised an eyebrow but otherwise showed no reaction.

 

“How about your brother?” Phil asked, pouting again over his failed tickle attempt.

 

Dan let out a sigh gusty enough to puff out his lips.

 

“Who knows?” he said. “He’s still over at his girlfriend’s place as far as I know. He might even end up staying there, if her parents agree. All he was clear on was that he didn’t want to be anywhere near our Alpha Mother.”

 

Phil winced a little and nodded. He kept trying to put himself in Dan and Adrian’s shoes and imagine what it must be like to find out one of your parents cheated on the other, except he honestly couldn’t see either his mum or his dad ever doing that. It wasn’t even that he thought they loved each other too much to hurt each other that way. There was just something about the two of them that fundamentally _fit_ , that made it impossible for him to imagine either one ever _needing_ anyone else.

 

“I confess, I didn’t want to believe she’d really done it,” Dan was saying softly. “I mean, it’s not like I have any delusions about my Alpha Mum being above such things, but you know, for my Omega mum’s sake I really hoped it was a misunderstanding.” He closed his eyes and shook his head.

 

“I can’t imagine… Y’know, it’s different when you’re bonded. I know I’ve never been bonded, but, like, I remember what it was like back when I was with Ellen and we would scent each other. If I ever caught the tiniest whiff of another Omega on her, it drove me crazy. Same for her. There’s just something instinctual in your brain when you’re an Alpha or Omega that makes it hard not to be jealous. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to have your bond mate _actually_ cheat on you.”

 

Phil stayed silent. As a Beta, he could only ever know about such things second-hand. Moments like this made him glad he hadn’t been born an Alpha or Omega. Just the idea of someone he loved cheating on him was bad enough without biology and bonding and all that coming into the picture.

 

“But, yeah, she said my Mum’s been ‘working late’ a lot in recent months. And then she noticed some of Mum’s clothes were missing, and when she asked her about it, Mum said she’d left them at work coz sometimes she liked having a change of clothes?” Dan’s lip curled in disgust at his Alpha Mum’s transparent lies. “But, yeah, I guess it’s got worse recently, and Mum was staying late almost every day, so she finally confronted her about it, and…” He trailed off, his gaze sliding down to focus on the blue and green squares of the duvet beneath him.

 

“She confessed?” Phil prompted gently.

 

He nodded, not looking up from the duvet.

 

“She’s been secretly seeing some Beta,” he whispered. When his eyes made their way back up to Phil’s face, they were sparkling with furious tears. “She came here to our home and screamed at me about making you commit or finding an Alpha, and all that time she was cheating on mum with a Beta? Can you fucking believe—?” His voice disappeared, whited out by the rage that Phil could see filling his eyes

 

Being reminded of that day stirred a worry from the back of Phil’s mind. He frowned, wondering if he should bring it up. Did Dan really need any extra worries on his plate right now? Maybe not, but better to discuss it and be prepared than end up getting caught unawares.

 

“Does your Alpha Mum know that your Omega mum is here?” he asked.

 

Dan’s furious expression opened up into surprise for a moment before crumpling into a troubled one.

 

“I don’t know, actually,” he said after a pause. “My Omega mum just said they had a huge fight last night and that she and Adrian packed and left this morning. I think she might have just left without telling her?”

 

Phil hid a grimace. That’s what he’d been afraid of.

 

“Do you think your Alpha Mum might come here looking for her?”

 

That had Dan sitting up at once.

 

“Shit,” he whispered. “I didn’t even think of that.”

 

“What do you want to do if she does come here?” Phil asked, trying not to sound as grim as he felt.

 

Dan shook his head, eyes wide and staring.

 

“I… I mean, I never even got a chance to tell them about not coming to see them, so I don’t think they even know… I mean, just now mum didn’t even seem to notice the baby’s scent on me, but she’s focused on other things, obviously…” His breathing had gone heavy, and Phil could recognize the signs of an oncoming panic.

 

He leaned forward to caress a hand up and down Dan’s forearm, hoping to soothe him enough that his distress wouldn’t reach that level.

 

“It’s okay, Dan,” he murmured. “If she comes here, we’ll figure something out. We don’t have to let her in, you know. We can tell her to meet us somewhere else, like you planned.” He rubbed the skin of Dan’s arm a few more times and watched as the Omega visibly took control of his breathing.

 

“You’re right,” he said, sucking in a breath and blowing it out between his lips. “You’re right. We’ll figure something out. Oh, god, Phil.” Even though his breathing had slowed somewhat, his eyes were still open wide. “This couldn’t have come at a worse time. With the house and the baby and the tour and the book and— Like, _fuck_ , just one more thing… If there’s even one more thing, I don’t know how I’ll— I don’t think I can— _It’s just too much_.” The Omega’s voice broke on the last word, and he pulled his knees up and dropped his head onto them. “I can’t do this,” Phil heard him sob into the fabric of his jeans.

 

He was out of bed at once, tossing the duvet aside and scrambling down to where Dan was hunched at the end of the bed. He flung an arm around his shoulders and pulled him in close, and Dan pressed his face into the Beta’s shirt and let go. His whole body shook with his choked sobs, and Phil knew he was still trying to hold back, trying to keep quiet to let his mum rest undisturbed in the other room.

 

He didn’t know how long they sat like that, Phil’s fingers massaging the back of Dan’s neck and smoothing down his hair, lips alternately whispering comforting nonsense and pressing kisses against the top of his head while Dan sobbed out all of the emotion of the past few weeks. Eventually, though, the Omega’s tears slowed and then stopped completely, and Phil’s gentle kisses roamed a little further, claiming Dan’s temple and his forehead and the edge of one eyebrow.

 

“Can we lie down?” came Dan’s torn voice after a while.

 

“Yeah,” Phil assented, pressing one more kiss to the warm skin beside the Omega’s eye and then pulling him up the bed with him. It took only a minute to rearrange themselves under the colorful duvet, Dan curled up on his side and Phil wrapped around his back. One of the Beta’s arms was wedged between their bodies and the other he draped over Dan’s middle, allowing his hand to rest lightly atop his round abdomen.

 

Dan’s hand came up to lie on top of his, cradling the hand that cradled Dan’s baby bump.

 

“Let’s make a promise,” Dan said then.

 

“Mmm?” Phil asked, burying his nose in the soft skin at the nape of the Omega’s neck. He was already beginning to feel drowsy, exhausted by the past few hours.

 

“Whatever problems we have, you and me, if we fight or hurt each other or split up or even end up hating each other, let’s leave our kid out of it, yeah?” Dan said, stroking Phil’s knuckles lightly with his fingers. “Like, I don’t want our child to ever have to get stuck between us like this. I don’t ever want them to feel like they have to choose sides between their dads.”

 

“Yeah,” Phil murmured against the skin of Dan’s neck. “I can promise that.”

 

“Me too,” Dan whispered, wrapping his fingers around Phil’s hand and squeezing it.

 

“Let’s make another promise too,” Phil added after a moment’s thought.

 

“What’s that?” Dan asked, words slurred in a way that told Phil he was getting sleepy too. If Phil was exhausted, he could only imagine how tired Dan must be.

 

“To just be honest with each other,” he murmured, pulling Dan tighter against him. “Even if one of us starts having feelings for someone else or starts thinking we want to change the way things are between us, let’s just talk about it and figure out what to do together. Let’s…let’s just promise that whatever decisions we make about us and our family, we make them together.”

 

He felt Dan’s chest expand with a deep breath, filling Phil’s embrace just that little bit more until he slowly let the air out again.

 

“Yeah,” Dan murmured back. “I like that.”

 

Phil closed his eyes and burrowed his face in closer to Dan’s neck.

 

“Together,” Dan repeated, but the word was so indistinct, Phil wasn’t entirely sure he’d heard it.


	11. Adjustment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Sunday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Next chapter on Saturday! Check my Twitter @phan_anonfics for writing updates or just to say hi. :D

It wasn’t until Dan and Phil went to bed that night that they finally remembered to turn their phones back on. By then it had been a fully twenty-seven hours since they’d last been in contact with the outside world.

 

The moment both their mobiles were back on, both devices started buzzing with what felt like a non-stop stream of notifications.

 

“Holy fucking—“ Dan muttered under his breath as he watched text message after text message after Twitter notification appear and then scroll up the screen. “I guess we should have considered the fact that a lot of our friends and acquaintances didn’t know about the baby yet either,” he said as he saw an emoji-laden text from Louise appear and then darken as it was pushed up by a Twitter reply from some verified account he didn’t recognize. He groaned, “And a bunch of random companies and other complete strangers.”

 

“Oh, god,” he heard Phil moan. “I’ve just got a notification for a Twitter reply from ‘Pornhub Aria.’ Why would someone at Pornhub want to congratulate us about having a baby?”

 

Dan shrugged, not looking up from the horrifying series of messages on his own screen.

 

“I mean, to be fair, I think impregnation is a legitimate kink.”

 

“Ughhhh,” was the only response he got to that, and it made him chuckle. He wasn’t positive, but it might have been the first time he’d laughed all day.

 

He and Phil had napped for a couple of hours before waking to the smell of fried meat permeating the flat. They’d wandered down to the kitchen to find Dan’s Omega mum stood in front of the stove frying up three hamburger patties. On the nearby countertop, she’d laid out hamburger buns, lettuce, sliced tomatoes and onions, pickles, sliced cheese, and a whole array of condiments. Later, they would discover that she had homemade chips baking in the oven as well. Dan was sure that at least three-fourths of those ingredients had not been present in their kitchen earlier in the day.

 

“Mum,” he said when he found his voice again. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

 

She turned to favor them with a smile that was just a shade too bright.

 

“Oh, please,” she said, turning back to her work. “I’m your Omega mum, Dan. Let me spoil you a bit. Lord knows I haven’t had a chance to spoil anyone else lately. Adrian won’t eat a thing I cook anymore, and…” The pause was only momentary, but none of them could help noticing it, “and it’s usually just me at home for dinner these days.” 

 

“Well, it smells delicious,” Phil interjected smoothly before anyone had too much time to dwell on that. “Thank you very much for cooking for us, Omega Howell.”

 

“Please,” she tossed over her shoulder, “Call me Karen.”

 

“Thank you, Karen,” Phil said. “Is there anything we can do to help?”

 

“Of course,” she said in a very mum-like tone. “If one of you boys wouldn’t mind setting the table, perhaps the other could see to our drinks?”

 

And that’s how, a few minutes later, Dan found himself sitting down to the first family dinner he’d had since… Well, he couldn’t entirely remember the last time he’d sat down to a family dinner. His and Phil’s dinners almost exclusively took place in front of the TV, even on the rare occasions that they had guests over. It was weird, almost, using the table in their lounge as an actual dinner table for once.

 

They’d talked about upgrading to newer and nicer furniture when they moved to the new house, and as his Omega mum asked Phil to say grace before their meal, he couldn’t help picturing a similar scene four or five years down the road: him and Phil and their little one sat around a sleek (oak? birch? or something more modern-looking like steel or plastic?) dinner table, sharing a dinner that they’d all cooked together as a family.

 

They probably wouldn’t be saying grace, though. He had to hold in a smile as Phil somewhat hesitantly addressed God with a few general words of thanks. His mum had never been that religious, though she’d been raised that way by his grandparents. He almost sighed as he remembered her pointing out that she wasn’t likely to get sympathy or refuge from her parents. They were of the very old-fashioned sort who saw divorce as a crutch only for the most spiritually lazy, uninterested in the sacrifice and discipline required to repair a broken marriage.

 

He shouldn’t have needed her to point that out to him. This was his own family. He should have remembered it himself.

 

“Dan?” 

 

He opened his eyes and looked up to see that Phil and his mum had already started serving themselves from the dishes in front of them.

 

“Oh, sorry,” he mumbled, breaking eye contact and reaching for the nearest dish, which happened to hold the lettuce.

 

He did his best to pay attention after that instead of letting himself wander in the desert of his own thoughts. Phil was working hard to keep the conversation going despite both Howells’ obvious lack of enthusiasm, telling harmless anecdotes from the past few weeks, like the silly argument he and Dan had had over two opposing brands of baby cot. Dan helped out as much as he could, though he kept getting lost in how weird it felt to be having dinner with just his mum and Phil. 

 

He wondered how long she was going to take to sort out her life and then immediately felt guilty about it. She’d put up with far worse from him over the years.

 

After dinner, she wanted a shower, so they helped her drag her suitcases down to Phil’s room (and this time he helped, against her protests). Phil grabbed a bunch of his clothes and stuff and carried it off to Dan’s room while Dan and his mum stripped Phil’s bed and put on fresh sheets and pillow cases.

 

“We can wash the duvet cover tomorrow,” Dan told his mum after they’d finished making up the bed. “Hope you don’t mind it being slightly used tonight.”

 

She let out a low chuckle, her voice slightly husky from the years she’d spent as a smoker.

 

“I don’t mind. Smells like you two had a nice cuddle in here earlier,” she said, gently jabbing him in the ribs with one elbow.

 

To his horror, he actually blushed.

 

“Maybe,” he muttered. “Uh, I’m gonna go set out a clean towel for you in the bathroom,” and then he made his escape.

 

Cuddling was fine, but it had just occurred to him that, if his mum ended up staying for a while, he and Phil were probably, at some point, going to have to have sex while his _Omega mum_ was in the house with them. He shuddered at the thought. It had been one thing for him and Ellen to fool around in his bedroom back when he was still in high school, knowing his parents were just downstairs. That was an unfortunate but unavoidable part of being a teenager, having to make do with getting off when and where you could.

 

But he was an adult now, spoiled by years of living in his own home with no one but Phil to overhear his sexual exploits, and with Phil, of course, it was different. Phil was just… Well, it didn’t matter if Phil heard because… He frowned a little as he set the towel down on the toilet seat and then made his way back out of the bathroom. He’d never considered before how little it had bothered him to have Phil around when he was hooking up with other people. Or vice versa.

 

In fact, there had been this one time in particular—and Dan hadn’t thought of this in years, wow—that Phil had had some Alpha over while Dan had been in his own room next door. He could hear _everything_ through the thin walls of the flat: the low rumble of two masculine voices, each curling around indistinct words of desire, the soft thud of two bodies hitting the bed, the creaking of an overloaded bed frame, the Alpha’s grunts, Phil’s moans. Every sound he heard, he’d told himself he should stop—put in his headphones and listen to music, move down to the lounge, leave the flat entirely.

 

Instead, he’d listened, and at the first, low whimper from Phil’s throat (he _knew_ that sound, knew the precise shade of lust that colored the Beta’s gaze as he stared up at you with eyes full of trust and desire), he’d shoved his hand down his pants and pulled one off to the sound of Phil having vigorous sex with an Alpha next door. The next day, he’d worried things would awkward. After all, there was no way Phil could have expected him not to hear all of that. Instead, the next day they’d simply woken and gone about their normal lives (and Dan had never seen or heard that particular Alpha ever again).

 

Thinking back on it, he couldn’t imagine doing something similar now. The idea of Phil having sex with someone else while he was in the next room was disturbing in a way it hadn’t been in a long time. Or perhaps it was simply the idea of Phil having sex with someone else at all…

 

“Phil,” he asked once he heard the shower turn on and was certain his mum was in no danger of hearing this conversation. They’d retreated into his bedroom and shut the door, giving both his mum and themselves some privacy.

 

“Hm?” Phil asked from where he was curled up with a book on Dan’s bed.

 

“Did it ever bother you when I brought other people home with me?” he said as he settled on the bed next to Phil.

 

“You mean, like, did I get jealous?” Phil asked, frowning as he set his book aside and rolled onto his back so he could better see Dan’s face.

 

“No,” Dan said, then paused and considered it. “Well, that too, actually. But I meant more, like, did you feel awkward about it? Like…if you could hear me or them or…you know, just knowing what we were doing?”

 

Phil’s forehead furrowed deeper as he considered the question. They’d discussed it once, long, long ago when they’d both started dating again after getting over their breakup. They’d had a whole “I don’t mind you seeing other people” and “It’s healthy to see each other moving on” and “This is your home as much as it’s mine, so don’t worry about me” conversation and then never needed to talk about it again.

 

“I mean,” Phil said after a while, “I guess it was sort of weird at first because I remembered…” He came to a stop and then looked up at Dan with a puzzled expression. “Are you sure you really want to know this? It’s kind of irrelevant now, right?” He gave a dismissive shrug.

 

Dan bit his lip. It wasn’t so much that he needed Phil to bare his soul and confess everything he’d felt over the past five years. What he really wanted was to work out how he himself felt.

 

“It’s just, like, isn’t it weird that it was never that weird? For either of us? Like, our relationship back then was really…intense…and then we just sort of…? Moved on? I just started thinking about it, about all those times you brought someone else home and I could, uh— Y’know, I knew what you were doing, but I never cared? But when we were dating back then, I would get so jealous?”

 

Phil seemed to consider his words for a while, regarding the ceiling with a thoughtful expression.

 

“Well,” he said slowly, “We had agreed that we still wanted to be best friends and flatmates and do YouTube together…and that those parts of our relationship were more important to us than the romantic bits. I always…assumed that’s why you weren’t jealous of me sleeping with other people? Because we got to keep our favorite parts of each other?”

 

Dan raised his eyebrows and stared at Phil for a long moment. Then he flopped down onto the bed beside him. He hadn’t considered it from that point of view. So, what had changed? Why was he suddenly feeling differently about Phil? Was it because the romantic bits had become as important to him as the rest of it?

 

“What about now?” he asked after a while.

 

“You mean…if we slept with other people now?” Phil asked, his tone full of caution.

 

“Yeah,” Dan said, turning his neck so that he could see Phil’s face again. The Beta looked troubled. “I mean, we agreed to be exclusive while I’m pregnant, but what about after? I don’t know if my jealousy is going to come back, now that we’re sort of together again, but…I think there’s a possibility it will?”

 

He watched a variety of emotions flit across Phil’s face before the Beta finally spoke again.

 

“I’m not really interested in sleeping with other people right now, but I’ll let you know if I ever am, and we can discuss it,” he said, turning his head to the side to meet Dan’s eyes. “How about you?”

 

The question sounded like a challenge, and Dan wanted to kick himself. Why had he even started this conversation? He didn’t want to sleep with other people. Frankly, it had been exhausting having to constantly get to know new people and then figure out whether or not he wanted to have sex with them and vice versa. It was a relief, really, having a steady source of sex now. He’d even gone so far as to delete the Tinder app from his phone.

 

He should have just not even brought this up, but some part of him needed to know—not the answers to all the questions he’d just asked Phil. No, not all of that. He needed to know what his real feelings for Phil were. 

 

“I don’t want to sleep with other people either,” he said. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even brought it up. I’m just…”

 

“Just what?” Phil prompted, his voice soft. He reached a hand across the bed to squeeze Dan’s fingers where they rested at his side.

 

“Just…what are we?” he asked. And, god, did he really need to force this conversation now? Of all moments? With his jilted mum in the shower next door and his brother having all but run away from home and him and Phil juggling more balls than either of them could ever hope to catch? Tomorrow, they were going to a goddamn international awards show for gods’ sake. They were going to appear on stage live in front of millions just after announcing that they were expecting a baby, and in five days they were moving into an entirely new house, but here he was starting a DTR at 9:30 on a Saturday evening.

 

Phil’s eyebrows rose up toward his hairline, and he studied Dan’s face for a while with a puzzled expression.

 

“I’m not really sure,” he said after a while. “Your mum said that I’m basically your husband.”

 

Dan swallowed and ripped his eyes away from Phil’s steady gaze. Instead, he looked up at the white popcorn of his ceiling.

 

“Yeah, she did say that.”

 

_Husband_. What a weird word. It sounded weirder when he tried to imagine it applying to Phil…or to himself. But what word didn’t sound weird? Boyfriend sounded kind of ridiculous and in some way not _enough_. Partner? It encompassed more of what they were to each other: partners in parenthood, partners in business, partners in life. Still, there was something about it that sounded too aloof…and too limiting. Phil was _so much_ of his life. What word meant that someone was so woven into the very fabric of your existence that to be apart from them felt something akin to missing a limb?

 

“I don’t know why it matters to me so much to give this thing between us a definition,” Dan told the ceiling. “Especially considering how much I hate labels. I think I’m just…rattled by this whole thing with my parents. I mean, why do people even get married if it’s just going to end up like this?”

 

_Why do we let ourselves get so attached to other people that even the thought of parting from them feels like it could kill us?_

 

“Maybe now isn’t the best time to have this conversation,” Phil said then, echoing Dan’s earlier thoughts.

 

“Yeah,” Dan agreed. “Yeah, maybe not.”

 

Maybe he could put all of these questions on hold for a more stable time in their lives, for some moment when they had the space to really explore their thoughts. _Maybe sometime in our forties or fifties, once our kid has grown up and moved out of the house._

 

“But, Dan,” the tone of Phil’s voice made Dan turn his head to look at him once more. “I’m here no matter what. Okay? Even without a label or a definition or whatever,” and he squeezed Dan’s again.

 

“Okay,” Dan answered, squeezing Phil’s hand back. And maybe that could be enough, more than enough even, for now. “Me too.”

 

His mum had knocked on the door then to let them know she was going to bed, and by the time they had both bid her good night, the mood had shifted and the moment had passed. It was a short time later that they made the fateful decision to turn their phones back on, when Phil stretched and yawned and set aside his book saying they might as well turn in early too.

 

They’d been staring at their endlessly-buzzing phones for about a minute when Phil uttered a soft “Oh, crap.”

 

“I’ve got a voicemail from Marianne,” he added.

 

“Me too,” Dan said a moment later when the notification popped up on his screen.

 

When they played the messages back, they found they’d received twin voicemails, each slightly edged with a scolding tone, letting them know their manager had received a couple of business enquiries on their behalf, and wouldn’t they like to call her back at some point? When they checked their missed calls, they found they had two each from her, both spaced twelve hours apart.

 

“Guess we’ve a lot of messages to return in the morning,” Phil groaned softly when their phones had finally calmed down again. “We’ll have to get up extra early if we’re going to do that and also make the Teen Awards by noon.”

 

“Ughhh,” Dan sighed, rolling himself up in the duvet and pulling a pillow over his head. “Can’t everything just stop for, like, one day? Or maybe even just slow down a bit?”

 

“Oy,” came Phil’s voice from somewhere above him. “You can’t keep all the covers for yourself.”

 

“Says who?” Dan grumbled, pulling the duvet even tighter around his body.

 

Then he felt it being tugged away from him. He did his best to maintain his grip, but Phil had the advantage of surprise, so a moment later Dan found himself cold and exposed to the open air. A brief tug-of-war ensued, which ended with both of them lying on the bed, panting and grinning at each other stupidly.

 

“Hey,” Dan breathed when he had enough air again. “Thanks.”

 

“For what?” Phil asked, sitting up quickly and focusing his attention on spreading the duvet out over both of them.

 

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you distracting me on purpose,” Dan replied. “And my mum, too. At dinner. Like, I know this isn’t your crisis. There’s no reason you should have to deal with any of this, but I appreciate the fact that you are anyway.”

 

“Well,” Phil said, laying himself back down on the pillows and turning to face Dan. “I know you’d do the same for me.”

 

Then he leaned over, brushed a good night kiss across Dan’s lips, and turned off the lights.

 

Dan had expected to lie awake for hours more, brooding over everything they’d just discussed and all of the ups and downs of the past forty-eight hours. Instead, the moment the lights were out, he felt his eyes dropping closed, and then he had no memory of what came after that because he had already drifted off into oblivion.

 

 

**

 

 

They did rise very early the next morning, yet somehow Dan’s mum still beat them into the kitchen. It was his nose that woke him rather than the alarm he’d set. It had caught the scent of sausages and butter and maybe tomatoes?

 

Beside him, Phil was stirring too, nose raised to scent the air above him, and a second later his eyes had popped open. Without exchanging a word, they both stumbled out of bed and down to the kitchen to find Omega Howell stood at the stove again. This time, she appeared to be preparing a full English breakfast for them, complete with fried eggs, toast, sausages, mushrooms, and tomatoes. She’d also made a full pot of coffee and set out glasses and plates on the countertop.

 

“Mum…” he croaked in his broken morning voice.

 

She didn’t turn around this time but merely greeted them in an overly cheery voice.

 

“Morning, boys,” she said. “Would you mind setting the table again?”

 

Dan made a mental note to have a talk with her about this later…at that yet-to-be-determined point when he actually had free time again. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate her cooking for them, but it felt a little bit too much like regressing to his teenage years. They were grown adults perfectly capable of sharing the housework equally—not to mention the fact that all of the fried food was definitely _not_ on his list of pregnancy-approved meals.

 

The rest of the day passed in something of a blur. After breakfast, they responded to as many of yesterday’s messages as they could before dashing out the door to make it to the arena in time for all the pre-show hoopla. While Dan took a minute in front of a tiny bathroom mirror to try to make his hair look presentable, Phil tweeted something about the food backstage, the first noise either of them had made on social media since posting their big video.

 

He got a predictably dramatic wave of responses, ranging from the expected questions about why they’d disappeared to demands for selfies with various celebrities who were also present backstage. Selfies there certainly were, though a lot of their time backstage was spent in receiving congratulations from almost anyone and everyone they ran into. Some they were happy to hear from—mostly former colleagues from Radio 1—and some just felt surreal, like when he crossed paths with Joe Jonas, who actually put out a hand and caressed his baby bump as a form of greeting

 

“Oh, sorry,” the short Beta exclaimed, snatching his hand back. “Probably should have asked first. I just, uh, get a little overeager when it comes to babies.”

 

“Hi,” Dan managed, wondering if this was just some sort of weird pregnancy dream he was having. “I’m Dan.”

 

“Joe,” the singer replied with a sheepish expression and held out a hand to shake.

 

Not too long after that Dan found himself walking out on stage with Phil to accept their joint award for “Best Vlogger,” an award they’d presented twice to other people in previous years. The arena was packed with a huge crowd of screaming people, all cheering just for them, and Phil said something about sawing the award in half, and then in the blink of an eye it was over.

 

Backstage again, there were more congratulations, more surreal celebrity encounters (including actual Niall Horan wishing them and their baby well), and then finally, finally they were free to escape home again.

 

“Remind me never to agree to attend another awards show,” Dan moaned into Phil’s shoulder in the back of their Uber home.

 

“Too late,” Phil whispered back, “We’ve already agreed to do another one next month.”

 

“Noooo,” Dan groaned, rocking his head side to side, the response was only barely exaggerated.

 

The driver had just let them out in front of their flat when Dan’s stomach growled loudly and he had the sudden thought that nothing in the world would taste better than a big bowl of muesli right now.

 

“Just gonna pop down to the corner store really quickly,” he told Phil, who had been about to start off toward their front door.

 

“What? But we just went yesterday,” the Beta frowned at him, turning away from the door.

 

“I know, I know,” Dan said. “But I really want some muesli. Anything I can get you? Chocolate maybe?” Sugar was always the best way to distract Phil.

 

“A bag of dinky deckers?” Phil asked, his face brightening into a hopeful grin.

 

Dan rolled his eyes, but the truth was that Phil’s weakness for sweets was one of the qualities he secretly found endearing. As he made his way down to the shop, he pulled out his phone and scrolled through their recent mentions, chuckling at some of the replies. Someone had made [_an edit of what the two of them would look like spliced together_](https://twitter.com/danielhowell/status/790216696715964416) as a response to their joint award. It was predictably horrifying but also kind of hilarious. He replied to it and then noticed that at least three fourths of the other replies were something along the lines of “That’s what Dan and Phil’s child is going to look like!” 

 

He shuddered and hoped for their child’s sake that wasn’t true.

 

Not two minutes after he’d stepped into the store, he heard giggling nearby and turned to see two teenaged Omegas staring over at him and whispering between themselves. When they noticed him looking, one raised their head and took a step toward him.

 

“Hi, Dan, um,” they said, casting a nervous glance back at their friend. “Can we get a picture?”

 

He plastered on his public smile.

 

“Of course!” he said, taking the phone they handed him and then crouching down to get in shot with the two diminutive teens. He wasn’t too surprised when they both let out small gasps. _Thank god we announced the pregnancy at least_ , he thought to himself as he snapped the picture and then stood upright again.

 

“Thank you so much,” the Omega gushed, taking their phone back. “Um, and congratulations on the baby.”

 

“Yes, congratulations!” the other one added in a breathless voice.

 

He thanked them and then they politely made themselves scarce while he grabbed his items and hurried over to the counter. He was at least 99% sure they’d smelled the Alpha scent on him. He supposed that particular bit of information was going to be all over the internet within the next hour.

 

When he’d made back to the safety of the flat again, he found Phil and his mum seated on the sofa together in the lounge sharing a bottle of champagne. His mum was holding the hefty green circle of their award and studying it with interest.

 

“Congratulations, love,” she called to him when he stepped into the room. “I bought some champagne to celebrate. Hope you don’t mind, but I did get you some non-alcoholic cider as well. Come have a toast with us.”

 

Okay, so maybe having his mum living here wasn’t exactly a bad thing.

 

He joined them on the sofa once he’d fixed his bowl of muesli, and the three of them toasted to Dan and Phil’s award and to the baby and to run-ins with viewers and to muesli and to chocolate (that was Phil’s toast) and to the Jonas brothers (that was Dan’s) and all the wonders of parenthood. It wasn’t long before Phil and his mum were both tipsy and giggling.

 

Dan set aside his glass of cider and let out a sigh of fond exasperation.

 

“Don’t worry,” he said loudly to his bump, looking down and giving it a loving pat. “We’ll make our own fun without them.”

 

“Aww, Dan,” Phil pouted, standing up from his spot at the other end of the sofa and shuffling over to plonk himself down in Dan’s lap. The Omega blushed a little but tried not to think to hard about the fact that his mum was sat _right there_ next to him. “You’re having fun too, right?”

 

“I am, I am,” Dan assured him, snaking his arms up and around Phil’s waist. “But weren’t you supposed to do a liveshow in a bit?”

 

The Beta’s eyes went comically wide.

 

“Oh no,” he whispered. “I can’t do a liveshow drunk.”

 

“Time to sober up then,” Dan told him in his best stern parent voice. He shook his head in fake disappointment, though his lips were twitching with laughter.

 

“I’ll make some coffee,” Dan’s mum said from his other side, and she pushed herself up from the sofa and headed off into the kitchen.

 

“I can’t believe that whole pregnancy food craving thing turned out to be real,” Phil murmured, leaning in to press a kiss against his nose the moment Dan’s mum had gone. “Leave it up to you to crave something boring and healthy like _muesli_.”

 

“What?” Dan said. Damn. He hadn’t distracted Phil as well as he had hoped. “That wasn’t a pregnancy craving. I just… I mean, I just wanted… Oh crap. It was a craving, wasn’t it?”

 

Phil giggled.

 

“It’s probably because you’ve gotten the baby addicted to health foods,” he said. “Forty-eight hours without granola and it throws a tantrum.”

 

“We’ve created a monster,” Dan agreed in mock horror. “Come on,” he said, leaning in and pecking Phil’s cheek. “Let’s make this room look a bit less like we’ve just had a drunken rager before you do your liveshow.”

 

 

**

 

About an hour later found Dan and his mum banished to the kitchen to work on dinner while Phil got his liveshow under way in the lounge. He’d had a big mug full of coffee and splashed some cold water in his face, and they’d pronounced him close enough to sober that the viewers would never know the difference.

 

“Dan,” his mum called over her shoulder as she cleaned out the big pot they were going to use for lentil stew. He’d explained to his mum about being careful with his eating habits, and between the two of them they’d managed to work out some compromise meals. Tonight’s would be the first of them. 

 

“Hm?” he asked from where he was pulling a bag of carrots out of the refrigerator’s vegetable drawer.

 

“You don’t mind my being here, do you?” she continued in a voice that was a little too overtly casual.

 

“No,” he answered at once, closing the refrigerator door and standing upright. “Of course not.”

 

“Are you sure?” she asked, shutting off the tap and turning around to really look at him. “I know it’s not easy having to share your home with a parent when you’re already an adult.”

 

“Mum,” he leaning back against the side of the fridge. “It’s fine. Really. And like we talked about, we’ll be moving to the new house soon, where it’ll be easier for all of us to have our own space.”

 

She took a deep breath and then pursed her lips in a troubled expression.

 

“That sounds nice,” she said in a cautious tone, “but I don’t want to intrude. You and Phil are just starting out this new phase of your lives, and I can’t help wondering if maybe I’m getting in the way of that. This is your last chance to just be a couple before you become a family of three.”

 

That thought certainly gave him pause. And maybe that’s why he’d been feeling so much urgency lately to figure out what he and Phil meant to each other. Once the baby arrived, everything would change again. It really would be years, maybe even decades before they’d have a chance to figure out who they were as just Dan and Phil again.

 

He shook his head. So what if he and Phil still had some stuff to work out? His mum being here didn’t stop them doing so. Besides, she’d given eighteen years of her life to raise him to adulthood. He could give her a few months to find her feet again.

 

“You aren’t in the way,” he said firmly, crossing the kitchen to set the bag of carrots down on the cutting board. “I was thinking… I mean, I haven’t discussed it with Phil yet, but if you’re still around once the baby is born, it would be really nice to have an extra person around to help out. I hear newborns can be a lot. It takes a village, and all that.” He waved a hand in the air to punctuate his statement.

 

Her eyes went very wide. She had dark eyes, just like his, and the same eyebrows and long, luxurious lashes. His Omega mum so beautiful. He forgot that sometimes. God, his Alpha Mum was a massive idiot.

 

“Well, I hadn’t really thought,” she began and then stopped, looking him over with a bemused expression. “Is that really what you want, Dan?”

 

He almost laughed. How many times had he asked himself that exact same question? Who knew if he’d ever have an answer, for himself or for her.

 

“I think it would be nice,” he said instead, jerking one shoulder in a shrug. “I don’t know if you’ll even want to be here that long, but, you know… Just, you’re welcome to stay as long as you need to, okay?”

 

She smiled, and there were tears glistening at the corners of her eyes.

 

“You know, I think I might have raised you right after all,” she told him in a conspiratorial tone and then turned back to the sink.

 

“Think it’s still a bit early to say _that_ ,” he shot back, returning to the cutting board with a grin. Silence fell between them for a while after that, as they both worked steadily at their different tasks. When his mum shut off the water again, he could hear Phil’s voice next door, the excited rise and fall of his words as he chattered to their audience about the awards show and American Horror Story and how excited he was about the baby.

 

Two months ago, Dan hadn’t even known that he was pregnant. Two months ago, he’d been content with his and Phil’s romantic relationship being permanently past tense. In fact, two months ago, he’d been content with the prospect of a future where he and Phil slowly drifted apart into separate lives. Two months ago, his concept of family had been a house in Wokingham that he visited as rarely as he could because of how uneasy he felt there.

 

Yet here he was stood in his kitchen with the brand new family that he and Phil had unwittingly started slowly taking shape around him. And, yeah, maybe sometimes families were a married couple and their dog and their 2.5 children, but sometimes a family was two best friends and their accidental baby and a mum who needed a new place to live.

 

For the first time in ages, Dan found himself not merely content when he considered his future but actually _excited_. This was all uncharted territory. Half the things he’d agreed to over the past couple of months were things he’d never so much as imagined in the past. But he found he couldn’t wait to do all of them—with Phil, with his mum, and with their child…if they would just hurry up and get here already.


	12. Even

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> November 2016

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to give another huge thank you to everyone who has been reading, commenting, and otherwise giving this fic love. It means the world to me. Next chapter on Wednesday! Check my Twitter @phan_anonfics for updates or just to say hello! <3<3

The rest of October passed in the blink of an eye, and then it was November, and their new book was out. There was a big on-stage event in London and then a trip to the U.S. for a second event in L.A. There was new merch and new TATINOF tickets to sell and new videos to post. Oh, and of course somewhere in all that mess, they went through the epic, scream-inducing production that was moving their entire lives (and Dan’s mum’s) from the old flat they’d lived in for four years into their brand spanking new house.

 

Honestly, Phil couldn’t have been more thankful for Omega Howell’s presence throughout all of that. Despite all the shit she was going through herself, she somehow still managed to handle the role of an actual mum, taking over tasks like planning meals and scheduling the movers and then overseeing the transfer of their belongings to the new house when Dan and Phil got called away to a sudden meeting with their publishers. And, of course, when they had to jet off to America before they’d had a chance really even to unpack, it was Omega Howell who assured them that she’d see to getting everything situated while they were gone.

 

It seemed that the moment they were back from L.A. they had to rush in to a doctor’s appointment for Dan’s 20-week check-up. It was the only free day they had in their packed November schedule. The pregnancy website Phil had subscribed to had emailed him earlier in the week that the baby was now the size of a banana, and when he’d told Dan that, the Omega had been thoroughly disturbed imagining a banana growing inside his womb. Phil thought it was kind of cool and even went so far as to tweet about it.

 

This led to an influx of hasty photo edits of him and Dan carrying a swaddled banana, sonograms with bananas photoshopped in, and even some lovely art of the two of them raising their banana baby together.

 

Dan complained that their mentions had been completely ruined for the next several days.

 

Upon arriving at their appointment, the first thing they told the sonographer was that they wanted to know the baby’s sex, if she could tell. She was a heavyset, middle-aged Omega who had introduced herself as Rebecca, and she answered the request with a grin.

 

“I’d bet you already have an idea,” she said as she gestured Dan over to the table.

 

“We do,” Dan conceded as he climbed up and got comfortable, “but we’d like to confirm it, if possible.”

 

“Of course,” Rebecca said.

 

This was the longest scan they’d had yet, lasting for nearly half an hour, and they watched on a big screen up on the wall as Rebecca moved the transducer around Dan’s abdomen to view the baby from various angles.

 

“Arms and legs look good,” she murmured as she moved the image around, “and all the organs are there. I’ll just be taking some measurements now.”

 

Phil found himself mesmerized by the sight of the fully-formed baby wiggling around up there on the screen. They definitely weren’t just a blob anymore. Dan had reported feeling them moving around pretty regularly now, though Phil still wasn’t able to sense anything when he placed his hand against Dan’s protruding abdomen. Dan assured him it would happen soon enough.

 

“Oh, there it is!” Rebecca exclaimed and paused her hand in a particular spot. “See the little white and grey bit there—“ She gestured toward the smaller screen that she had in front of her. Phil leaned in closer to figure out where she was pointing. She’d positioned the transducer so that they were looking at the baby butt first, and Phil could see the outline of its little bum and its thighs, and yep, right there between its legs was a little blob. “That’s the penis and scrotum,” Rebecca explained. “And judging by Mr. Howell’s scent, I think it’s safe to say you’re having an Alpha boy.”

 

Phil looked quickly over at Dan’s face, unsure what the Omega’s reaction would be. He shouldn’t have been worried, though. Dan seemed just as transfixed by the images on the screen as he himself felt.

 

“Yep, that’s what we were expecting,” Phil told the sonographer as he turned back to the screen. “It’s amazing to see them up there on the TV, though, and actually know for sure now.”

 

Something brushed his hand then, and when he looked down, he saw that Dan was sliding his own hand into Phil’s. A smile curled the Beta’s lips, and he turned to meet the Omega’s eyes again. There was uncertainty there, but his mouth was curved up in a smile to match Phil’s eyes.

 

They both returned their gaze to the screen at the same time but kept holding hands as Rebecca took them on a tour of all of their baby’s healthy and well-developed body parts.

 

When it was all over, they got to take home a DVD of the scan, and neither of them minded watching the whole thing back with Dan’s mum on their big screen television. She got all teary-eyed looking at the little feet and toes and the tiny fingers curled up next to a rounded cheek. It was still amazing to him how the baby could look so much like a baby and yet still be so small. He couldn’t wait until Christmas when he’d get to show off the scan to his own family.

 

The very next day, they were up early and back on a plane again, this time to Dublin for the first show of the last leg of TATINOF. It was a bittersweet feeling, knowing that this would be one of the last times they would perform this show. One part of Phil was dreading the end of it. Something about the thrill of standing on the stage with an audience of hundreds or even thousands interacting with him live, right there in the real world—that feeling was irreplaceable. 

 

When he was younger, he could never have imagined how much he would love it. Sure, he’d always wanted to get on TV and had done everything he could think of to get noticed, entering contests and sending off audition tapes left and right. He’d actually succeeded in making it onto _The Weakest Link_ , though he hadn’t won. But being on TV was nothing like performing on a stage. There was something so much more visceral and raw about it, the way the audience’s energy seemed to drive him, the way he felt almost physically connected to them at times. He was definitely going to miss it.

 

The rest of Phil was longing for the tour to just be over with already. More than ever, in the past few weeks it had felt like their professional life was seriously getting in the way of their personal lives. At a time when all he wanted was to be home with Dan, settling into their new house and preparing to welcome the new addition to their family, their work kept taking them back out into the world.

 

He expressed this frustration that night as he and Dan prepared for bed in their massive hotel room in Dublin.

 

“Is it bad that I wish we were back home in our own bed instead?” he sighed as he slid beneath the thick comforter. One of the new pieces of furniture they’d installed in the new house was a massive king-size bed, which the two of them shared. In theory, the master bedroom was Dan’s, but they’d furnished and decorated it together. Since there was no way of knowing how long Omega Howell would be staying with them, they’d let her go ahead and make one of the bedrooms her own (She’d argued when they’d insisted on paying for all the furniture and décor she’d picked out, until Dan had pointed out that they were going to have to pay to furnish the room regardless). The third room they had begun turning into the baby’s nursery and the fourth was “Phil’s room,” though the truth was that it was more of a set for filming his videos than an actual living space.

 

“I don’t know if it’s bad, but I do know exactly what you mean,” Dan grumbled as he pushed back the duvet on his own side and climbed in. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m really looking forward to tomorrow’s show, but I can’t wait to get back to our own home again.”

 

“Mm,” Phil agreed, rolling over and snuggling himself into the Omega’s arms. There was nothing Phil liked more than the comfort of being cradled in a tall, broad-shouldered man’s arms.

 

“Phi-il,” Dan whined. “You know I can’t spoon you properly right now.” He’d pulled away a bit to keep his lower half from squishing into Phil.

 

“That’s just because you aren’t trying hard enough,” Phil insisted, scooting backwards until his lower back touched against Dan’s baby bump. “Just hold me for a little while? Please?”

 

Dan grumbled some more, but he worked his arms around Phil’s body and pulled him closer. Phil drew in a deep breath and then let it out in a big, tired sigh. The flight from London to Dublin was a very short one, but the whole process of packing and getting to the airport and checking in and waiting and boarding and then doing the whole thing in reverse still wore him out.

 

“We’ve just got to get through the rest of November and December, and then after Christmas everything should calm down again,” Dan murmured, his lips pressing lightly against the back of Phil’s neck.

 

“Yeah,” Phil agreed, closing his eyes and letting himself begin to relax into the warmth of Dan’s body. “Just a few more weeks and our lives will be our own again for a little while.”

 

“For a little while,” Dan repeated in a sleepy voice. “And then they will be taken over by a ravenously-hungry, helpless little creature whose only accomplishment in life is filling diapers with poop and screaming at the top of its lungs.”

 

Phil chuckled.

 

“Or so I hear,” Dan added.

 

“About that,” Phil said, “I say we take the week after Christmas off and then as soon as the new year starts, we begin stockpiling videos to post after the baby is born.”

 

“Either that or just tell our audience to suck it up and go without videos for a few months,” Dan muttered, burying his face against Phil’s shoulders.

 

“Hmm,” Phil replied, considering it. “Or we could always be _those_ YouTubers whose channels suddenly become all about our baby. We could vlog every single thing they do and post it. I’m sure the viewers would lap it up.”

 

“Ha,” Dan scoffed. “Today, baby took its first poop. Check out this close-up! Isn’t that adorable?”

 

“That’s disgusting!” Phil’s body shook gently with laughter. “I meant more like, showing them learning how to crawl and walk and speak and all of that.”

 

“I know what you meant,” Dan said and then sighed. “I don’t really know if I want the whole world to see that stuff, though. I mean, it’s not like our kid can consent to having their image posted for anyone to see. How would they feel, growing up so exposed like that?”

 

“Yeah, that’s a good point,” Phil said. “Should we post any pictures of them at all then, I wonder?”

 

Dan was silent for a very long time, so long that Phil had about decided that he’d fallen asleep.

 

“I don’t know,” Dan finally mumbled, startling Phil out of the half-sleep he himself had drifted off into. “Maybe a few, just every now and then. They’re a big part of our lives already, and they’re going to be an even bigger part once they’re born. It would be silly to pretend they don’t exist at all.”

 

Phil was too groggy to say anything, so he only hummed in response, and after that they both dropped quickly into sleep.

 

 

**

 

The Dublin show was more incredible than Phil had even imagined. It was the first show they’d performed since the release of the TATINOF film. They’d both worried somewhat that no one would be willing to buy tickets to come out and see something that they could watch in the comfort of their own homes for the cost of a few euros.

 

Instead, though, it seemed that most of the audience had watched the film and come anyway. Occasionally, one of them would shout out a line along with him or Dan, and when they got to their big song and dance number at the end, everyone was singing along. They both left the stage on a euphoric high, and when he looked over at Dan once the giant fake microwave door had closed behind them, there were tears streaming down the Omega’s face.

 

He couldn’t help himself. He leaned over, took hold of Dan’s flushed cheeks, and planted a big, excited kiss upon his lips.

 

They got a few good-natured jeers and catcalls from the stage crew, but Dan just flipped them off, to their further delight.

 

He wished so badly that they were going back to their hotel room after that. He wanted nothing more than to get Dan alone and ride that high to its inevitable conclusion.

 

Instead, they had a quick shower in the bathrooms backstage and then rushed off to the airport to catch yet another flight. By the time Dan’s mum was welcoming them back home, they were both dead on their feet, drained by the energetic performance and the rushed travel. He’d never been more grateful to have Omega Howell living with them. She had a hot dinner of stir-fried noodles with vegetables waiting for them, and she made a big fuss over getting them fed and then sending them straight up to bed. Neither of them had any wish to argue with her over that point.

 

The next night was their second awards show in as many months, the BONCAs, a new awards program that their managing company had created. It was really cool to be attending an awards show that was just for online creators like themselves, especially since they knew (or at least had met) almost every one of the invited guests. It was sort of like having a big, fancy work party.

 

Phil ended up spending a lot of time on the stage, between winning _three whole awards_ and performing their song as the closing act. And Dan was up there with him every time, even when it was technically only supposed to be Phil. It just didn’t make sense to him to be winning individual awards, not when everything he’d done, everything he’d built over the the past eleven years of his online career had been enhanced, supported, and shared by Dan. From Phil’s point of view, everything he had belonged to Dan too, in one way or another.

 

He spent the entire evening in an ecstatic haze, dazzled by the glitter (okay, that was mostly Dan’s jacket) and the cheering and being surrounded by friends and colleagues he’d worked and grown alongside of for years.

 

Earlier in the day, Dan’s mum had casually mentioned that she would be going out with a friend that evening and that they shouldn’t wait up for her. Phil guessed it was her discreet way of letting them have their privacy for a night.

 

The moment they were home again from the BONCAs, they took full advantage of the empty house. They kissed their way hungrily from the front door to the stairs, discarding their glitzy jackets and bow ties somewhere along the way. By unspoken agreement, they split apart just long enough to hurry up the stairs together—better not to risk taking a tumble down the stairs just to suck face.

 

At the top of the stairs, though, Dan had him by the shoulders at once, pushing him up against the nearest wall and taking possession of his lips again.

 

“I want you on the bed. Now,” the Omega growled into his ear when he’d broken away, panting, at last.

 

Phil didn’t have to be told twice. He knew Dan like this, fierce and powerful and ready to prove that Phil belonged to him and him alone. It had been years since he’d seen him, but he knew this Dan very well.

 

His heart was pounding hard inside his chest as he lay himself back onto their bed and waited. Dan didn’t keep him long. When he appeared in Phil’s line of sight again, he was shirtless, though he was still wearing his dress trousers. Like this, Phil could easily see his smooth chest, punctuated by dark, slightly swollen nipples, and the curve of his lower abdomen.

 

“I think the British Online Creator of the Year deserves to get fucked however he wants tonight,” the Omega purred, stopping at the edge of the bed. He had his legs spread in a wide stance, bracketing Phil’s knees where they hung over the side. “So how would you like it, Mr. Creator of the Year?”

 

“I want you,” Phil breathed, his heart beating so fast he was almost dizzy. “Inside me. Want you to fuck me hard.”

 

A slow smile curved Dan’s lips as he leaned forward and began meticulously unfastening the buttons of Phil’s shirt one at a time.

 

“It would be my pleasure,” he whispered.

 

“Think it’d be both of ours,” Phil couldn’t resist saying and was rewarded with a tiny snort of a laugh from the Omega.

 

“Shhh,” he whispered against the skin that he was slowly exposing. “I think you’ve said far too much this evening already.”

 

“Oh?” Phil asked, shivering as the Omega’s breath tickled the fine hairs that grew in the center of his chest.

 

“Telling everyone you’ve spent the majority of this year with me,” Dan muttered then pressed his lips against Phil’s chest, right over his pounding heart. “Telling the whole world you wanted to share your award with me. Definitely way too much talking.”

 

“Hated it, didn’t you?” Phil half-laughed, half-moaned as the Omega’s fingers brushed over his bare stomach, reaching for the last button of his shirt. “Next time I’ll make sure to take all the credit and praise for myself.”

 

“Shut up,” Dan murmured into the skin beside his belly button. Phil raised his head just enough to see the Omega’s face. There was a definite grin on those beautiful lips.

 

He helped Dan get his shirt off, and the moment it had been flung aside, the Omega started on his trousers. He was already achingly hard, so it was impossible for Dan to unzip him without rubbing his knuckles down Phil’s stiff cock. His hips jerked up involuntarily, drawing another chuckle from the Omega’s throat.

 

It didn’t take long for Phil to be lying there trouserless and pantless, and then Dan had him inside his mouth, tongue nudging at the edges of his foreskin, upper lip rubbing moistly against his already-leaking head.

 

“Dan,” he breathed, thinking about just how much he loved that mouth. How he could listen to the words that fell from it for hours on end, words that made him laugh or words that made him reconsider the universe, words that cut him to the core sometimes and words that healed the wounds they’d made. How that mouth could smile or frown or pout or sneer or just be lying slack in repose and still be the most beautiful mouth he’d ever seen. How it could kiss him or lick him or tease him or bruise him or suck him down deep like it was now and make him think he could die like this, with Dan’s mouth suctioned hot around him.

 

But Dan didn’t let him finish like that. After a few minutes, he pulled off with a few comforting licks and then ordered Phil further up onto the bed. The Beta obeyed, hearing the sound of a drawer opening and a hand rummaging around inside.

 

“Turn over,” he heard Dan call back to him, so he rolled over at once onto his stomach, insides fluttering as his excitement ratcheted another notch higher.

 

He felt the bed dip as Dan crawled up over him, and then he heard the sound of a bottle being uncapped. He could smell the lube before he felt it. Dan had bought it for him as a sort of joke a few weeks ago, red velvet cupcake flavored lube. He could still remember the delicious taste of it as he’d licked it out of Dan’s quivering hole that same night.

 

The liquid was sticky and a little cool as Dan’s fingers brushed it gently over his puckered opening. He felt himself relaxing at once under the Omega’s touch, his body well-trained to recognize the oncoming pleasure.

 

Then he felt Dan’s tongue, just the tip at first, caressing lightly over him, soothing, relaxing him further. His body opened easily to Dan’s touch, and the probing tip slipped inside him, pushing in partway and then pulling out again to lick around his rim.

 

He was moaning, he realized after a while, a deep sound at the back of his throat pulled from inside him by the delicious pleasure of Dan’s tongue feeling him out, opening him up, tasting him, wriggling inside of him.

 

“Fuck,” he sobbed, the word wrenched out of him. His hips were working, rubbing his hard cock against the sheets beneath his body, and he could feel the growing patch of moisture where his pre-cum was soaking into the fabric. “Jesus, Dan, don’t… Ahhh.”

 

It felt so good, too god. He couldn’t think straight, couldn’t think at all about anything but the hot, wet, insistent thing probing him, penetrating him. And then Dan’s finger was there, sliding in beside his tongue, just a little bit of a stretch, just enough to let his tongue push deeper, tasting Phil’s most intimate parts. He felt Dan’s finger slip deeper too, massaging the inside of his hole, pulling him further open, making space, getting him ready.

 

“Fuck me,” he found himself begging. “Please, Dan, just fuck me already.”

 

Warm air brushed against his wet skin, chilling him, as the Omega breathed out a laugh. Then he felt the tongue slide from inside him, replaced by two more fingers, shoved in hard and fast. He was so loose already, his body so eager for Dan, that the sudden stretch felt nothing but good, not even that slight sting he usually got when it had been a while since he’d last been fucked.

 

“Fuck me,” he repeated, pushing himself back onto Dan’s fingers, forcing them deeper, forcing himself further open.

 

“Fuck, Phil.” Dan’s voice sounded as unsteady as he himself felt. “Fuck.”

 

The fingers moved inside him, twisting and spreading for just a moment before they slid out too. He rutted forward against the sheets, so ready, so hungry for Dan that he felt tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Dan was doing something behind him, but his mind couldn’t concentrate enough to figure out what, and then he was there again, his weight hovering above Phil, and the Beta felt the hot, slick tip of a dick rubbing slowly over his slackened hole.

 

“Dan,” he whined. “Please.”

 

“Shhh,” the Omega soothed him, pressing himself a little forward, just enough to spread Phil open wider and then pulling out to rub over his rim again.

 

“Dan,” he protested because god he couldn’t take the suspense any longer. He was already teetering on the edge of an orgasm, frustrated tears leaking down onto his cheeks.

 

And then the Omega pushed in, sliding down, so thick and slippery, filling Phil’s hole in one long thrust. He heard his own voice crying out. It was so much, this feeling of being spread open and filled all at the same time. Hands came up to grip his hips, wrapping him in a warm grasp, holding him steady as his body quivered and shook around the Omega’s cock.

 

“Are you ready to be fucked hard now?” came Dan’s low voice, husky with barely-restrained lust.

 

“God, yes, Dan, please just—“ but before he’d even finished, the Omega had pulled all the way out and them shoved himself right back in again, sheathing himself deep inside Phil’s body. He let out a high-pitched whimper and Dan let out a responding groan. The hands around his hips tightened, pulling him back just that little bit further onto Dan’s cock. He could feel the Omega’s balls squished up against his perineum. Then Dan shifted angles, and as he pulled out this time, his cock brushed against Phil’s prostate, and just like that, Phil was coming, his whole body shaking as his cock jerked and squirted sticky cum down onto the bed and his hole fluttered and clenched around the cock pounding back into him.

 

“Oh, fuck,” Dan muttered, but he didn’t pause in his relentless fucking of Phil’s arse, pushing deep and pulling out and shoving in once more. The first couple of thrusts brushed over Phil’s sensitive prostate again, causing him to flinch and whimper at the overwhelming sensation, but then Dan shifted yet again, still pounding in deep but without any pressure on that exquisite spot inside him.

 

“You feel so good,” he heard Dan pant and felt his palms slide up over his back. One hand reached up and squeezed the back of his neck and the other slid underneath him, rubbing over his chest, just barely brushing over one nubbed nipple. “Want me to cum inside you? You want me to fill you up with my cum?”

 

Phil whimpered again and nodded, still so high from his orgasm that he couldn’t even string together two words in response.

 

The movements of Dan’s hips sped up, fucking in and out of him fast, his thick cock merciless, and then Phil felt the stiff rod inside him give a little twitch, and Dan plunged deep and stayed. The Omega’s throat spilled out a long groan and then a long string of expletives as spurt after spurt of hot liquid spilled inside of Phil’s body.

 

Dan fell forward a little to press his chest to Phil’s sweaty back, and his arms wrapped more tightly around him as the last of his cum leaked out into Phil’s hole. They stayed pressed together like that for several minutes, the roundness of Dan’s abdomen holding their bodies slightly apart. Phil’s legs were shaking, just barely holding him up from collapsing onto the bed, but he didn’t complain. Everything about his body felt perfect like this, with Dan inside him and on top of him and around him and his breath spreading out over Phil’s skin.

 

Eventually, though, Phil’s legs couldn’t hold out any longer.

 

“I’m gonna fall over,” he muttered and then followed the words with the action. Dan’s softened cock slipped from inside him as they landed side by side upon the bed, both laughing breathlessly.

 

“Mmm, that was good,” Dan mumbled from behind him, one arm draped carelessly over Phil’s heaving side.

 

“Nnnn,” he agreed, having run out of coherent words again. He shifted his hips a bit at the tickling sensation of Dan’s cum beginning to trickle out of him and down the back of one thigh.

 

He felt movement behind him, and then Dan’s face was down by his arse again and the Omega’s tongue was lapping up the sticky trail of cum. He pushed Phil gently over onto his stomach and then used his hands to spread his cheeks just far enough apart to get his tongue between them. Phil closed his eyes and moaned softly as he lost himself in the sensation of a warm tongue soothing his used hole, licking away all the lube and cum until he was clean again and drifting off to sleep.

 

He woke some time later to the sound of Dan’s bare feet padding off toward the ensuite across the wooden floor of their bedroom. After a moment, he heard the squeak and spray of the shower starting up. 

 

“You coming?” the Omega’s tired voice called then.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, his own voice creaky with sleep.

 

With a lazy stretch, he pushed himself up off the bed and made his way over to join Dan in the shower.


	13. Odd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Progress, without and within

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience. I had a few things come up that delayed me working on this chapter, but I was really happy to see how much people enjoyed the last one. Thank you for all of the lovely comments. Next chapter on Sunday! <3

_i’m hired!!!!!_

 

The text from Dan’s mum came through just minutes before they were to go on stage for their first show in Berlin. He barely had time to grin down at his phone and shoot off a quick “congratulations!!!” before the stage manager called places.

 

A little more than a month after she had first left Dan’s Alpha Mum, Omega Howell had abruptly decided that she wanted to start working again. She’d had a job ages ago, back before she’d got pregnant with Dan, but after that she and her Alpha had agreed that she would stay home and raise Dan while Alpha Howell went out and worked. It had now been two and a half decades since she’d last worked outside the home, and Dan was privately shocked that she had so quickly decided to reenter the workforce.

 

But a few days ago, she’d tracked Dan down where he was sat in the office editing the 7 Second Challenge montage video they were about to post. When Dan had pulled off his headphones and asked her what was up, she’d explained that she’d found a job she wanted to apply to and then, with a shyness he wasn’t used to seeing in her, had asked if Dan would help her make a CV.

 

It wasn’t a super fancy or high-paying job—just a seasonal retail job that paid about £9 an hour—but his mum said that with her lack of education, experience, or skills, it was a good start.

 

“You could go back to school, you know,” Dan had said once they’d finally finished submitting her application online. “You know I’d help you cover any fees. Or, actually, I think in your situation you could probably qualify for a government-subsidized job training program.”

 

She’d pinched his chin and then kissed him on the cheek.

 

“I know, love,” she’d said. “But I’d like to be able to start saving to get my own place as soon as possible…since it looks like I’ll be on my own from now on.” Her smile had turned tense as she added that last part. They’d both been reticent on the topic of his Alpha Mum, but Dan was pretty sure that his Omega mum hadn’t heard a peep from her Alpha since she’d left her.

 

“Mum,” he said softly, “there’s no rush for you to move out. Phil and I have really enjoyed having you here.”

 

“It’s kind of you to say so,” she’d replied in a bracing tone. “But I can’t stay here forever, and at the rates I’ll be earning, it’ll take a while to be able to afford to live on my own.”

 

“Well, I still think you should consider going back to school,” Dan had said. “You can work part time and go to night classes or something. Once you finish, you’ll be able to earn a lot more.”

 

His mum had breathed deeply and then patted his hand.

 

“One step at a time,” she’d murmured, her voice shaking, and Dan had decided it was best not to push her on this, at least not for now. He couldn’t imagine how it must feel for her, having to basically start her life all over again at middle age. She was holding it together amazingly, considering.

 

 

He called her the minute they’d wrapped the performance.

 

“Congratulations!” he cried once she answered. “When do you start?”

 

“Tomorrow!” she told him, her voice gone high-pitched with excitement. “They want me to come in for training in the morning, and if that goes well, I’ll be out on the floor in the afternoon.”

 

“That’s incredible, mum,” Dan said, a rush of emotion filling his chest. He was learning that his Omega mum was so much stronger and braver than he’d ever given her credit for. “I’m so happy for you.”

 

“Thanks,” she said. “Sorry I probably won’t be able to welcome you two back tomorrow.”

 

“Don’t worry about that,” Dan rushed to assure her. As much as he’d enjoyed having her around the house to take care of them during this busy season of their lives, he’d always known it was temporary. “We’ll have a lot of filming and editing to get done anyway. Who knows,” he added with a breathy laugh, “maybe this time it’ll be us with dinner waiting on the table for you when you get home.”

 

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” she objected at once. “I’ll manage on my own.”

 

“Mum,” he said, rolling his eyes a little, “it’s your first day back to work after twenty-five years. We’re going to be celebrating. You’d better get ready.”

 

She let out a husky chuckle then.

 

“Sounds like I don’t really have a choice.”

 

“You don’t,” he confirmed. “I’ve gotta go get ready for the second show. Talk to you again later?”

 

“Of course, love,” she replied. “Break a leg!”

 

“I’ll do my best to break them both,” he answered.

 

It was weird, he thought as he hung up, how much closer he and his mum had become over these past few weeks. Before that, they’d talked once a month at the most. He’d sometimes go several months in a row without thinking to call her. Now, they talked nearly every day, and any day that they didn’t felt strangely lacking. He was almost starting to understand Phil’s deep attachment to his own parents.

 

He was sitting on a comfy armchair in one of the dressing rooms backstage, waiting for Phil to finish up in the shower so he could have his own turn. Sadly, the stall in the bathroom here was far too tiny for them to share. As soon as he was off the phone with his mum, he grabbed a couple of the granola bars stacked on a nearby counter and polished them off in a matter of minutes. He would need his energy if he was going to get through another entire show in a couple of hours. He washed the snack down with half a bottle of water and then leant back and closed his eyes, hoping for a quick nap.

 

However, this hope was doomed to be dashed. Relaxed he might be, but the baby had other ideas. Almost as soon as he’d settled in, the wiggling and kicking in his abdomen started up. He resigned himself to just sitting still with his eyes closed instead of getting any actual sleep.

 

A few minutes later, the sound of the shower stopped in the bathroom next door, and a few minutes after that, the latch on the door clicked open and the soles of Phil’s trainers squeaked across the tiled floor toward him.

 

“Your turn,” Phil’s voice sang out, and then his footsteps came to a stop. “Are you sleeping?” he asked in a lower voice.

 

“No,” Dan muttered, sighing wearily. “This one decided to hold a rave.” He raised a hand and gestured toward his abdomen.

 

“Oh,” Phil said, his tone perking up again with excitement. “Can I feel?”

 

Dan let his eyelids flutter open again. Phil was stood just a few steps inside the room, fringe damp, with a towel slung around his shoulders. His eyebrows were raised, and there was a small, hopeful smile quivering on his lips.

 

“Of course,” Dan said. “Come on over.”

 

Phil hurried to him at once and crouched down next to the chair. He looked up, met Dan’s eyes, and waited for him to give an encouraging nod before he raised a hand and placed it atop Dan’s protruding belly.

 

“Here,” Dan said, taking hold of Phil’s hand and sliding it around to his left side. “They’re over on this side.”

 

Phil nodded, expression gone intent as he calmed himself to complete stillness. He looked almost as though he were listening for something, like a burglar trying to crack a safe.

 

All at once his whole body stiffened, and then his eyes opened impossibly wide.

 

“I can feel it,” he whispered in a tone of reverent awe. “Dan, Dan, I can _feel_ it.”

 

And then his whole expression brightened into a sunshiney grin.

 

“Really?” Dan asked, finding it impossible not to match Phil’s joyous expression with a smile of his own. “What does it feel like to you?”

 

Phil fell still again, his eyes rising to the ceiling with that same listening expression.

 

“It’s like…a tiny little nudge. Like there’s a little squirrel inside you doing the can can.”

 

“Really, Phil?” Dan snorted. “A squirrel?”

 

Phil’s grin deepened, and his eyes dropped back down to meet Dan’s.

 

“Or maybe it’s a bunch of angry wasps trying to escape,” he suggested.

 

Dan shook his head and then brought up his hand again to rest it on top of Phil’s. The baby was still wiggling away, doing somersaults or barrel rolls or whatever it was that unborn fetuses did for entertainment in utero. Phil was still smiling up at him, for all of his silly jokes, still looking completely awed.

 

They sat that way for a long time, just the three of them, him and Phil mostly silent but occasionally remarking when the baby let out an especially powerful kick. Somewhere in the back of Dan’s mind, he remembered that he was supposed to be showering and resting for their next meet and greet and performance, but somehow this, him and Phil and the baby, seemed more urgent right at the moment.

 

Eventually, Martyn knocked on the dressing room door and asked if they were coming to dinner or not, and when he saw the time, Dan leapt to his feet with an apologetic look at Phil and dashed off to the shower.

 

This time, after the second performance had ended, they’d thought to book an extra night at the hotel. As they curled up in the huge bed, thoroughly drained from the back-to-back performances, Dan couldn’t remember how in the world he’d survived the American tour. Two whole months, mostly spent sleeping on a bus, performing almost every night… How had that not killed him? Of course, he hadn’t been pregnant at the time.

 

“I can’t believe I finally got to feel the baby move,” Phil’s sleepy voice interrupted his thoughts. The Beta had just snuggled down into the other side of the bed, so Dan rolled over to smile at him. “I mean, I knew it would happen eventually, but it was just taking so long.”

 

“Yeah,” Dan murmured, face half-pressed into the pillow because he was too bone-weary to raise his head. “Our kid’s a procrastinator just like their dad.”

 

“Can you tell what they’re doing right now?” Phil asked, voice tinged with excitement despite how tired he must be.

 

Dan closed his eyes and lay very still, focusing as well as he could on that space inside him where the baby was growing. He’d become so accustomed to its little flutters and jerks that he’d started to tune them out a lot of the time. There were usually other things that required his attention. For now, though, there was nothing.

 

“Uh uh,” he replied, keeping his eyes closed because just the idea of opening them again was exhausting. “They might be sleeping.”

 

“Oh, okay,” Phil said, sounding slightly disappointed.

 

“We should be sleeping too,” Dan slurred, hoping Phil could understand him despite the half-formed words.

 

“Fine,” the Beta muttered. Dan heard some rustling and then the click of the light, and then silence fell again…for a moment, at least. “You’ll tell me when they’re moving again, though, right?” came Phil’s voice in the dark.

 

“Ye-es,” Dan groaned. “Now go the fuck to sleep.”

 

“Okay,” Phil said, though he didn’t sound the least bit chastened. “Good night, Dan.”

 

“‘Night,” Dan muttered.

 

"Good night, Baby.”

 

“Oh my god, Phil,” Dan huffed and rolled away so that his back was to his ridiculous bedmate.

 

The only response he got was a soft giggle.

 

 

**

 

They arrived home around noon the next day, and after a leisurely lunch, Phil spent the afternoon editing “Phil is Not on Fire 8” while Dan worked on editing the first video of Gamingmas, both of which they’d filmed before leaving for Berlin.

 

His mum had texted him around lunchtime to let him know to expect her home around 6:00 that evening, so at 5:00, he set aside his headphones, stretched his back, and headed down to the kitchen. They’d had a little chocolate cake delivered earlier, and Phil had gone round to the corner shop to get them a bottle of champagne. All that was left was for Dan to cook his mum’s favorite lemon chicken for dinner.

 

She walked through the door at exactly 6:03 and came straight on to the kitchen, her nose raised to sniff at the air.

 

“That smells lovely, Dan,” she exclaimed and then strolled over to plant a kiss on his cheek where he stood rinsing some spinach leaves. She was a full head shorter than he was and had to stand on her tiptoes to reach his cheek, so he graciously bent down a little to make it easier on her. “Can I get a salad started?”

 

“Nope,” Dan replied with a firm shake of his head. “You’ve just got home from a long day at work, so all you should be doing is resting your feet. Dinner will be ready in a few.”

 

“Dan,” she protested, “you know you don’t have to—“

 

“I insist,” he said, turning off the tap and shaking the excess water from the leaves. “I’m almost finished anyway. Now, shoo!” And he waved her out of the kitchen.

 

“Fine, fine,” she called over her shoulder, though he could hear the laughter in her voice—and the weariness. 

 

Dinner was ready about ten minutes later, and once he’d set it all out on the dining room table, he had to go physically wrest Phil from his computer. The Beta got especially lost in editing when he was working on a PINOF—he was never satisfied until the editing was perfect when it came to those. Dan couldn’t really blame him. They were a unique—and very special—part of AmazingPhil’s history.

 

“Wow, you cooked a whole dinner?” Phil exclaimed when he walked into the dining room to find the table all set—chocolate cake and champagne and all. “Where was I?”

 

“Busy,” Dan said with a shrug and then went to collect his mum. Not too shockingly, she had fallen asleep on the sofa.

 

“Mum,” he called gently, shaking her shoulder, “Time for dinner.”

 

“Mm,” she hummed, eyes coming open only slowly. “All right, all right. I’m coming.”

 

Over dinner, she told them all about her first day and about how relieved she was that there were other people her age working at the same shop. She’d been so worried it would all be teenagers and twenty-something university students and she wouldn’t fit in. But her manager had complimented her on her work ethic and how quickly she picked up on things, so tired as she was, she was feeling very pleased with her day.

 

In turn, they told her about visiting the Christmas markets in Berlin, and Phil gushed about how he’d felt the baby move for the first time. Omega Howell’s eyes sprang open at that.

 

“Oh, did you?” she exclaimed, turning her excited expression on Dan. “Can I please feel it too, the next time?”

 

“Yeah, of course,” Dan said, “They’ll probably be more active after dinner, but I’ll let you both know,” he added, turning to encompass Phil in the look. The Beta hadn’t said anything else since last night, but Dan knew he was dying to feel the baby again.

 

After that, they had their cake, and Phil and his mum split the champagne while Dan made do with Ribena (again). As predicted, a short while after they’d settled in the living room to enjoy their drinks, the baby began its usual routine of flips and kicks and dives.

 

“There they go,” Dan announced, reaching down a hand to rub it against the spot where the movement felt strongest. “Who wants to go first?”

 

His mum and Phil exchanged a glance, and then Phil piped up.

 

“Oh, I think Karen should have first go,” he said, graciously waving her forward toward Dan. “Since she hasn’t felt it yet.”

 

Dan could see that she was on the verge of a polite objection, so he nipped that right in the bud.

 

“Come on then, mum,” he said, beckoning her toward him as well.

 

“Oh, all right then,” she caved and then came over and settled herself beside him on the sofa.

 

First, her eyes fixed on his belly, and then her hand stretched forward and hesitated. Dan reached out and took her hand, guided it the rest of the way over, and placed it lightly over where the baby was currently having its way with his insides. Once there, her palm pressed in more firmly, and then her expression melted.

 

“Oh, Dan,” she breathed, her eyes flitting up to his face. He could see tears pooling at the edges of them already, and his own eyes began to fill with moisture in response. All at once, they found themselves sharing a smile full of so many things they’d never really said out loud: how much they loved one another, how grateful Dan was to his mum for raising him, how proud she was of the person he’d grown up to be, how simultaneously thrilling and terrifying it was to know that in a few more months, there would be a brand new member of their family to care for.

 

Then her gazed dropped back down to his abdomen, and she let out a soft coo.

 

“Hello, Baby,” she murmured. “I’m your grandma. Oh, that sounds so old! I feel much too young to be a grandma, but, well, here you are. You are such a lucky little thing, to have such great dads, and a pretty great grandma too,” she chuckled, looking up at Dan again with a sparkle in her eye. “I can’t wait to meet you.”

 

She dropped her hand then and moved away, giving Phil a tearful nod. Dan noticed that the Beta’s eyes were looking a little misty too. He scooted closer to Dan at once and reached for the same spot where his mum’s hand had been.

 

The baby was still going strong, and Dan couldn’t help but wonder how this was going to feel in a month or two when the baby had grown two or three times bigger than it was now.

 

“Hey, little tyke,” Phil said, grinning down at Dan’s belly. “Your dad there wants to decorate your room in a hideous minimalist style, whereas I know that you definitely need as many toys as is humanly possible. Kick twice if I’m right and your other dad is wrong.”

 

To Dan’s shock, the baby gave an extra hard kick then. Phil’s eyes went huge.

 

“See?” he crowed. “They agree with me.”

 

“They’re a fetus. They know nothing about style yet,” Dan objected, though his words were belied by the laughter shaking his body. He heard a snort and glanced over to see his mum shaking her head and wiping the tears from her eyes, mouth open in a massive grin.

 

“Oh, get over yourself, Daniel,” she scolded him when she found her breath again. “We all know this kid is going to be spoiled rotten.”

 

Dan held his head high and refused to agree, but deep down he knew that she was only too right.

 

 

**

 

The next few days were a whirlwind of posting, filming, editing, and trying to keep their social media accounts relatively active.

 

First, there was PINOF 8 to hype up, post, and then respond to all of their audience’s responses. There were lots of jokes about the “give birth” part, asking if Dan had got Phil pregnant too and pointing out that the person who’d sent it might have been demanding that Dan give birth already.

 

After that came the very weird and very creepy Yandere Simulator game, which people had been clamoring for them to play for months. Then they filmed a sponsored video, Best Fiends, which they’d gone back and forth on filming several times. It seemed that literally every YouTuber and their grandmother had filmed a sponsored video for the game, and they hated to be unoriginal. However, they couldn’t deny that the game was a popular request in their comments. Eventually, they decided to take the spon but give the money to charity. At least that way they could look a little less like sell-outs.

 

Next, they had to hype up their upcoming appearance in an actual Disney Channel children’s cartoon, _The Lion Guard_. And wasn’t that just weird, how this little YouTube thing they’d decided to do had led to voice acting opportunities in not one but _two_ different Disney productions?

 

It was the first of December, and they’d just finished posting their first Gamingmas video when they sat down in the office to film the next episode of their Sims series. The last few had been pretty momentous, what with having their Sim propose, get married, and then enjoy a predictably wacky honeymoon. Today’s video would be no exception, as they’d decided to move the happy Sim couple right along to the next stage. They were about halfway through filming and had just had Dil and Tabitha try for a baby, when a funny thought occurred to Dan.

 

“You know, I think that one lyric from ‘The Internet is Here’ is no longer accurate,” he mused.

 

“Which one?” Phil asked, turning to give him a funny look. It took Dan a moment to realize that the look was a warning that they were still filming. Whatever. They could always edit it out later.

 

“The one where we talk about living vicariously through the life of our Sim,” Dan pressed on. “Our real lives have actually gone on ahead of Dil’s at this point.”

 

Phil nodded for a moment.

 

“I guess in the baby-making arena, they have,” and Dan made a giant cringe face at the way Phil said “baby making.” “Though,” Phil continued, “they have got married, and we haven’t.”

 

“True,” Dan said slowly. “But that’s not necessarily being behind or ahead. It’s just…different choices for our relationships.”

 

“Yeah,” Phil agreed, “but so is having a baby.”

 

Dan nodded, and then they went back to playing the game as though the conversation had never happened. Nevertheless, it stuck around in Dan’s brain for several days afterward.

 

He couldn’t help wondering whether, despite his assurances that he was happy with their relationship as it was, Phil wanted to marry Dan. This was the second time recently that he’d brought up marriage in an oblique manner like that. At the very least, Dan reasoned, the topic must still be on Phil’s mind.

 

From a logical standpoint, Dan could see how it would be a good idea. After a fair amount of discussion, they’d decided to have the baby take Phil’s last name. Howell-Lester and Lester-Howell both felt like too much of a mouthful, and the Howell family had Dan’s younger brother to carry on their name. In Phil’s family, on the other hand, his older brother had made it very clear that he had no intention of providing his parents with grandchildren. That had meant it was down to Phil to produce the next generation of Lesters, a role he was more than happy to fulfill.

 

Dan thought it would be nice to have the same last name as his child, and it would probably make some things simpler in a legal sense. 

 

But every part of Dan other than his logic had been more turned off than ever to the idea of marriage by this whole debacle with his Mums. No matter how brave a face his Omega mum put on things, he often heard her crying at night behind her closed bedroom door. And it wasn’t just them. So many of his friends’ parents—and even some of his friends—had ended up separating or divorcing. What had supposedly started out as a lifelong commitment had ended in hurt, betrayal, often even outright hatred. Or, sometimes the couple had simply drifted apart over the years, and what could have been a simple, if sad, parting of ways became a bitter, drawn-out legal process.

 

He truly couldn’t understand why people bothered with marriage anymore. It seemed more an unnecessary complication than anything else. Weren’t human relationships complicated enough without getting the law (or religious authorities) involved?

 

That night, he volunteered to make dinner for them all again, while Phil furiously edited the next gaming video in the pipeline. When his mum got home from work at the usual time, she joined him in the kitchen where he was just pulling out the makings for a fruit salad.

 

“Oh, let me, dear,” she insisted, taking the cartons of strawberries and blueberries from his hands. He happily relinquished them. It had been a very long day, and he had to admit that the extra weight in front was starting to have an effect on how long he could comfortably stay standing. It was a good thing they only had two more TATINOF shows to worry about.

 

As his mum washed her hands and then started in on the fruit, he pulled over a chair from the dining room and took a load off his tired feet.

 

“Mum,” he said after a while as he leant against the counter and watched her at work.

 

“Hmm?” she asked, still focused on her fruit washing.

 

“Can I ask you about something you said a while back?”

 

“Yeah, go on then,” she replied, finishing up her washing and moving over to the cutting board instead.

 

“On the day you first moved in with us, you said something about me and Phil,” he began, frowning a little as he recalled it. Phil had repeated the words to him later that same day, etching them even more clearly in his memory. “You said he was practically my husband already.”

 

She paused with the knife halfway through a strawberry and turned a raised-eyebrow expression on him.

 

“Isn’t he, though?” she asked, looking a little bewildered. “I mean, I know there haven’t been any rings or proposals yet, but…have I misread the situation? Is that not where things are headed?”

 

Dan shrugged and looked away, unable to meet her probing gaze.

 

“I don’t really…” he mumbled toward the kitchen floor and then let out a gusty sigh. “I don’t really believe in marriage, personally,” he stated, turning back toward her and raising his chin a bit, expecting a challenge. “I don’t think it’s something I want from life.”

 

Her look of bewilderment turned to one more of consideration. Abruptly, she returned her gaze to the strawberries she was slicing up.

 

“Is this a recent development?” she asked, the knife loudly thunking into the cutting board over and over again.

 

“No,” Dan said. “I’ve never, uh, really been interested in the whole settling down thing.”

 

“And yet you’re having a child,” she pointed out, scraping her cut strawberries into the waiting bowl and then pulling out a few more to slaughter. “That’s a pretty big part of the ‘whole settling down thing’ as you phrased it.”

 

“It wasn’t exactly planned,” Dan countered, dropping his gaze down to his hands. “But I decided it was something I wanted after thinking it through. I just don’t see why it means I have to get married as well.”

 

“Well,” she said, seeming to consider it as she made quick work of the last few strawberries. “Marriage can provide a sense of permanence and stability to the home your children will grow up in. That’s why Jay and I decided to do it. You know we went back and forth about it for a while, even after you were born.”

 

Dan nodded. He’d actually been old enough to remember his parents’ wedding by the time they finally got married. He weighed his next question carefully before speaking.

 

“Do you think you made the right decision?”

 

She was quiet for a very long time after that, long enough to finish slicing two whole apples and add them to the salad.

 

“I don’t really know, Dan,” she finally answered. “What I do know is that choosing to spend the last couple of decades raising you and Adrian was the right decision. Maybe, if I had it all to do over again, I wouldn’t have relied so much on your Alpha Mum. Maybe I would’ve gone back to work sooner or, oh, a million little things. But the big stuff? Deciding to settle down and start a family? I don’t think there’s any way I could ever want to change that.”

 

He pulled one leg up underneath him in the chair and and propped his cheek on one fist as he mulled that over. No, he didn’t think there was any way he would ever regret having this baby. He’d already built a career, already done so many of the things with his life that he’d wanted to. Had he done it all yet? Hardly. And maybe a baby had never originally been part of the plan, but now that they were here, he couldn’t imagine his life without them anymore.

 

“Dan,” his mum said, and he tilted his head up to meet her eyes again. She had finished with the fruit and was cutting a few little sprigs of mint to add to the salad as a garnish. “One more thing you should consider,” she said as she arranged the little leaves atop the colorful mound of fruit. “Marriage means different things to different people. Maybe you should find out from Phil exactly what it means to him before you write the idea off completely.”

 

He hummed and nodded in response, and she dropped the subject then, but those words stuck with him all throughout dinner and for the rest of the evening. They played over and over again in his head as he lay awake beside Phil that night and for several days after. 

 

What he finally decided was that his mum might have a point. He’d spent so many years hearing Phil wax poetic about his dream future, about the wedding he wanted, the kids he wanted, the house he wanted, the husband he wanted—he'd thought he knew, in great detail, exactly what Phil wanted from a marriage.

 

But hadn’t Phil told him that he knew Dan didn’t want the same things? Hadn’t he said he was okay with that, that he’d never ask Dan to marry him because he knew he wasn’t interested? And hadn’t he said he would never try to force Dan to be something he wasn’t?

 

If despite all that, Phil still wanted to marry him, then maybe, just possibly, Phil’s idea of what he wanted from a marriage had changed after all. 

 

But even if Dan’s mum was right, there was only one way he was going to find out, and that was by asking Phil. And he was going to. He was definitely going to. For sure. All he had to do first was find the courage.


	14. Zero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting to the heart of the matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sick the past few days, so unfortunately this chapter got delayed a bit. I'm also going to be busy this week, so the next chapter will be going up on Saturday. Thank you, as usual, to everyone who reads, comments, or gives kudos! <3

 

When they walked off-stage at the end of their second performance in Stockholm, Dan was leaning on him so heavily, Phil felt he was practically carrying him backstage.

 

The big microwave door swung shut behind them, and then that was it. TATINOF was over, forever.

 

“You all right?” Phil murmured as he helped Dan over to the nearest chair. All around them, stage hands and wardrobe people were hovering, waiting to take their props and costumes from them again.

 

“Yeah,” Dan groaned, dropping down into the chair and deflating. “It’s just my feet.”

 

“Oh, right,” Phil said, nodding and bending down to begin unzipping Dan’s shoes. Dan had been complaining about swelling in his ankles and feet for a few days now. After their performance last night, he’d hardly been able to walk and had spent much of the intervening time lying on a sofa, either in their hotel room or backstage, with his feet propped up above his head.

 

Luckily, the shoes were very easy to slip off, even with Dan’s feet swollen beyond their usual size, and one of the wardrobe people whisked in and disappeared with them the moment Phil tossed them aside. Dan’s socks came off next, and despite the Omega’s protests about his stinky, sweaty feet, Phil continued to kneel there, massaging the puffy ankles and tender soles while Dan made soft, agreeable noises somewhere up above.

 

“I can’t believe it’s really over,” he heard Dan mumble after a while, so he sat back and looked up at the Omega’s sweat-drenched face. A pleased smile had now spread across his features.

 

“You okay, Dan?” came a voice from just behind Phil, and they both looked up to see Ed, their director, striding over with a look of concern on his face. “I told you we could change the blocking to give you more time to sit down.”

 

“I’m fine. I managed just fine.” Dan breathed in a tired voice. He waved down toward his feet, “My doctor said this is completely normal.”

 

“I’ve called the restaurant, and they can push our reservation by thirty minutes,” came another voice from behind Phil—Marianne, their manager. “That should give you two a bit longer to catch your breath.”

 

“Thank you,” Dan told her, pushing himself up from his chair.

 

Phil was on his feet at once, arm snaking around Dan’s waist, trying to take as much of his weight as possible. More people were coming over now—Greg, James, so many of the crew who’d been with them all around the world over the past fifteen months. But they would have time to say their thanks and good-byes properly later, at the restaurant they’d reserved for a huge, celebratory dinner.

 

“Here, let me help you with your—“ Phil said and began tugging off Dan’s sequiny gold jacket.

 

The wardrobe people looked alarmed, and at least three of them sprang forward to help. When they were fully free of costumes and props (other than the normal clothes they wore on-stage), Phil led a limping Dan off to their dressing room. They were lucky that the one here was on the nicer side, including the sofa Dan had occupied that afternoon, several cushy chairs, a minibar full of snacks and drinks, and a fairly luxurious bathroom.

 

“Why don’t I draw you a bath?” Phil asked once he’d settled Dan on the sofa, where the Omega promptly propped up his bare feet again. They had a hotel room waiting for them somewhere out there, but it would be quite a while before all the fans would clear out and make it reasonably safe for them to leave. Soaking his feet seemed to help, so Dan had been taking baths instead of showers lately.

 

“Mmm, that would be nice,” Dan sighed. He had his eyes closed, and Phil stood for a moment beside the sofa, taking stock of the Omega. His face was flushed and sweaty, as it always was after a performance. But did he look a little pale beneath the heightened color? He was still breathing a little hard, though it had eased a lot since they’d first stepped off the stage. He had both hands folded over the spot where his black t-shirt was stretched tight across his rounded belly. His two poor swollen feet were dangling off the opposite arm of the sofa.

 

Phil supposed that overall, he didn’t look too bad off. Still, he grabbed one of the bottles of water that had been left out on the dressing counter for them and placed on the floor beside the sofa, in case Dan got thirsty.

 

Then he hurried off to the bathroom to run a quick bath, pouring in a generous helping of the body wash sitting there to make some bubbles (no one wanted to take a bath that didn’t have any bubbles, he reasoned). Even with the extra thirty minutes Marianne had bought for them, they wouldn’t have a ton of time to laze about. While the water was running, he rummaged around in the mini bar until he found a good assortment of snacks.

 

“Feel like eating anything?” he asked as he traipsed back over to the sofa and crouched down next to Dan.

 

The Omega opened his eyes and favored him with a tired smile.

 

“What’s on offer?” he asked, craning his neck to see what Phil held in his hands.

 

“Mini-pretzels, a few chocolate bars, granola bars, potato crisps—“

 

“I’ll have one of the granola bars,” Dan said, flopping one hand out to take it. As he tore into the foil packet, he narrowed his eyes at Phil. “Don’t eat all the rest yourself, though.”

 

Phil, who had just been considering whether he should have all of the chocolate bars and the crisps or just two chocolate bars and both the crisps and the pretzels, scowled.

 

“Fine,” he muttered, selecting one chocolate bar and dumping the rest on the counter.

 

When the bathtub was full, he helped Dan off the sofa and into the bathroom, closing the door behind them before beginning to pull the Omega’s t-shirt up over his head.

 

“Phil, my arms work just fine,” Dan said, gently grabbing the Beta’s wrists and pushing his hands aside. “Just focus on your own clothes,” he said with a nod toward Phil’s shirt and a wink.

 

Phil responded with a chuckle and then quickly set to work on his buttons. He heard Dan lowering himself into the tub after a minute and sneaked a quick peek at the Omega’s bare backside just as it sank into the bubbles. No matter how many times he’d seen Dan naked, it never stopped being exciting to him. Right now, though, there was something so fascinating about seeing his ever-growing baby bump in its full glory. His belly was tight and hard now, and his belly button was starting to be pushed out. A faint dark line had begun to appear on the lower curve of the baby bump.

 

“Phil, are you just gonna stand there ogling me, or are you gonna join me in the bath,” Dan said. Phil jerked his gaze up to the Omega’s twinkling eyes. 

 

“I was just going to grab a quick shower,” Phil said, shrugging out of his shirt and then reaching for his flies.

 

“Why?” Dan’s brow wrinkled, and he gestured at the sizable tub around him. “There’s plenty of space.”

 

“I didn’t want to, you know, disturb you,” Phil shrugged, pushing down his jeans and his boxers all in one go. He breathed out a little sigh of relief. It felt nice to finally be rid of his sweaty clothes.

 

“Phil,” came the Omega’s admonishing voice. “Come here.”

 

He gave in and walked over to the tub. Dan scooted a bit forward, opening up a space behind, and Phil stepped into the almost-too-hot water and sank down behind him. The Omega slid back, leaning his body against Phil’s chest and his head against Phil’s shoulder. Phil raised his arms and wrapped them loosely around the Omega’s middle, his hands clasped just below his swollen abdomen.

 

“Can I ask you kind of a weird question?” Dan murmured as he let his hands drift down through the water and come to rest on Phil’s knees.

 

“Hmm?” Phil asked, thoughts made vague by the warmth of the water and the ebbing adrenaline from their performance. “Oh, yeah,” he said when the words clicked in his mind. “You can ask me anything.”

 

“Do you want to get married?” Dan asked, voice still soft and low. His face lay mere centimeters from Phil’s. “To me, I mean.”

 

That sharpened Phil right up. He blinked a few times. Was…was this Dan’s way of proposing? But hadn’t Dan said over and over again that he didn’t want to be married? Phil almost shook his head but then realized he’d probably brain Dan with his chin if he did so. Instead, he answered.

 

“I’ve thought about it, I guess,” he said slowly. “But I meant what I said before. I’m happy to be with you in whatever way works for us.”

 

Dan hummed an acknowledgement of that and stayed silent for a while. After a moment, Phil became aware that the Omega’s fingers were rubbing gently at his lower thighs. Another time, he might have found the caress arousing. Just now, he found it soothing, like Dan’s way of reassuring him that everything was all right.

 

“If it was entirely up to you, though,” Dan said finally, “I mean, what would be ideal, from your point of view?”

 

Phil pursed his lips and tried to let his mind go where he had spent the last five years sternly telling it it wasn’t allowed to go anymore: him and Dan, both dressed up in smart tuxes, in a church filled with all of their closest friends and family, with flowers all around, maybe some of their favorite songs playing them down the aisle. Vows, an exchange of rings, a kiss, and a, “May I present to you for the first time ever, Mr. and Mr. Philip Lester.”

 

He found that his heart was beating harder. It gave a painful squeeze inside his chest. That was what he wanted. That was exactly what he’d always wanted. But…what came after? Some paperwork, some rearranging of their legal statuses, both privately and corporately. Some changes in the way they would do their taxes. Rings on their fingers, a title they called each other. A proud smile, a wave across the room, “That’s my husband.”

 

Yeah, he could admit he wanted all of that. And it was so easy to paint Dan into those fantasies, to see Dan’s face across from him at the front of that church, to see Dan’s finger with the ring on it, to see Dan’s form across the room as he introduced his husband.

 

“I think I’d like to be married to you,” Phil said at last, his voice barely more than a whisper. “Ideally, you’d want to be married to me too, and then we’d spend the rest of our lives together as husbands.”

 

Dan’s head moved a little. It took Phil a moment to realize he was nodding.

 

“That’s what I thought,” Dan murmured, his fingers still grazing lightly against the sensitive skin of Phil’s thighs. “Can you tell me why?”

 

Phil frowned, combing his thoughts, trying to come up with the reason why it felt so different to call Dan “boyfriend” or “partner” or “lover” than it did to call him “husband.” 

 

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Maybe it just comes down to some primal urge to claim you and make sure everyone knows you’re mine. If I were an Alpha, I’d want to scent you and bond with you, but since I’m a Beta, I want to put a ring on your finger and tell everyone you’re my husband. Something like that?”

 

Dan’s hands fell still on Phil’s knees, and he was silent for a long time.

 

“So,” he said finally, “is that what marriage is to you? A way of, like, binding me to you so that no one else can have me?”

 

Phil’s frown deepened. When he phrased it like that, it made it sound cheap and petty. Inside Phil’s mind, it didn’t feel that way at all. Maybe he was expressing it badly.

 

“I don’t think it’s exactly like that,” Phil said slowly, tightening his arms a little around Dan’s middle. “I think for me it’s more about making our relationship more permanent…but in a public way. I like the idea of everyone knowing that we’ve made a commitment to one another.”

 

“Huh,” Dan said, his fingertips resuming their slow stroking of Phil’s skin. “I guess I just don’t see why anyone else’s views matter. We know what we are to each other, or, at least, we’re figuring it out. To me, that’s what’s really important.”

 

Phil sighed and turned enough to press his lips to the damp hair near the Omega’s forehead.

 

“To me, too,” he murmured. “Which is why I said I want to be with you no matter what.”

 

“Okay,” Dan said, turning and pressing a kiss to the nearest part of Phil he could reach, which turned out to be the base of his throat. “I just want you to know you can be honest with me about what you really want. It may not be exactly what I want, but as long as I know, we can work something out.”

 

“Okay,” Phil whispered, hugging Dan close to him for a little while longer before he finally let him go and wiggled more upright. “Come on. We need to actually get clean if we’re going to make our reservation.”

 

 

**

 

Dinner ended up being a huge success. It wasn’t quite on the same level as their UK and US tour wrap parties, but since this was really the very last time they would all be together as the TATINOF cast and crew, there was something far more poignant about this gathering.

 

After the food, there were various speeches, and he and Dan both tearily expressed their gratitude and appreciation for everyone who’d worked so hard to make their show amazing—

 

“And not on fire!” Martyn yelled from the back of the room, to widespread laughter.

 

“Yes,” Dan responded, leaning closer to Phil, who had been the one speaking. “We are especially thankful to everyone who made sure that nothing to do with the show was ever on fire.”

 

The party began to wind down shortly after that, with people splitting off in ones and twos to return to their hotel rooms or homes. Dan actually left almost immediately after the speeches, complaining again of his aching feet, and Cornelia volunteered to help see him safe to their hotel. Phil and Martyn were among the last to leave, and since they’d booked rooms in the same hotel, they caught an Uber there together.

 

“Uff,” Phil’s older brother said as he settled himself in the cramped back seat of the car. “I am completely hobnobbed.”

 

Phil snorted a laugh.

 

“Wouldn’t that mean drunk?” he asked as the driver pulled away from the curb.

 

“Yeah, a little of that too,” Martyn said, leaning his head back and breathing out a sigh. “You seem strangely sober, though,” he observed, twisting his neck around to look Phil in the eye. “Something on your mind?”

 

Phil should have known his brother would notice the very subtle change in Phil’s demeanor. He’d had a few drinks, but looking back he realized that he had been intentionally avoiding getting tipsy. It was hard to let go and party when he couldn’t stop thinking about his and Dan’s conversation earlier…and the question of what he really did want from their relationship.

 

“Can I ask you something?” he said instead of answering the question.

 

“Shoot away,” Martyn said. “Can’t promise how straight of an answer you’ll get right now, though.”

 

Phil pursed his lips and tried to think of how to frame the question.

 

“You and Cornelia,” he began, hesitating for a moment before adding in a lower voice, “Do you ever get the urge to ask her to marry you?”

 

“Huh,” Martyn said, his expression turning vaguely baffled. “No? Not really? Neither of us is interested in getting married, so…” He ended with a shrug.

 

“But…” Phil said, turning away to frown down at his hands. He had his phone out and was fiddling with it, just to give his restless hands something to do. “You don’t want to be with anyone else, right? Like…you’d be happy spending the rest of your life with Cornelia?”

 

“Why do I get the feeling this conversation isn’t about me and Cornelia?” his brother muttered, sitting up straight again. 

 

Phil let out a long, slow breath.

 

“Dan and I kind of sort of got back together,” he mumbled. “But, we don’t really know what we are yet. And I kind of want to get married, and he doesn’t.”

 

“Ah,” Martyn said and then fell silent.

 

“It’s just,” Phil said, smoothing his thumb over the cold glass of the phone’s screen. “I mean, why don’t you want to get married?” he asked turning to give his brother a pleading look.

 

Martyn raised his eyebrows and then rolled his eyes toward the roof of the cab as he contemplated his answer.

 

“There are lots of reasons,” he said slowly. “For one thing, we don’t want kids, which I think is a big reason why lots of people _do_ get married. But I guess the biggest reason is,” he paused long enough to shrug, “I don’t really see what it would change. I think… I think too many people see marriage as a shortcut to commitment. I’ve seen a lot of my friends decide to get married to someone out of a sort of insecurity. Like they think they need to, I don’t know, tie the other person down. Bind them in a legal agreement to keep them from ever leaving.

 

“But if you or the other person isn’t really _in_ the relationship, getting married isn’t going to change that. And the opposite is true as well. If you are really committed to one another, a ceremony and ring aren’t gonna change that. For us… For me and Corn, I think our relationship is built on the knowledge that we’re both here because we want to be. Because I wake up each morning and look at her and choose to stay with her again. And she does the same thing.

 

“I don’t think not being married would make it any easier for her to leave, or me either. Not after the years we’ve spent building what we have. The only part it would make harder is the legal part, and who wants that bother when you’re in the middle of a break-up?” He shrugged again and collapsed back against the faux leather seat. “But that’s just us, you know? Every relationship is different. You and Dan have to figure out what works for you.”

 

Phil slouched back into the car seat as well. Every point that his brother had made sounded so reasonable. Right down to the last one. Just because that type of relationship worked for Martyn and Cornelia, it didn’t mean it was what he and Dan needed.

 

By the time he’d returned to the hotel room, Dan was already curled up fast asleep under the covers of the massive hotel bed. He’d left a single lamp on for Phil, and the Beta sneaked around the room, preparing himself for bed as quietly as he could. 

 

Even once he’d turned out the light and slid in beside Dan, though, he didn’t fall asleep for a very long time.

 

 

**

 

Neither he nor Dan brought up the conversation again once they were safely back in their own home. Part of it was that they were simply too busy. Gamingmas was in full swing, which meant that their days were a constant cycle of filming, editing, and posting videos. In amongst all that, they both had to get their Christmas shopping done, which was no small feat considering that between them, they would be celebrating at least three different Christmases: one with Phil’s family, one with Dan’s, and one with their friends in London.

 

The weekend after the Stockholm shows found Phil on the road again as well, headed north for his cousin’s wedding. Martyn came along too, though both Dan and Cornelia had elected not to attend. It was a very distant cousin, after all, and in this busy season, who could really blame them for not wanting to add yet another event to their social calendars?

 

So, Phil found himself riding the train north with his brother instead of his usual companion. Martyn was fun to travel with (even if someone on the train did mistakenly refer to them as “Sir and Madam”), but it was embarrassing how bereft he felt without Dan. He found himself thinking about the baby and wondering if it was awake and kicking right now or hiccuping or asleep. Dan had said that the movements inside him grew stronger almost by the day, and the baby was starting to respond to things like loud noises or sudden changes in temperature.

 

He caught himself worrying about Dan. Was he keeping off his feet enough? Was he really okay going up and down the stairs without help as he had insisted? Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea to leave him behind (even if his mum was there to help out).

 

He probably pulled his phone out at least a dozen times on the three-hour train ride for the express purpose of texting Dan to ask him if he was okay. But each time, he reminded himself that it had barely been an hour or two since they’d parted. Dan was fine. He was a grown man who could take care of himself.

 

The last time he caught himself beginning to type out a concerned message, he had to stop and laugh at himself. Had he really become this clingy? Sure, he and Dan had been pretty much inseparable for the past seven years, but they’d gone off and done things on their own before. Sometimes Phil had gone on family vacations without Dan or vice versa. Sometimes Dan would get invited to some event that Phil wasn’t particularly interested in attending. They’d been apart for days and weeks at a time, with regular texts and Skype calls to keep one another updated, sure, but nothing like this. Phil had never before felt so lonely so quickly.

 

“Almost there,” Martyn’s voice cut across his thoughts. “I think it’s acceptable boyfriend etiquette to text once you’ve arrived safely,” he added, leaning close and whispering in a conspiratorial tone.

 

Phil shot him a look, but he really couldn’t even be mad. He’d earned the teasing.

 

They’d left the train station and hailed a cab to the hotel they’d be staying in when Phil finally caved and dialed Dan’s phone number.

 

“I can’t believe you abandoned me to do all this editing alone,” were the first words out of Dan’s mouth when he answered. “You lazy oaf.”

 

A twist of guilt stung Phil’s insides.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Are you okay? You aren’t letting yourself get too stressed out? You know, it’s fine if we end up having to miss a day.”

 

There was a spluttering sound on the other end.

 

“Phil,” came Dan’s indignant tone. “I was joking. Jesus.”

 

“Oh,” Phil said, feeling supremely stupid. “But…really, are you okay? I can come home.” He could feel Martyn’s gaze boring into the side of his face, but he refused to look into his brother’s judgmental eyes.

 

He heard Dan breathe deeply on the other end.

 

“I miss you too,” he murmured after a moment, “but I’m fine. Go enjoy some quality family time. We’ll see each other again in a couple of days.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right,” he grudgingly agreed. “Can I, uh, say hi to the baby?”

 

Dan snorted, but he consented to put the phone down next to his belly.

 

“Hello,” Phil murmured. “I’m sorry I left you, but I promise I’ll be right back. You be good for your dad, okay? No kicking him at night when he’s trying to sleep. He needs his rest.”

 

“Finished?” he heard Dan clearly say on the other end and blushed as he wondered whether he’d heard everything he was saying.

 

“Yeah,” Phil said. “Talk to you soon.”

 

“Yep,” Dan replied. “Give my regards to the Lester clan.”

 

“Will do.”

 

When they’d hung up, he turned carefully to look out of the window, still not wanting to deal with the way he knew Martyn must be looking at him.

 

“Phil,” he heard his brother say after a moment. His tone sounded serious, so Phil finally turned to look at him. Martyn was studying him with a strange look in his eyes. “Have you two had any more conversations about the ‘m’ word?”

 

Phil’s heart dropped into his stomach.

 

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I mean, it’s only been a few days. I doubt either of our feelings have changed.”

 

Martyn studied him with a narrow-eyed gaze.

 

“Probably not, but… Look, maybe it’s not my place to say anything, but I think I’ve had a pretty good view of your and Dan’s relationship over the years. What I think is that, even if he doesn’t want to marry you, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” His lips curled up into a small, knowing smile. “I don’t think he’s going anywhere.”

 

 

**

 

 

The ceremony was beautiful, and the party after was a lot of fun, with good music and dancing and plenty of food and drink. A lot of the people in attendance were relatives that Phil hadn’t seen in years, so he spent a lot of time catching up and accepting congratulations on the expected addition to the Lester family. There were also quite a few hints dropped—and questions asked outright—about his being the next wedding they would all attend.

 

He did his best to ignore the hints and deflect the questions with lighthearted jokes. There was no way any of them could know how sore a subject it was for him.

 

He finally snapped, though, when his own mother pulled up a chair next to him at a table and proceeded to grill him about the status of his and Dan’s relationship.

 

“Have you been talking to Martyn?” he demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“What?” She looked thoroughly taken aback. “What’s Martyn got to do with you and Dan?”

 

Phil huffed out a frustrated sigh.

 

“Nothing. Never mind.” He raised a hand to run it through his hair, having forgotten just how much product he’d styled it with today. He yanked his fingers out again in disgust. “I just don’t understand where all these questions are suddenly coming from.”

 

“Nowhere, sweetheart,” she said, leaning forward to place a hand on his knee. “I didn’t mean to upset you. You just haven’t been calling much lately, and ever since that conversation we had a couple of months ago…I can’t help but wonder.” She patted his knee. “And worry, too.”

 

Oh. Oh, right. He really hadn’t had a chance to talk to her much lately. Even the time that she and his dad had visited them in London a couple months back had been a bit of whirlwind without much time for catching up. With everything that had been going on, he’d almost completely forgotten about their last conversation, back when it had seemed that maybe he and Dan were on the verge of splitting up.

 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, no longer able to meet her eye. Instead, he let his gaze drop down to her hand where it gripped his knee. “It’s been a…busy couple of months.”

 

“It certainly has,” she agreed in a soothing tone. “Maybe we can discuss this another time.”

 

He was on the verge of assenting, with relief, to put off this conversation until later, when a sudden rush of determined energy filled him. He couldn’t keep putting off these conversations forever, damn it.

 

“No,” he said. “No, we can talk about it now. Dan and I are together again,” he told her flatly, looking back up to watch her reaction.

 

Her whole face transformed into a glowing smile.

 

“That’s wonderful, Phil,” she said. “I’m so happy for the both of you.”

 

He clenched his jaw and nodded.

 

“We’re not getting married, though,” he added, not knowing how to let her down gently. “Dan doesn’t really believe in marriage.”

 

She didn’t stop smiling, but her face took on a searching look.

 

“Does that bother you?” she asked after a moment. “That he doesn’t want to get married?”

 

“A little,” he said slowly. “It doesn’t bother you?”

 

Her eyebrows rose toward her hairline.

 

“Why would it?” She sounded truly puzzled.

 

He jerked his shoulders up and down in a shrug.

 

“I mean, you and Dad got married,” he said. “And, you know, Martyn doesn’t want to get married, so…I figured you’d be disappointed if I don’t either.”

 

She regarded him for a moment with a shrewd, motherly gaze.

 

“Phil, all that matters to me is that you’re happy,” she told him, stretching out her other hand so that she could squeeze both knees now. She gave his legs a little shake. “I married your father because it was what we both wanted for our relationship. If you and Dan are happy with the way things are, that’s all I need to know.”

 

It seemed that Phil hadn’t given his mother enough credit. Or maybe he’d just heard one too many relatives ask him whether he was getting married tonight. It had begun to feel like everyone in his entire family was hung up on the idea of marriage.

 

“Thanks, Mum,” he said, feeling so grateful for her, and for Martyn too. How had he got so lucky to be born into such a great family?

 

“You’re welcome, Son,” she said and bent forward to drop a kiss on the side of his head. “Now, come on, you owe your old mother a dance.”

 

 

**

 

 

He called Dan again as soon as he was back in the hotel room later that evening. Martyn had gone out with some old school friends. Phil supposed he could have done the same, but he really didn’t feel up to it after a full day of wedding and family stuff. No, all he wanted to do right now was curl up in a quiet room and listen to the sound of Dan’s voice.

 

“How was the wedding?” Dan asked right away when he picked up. There was something in his voice, almost a hesitation, that Phil couldn’t help reading into. He was probably thinking about other weddings, ones that would probably never happen.

 

“It was nice,” Phil yawned, yanking the duvet on the hotel bed up over him further. Manchester in December was freezing, even with the heating on. “Saw lots of family. Got congratulated a lot for my fertility.”

 

On the other end of the line, Dan chuckled.

 

“Only one of your many fine qualities,” he murmured, sounding nearly as tired as Phil felt. “The Akinator video is doing pretty well.”

 

“Mm, good,” Phil hummed, snuggling deeper into the pillows. He listened for a while as Dan told him about view counts and mentions on Twitter and the other sorts of things that Dan seemed to obsess about way more than he did. When the Omega’s voice finally came to a stop, he asked, “How are you feeling? Feet still bothering you?”

 

“A little,” Dan muttered. “Been mostly sitting down editing all day, though, so they aren’t too bad. My mum did buy me some epsom salts and told me I should be bathing my feet with them each night.”

 

“I’ll massage them for you when I get back,” Phil drawled, his voice growing ever sleepier.

 

“Mmm, I love your massages,” Dan replied. There was a slight pause, and then, “I also love you, you know.”

 

Phil suddenly wasn’t sleepy at all. His heart gave a loud thump inside his chest.

 

“Yeah?” he breathed, his voice barely there. “Cuz I love you too.”

 

“I was hoping you would say that,” came Dan’s soft voice from the other end of the line. Phil heard him let out a long breath. “I miss you so much.”

 

Inside his chest, Phil’s heart felt like it was going to explode from all the happiness pouring into it.

 

“I miss you too,” he said. “I can’t wait to see you again tomorrow.”

 

“Me either,” came Dan’s immediate reply. “We’re disgusting, aren’t we?” he added a moment later, breathing out a soft laugh.

 

“We are,” Phil agreed, “but honestly? I couldn’t care less.”

 

 

**

 

Phil woke to a dark and quiet hotel room sometime in the small hours of the morning. At first he thought the faint breathing sounds he heard were coming from Martyn in the bed a few feet away. Opening his eyes, though, he saw the dim outline of his mobile lying on the pillow beside him and realized it was the source of the sound.

 

He reached over and tapped the screen. A tiny smile curled his lips when he saw Dan’s picture there along with a counter showing that their current phone call had been going on for more than six hours now. They’d fallen asleep on the phone with each other. That hadn’t happened in years.

 

He let the screen go dark again and set the phone back down beside him. The sounds on the other end were very faint but unmistakable. Was it weird that he could recognize Dan just by the sound of his breathing?

 

Closing his eyes, he focused in on just that sound, the subtle sound that told him everything was good and right in the world. He drifted back to sleep, his heart fuller than he’d ever imagined it could be.


	15. Binary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil comes home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually kind of impressed I managed to get this up this weekend, after the week I've had. Thank you so, so much to everyone who left such lovely comments on the previous chapter. They genuinely warmed my heart. <3 Next chapter on Wednesday!

_This is completely ridiculous._

 

The thought crossed Dan’s mind for what had to be at least the twelfth time in the past hour.

 

He was knelt in the laundry room methodically sorting their laundry into whites, brights, reds, and darks. (So what if that last one was the largest pile? He just looked good in black, okay?) His mum had just done the laundry, like, two days ago, and none of them was in the least danger of running out of clean clothes.

 

The problem was that he had already spent as much time sitting on the couch watching Netflix as he could stand, gaming had been raising his blood pressure too much, and his usual internet activities just weren’t enough of a distraction. He’d tried to do several other chores—washing dishes, vacuuming, dusting, mopping, but all of them involved standing for long periods of time, which was something that he just couldn’t do at the moment. It was either sit on the floor and sort the laundry or sit around and fidget, and he’d spent much of the morning doing the latter already.

 

He sighed and shook his head at the unbelievable level his ridiculousness had reached as he dropped the last pair of Phil’s boxers in the pile of brights.

 

It was just gone 4:00 in the afternoon, and based on the text Phil had sent him that morning, his train should have pulled into King’s Cross about three minutes ago. He was currently resisting the urge to pull his phone from his pocket and text Phil to ask whether the train had arrived on time or not. He’d had to resist quite a few urges to send Phil pointless texts over the past several hours.

 

“Pull yourself together, man,” Dan muttered under his breath as he hauled himself to his feet and then scooped up the heap of dark-colored clothes.

 

What had been especially ridiculous, he reflected as he shoved the clothes into their brand new front-loading washer, was waking up this morning to the sound of Phil’s soft snores—coming through his iPhone from the other end of an eleven hour phone call.

 

When it had finally gotten through to his sleep-addled brain exactly what had happened, he’d only been able to stare at the phone in mute shock.

 

Long, long, long ago, when his and Phil’s early online communications had escalated from tentative messaging to full-blown Skype calls, they’d often been able to rack up hours of talking, playing games, or just generally hanging out over video chat. Later, when their romantic relationship had been in its first, heady blush, they’d been able to stay up talking all night every night. It hadn’t been uncommon for one or the other of them to fall asleep after one of these marathon Skype or phone sessions. Once, just once, before, they’d both fallen asleep while Skyping one another. However, Phil’s internet had been kind of shit back then, so at some point in the night, it had glitched and hung up the call.

 

Of course, that had been in early 2010, back when they were so head over heels in love that Dan had felt like he would die if he went too many hours in a row without hearing Phil’s voice. That period of their relationship was, by now, ancient history.

 

Nevertheless, last night, after a mere twenty-eight hours of separation, they’d been so desperately lonely for each other, that they’d preferred to fall asleep mid-phone call rather than hang up.

 

“Absolutely ridiculous,” Dan repeated as he gave the washer’s start button a savage twist.

 

And today?

 

Today, Dan had been restless from the moment he’d hung up (and, yeah, he might have just possibly whispered a soft morning greeting into the phone before ending the stupidly long call). Nothing he did seemed enough to occupy him, so much so that he’d now resorted to doing actual laundry just to keep his mind from wondering how much longer it would be until Phil got home already.

 

His phone buzzed in his pocket ( _finally_ ).

 

It was, as expected, a text from Phil:

 

_on my way. be there in about forty-five. <3_

 

Dan’s heart gave an excited squeeze inside his chest before leaping into frenzied action. Staring down at that little heart emoji, he couldn’t help but remember the conversation with Phil last night.

 

_I also love you, you know?_

 

He could almost cringe remembering what he’d said. If he was going to make some great declaration of love, couldn’t he have actually planned it instead of blurting it out randomly in the middle of a different conversation? He wasn’t some infatuated teenager anymore. He should have at least had enough self-control to wait until Phil was home again to say it.

 

But no, as he and Phil had chatted back and forth, had admitted how much they’d missed each other, there had been a pressure steadily growing inside him. Looking back now, he could see that it had been growing for quite a while now, though he couldn’t exactly pinpoint its beginning. ( _Was it only after he’d found out about the baby or had it started some time long before?)_ Last night, it had finally reached the limit of his capacity to contain it any longer, and the words had come tumbling out of him and straight into Phil’s ear: _I love you_.

 

He’d loved Phil for a long time, of course. Break-up or no, Phil had remained his closest friend, the most important and most constant part of his life. He could as easily stop loving Phil as he could stop loving breathing or eating or sleeping.

 

But it had been many years since he’d felt his love for Phil so strongly that he’d been compelled to put it into words.

 

What he’d felt yesterday, that yearning, that sense of being separated from some vital part of himself…and then the rush of relief and joy at hearing Phil’s voice on the other end of the line again—it had overwhelmed him to the point of demanding expression.

 

“I miss you” had felt like too little. If Phil had been physically present, he might have tried to show him his feelings rather than speak them.

 

At that moment, though, all he’d had to express himself were words, and the only words that had seemed to fit were “I love you.”

 

And then Phil had said them back.

 

_hurry home_

 

Dan typed the text out with trembling fingers and then pressed send. There was no actual way Phil could make the tube ride from King’s Cross to their closest station any shorter. No actual way for him to hurry. But of course that wasn’t the point.

 

By the time the washer played its little melody to announce that it had finished its cycle, Phil still wasn’t home, but he would be any minute now. Dan’s heart was fluttering in his throat, beating so fast that the baby had woken up and started wiggling around. He set a soothing hand on his belly.

 

“You excited that your other dad is coming home, too?” he murmured absently. “Can’t blame you, really. He’s kind of the best thing in the entire world. Well,” he added, giving his bump a warm pat, “except for you.”

 

He heard a car door slam outside but didn’t think much of it until he also heard footsteps on the pavement and the distinct sound of a rolling suitcase’s wheels dragging up the walk toward their front door.

 

He’d been sitting on the sofa, trying yet again to distract himself by checking his social media, but now his laptop was snapped shut and carelessly flung aside, and he was on his feet and starting toward the front door when he heard the sound of the lock clicking and then the door swinging open.

 

“I’m home,” came Phil’s voice, sounding a little worn.

 

“In the living room,” Dan called.

 

A moment later, Phil appeared at the living room door, one hand grasping the pop-up handle of his suitcase, the other settled on the door frame. Dan didn’t know why, but seeing Phil standing there, gazing at him with that small smile on his lips made him feel strangely shy.

 

Why should he feel shy around Phil of all people?

 

“Welcome home,” Dan said, reaching out a hand to steady himself on the back of the sofa. There was a long silence as Phil still stood staring at him, and Dan waited for a response that didn’t come. Finally, heart beating too hard to let him stand still any longer, he took a few steps forward and asked, “Can I get you a drink or something? You must be tired—“

 

He never finished his sentence because Phil had let go of his suitcase and marched right up to him and crushed him close in a heart-stopping embrace.

 

“I missed you so damn much,” he murmured into the crook of Dan’s neck. 

 

Dan’s heart was clamoring against his ribcage, and the baby was practically doing somersaults, but when he buried his nose in Phil’s hair and breathed deeply of the Beta’s scent, he felt a sort of peace settle over him.

 

Then he felt Phil’s lips against the skin of his neck, and the peaceful feeling melted in a sudden surge of heat.

 

“Upstairs?” Dan murmured as Phil’s lips felt their way blindly up to his jawline.

 

“Mm hmm,” he replied.

 

When they’d made it up to their room, Phil stopped in the doorway and blinked at the sight in front of him.

 

“Did you actually make the bed?” he demanded, walking over and smoothing a palm over the beautifully wrinkle-free surface.

 

“Maybe,” Dan muttered, pulling his t-shirt off over his head and hoping Phil would be distracted from asking any further questions by the sight of his naked torso.

 

“That bored without me?” the Beta asked, raising his eyebrows and then reaching down for the hem of his own t-shirt.

 

“Maybe,” Dan mumbled in an even quieter voice, bending his head so that he could focus on slipping off his sweatpants.

 

He heard a small chuckle from Phil and glanced up to see the Beta with his shirt off and his hands reaching for the button of his jeans.

 

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire time I was away,” he said, stepping out of his jeans and then kneeling down on the bed.

 

Free of his own sweatpants, Dan made to climb onto the bed as well, but Phil held out a hand to stop him.

 

“Wait,” he said. A slight pink color crept up into his cheeks. “I want to look at you.”

 

Heat flooded Dan’s chest and face, but he stepped back and stood at the edge of the bed again while the Beta’s eyes raked slowly over him. He wondered what exactly he was seeing. Dan was still wearing his pants (plain black Calvin Klein boxer briefs today). His abdomen had begun to swell a little larger every day, as had his breasts. Normally, he was very flat-chested, but within the past few weeks, first his nipples and then the flesh around them had begun to grow puffy and tender. He hadn’t acquired any stretch marks yet, though all of his books and online research indicated that those would likely come soon.

 

“You look so beautiful like this, Dan,” Phil murmured then. “I mean, you’ve always been beautiful, but… _God_.” 

 

Dan bit his lip and climbed up onto the bed at last. He crawled across to where Phil was still knelt and leaned in close to his ear.

 

“My name’s Dan, actually, but ‘god’ works,” he whispered.

 

Phil let out a bark of laughter and then gave him a gentle shove. Dan let himself fall onto his back, where he lay chuckling against the now very wrinkled duvet.

 

“Shut up,” Phil breathed as he climbed over Dan, planting a knee either side of his hips. He bent his face to the Omega’s chest and pressed a soft kiss in the shallow dip between his breasts. Dan let out a soft whimper. There was something that felt so primally good about having a large, warm body covering him, pressing him down into the bed.

 

Phil’s lips traced their way up to his right nipple, leaving a trail of kisses in their wake that left Dan shivering and flushed. The Beta paused when he reached the swollen nipple, still soft and unaroused, and cast a quick glance up at Dan’s face.

 

When their eyes met, Dan heaved a deep breath, trying to clear the dizziness that was overtaking his mind. He nodded, and then the tip of Phil’s tongue darted out and swiped once, twice, again over the sensitive point.

 

Dan couldn’t stop himself from squirming a little at the sharp, sudden pleasure. He was so much more sensitive there now, almost as sensitive as he became during heat. Even those few tiny touches had sent electric darts of pleasure shooting down through his belly and straight to his cock.

 

He whimpered again, and then the Beta’s lips closed around the nipple, sucking gently and making Dan’s hips arch up off the bed, pushing his body hard against the Beta’s.

 

Phil made a pleased hum in the back of his throat and then pulled off.

 

“Everything about your body is so perfect,” he murmured, his breath almost unbearably cold against the wet skin. Dan shivered and his hands came up, clutching at the bare skin of the Beta’s back.

 

Phil pressed a slow, reverent kiss against the nipple, and Dan’s eyelids shuddered closed.

 

He felt the Beta’s body shift, and then he had bent to the other breast, using the tip of his tongue to tease the nipple awake, each stroke drawing a deeper, sharper pleasure from Dan’s body, and then sucking at it, gently at first and then harder, as though he meant to feed from it.

 

Dan’s entire body flushed with a mixture of excitement and confused embarrassment at the wayward thought, but Phil had already released his nipple and begun kissing his languid way down the Omega’s stomach by then, so he let the thought pass without further examination.

 

Phil paused when he reached the stretched skin just below Dan’s protruding belly button.

 

“Is the baby kicking right now?” he murmured in a voice that sounded slightly puzzled.

 

“Yeah,” Dan murmured back, raising his head a little so that he could make out the almost-frown on Phil’s features. “I think it’s because my heart is beating really fast right now.”

 

“Weird,” Phil muttered. “I could actually feel it when I kissed your belly.”

 

Dan huffed out a laugh.

 

“That’s not that weird,” he said, scratching his fingernails lightly down Phil’s back, hoping that would encourage him to get on with it already. He had already grown quite hard inside his boxer briefs and was very ready for Phil to kiss his way lower.

 

“Well, not weird that I could feel it,” Phil explained, his forehead wrinkling further. “Just weird that, like, the baby is right there and, you know…experiencing this along with us, sort of.”

 

Dan stopped scratching and instead sank his elbows down onto the bed to propel himself into a more upright position.

 

“It’s just a fetus,” he pointed out, raising an eyebrow. “And it’s underneath several layers of skin and muscle and an entire sac of amniotic fluid. It has no idea what you and I are getting up to out here.”

 

Phil nodded, his frown turning into a thoughtful expression. He turned his head to the side and lay one ear against Dan’s belly.

 

“What in the world are you doing, you dingus?” Dan asked, mostly amused and only mildly annoyed that Phil had ceased the very important journey he had been making down Dan’s body.

 

“Just listening,” Phil replied.

 

Dan rolled his eyes and then lay back down, waiting for Phil to finish whatever it was he thought he was doing.

 

Finally, the Beta raised his head again.

 

“Hear anything?” Dan prompted.

 

Phil shook his head. Dan refrained from making a snide comment and instead brought his hands back up to caress Phil’s naked back again.

 

“The baby is fine,” he said, catching the Beta’s eye and holding it. “People have been having sex while pregnant for as long as people have existed, and we’re all still here. Our parents probably both had sex while they were pregnant with us, and you and I both came out fine. So,” he concluded, running one hand up into Phil’s hair to give it a gentle tug, “let’s get on with it, yeah?”

 

Phil made a sheepish expression and then pressed his forehead against Dan’s baby bump and nodded.

 

Dan waited, carding his fingers through Phil’s hair for a moment before at last the Beta raised his head again and crawled back up the bed until his face was hovering just inches above Dan’s.

 

His eyes glittered in the bright light from their bedroom window as they studied Dan’s face intently. Outside, it was cloudy in that way that diffused all the sunlight and turned the afternoon bright white.

 

“I love you,” Phil murmured then, looking Dan directly in the eye. “I haven’t told you that straight to your face in far too long.”

 

Dan squeezed his arms tighter around Phil, drawing the Beta’s body down to rest more of his weight on top of him.

 

“Me too,” he whispered, “I should have told you how much I loved you more often over these past few years. I love you, Phil. So much.”

 

A fleeting smile crossed the Beta’s lips before he bent and began kissing Dan with fervor. Dan returned his kisses just as ardently, blood pulsing in his ears, heart pounding in his chest, and the baby kicking away inside his belly.

 

Phil wrenched himself away then and began trailing a hurried path of kisses down Dan’s body again. Dan urged him on with moans and soft mutterings of affection and his fingers brushing over Phil’s back and shoulders and hair.

 

When he reached the waistline of Dan’s pants, Phil slipped his fingers inside and slid them down, quickly, baring the Omega’s eager member in a single movement. He didn’t touch him right away, though. Instead, he took his time enjoying Dan’s bared body, mouthing kisses into the delicate skin that sloped from his hipbones down toward the joining of his legs and then further, down inside his thighs and up between them. The Beta’s lips were gentle but insistent, nipping, caressing, his tongue running out to leave a shivery trail of moisture here and there.

 

It didn’t take long for Dan to find himself dizzy again, body trembling with tension and desire.

 

“Please,” he whimpered after a while, needing something more, anything—a squeeze, a suck, a finger or two inside.

 

“What do you want, love?” came Phil’s muffled voice. The words were spoken into the sensitive skin of his inner thigh, and they tickled as much as they aroused.

 

“Touch me,” Dan begged. “Make me feel good.”

 

Phil turned his cheek further into Dan’s flesh, letting his lips brush a teasing kiss inside the thigh again.

 

“I want to make love to you,” he murmured then. “Like this, where I can watch your face while I’m inside you.”

 

“Yes,” Dan sighed, eyes squeezing shut as another shiver passed through him. He could almost feel Phil inside him already. He needed it so badly. “Please,” he said again.

 

The Beta kissed his thigh one more time and then reached up a finger to explore the cleft between Dan’s buttocks.

 

“You’re already so wet,” he observed, and Dan could feel it, the slick gathering there, a side-effect of the crazy hormones pumping through his pregnant body.

 

“Want you,” Dan explained in the most coherent way his brain could muster right now.

 

He felt the probing fingertip slip inside then, and he wriggled a little at the sensation of being penetrated finally.

 

“More,” he whined, so Phil obligingly slid a couple more fingers inside. Dan’s slicked opening spread easily to accommodate them, and they quickly slid in down past the second knuckle. “‘M already ready for you. Phil, please.”

 

“Mmm,” the Beta hummed, dragging his fingers free. He looked up to make sure he held Dan’s gaze and then stretched out his tongue and slowly, far too slowly, cleaned Dan’s moisture from each one of his three fingers.

 

All Dan could die was lie there and watch, his cock, still untouched, aching where it lay throbbing against his abdomen. He could feel the sticky patch of wet it was making on his skin. When he gave another whine, Phil finally relented, pulling back from his fingers and then using his hands instead to grasp Dan’s thighs and spread them apart.

 

Eager, Dan ran his hands down the Beta’s back, curving his palms around those perfectly-shaped buttocks and giving them a squeeze.

 

He felt the involuntary jerk of Phil’s hips at the contact. He pushed a little with his palms, drawing Phil’s body closer, trying to urge his cock down to where Dan so desperately wanted it.

 

The Beta’s gaze had dropped down to the space between their bodies now, to where Dan couldn’t see, thanks to the obstruction of his swollen abdomen. As he watched, Phil let go of his left thigh and reached down with his right hand. A moment later, he felt the blunt tip of the Beta’s erect cock bumping up against his slippery rim.

 

“Yes, fuck,” he muttered, and then he felt Phil pushing in, stretching him wide around his thick cock. The stretch was just this side of painful, after the minimal preparation, but it was good. It was so good, feeling the way his body accepted Phil, opened up to him, the way every nerve ending inside him could feel the hardness and the heat and the fullness of Phil. 

 

When he had slid completely inside, the Beta looked up at him again, meeting his eyes, just like he’d said he would.

 

“This part of your body is perfect, too,” he said, his low and rough. His eyelids fluttered shut, and he bit a lip as he rolled his hips forward, pushing himself just a little bit deeper. The movement inside him sent ripples of pleasure out through Dan’s entire lower body and up into his stomach.

 

Phil opened his eyes then and leaned forward, propping himself up on one hand while the other gripped Dan’s thigh and held his legs open, making it easier for Phil to pull out partway and then plunge deep again.

 

He fucked Dan slowly, a constant in and out, push and pull, eyes gazing into Dan’s all the while. Neither of them spoke. It was as though every word they might have said was being spoken instead through their eyes or through that place where their bodies joined together and drew apart and then joined together once again.

 

They took their time building up to their peak, the pleasure a slow burn inside them, growing more unbearable the closer they came to climax.

 

Finally, Phil’s restraint broke, and heaving a great, shuddering breath, he dropped himself down on top of Dan, elbows braced either side of him as he thrust hard and harder into him, driving himself deep into Dan’s body until at last he moaned low in his throat and Dan felt hot moisture spurting inside him.

 

When he had finished, the Beta didn’t pull out. Propping himself back up again, he gazed down at Dan with a flushed face while he reached down between them and at last took hold of Dan’s leaking cock. He squeezed and tugged it, pressed a thumb over the head, twisted and teased it while he fucked lazily into Dan’s throbbing hole.

 

All at once, Dan was coming, the pleasure pulsing out from inside his passageway that clenched tight around Phil’s cock hard inside it and from his own cock, squeezed tight inside Phil’s fist, and from his balls and his thighs and his abdomen, until it felt like his whole body was pulsing with the rolling waves of pleasure.

 

Phil held him for a long time afterward, cradled inside his arms while he pressed the occasional kiss to his cheek or forehead or hair and whispered again how perfect he was, how much he loved him. Dan murmured something back, but he was so sleepy and contented, he wasn’t entirely sure he was speaking real words.

 

 

**

 

They both woke sometime toward evening, to the sound of the front door opening and closing downstairs.

 

His Omega mum was home from work.

 

After a few mumbled endearments and a few more kisses, they finally managed to haul themselves out of bed and clean up before they headed downstairs to see about their dinner.

 

“Welcome back,” Omega Howell called over her shoulder as they stepped into the kitchen. She was stood in front of the refrigerator, examining its contents with a critical air. “How was the wedding?”

 

“Thanks,” Phil said, coming up behind Dan in the kitchen doorway. “It was lovely. Good to see the extended family again, too.”

 

“That’s always nice,” Omega Howell agreed and then closed the refrigerator door. “I’m afraid that Dan and I both neglected to restock while you were gone, though. What do you two think of splurging on a takeaway this evening?”

 

Seeing as neither of them was much interested in a trip to the supermarket, a short while later found the three of them lazing about the living room with Indian takeaway, chatting about their days and their plans for the upcoming holidays. He and Phil would be having a celebration with some friends the following weekend before heading up to have an early Christmas with the Lesters. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day themselves would be spent back here, with Dan’s Omega mum and, somewhat grudgingly, his younger brother.

 

They were just about done eating, when Dan’s mum cast him a considering gaze and then set aside her carton.

 

“I had a text from your Alpha Mum today,” she said, looking away from him again as she spoke.

 

Dan swallowed so hard, he almost choked on his mouthful of chicken vindaloo. Phil had to pound his back a few times while his mum got him some water before they were able to resume the conversation.

 

“What did she have to say for herself?” he finally rasped out when they were all settled again.

 

Omega Howell was very studiously not meeting his gaze. Instead, her eyes seemed to be focused on the shaggy, grey rug that graced their living room floor.

 

“Oh, a variety of things,” she muttered, giving a wave of one slender hand. She paused, and drew in a deep breath before letting it out in a measured way. “The main thing, though, is that she would like to see you and your brother at Christmas.”

 

She paused again, perhaps to give Dan a moment to process that. He certainly needed it. His brain was caught somewhere between an outraged protest and some sort of undefined yearning… Some part of him that was still a worried little kid, wishing that his parents wouldn’t fight so much and that everything could just be happy and normal again.

 

He sighed.

 

“She could have texted us instead,” he pointed out in order to give himself time to consider how he was even going to respond.

 

His Omega mum gave a shrug and made a vague gesture.

 

“Apparently she did message your brother and didn’t get a very, ah, encouraging response.”

 

Dan snorted.

 

“That’s no surprise.”

 

“Hmm,” she agreed. “So I told her. But she asked me to pass the request on to you myself.”

 

He had to suppress the urge to grimace.

 

“I can’t believe you’re even willing to talk to her,” he muttered.

 

“Well,” she replied, shrugging again. “I’ve been ignoring most of her calls and texts. I only responded to this one because it was about you and your brother. Whatever problems she and I have, we are still your parents. You two are very important to the both of us.”

 

Dan looked up sharply, trying to read his mum’s expression, though she still had her face turned away. She was curled up in an armchair, legs tucked underneath her body and arms crossed over her chest. Not a posture that invited prying. He hadn’t known that his Omega mum had been ignoring calls and texts from her wife. He’d just assumed that his Alpha Mum, newly free of the inhibiting presence of her spouse, was happily living it up with her Beta lover. He couldn’t help but wonder what she had been calling and texting about.

 

“I think you should see her,” his mum said then, continuing her staring contest with the rug. “She is still your Alpha Mother after all, and it’s Christmas.”

 

He heard a rustle of movement beside him and turned to see that Phil had shifted a little where he was sat on the other end of the sofa. He was watching Dan with a concerned frown. Dan bit his lip and then turned back to his mum.

 

“Mum,” he said slowly, “does she know, um, that the baby is an Alpha?”

 

She finally looked up then, eyes gone a bit wide.

 

“No,” she said, blinking. “Not that I know of, at least. Why do you ask?”

 

He felt a hand slip around his lower back, and some of the tension eased from his body. Thank god for Phil.

 

“It’s just, after some of the things she said a few months ago,” he tried to explain, “I’m not sure how she’ll react.”

 

He watched his Omega mother’s expression cloud over as she took that in. Her brow wrinkled up, and her gaze dropped down again. After a moment, she slowly nodded.

 

“I get what you mean,” she muttered and then heaved a sigh. “But she’ll have to know sooner or later. Unless you were planning to cut her out of your life entirely…and the baby’s. Is that what you were planning?” She looked up then to search Dan’s face, her own still bearing a troubled expression.

 

“I honestly haven’t decided,” he replied, shaking his head. “I hate the thought of doing that. It seems…extreme.” He paused, trying to gather his scattered thoughts. The hand on his lower back rubbed a few soothing circles against his jumper. “I just don’t know if meeting up with her is something I can handle right now. Phil and I are very busy with work and still recovering from the tour. There’s so much still to do for Christmas… To be quite honest, I think she’ll have to wait until New Year’s.”

 

His mum looked thoughtful and then nodded her head.

 

“All right,” she said, looking grim. “I’ll let her know.”

 

“No, I will,” Dan replied at once. “This is about my relationship with her. You shouldn’t have to get involved.”

 

Her eyes skittered away again, but she nodded in agreement.

 

“Thank you, Dan,” she murmured, and for a moment she seemed to hunch even further into herself.

 

There was a long pause and then she jumped to her feet, slapping her hands against her thighs in a decided gesture.

 

“Think I’m going to turn in early,” she announced, tossing a quick glance and a forced smile in their direction. “Good night, boys. I hope you both sleep well.”

 

“Good night, mum,” Dan murmured, closing his lips tightly on the other words that wanted to come out. She was an adult. She would talk to him when and if she needed.

 

“Good night,” Phil chimed in, and then Omega Howell left for bed.

 

 

**

 

It was several hours later, after Dan himself had drawn out the process of brushing his teeth and putting on his pajamas and generally getting ready for bed for as long as he could. But there was finally nothing else left to do except actually get in bed.

 

Well, that and text his Alpha Mum.

 

He’d dawdled for so long that Phil was already curled up on one side of the bed, snoring softly beneath the duvet.

 

_You can do this_ , Dan reminded himself. _She’s your Mum. You’ve texted her a million times._

 

He braced himself and unlocked his phone. Trying not to think too hard about it, he tapped on the Messages app and then swiftly typed out the message he’d spent the last few hours carefully composing inside his head.

 

 

_I heard that you were interested in seeing me at Christmas. Unfortunately, my schedule does not currently have any extra time around Christmas, but I would be interested in meeting up around New Year’s. Please let me know when would be convenient for you._

 

 

When he’d finished typing, he hit send without even proofreading it. He was afraid he would get cold feet and decide not to send it at all.

 

The moment he saw the word “Sent” pop up at the bottom of the screen, he closed the app and then powered down his phone, tossing it into a nearby chair. Then he snapped off the bedside lamp, climbed under the duvet, snuggled up against Phil’s solid warmth, and did his best not to wonder what kind of reply might be waiting for him in the morning.


	16. Duo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple of Christmases

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your patience! I think I needed more time to recover from last week than I had expected. However, here is the new chapter at last. Just a reminder, you can always check my Twitter @phan_anonfics for writing updates. Look for the next chapter on Monday! And a big thank you for everyone who has been reading, leaving kudos, or commenting. You all are the best!! <3

“Finally!” Phil huffed out and then collapsed backward onto the living room rug. He still held a pair of scissors in one hand and a roll of sellotape in the other. He raised his head just enough that he could see Dan where he was methodically creasing wrapping paper around a box. He still had several more gifts left to wrap. “Hurry up, you slowpoke,” Phil called and then collapsed again.

 

He grinned when he heard Dan’s indignant snort.

 

“Just because I’m taking my time to wrap mine _nicely_ doesn’t make me a slowpoke,” he snapped, though without heat. “Yours look like a fetus wrapped them.” There was a pause, and then he added, “Actually, I think that’s an insult to fetuses. Sorry, baby.”

 

Phil just smiled more deeply and closed his eyes. He’d lit a couple of Christmasy candles before they’d got started on their marathon wrapping session, so the house smelled of delicious Christmas scents: cinnamon, evergreen, vanilla, and spices. There was soft Christmas music playing from the TV’s speakers, mingling with the crackle of the fire in the hearth and the muted rustling of paper and ribbon as Dan continued his careful gift wrapping. They’d finally had a chance to finish decorating the house yesterday (mostly thanks to Omega Howell, who had seemed almost grimly determined to make this Christmas as festive as humanly possible). Even without his eyes open, he could see the tinsel hung along the mantel, the stockings dangling from their gold-toned hooks, the garlands and wreaths adorning the walls, and the huge, real tree taking up an entire corner of the living room.

 

The three of them had spent a few hours two evenings ago sipping hot cider and cocoa while they trimmed the tree all together. Happiness fluttered through his stomach at the memory. He could still picture the way Dan’s Christmas jumper had stretched over the baby bump as he reached up to hang a bauble on a high branch. It had made him think about the fact that this was their first Christmas together with the baby (sort of). And the fact that by next Christmas, they would have a nearly year old child. It almost didn’t seem real.

 

It was December 17th, and for once, Phil had finished all of his Christmas shopping and gift wrapping before Christmas Eve. It was a strange side effect of their lives having been so busy lately: they’d become frighteningly well-organized.

 

In fact this was their last really free day for a while. The next several days leading up to Christmas were all planned out almost to the minute. Tomorrow, they had a full day of activities planned for “Friendmas,” when they would celebrate the holiday with Bryony, Chris, and a couple of their other close friends here in London. Then the next couple of days would involve them filming and editing the last few Gamingmas videos (and he couldn’t believe the end of Gamingmas was actually in sight!) so that they wouldn’t have to worry about them while traveling and celebrating the holidays. 

 

Then they’d be traveling up north to spend a few days with Phil’s family. This was the first time Dan was coming up north with him for a holiday since they’d broken up. They’d celebrated Christmas together a couple of times back when they were dating, though not every single one. Phil grimaced a little as he remembered the wedding last weekend. He really _really_ hoped Dan wasn’t going to be bombarded with awkward questions like he had been. He didn’t have very high hopes.

 

After that, they would come back south, where (some of) Dan’s extended family would be gathering here in their house for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. After debating back and forth for a while, they’d decided that with their new house, they had the most space out of everyone in the family. It would only be Dan’s Omega mother’s side, of course, so on Boxing Day, they would be making a trip over to Berkshire to see some of the Howell side of the family….not including Dan’s Alpha Mum, though.

 

Dan had heard back a strangely subdued response from her a few days ago. She’d expressed disappointment about missing him at Christmas, but she’d agreed readily enough to meeting up after the New Year. Even Phil had been privately surprised at her easy acquiescence. Neither he nor Dan knew what to make of it.

 

He pushed himself back upright then, just in time to see Dan give the final bow on his final gift a little fluff before sitting back with a weary but satisfied air.

 

“Beautiful,” the Omega said, smiling a smug smile to himself and then glancing up at Phil. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

 

“You or the gift wrapping?” Phil asked, cocking his head to the side and grinning wide.

 

Dan snorted and then pushed the gift over to join its brethren under the tree.

 

“You know how I feel about you getting sappy,” he muttered.

 

“You love it?” Phil asked, raising his eyebrows in a hopeful expression.

 

Dan shook his head and mumbled something under his breath, but Phil could see that he was suppressing a smile.

 

The Omega sat forward then and began to gather up all of the wrapping supplies. With a hefty groan, Phil heaved himself upright too and helped out. When they’d pulled everything together into a neat pile, Phil hopped to his feet and started gathering tape rolls, scissors, spools of ribbon, gift tags, and various half-used tubes of wrapping paper into his arms. He heard another groan and looked over to see Dan using the arm of a chair to pull himself up from the floor. 

 

“Need help?” Phil asked, preparing himself to dump his entire armful of supplies and rush over to help his pregnant…uh…Dan to his feet.

 

“Nah, I got it,” Dan assured him, hoisting himself to his feet and then leaning on the chair for a moment to steady himself. Even before he was pregnant, Dan would sometimes get dizzy when he stood up after sitting for a long time. From what he’d told Phil, pregnancy had exacerbated the problem.

 

It took all of Phil’s self-control to keep from rushing over anyway, but he did, and after a moment, Dan shook himself and let go of the armchair. He held his hands out, and Phil handed him a couple of the wrapping paper tubes.

 

“Come on,” he scoffed. “I can carry more than that.”

 

Phil shrugged and then handed him a roll of sellotape and a spool of ribbon. Dan opened his mouth to demand more, but Phil quickly turned his back and headed for the office. He heard faint grumbling behind him but ignored it. No matter what Dan said, Phil could tell that he was tired. He hadn’t slept very well the past few nights, between the baby kicking at odd hours and needing to get up a couple of times during the night for a wee. Or at least, that’s what Dan told him. Phil himself had been sleeping like a babe in arms.

 

When they’d got all the supplies put away, Dan stretched and let out a loud yawn, and Phil decided he’d had enough.

 

“Go take a nap,” he said. “You’re clearly exhausted.”

 

It was a measure of how tired Dan really was that he didn’t even argue. While the Omega headed upstairs to snooze in their bedroom, Phil busied himself downstairs, blowing out the candles, turning off the music, and then sitting down at the desktop computer in the office to work on some video editing. Their Gamingmas video for today was already uploading, so all that was needed was for him to make it public and post it on all their social media once it was finished.

 

He’d barely been working for twenty minutes when the front door clicked open, and he heard the sounds of Omega Howell arriving home. Concerned that she might accidentally wake Dan, he pulled off his headphones and went to intercept her.

 

He caught up with her in the front hall and was on the verge of welcoming her home when he noticed that her face was all red and her eyes were wet. For a moment, he wondered if he should back away and allow her some privacy, but then she looked up and caught sight of him, and his chance was gone.

 

“Oh, Phil. Hello,” she murmured in a stuffy voice. She gave a little sniff and then began fishing around in her pockets.

 

“Here,” Phil said, grabbing a box of tissues from the table where they dropped their keys. As many allergies as he had, their house was always well-stocked.

 

“Thanks, love,” she said, pulling a tissue free and then dabbing at her eyes.

 

Omega Howell had worked an early shift today, so she was home much earlier than usual. It was barely gone three in the afternoon, though outside the sky was already growing darker.

 

He waited patiently while she grabbed a second tissue and finished cleaning up her face. Internally, he was debating whether it would be more polite to ask her what was wrong or to let her be. On the one hand, they’d grown much closer over these past several weeks of living together. It was difficult not to be on intimate terms with someone who shared your home, meals, and daily schedule. On the other hand, her private life was none of his business at all.

 

“Would you like some coffee or tea? I was just thinking I might make some,” he finally settled for. “Dan’s just gone upstairs for a nap,” he added.

 

“Tea would be wonderful,” she said, offering him a wan smile and then stuffing her used tissues in the pocket of her work trousers.

 

“Two cups of tea, coming right up,” he said, returning her smile and then bustling off to the kitchen. Behind him, he heard the sounds of her shuffling into the living room and making herself comfortable on the sofa.

 

Once in the kitchen, Phil took his time filling the kettle and taking down two mugs for them. He still didn’t know whether to ask her what was wrong. Maybe the best thing to do was just to let her be. If she really wanted to talk to him about what was bothering her, she probably would, right?

 

With this resolve in mind, he headed back out to the living room with the two mugs full of steeping tea a few minutes later. Omega Howell was still sat there on the sofa, frowning down at her knees.

 

He set her mug down on the coffee table in front of her and then made himself comfortable in an armchair. Fortunately, Dan had left his laptop sitting nearby, so Phil picked it up and started browsing at random. He’d give it a few minutes, and if it seemed like Omega Howell would rather be left alone, he’d head back to his editing.

 

“Oh, thank you,” he heard after a moment. She must have been so lost in thought she hadn’t heard him come back in at first.

 

“You’re welcome,” he replied, glancing up at her with a smile and then back down at the computer screen. He’d opened Twitter, which was, of course, logged into Dan’s account. He made a mental note to himself to check the progress of the uploading video soon.

 

“I see you two got all the presents wrapped,” came Omega Howell’s voice again. 

 

“We did,” Phil replied, looking up once more and half-shutting the laptop. “It’s a relief to have that out of the way.”

 

She sighed and nodded. Her eyes were staring somewhere just over his shoulder and looked a little unfocused.

 

“I suppose I’d better finish up my own soon,” she said. After a pause, she added, “I don’t know what I’ll do with myself while you and Dan are away next week.”

 

He felt a pang of sympathy. It was a little cruel of them to leave her all alone right before Christmas, though they had all agreed it was what would work best for all of them.

 

“Would you like to come with us?” he offered, not for the first time. “I’m sure my parents wouldn’t mind. I don’t know if there’s an extra bedroom available, but we could get you a hotel or something.”

 

“Oh, no, no, it’s fine, dear. I don’t want to intrude on your family’s Christmas,” she waved a hand. It was not surprise that she was refusing yet again. “I’ll be fine here. I’m just moping a little bit.”

 

He bit his lip and then decided to just go for it.

 

“Anything you’d like to talk about?” he ventured. She could say no, and that would be that, but maybe she would find it easier talking to him rather than Dan, at least when it came to certain topics.

 

She turned her eyes fully on him then, narrowing them to study his face. It struck him anew, as it sometimes did when he really looked at her, how much she looked like Dan. Or, he supposed, how much Dan looked like her. What if their baby ended up looking more like Dan than him? Would they grow up to look like their grandmother too?

 

“I…” she said and then stopped and frowned. “I don’t know if I should really be discussing this with you… I need to tell Dan, and Adrian. They have a right to know. It’s just—“ Her words stopped on a choked sound, and she reached for the box of tissues on the coffee table.

 

He closed the laptop firmly and set it aside. It took her a minute to blow her nose and regain her composure, but he waited.

 

“I met up with Jay last night,” she croaked after a while. 

 

_Oh_ , he thought. _So that’s it._ She’d said she was meeting a friend for dinner the night before and then come home late, but neither he nor Dan had thought much of it. He did his best to hide his surprise and maintain a calm, listening expression.

 

She had picked up the mug of tea at last, and she now took a long swig of it before speaking again.

 

“I, um, well, I wanted her to look over the draft of my divorce petition,” she said, her voice trembling a little. Her eyes darted up toward his face for a moment before dropping back down to stare into the tea. “I spoke to a lawyer a few days ago, and she advised me to discuss it with Jay before going to court to file.” Her shoulders hunched in a bit, and then she continued. “I talked to her about it last night, and…then I went to the Registry and filed it today.”

 

Silence hung in the air for a moment while Phil found his voice.

 

“That must have been difficult,” he finally said. “Next time, I’m sure Dan, or even I, would be happy to go with you.”

 

Her lips tightened into an almost-smile, but she shook her head.

 

“No. Thank you, but it’s something I really need to do on my own.” She drew in a deep breath and let it out again. Then she sat up straighter and squared her shoulders. “I’ve got to learn to take care of myself more and not rely on others so much. That’s been my greatest mistake, I think, always thinking that there would be someone else to handle the big, difficult things for me. Well,” she shrugged. “I’ve learned my lesson, I suppose.”

 

“I don’t think it’s bad to rely on other people,” Phil blurted out. “Uh, I mean,” he cleared his throat as she shot another look at him. “I mean, people are social animals, aren’t we? Like lions or…or wolves. We aren’t meant to handle everything all on our own. I guess what I mean is, Dan and I are here to support you. Or, well, I know I am, and I’m sure Dan would say the same thing if he were here.” He felt his cheeks burning. Why was he having so much trouble coming up with the right words for this?

 

“That’s very kind of you, Phil,” Omega Howell murmured, her eyes still turned away. “You two have already done so much for me. Especially…well, I’m not your mum, and there’s no reason why you should have to put up with me, so thank you for doing it anyway.”

 

“Of course,” Phil said at once, wanting to tell her that he never felt that he was having to ‘put up with’ her, wanting to reassure her somehow that even though she wasn’t his mum, she was Dan’s, and that made her part of his life, part of his family even. Unfortunately, before Phil could say any of those things, Dan materialized in the doorway, sleepy-eyed but appearing refreshed after his nap.

 

“Oh, you’re home,” he yawned, traipsing over and snatching Phil’s mug from his hand. “Is this tea?” he asked. When Phil nodded, he took a sip.

 

Phil glanced over at Omega Howell and exchanged a look with her. She gave him another almost-smile and then a nod. He returned the gesture.

 

“I’m gonna go finish up the editing I was working on,” Phil announced, rising from his chair and taking his mug back from Dan. “I’ll see you guys later.” 

 

Then he pressed a quick kiss into Dan’s lips and made his way out of the room.

 

“Have a seat, Daniel,” he heard Omega Howell saying behind him. “There’s something I wanted to discuss with you.”

 

 

**

 

Dinner that night was subdued, with both Dan and his mum hardly contributing to the conversation. Phil held his tongue, though, and left them to their thoughts. They’d been shut up in the living room, just the two of them, for nearly two hours. When they’d both emerged to find Phil finishing up the dinner preparations, they both looked rather haggard. Phil noticed both Omegas exhibited distinctively red-rimmed and puffy eyes.

 

They all went to bed early, and Phil wasn’t very surprised when, the moment they were alone, all of Dan’s pent up thoughts began spilling out. They ranged from hurt that his mum had been keeping this from him to acceptance that this was probably the best option for her to worry about how the rest of his family would take it. Would his grandparents disown their daughter? Would his Alpha Mum fight the divorce? Would his brother be okay? And then, as usually happened, his thoughts turned on himself, asking whether he should have known this was coming, whether he could have supported his mum better.

 

“Dan,” Phil finally interrupted him in a gentle tone. They were both tucked up in bed by now, with the duvet pulled across their legs.

 

“—doesn’t that make me a terrible son? What?” He turned a blinking stare on Phil, as though somewhat surprised that someone else was even there. His fingers were all twisted together in his lap, and his fringe stuck up on where side where he’d been tugging at it a moment before.

 

“Come here,” Phil said, opening his arms and beckoning Dan closer.

 

The Omega frowned at him, and for a moment Phil thought he was going to resist. Then his whole body seemed to deflate, and he scooted over and let himself fall limply into Phil’s embrace. His face pressed into Phil’s shoulder, and his arms dropped loosely around Phil’s hips. He mumbled something incoherent, but Phil just reached up and smoothed a palm over his hair.

 

“It’s your Omega mum’s decision to deal with this how she wants to,” Phil murmured. “All we can do is be here for her and offer her support. We can’t force her to accept it, though.”

 

Dan mumbled something else into Phil’s shoulder.

 

“Hmm?” Phil asked, continuing his stroking of the Omega’s hair.

 

“I said ‘I know,’” Dan mumbled a little more clearly.

 

“Good,” Phil said, not letting up his gentle caresses.

 

Dan didn’t say anything else after that, and eventually Phil realized he had fallen asleep. So, he lowered him gently to the bed, clicked off the bedside lamp, and snuggled down beside him. He dropped off almost at once.

 

 

**

 

 

Friendmas was a roaring success, involving gifts, sushi, Christmas crackers, and an escape room, which they finished with a full nine minutes to spare. Then came the two days of furious filming and editing, which left them both exhausted and a bit cranky, but at the end of it, they had all the rest of Gamingmas in the can. All that was left to do was upload and share the videos on social media.

 

They both slept for the entire flight from London to the Isle of Man. Phil’s dad met them at the airport to drive them to the Lester’s house. The moment they were in the car, they both began drifting off again. Luckily, Mr. Lester was kind enough to let them be and have their rest.

 

There was a reason why Christmas was Phil’s favorite holiday of the entire year. Nobody did Christmas better than the Lester family. When they reached his parents’ house, it was fully decked out with rows and rows of lights, multiple wreaths, and a (tasteful) set of yard figurines of Santa and his reindeer. When the door opened to show his mum welcoming them with open arms, a wave of warm, cinnamony air wafted out along with her. After they’d both been hugged and pecked on the cheek, they were ushered inside to a sparkling wonderland of twinkle lights, tinsel, evergreen boughs, and a happily crackling log on the fire.

 

“The house looks great,” Phil enthused, starting to wake up at last. “You’ve outdone yourselves this year.”

 

“Of course we have,” his mum said, with a proud smile brightening her face. “It’s not every Christmas you get to welcome a new grandchild into the world. Now, would you like some hot cocoa? I think Martyn was just getting some started.”

 

“Sounds delicious,” Dan chimed in then. “Let’s put the gifts away first.”

 

They’d traveled here with two suitcases. One held all of the clothes, toiletries, and other items they needed for the week. That left an entire suitcase of only gifts, which he now helped Dan lug into the family room so that they could unload their bounty and add it to the already massive pile under the tree.

 

“Oh my god,” Phil muttered when he saw the brightly-colored stacks of gifts. “Who are all these gifts for anyway?”

 

Dan had already knelt down beside the suitcase, so he reached over and read off a few of the tags. Then he let out a sound that was half-laugh, half-groan.

 

“I’m guessing at least a third of these are for the baby,” he murmured out of the corner of his mouth. “Think your family might have gone a bit overboard.”

 

“Oh my god,” Phil repeated. If Dan was right, how in the world were they going to get all of this stuff home?

 

As it turned out, when they opened gifts later that night, only about a fifth of them were for the baby, though in Phil’s opinion that was still way too much. They only had the one suitcase for gifts, after all. Still, they thanked Phil’s family profusely and managed not to panic about the enormous pile of stuff they had to take home until they were safely alone in their room.

 

 

**

 

The next day, some of Phil’s extended family came out to join them, and there was more gift opening and Christmas crackers and board games and way, way, way too much food. To their relief, Phil’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins had been much more restrained in their gift buying. Even so, Phil strongly suspected that they were going to need to purchase an emergency extra suitcase.

 

It was late that afternoon, and Phil was feeling rather bloated from all of the sweets he’d been stuffing himself with almost from the moment of their arrival. He was on the verge of waddling up the stairs to lie down for a bit when he caught a snatch of conversation coming from a partly-open door nearby. Normally, he wasn’t one to eavesdrop, but he had distinctly heard his own name spoken. He crept closer until he stood just to the side of the doorframe.

 

“—been really great,” Dan’s voice was saying from inside the room. This was the door into Phil’s parents’ bedroom. What was Dan doing in there? “I honestly couldn’t ask for a better…uh, well, partner.”

 

“And how is your Omega mother doing? She’s still living with you, right?” Phil’s ears pricked up even more when he heard his mum’s voice.

 

“She is,” Dan’s voice replied. “She’s all right. She’s been working, trying to, you know, start over again.”

 

“That’s really good,” Mrs. Lester said. “I’m very proud of you boys,” she went on. “You’ve taken on a lot these past few months. I can still remember,” she sighed, “when you two were just a couple of gangly kids making moony eyes at each other.” There was a pause, and Phil heard both of them chuckle. “It’s been a privilege watching the two of you grow up together.”

 

Phil backed away then, wiping at his eye surreptitiously. Best to let them have their privacy, he thought.

 

He was just about to head for the stairs again when a hand on his shoulder stopped him in his tracks.

 

“Philip!” cried a hearty voice. He turned to find his Uncle Jerry stood there grinning at him. He hadn’t been around earlier in the day, so Phil guessed he must have just arrived. “How are you, young man? Didn’t get to talk much at the wedding the other week. I hear you’re about to be a father?”

 

“Yes,” Phil confirmed, refraining from side-eyeing the door that was immediately behind him. “The baby’s due in April.”

 

“Oh ho,” Uncle Jerry said, elbowing him in the side. “And who’s the lucky bearer? I don’t seem to recall you dating anyone recently. Secret lover, was it?”

 

Phil held in an exasperated sigh. _Here we go again_ , he thought.

 

“That would be me,” came Dan’s voice from over his shoulder. They both turned to find Dan and Mrs. Lester stepping out of the door to his parents’ bedroom. Phil cringed inwardly. There was no way they could know he’d been eavesdropping, right?

 

“Oh, Daniel, was it?” Uncle Jerry exclaimed, thrusting out a hand toward the Omega. He’d met Dan before, but that had been years ago, when it was more common for Dan to come to Lester family functions. “I’m Phil’s Uncle Jerry.”

 

Dan stepped forward and took hold of the offered hand, giving it a firm shake before releasing it and taking his place beside Phil. 

 

“Yes, but you can just call me, Dan.”

 

“Dan, right,” Phil’s uncle nodded. Then his eyes dropped quite obviously to Dan and Phil’s hands. He frowned and then looked up at them again. “Don’t suppose we’ve got another wedding to celebrate in the near future, have we?”

 

There was a long pause, which was finally ended by Phil’s mum stepping forward to stand at Phil’s other side.

 

“No more weddings, please,” she laughed. “At least not for a long time. I’ve been to four in the last six months alone.”

 

“Oh, don’t remind me,” Phil’s uncle joined in her laughter. “And so expensive, too!”

 

Phil heaved a small sigh of relief as his mum began leading her brother-in-law off toward the kitchen with promises of cookies and eggnog.

 

He felt a hand squeeze his then and turned to find Dan studying his face with a crease between his dark brows. His front teeth were worrying at his lower lip.

 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

 

But Phil shook his head, hard.

 

“Don’t say that. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” he replied, squeezing Dan’s hand back. “We’re happy just the way we are. If other people can’t see that, it’s their problem, not ours.”

 

Dan’s eyes opened at that and then narrowed once more as they searched Phil’s face.

 

“We are?” he asked in a small voice. “I mean…you are?”

 

Phil nodded and then, on an impulse, drew Dan closer and wrapped his arms around him. Sure, they were in the middle of his parents’ house, and sure it was full of a variety of family members he hardly ever saw, but damn it, Dan was his and he would hold him if he wanted.

 

“I am,” he whispered and then pressed a long, slow kiss to the Omega’s lips. “Really,” he added when he’d pulled away again.

 

Dan’s expression had shifted now, all of the uncertainty in it having drained away to be replaced by something far warmer.

 

“Wanna…?” he breathed, nodding his head slightly toward the stairs.

 

Phil’s body flushed with heat and his heart leapt into action in his chest.

 

“Yeah,” he replied, glancing around. No one else was nearby at the moment. “Come on,” he whispered, and stifling laughter, the two of them tiptoed as quietly as they could upstairs to their bedroom. 

 

They didn’t make an appearance downstairs again until nearly dinnertime, at which point they had to suffer through several raised eyebrows and snickers from Phil’s various family members. He bore it with grace, though. It had been totally worth it.

 

 

**

 

It was much, much later, when the whole house was dark and silent and the two of them were cuddled up together in the far-too-tiny double bed they’d been assigned. They’d both been trying to fall asleep for a while, but he could tell by the quick, shallow sound of Dan’s breathing that he was just as awake as Phil was.

 

There was something that Phil’s brain couldn’t seem to stop turning over and over again, something he’d heard when he shouldn’t have been listening. At last, he gave up and whispered to Dan in the dark.

 

“You called me your partner.”

 

He got an immediate faint chortle in response.

 

“So you _were_ eavesdropping.”

 

“Maybe…”

 

He let the word hang in the air, waiting to see if Dan would respond to his original statement or not. Finally, he heard the Omega shift a bit, as though he were trying to get more comfortable.

 

“Do you like me calling you that?” he asked. His voice was soft, pitched low to keep it from carrying outside the walls of this room.

 

Phil’s tongue darted out to wet his lips.

 

“I think I like the word ‘mate’ better. I think it sounds more…complete.”

 

There was silence again for a while. At last, Dan answered.

 

“I think I’m okay with that,” he said. “Let’s try it out. Hello, this is Phil, my mate.”

 

Phil breathed out a slight laugh through his nose.

 

“Mum, Dad, I’d like you to meet my mate, Dan.”

 

“They’ve already met me, you spork,” Dan protested, though there was laughter in his voice too.

 

“I know, but,” Phil paused and drew in a deep breath. “I like the idea of being able to introduce you that way, to my family and to anyone else who deserves to know.”

 

He felt movement then, Dan’s hand groping around under the covers. He slid his closer, and when they met under the duvet, Dan’s big hand enveloped his in its warmth.

 

“Let’s do that, then, tomorrow.”

 

An involuntary grin cracked Phil’s face open. He curled his fingers around Dan’s, marveling for the millionth time just how perfectly they fit.

 

“Okay,” he said. “Tomorrow."


	17. Polynomial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Thank you as always to everyone who's been reading and leaving me such wonderful feedback. Next chapter on Saturday! Check my Twitter @phan_anonfics for any writing updates! <3

They arrived home again late in the afternoon on December 23rd. They’d taken an Uber from the airport, preferring that to dragging their (now three) suitcases with them onto the tube. There was also the issue of potentially being spotted by a viewer. While there wasn’t much left to hide about the state of their relationship, they preferred to keep as much private as they could, including their joint family Christmas celebrations. That’s why Phil had snapped plenty of solo pictures while up north and had plans to post them steadily throughout the course of the holidays. Dan had similar plans of posting little snippets of his own, apparently solo, Christmas activities.

 

Phil pulled out his keys once they’d wheeled their luggage up to the front door, but he didn’t end up needing them. The door was opened to reveal none other than Adrian on the other side.

 

“Hey,” he said, darting a look at each of them. “Mum’s at work.” And then he turned and walked away up the hallway, leaving the door standing open behind him.

 

They exchanged a look and then followed him inside. Adrian hadn’t been meant to arrive until tomorrow afternoon, around the same time as the rest of Dan’s family members. Dan had no idea why he had shown up early (or why neither he nor his mother had thought to text Dan and notify him of it).

 

They followed the young Alpha all the way into the living room, where he flopped down on their sofa and started up the episode of _Game of Thrones_ he had paused on their TV, as casually as if he lived there.

 

Dan and Phil shared another look as they stood behind the sofa where Adrian was lounging. Finally, Phil raised both eyebrows, very deliberately took hold of the suitcase handle Dan had been holding onto, and then tilted his head toward the sofa. Dan frowned, but Phil just turned around and began wheeling two of the suitcases back out of the room with him.

 

Dan braced himself and made his way around to the front of the sofa, mentally calling Phil all kinds of names. He shoved his brother’s feet out of the way and then settled himself on the space they left behind.

 

Adrian rolled his eyes and huffed out a sigh, but he paused the TV again and turned to give Dan an unimpressed look.

 

Dan drew in a deep breath, counting to ten, and then let it out to a second ten count.

 

“Hello, Adrian,” he said. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here. Did you just arrive?”

 

His brother shrugged, though there was a certain tension in the set of his shoulders that told Dan he didn’t feel as nonchalant about being here as he wanted Dan to think.

 

“Yeah, I got here last night. Hope you don’t mind if I stay for a bit?” he mumbled, not quite meeting Dan’s eye.

 

Dan blinked at him in amazement for a moment.

 

“You want to stay? Here?” he asked.

 

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” Adrian replied, giving another sharp shrug.

 

“For how long?”

 

“Not that long,” his brother shot back. 

 

There was a quiet stand-off as each of them tried to stare the other into submission. Then finally Dan realized how immature they were being and relented.

 

“I’ll talk to Phil,” he said, standing up again. “You can probably stay in the nursery for the time being, if you don’t mind living with a bunch of baby toys and half-built furniture.”

 

Adrian’s eyes darted away toward the frozen face of Arya Stark on the television.

 

“Okay,” he mumbled.

 

Dan waited, but no thanks were forthcoming. He sighed and then went about the laborious business of heaving himself up off the sofa. 

 

A hand appeared under his left elbow, and with a startled jump, he turned to see his brother had stood and come over to give him a hand up.

 

“Oh, thank you,” Dan said in a faint voice and then let Adrian support part of his weight as he pushed himself up from the sofa and let the momentary dizziness pass. He seemed to get vertigo every time he stood these days. Dr. Paul had told him it was something to do with the baby slowing down his circulation.

 

To his further surprise, Adrian didn’t let go when he took a step away from the sofa but instead clung on to his elbow. Dan turned to look at him again and saw that his forehead was wrinkled.

 

“Do you need, like, help up the stairs or something?” he asked.

 

Dan blinked at him for a moment and then gently disengaged his elbow from his brother’s grasp.

 

“No, it’s fine. I just get a little dizzy when I stand up. Thank you, though.”

 

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Adrian said and then proceeded to sit back down on the sofa and start the TV again.

 

Dan found Phil in their bedroom, unpacking the suitcase that held all of their clothes. The other two (the ones full of their Christmas presents) were stood patiently nearby. Dan knelt down beside them, tilted one over and began unloading its contents.

 

“So, Adrian wants to stay with us for a while,” he began, knowing Phil was waiting to hear about what had happened downstairs.

 

“Okay,” Phil said. “What did you tell him?”

 

Dan pulled out a rabbit stuffy that Cornelia had given them and smiled down at it for a moment before setting it in the huge pile of “gifts for the baby.”

 

“I said I’d need to ask you first but that he could probably stay in the baby’s room.”

 

“I’m fine with it if you are,” came Phil’s reply. Dan heard some rustling and shuffling noises, and then a moment later Phil plopped down cross-legged on the floor beside him and pulled over the last suitcase. “Though there isn’t a bed in there. We could give him the air bed, I guess.”

 

“Or he could just sleep on the sofa,” Dan shrugged. “I guess it depends on where he feels more comfortable.”

 

“Mmm,” Phil agreed.

 

They unpacked gifts in silence for a few moments, and then Phil spoke up again.

 

“Did you find out why he was here?”

 

Dan shook his head.

 

“I didn’t ask,” he said. “I mean, I left an opening, but he decided not to take it.”

 

There was another silence, and then Phil asked,

 

“How do you feel about him being here?”

 

Dan frowned down at a cute pair of socks Phil’s mum had put in his stocking. They had little pictures of pineapples and palm trees all over them, and they reminded Dan of all of those Lester Family trips to Florida.

 

“Mostly just confused, I guess,” he said, setting the socks down in the pile of Phil gifts. “He seemed pretty against the idea of living here, and then he’s suddenly here asking to move in as though it’s the most natural thing in the world? Of course I’m not going to turn him out in the streets, but it would help if he were at least a little apologetic or, I don’t know, grateful?”

 

Phil neatly folded a jumper his mum had given Dan and placed it in the Dan pile.

 

“He’s probably embarrassed that he had to come live with us when he made such a big fuss about not doing so before,” he pointed out.

 

Dan nodded. The awful thing was that Dan hadn’t needed Phil to say that. He’d guessed as much already. Some mean little part of him just hadn’t wanted to give his brother the benefit of the doubt. Because when had Adrian ever done that for him? Not for years now. Not since he’d decided that Dan was somehow the cause of everything that had ever gone wrong in his life. And, yeah, maybe it was partially Dan’s fault that his brother had such a difficult time making friends, that he couldn’t trust any new person he met because too often they were just trying to use him to get to Dan. But, for the most part, that was out of Dan’s control. He and Phil had done all they could to stop people stalking them and their families, even going so far as threatening legal action. If Dan had been able to fully stop people stalking Adrian, he would have done so for himself and Phil as well ages ago. Adrian didn’t see it that way, though. Adrian just saw himself as the innocent victim of Dan’s grab for fame, and he relished nothing more than coming up with new reasons to resent his older brother. Dan was half expecting that any day now Adrian would blame him for their parents’ split.

 

But if Adrian was going to be living here, then for the sake of all of their sanity, Dan was going to have to be the bigger person and let things like this go. Or at least pick his battles.

 

“Well, it’s not like we don’t have the space,” Dan said finally. “And with mum here, what’s another person anyway? If he stays long enough, maybe he can help out with the baby too.” He let out a snort of laughter at this last statement.

 

Beside him, though, Phil made a soft, thoughtful noise. Dan turned to see him frowning down at his now empty suitcase.

 

“I bet he’d like that,” he said, and then, without waiting for a response from Dan, flipped the suitcase closed and carried it off toward the storage closet.

 

 

**

 

 

Dinner was about as awkward as Dan had expected. Adrian kept his replies to monosyllables, and his Omega mum was on the verge of straining something with how hard she was trying to draw him into the conversation. Dan wanted to tell her to just stop, just let Adrian be, but he knew that the moment he said something, he would get his head snapped off by his brother.

 

After dinner, Phil and his mum hung out in the kitchen, baking cookies and a couple of pies to share with their guests the next day. Dan wanted to be in there helping out, but even in their new house, the kitchen didn’t have enough space for three of them to comfortably work in there at the same time. He was also still having to avoid spending too long on his feet.

 

So, instead, he helped Adrian carry his bags up to the nursery. They then set up the air bed and made it up for him to sleep on. It wouldn’t make a good long-term sleeping solution, but as far as Dan was concerned, it was up to Adrian to tell them if he thought he was going to be staying here long-term.

 

Dan was coming back into the room with a stack of extra blankets from the linen closet when he found Adrian knelt next to the small mountain of baby toys. He was holding up Cornelia’s bunny stuffy with his back to the doorway so Dan couldn’t see his face.

 

“That was a Christmas present from Cornelia,” he called as he walked over and set the blankets down at the foot of the air bed.

 

Adrian jumped a little and hastily dropped the stuffy back into the pile.

 

“That’s Phil’s sister-in-law, right?” he said, turning back around with his expression carefully blank.

 

“Eh,” Dan said, making a ‘sort of’ gesture with his hand. “She and Martyn aren’t married, if that’s what you mean.”

 

“Like you and Phil, then,” Adrian observed, turning away again and kneeling down next to one of his bags.

 

Dan frowned and considered that. He’d never thought to compare their relationship to Martyn and Cornelia’s, but yeah, maybe there were some similarities.

 

“I guess,” he said slowly as Adrian dug around in his bag. “Is that a problem for you?”

 

His brother pulled out a toothbrush case and a half-used tube of toothpaste then.

 

“That you got knocked up outside of marriage?” he asked, casting Dan a withering glance over his shoulder. “No, not really.”

 

Dan bit his tongue and did the breathing thing again, one breath in for the count of ten and another out for the same length of time.

 

“Let me show you where the towels are for when you want to take a shower,” Dan gritted out instead of the angry words that had begun bubbling up inside him.

 

“Oh, thanks, but mum showed me last night,” Adrian said, hopping to his feet.

 

“All right,” Dan replied, clenching his jaw. “Just find one of us if you need anything else.”

 

“Okay,” his brother said and then pushed past him and out into the corridor. Dan waited in the nursery a moment longer, reining in the impulse to follow his brother down to the bathroom and give him a piece of his mind. He and Phil were being kind enough to let him stay here. The least he could do was try to be polite.

 

But it wouldn’t do to dwell on it. Adrian was probably trying intentionally to get a rise out of him. He _had_ to be the more mature one.

 

He made his way (slowly) back downstairs to find his mum and Phil doling out the last of the cookie dough onto baking sheets in small, sticky dollops. He dragged a chair over from the table, parked it next to the counter, and sank into it with a sigh of weariness.

 

“Tired, love?” his mum called, still focused on spacing the dough balls exactly 5 cm apart.

 

“Yeah,” he said, reaching up a hand and wiping it over his face. “Did Adrian happen to tell you _why_ he showed up here out of the blue?”

 

She paused in her dough-dropping to look up at him with a surprised expression.

 

“He didn’t tell you?” she asked and then returned to her task. “Well, maybe he was embarrassed. Rachel’s parents kicked him out—very politely of course. Said they were happy to have him stay for a short while, but not on a permanent basis.”

 

“Ah,” Dan said.

 

“What with all their own family coming over for Christmas, they asked would he mind very much vacating the premises to make way for their guests.” She shrugged, dropping the last bit of dough onto her wax paper-covered baking sheet and then standing upright again. “Not so surprising when you consider how long he’d been there.”

 

More than two months now, Dan thought to himself. Dan tried to imagine back when he was his brother’s age, staying over with Phil’s family for that long. Would they have eventually kicked him out? Maybe not in so many words, but the Lesters were the sort to not let their chicks linger in the nest. There would have been little nudges and encouragements for him and Phil to find their own place. He knew that because it was exactly what they’d done with Phil, even offering to foot the bill for his flat in Manchester until he was making enough to fund it himself.

 

Dan wondered whether Rachel’s parents would be as keen on getting their daughter a place of her own. He’d only met her a handful of times, and her family never. She was an Omega, though, and if he knew anything about how most parents treated their Omega children, her parents were probably only too happy to keep her at home under their watchful eye. They must like Adrian, if they’d been willing to let him live with them in the first place, but he guessed at some point the welcome must have worn thin. He did his best not to think about how long it would take for his welcome to wear out here (assuming it hadn’t already).

 

“And that’s the last of them!” Phil’s voice drew him back to the kitchen, warm and fragrant from all the sweets that had been baked in it over the past couple of hours.

 

Phil was standing up from the oven, which he had just closed on the last batch of cookies. The countertops were covered with cookies on cooling racks and in towel-draped stacks on plates. On the far end of the island sat two pies under covers. His mum and Phil had been working hard.

 

“You know, I haven’t had a chance to thank you two for letting Adrian stay,” Omega Howell spoke up then, reaching up to brush a fallen tendril of hair out of her eyes with the back of a dough-sticky hand. “I know we just sort of sprang it on you.”

 

“Don’t mention it,” Phil said with a quick smile. “This is your home, so it’s his as well.”

 

Her eyes got shiny for a moment and she reached over and patted Phil’s sticky hand with her own.

 

“Thank you,” she murmured. Her eyes rose and sought out Dan’s face, so he gave her a smile and a nod as well. He was glad to let Phil speak for both of them. He’d phrased it much more nicely than Dan probably could have just now.

 

 

Upstairs, later, when it was just the two of them again, Dan told Phil as much and thanked him.

 

The Beta paused in the midst of pulling his pajama bottoms on and cast Dan a nervous glance.

 

“So, you didn’t think that was, like, overstepping a boundary or something? I mean, they’re your family, not mine, so I probably shouldn’t have spoken without asking you—“

 

“It’s fine, Phil,” Dan said. “Really, my brother’s annoying me so much right now, I’m not sure I could have managed to sound sincerely welcoming. I’m glad you said something.”

 

“Okay, good,” Phil sighed and finished getting dressed for bed.

 

When they were both settled in, Dan rolled over so that he could see Phil’s face.

 

“I’m going to introduce you to my family like you did with me this morning,” he murmured. “Tomorrow, when they all get here.”

 

Phil rolled toward him too, a tired smile barely curving his lips. He reached out a hand and rested it on Dan’s hip underneath the duvet.

 

“I’d really like that,” he whispered.

 

Dan closed his eyes and thought back to earlier that day, when they’d joined Phil’s family for brunch just before heading out to catch their plane. Most of the family from the day before had stayed over, including Phil’s grandma, several cousins, a couple of aunts and a handful of uncles. Some had had to get hotel rooms in town, though a pretty large number of them had managed to squeeze into the Lesters’ sizable house.

 

When the eating had been mostly done, Phil had hopped to his feet, cheeks slightly pink but with a determined gleam in his eye, and told everyone he had an announcement to make.

 

“If it’s that your boyfriend’s pregnant, we already know!” called one of his aunts to uproarious laughter from the rest of the family.

 

Dan had reached up a hand to grasp hold of Phil’s while they’d waited for the laughter to die down.

 

“He’s actually not my boyfriend,” Phil had finally said, looking down at Dan with a broad smile. “Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to Daniel Howell, my mate.”

 

It was an old-fashioned term, mate, like something from the Bible. Dan could vaguely remember some verse about Eve being created as Adam’s helpmate or something like that. It was more commonly applied to bonded Alpha-Omega couples, though it didn’t necessarily imply a bond. But it went deeper than simple dating, suggested something long-term, something permanent. Perhaps there wasn’t any one label that could ever fully encompass what he and Phil were to each other, but since Phil wanted one, this one seemed to fit better than most. The more he thought about it, the more he liked it.

 

There was a silence while Phil’s family took in what he was saying, but then Mrs. Lester jumped up from her seat and came round to draw them both into a big hug, and after that, the whole family broke out in “awwww”s and congratulations and “Welcome to the family”s. 

 

And just like that, Dan had realized he _was_ part of Phil’s family now. After so many years of showing up and hanging around the edges of Lester family functions, he finally felt that he truly belonged there. It had been such a wonderful moment that he wanted to give Phil the same experience.

 

“You’re part of my family now, just like I’m part of yours,” Dan explained, opening his eyes again and stretching out his own hand to cup the Beta’s soft cheek. “And I want them to know that.”

 

“Dan,” the Beta sighed, closing his own eyes and nuzzling into the Omega’s touch. His hand on Dan’s hip tightened and then drew Dan’s body toward him until his baby bump pressed into Phil’s abdomen and he couldn’t come any closer.

 

With a soft chuckle in the back of his throat, Dan lifted a leg and hooked it around the back of Phil’s thigh. Phil opened his eyes, his own small smile growing into a grin, and the fingers of his hand somehow found their way up the back of Dan’s t-shirt to brush over the bare skin of his lower back.

 

Dan snaked his own hand around to the Beta’s shoulders and pulled him close enough to kiss. After a moment, he felt Phil’s hand at the waistband of his pajama bottoms. Dan made a little hum of interest without letting up his attentions to the Beta’s lips, but that was all the encouragement Phil needed. The hand slipped inside his pajama bottoms and then his pants, found his soft cock and began teasing it to hardness.

 

Dan moaned softly into their kiss and then groped around until he found the hem of Phil’s pajama bottoms. He tugged gently at them, and Phil broke away from the kiss for a moment.

 

“Yes, please,” he breathed against Dan’s lips, so Dan plunged his hand into Phil’s pants as well, finding that he was already three-quarters of the way to hardness. Laughing a little, he bent his head to place of series of kisses along the Beta’s pale neck while he worked him up to full hardness with quick tugs and long strokes.

 

With sighs and moans, languid kisses and clever hands, they slowly built each other into a low-burning heat. When Phil’s teeth found their way to his shoulder and nipped hard at his bonding gland, Dan gave a cry and thrust forward into the Beta’s now-slick palm.

 

“Wait, wait,” he muttered, pulling back for a moment. “I don’t wanna come in my pants. Let me,” but he didn’t need to finish his sentence because Phil was already helping him off with his bottoms. When they’d gotten his over his feet, they went for Phil’s, and then they were at each other again, alternately pulling and thrusting, kissing, nipping, whispering soft profanities into one another’s ears.

 

Phil came first, with his teeth clamped down on Dan’s bonding gland and one legged tangled with Dan’s. The Omega felt the warm liquid pool in his palm as the Beta whimpered softly into the skin of his shoulder.

 

Dan wasn’t far behind, the pleasure radiating out from his bonding gland and down through his abdomen blending with the sharp ecstasy of Phil’s hand stroking and squeezing him until it had built up to its inevitable peak, dragging him over the edge with a loud gasp and a long groan into Phil’s chest.

 

When they’d both caught their breath, they licked each other’s hands clean and then both fell asleep without remembering to pull their pants back on.

 

 

**

 

Christmas with Dan’s family was, predictably, far more subdued than Christmas with the Lesters had been. It wasn’t simply the strain of everyone doing their best to ignore the ongoing implosion of Dan’s parents’ marriage. That was simply how Dan’s Omega mum’s family were: polite, reserved, restrained. No wonder he’d grown up feeling like such an oddity, with his foul mouth and loud voice.

 

Still, they managed to have a pleasant Christmas Eve. Dan’s mum worked a few hours in the morning, but the shops closed early for the holiday, so she was able to make it home before most of the family began arriving. Adrian, to Dan’s utter surprise, actually made himself useful, helping them tidy up by vacuuming the living room and mopping the kitchen. By the time Dan’s grandparents—the first guests to arrive—showed up early in the afternoon, everything was in readiness. All the public areas of the house were sparkling clean, their meal was either cooking or laid out beautifully on the dining room table with the desserts displayed on the side among tall tapers and real sprigs of holly. There were scented candles burning in the living room and Christmas carols playing softly in the background.

 

“Oh, what a lovely home you have,” his Omega grandma exclaimed as she kissed his cheek in the entryway. “And I can smell something delicious cooking!”

 

“That’d be the roast beef,” Dan replied, kissing her cheek back.

 

He led his grandparents on a tour of the whole house since this was their first time here. He saw their eyes taking note of the air bed on the floor of the nursery and the very lived-in state of their guest bedroom, but they were too polite to comment on it. They knew that their daughter and grandson were living here and why, but Christmas was no time to discuss such things.

 

More family members arrived after that, so Adrian took charge of their grandparents while Phil and his mum gave the newcomers the tour and Dan sat down on the sofa to rest his aching feet. He was only in his sixth month, and he was already quite ready for this pregnancy thing to be over with. Right now, the baby was taking a nap. They’d been very active that morning as Dan’s heart rate had risen and the house had been noisy with all of the cleaning. He wasn’t surprised that they wanted a little nap now. He kind of wished he could have one too.

 

“Why don’t you head upstairs and lie down for a bit, dear?” His grandmother’s voice startled him out of the light doze he’d dropped into. “Your body is busy at work right now, and it needs all the rest it can get.”

 

He didn’t even have the energy to argue with her. As he started to push himself up off the couch, suddenly his brother was there again, helping him up with an arm around his waist and a hand under his elbow.

 

“What a sweet boy you’ve grown up to be, Adrian,” came their grandmother’s voice again. 

 

“Thank you,” the young Alpha mumbled, blushing all the way to the tips of his ears.

 

Dan kept his own thoughts on his brother’s sweetness to himself, but he was tired enough that he didn’t argue when Adrian continued to support him all the way up the stairs and to his bedroom. When Dan had climbed in and pulled the duvet up over him, his brother stayed hovering uncertainly nearby.

 

“Can I, uh, get you anything?” he asked, his forehead wrinkled. “Like, some water or something?”

 

Dan smiled and shook his head.

 

“I’m fine. Just need to rest for a bit.”

 

“Okay,” his brother said, biting his lip. They stared at one another for a moment, and then Adrian made as if to leave.

 

“Thank you,” Dan blurted out. “Um, that was really kind of you.”

 

The Alpha was turned half away from him, but Dan could see the way his face flushed again. He jerked one shoulder up and down in a shrug.

 

“Yeah, of course,” he muttered, voice so low Dan could barely make out his words. “I mean, it’s the least I can do. You know, since you’re letting me stay here and everything.”

 

Dan was so shocked, he found himself bereft of words for the moment. Adrian must have assumed he wasn’t going to respond because he started for the door again.

 

“You’re welcome, you know,” Dan called when he finally found his voice. “To stay here, I mean. You’re my family, so, you know, my home is your home.”

 

Adrian was still turned away, but he paused on the threshold of the door for a moment and then nodded. He mumbled something in reply that might have been a thank you and then left, shutting the door with a soft click behind him. Dan decided that, whether or not that had been an actual thank you, he was going to take it. It was far more than he’d ever expected to get.

 

He fell asleep quickly with tears stinging the backs of his eyes and a small smile on his lips.

 

 

**

 

He waited until after they’d finished dinner and had opened all of the presents before heaving himself up from the sofa and trying to get everyone’s attention. For a bunch of politely reserved people, his family could certainly make a ruckus when they got started talking.

 

“Oi!” shouted his brother from the other side of the room, and all of the conversation stopped at once. “Dan has something to say.”

 

All eyes turned at once to him, and he suddenly felt so warm, he thought he might faint. Fortunately, Phil stood from the sofa then and placed an arm around his waist, steadying him.

 

“Thank you, Adrian,” Dan said, casting his brother a grateful glance that was only slightly tinged with amusement. “Uh, as you all know, Phil and I are expecting.” He reached down and patted the roundness of his belly. “Most of you probably also know that it wasn’t part of our plan, originally, to have a baby. But we’ve decided to raise our little one together, so I wanted to properly introduce Phil to you all.” He paused and let his eyes make a circuit of the room, taking in his grandparents, his aunt, his uncle, his cousins, his brother, his Omega mum. “Everyone, this is Phil Lester. He’s my mate.”

 

“Congratulations, you two,” his Aunt Helen cried at once and was immediately joined by the rest of the family. Then people started standing up and coming over to shake their hands or to hug them. Dan was almost stunned at how easy that had been. But of course his family loved and accepted Phil. Who wouldn’t?

 

Not unpredictably, his grandmother came up after a while and asked whether this meant that Phil was going to make an honest man out of him now, but they had an answer ready for that.

 

“We don’t have any immediate plans to get married,” Dan told her, holding her wrinkled, old hand in his own, hoping the caress would soften the blow. “We’d like to just concentrate on getting ready for the baby for now.”

 

She pursed her lips but then gave a little shrug.

 

“Well, perhaps that’s for the best,” was all she said before giving his hand a pat and starting in with questions about how his pregnancy had been going.

 

A short while later, most of his family left, though his grandparents were staying the night. At their age, it wasn’t easy traveling to and from London all in the same day. His Omega mum had given them her room for the night, and she would be taking the sofa. Adrian had tried to convince her to take his air bed instead, but she’d insisted that the sofa would be more comfortable.

 

He helped her make it up with sheets, blankets, and pillows and then made his way upstairs, very ready to collapse into bed with Phil.

 

However, as he passed the nursery, Adrian stepped out with an expectant look on his face.

 

“Uh,” he said, his tongue coming out and dragging across his lips. “I, um, I never said congratulations to you.”

 

“Oh,” Dan said, stopping in his tracks. “That’s fi—“

 

“I mean, when I first found out you were pregnant,” his brother rushed on, one hand still gripping the doorknob so hard his knuckles had turned white. “I was kind of… I mean, you know what happened with our parents, and how they just got married because of us and everything.”

 

Dan raised an eyebrow but refrained from commenting on that.

 

“I was, I guess, kind of angry because I thought you were doing the same thing. But, you know, after seeing you and Phil together, I don’t think it’s the same thing at all.”

 

Dan swallowed hard, feeling those tears stinging the backs of his eyes again.

 

“Thank you,” he managed to choke out. “That means a lot to me.”

 

His brother shot him a quick, sort of-smile and then ducked his head.

 

“So, yeah, congratulations. I’m actually really looking forward to being an uncle.” Then, without looking up again, he disappeared back inside the room and shut the door decisively behind him.

 

Dan stood for a long time in the hallway, staring at that door and trying to gather his thoughts before finally his feet hurt too much and he had to waddle off to bed.

 

Okay, so maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t the only one who was learning to be more mature.


	18. Fulcrum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan meets with his Alpha Mum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for waiting patiently for this chapter! As always, feel free to stop by my Twitter @phan_anonfics, where I also post writing updates. Next chapter on Wednesday! UPDATE: Posting on Thursday instead for research purposes!

Dan was sat in a small cafe in Wokingham that he had heard of but had never before had any reason to visit. Christmas Day had come and gone, and their final visits to his Alpha Mum’s family, followed by a week of hibernation and then their New Year celebrations. They’d had a small party at their house, with a few friends, one very excitable Golden Retriever, his Omega mum, and his brother. And now, somehow, it was 2017. 

 

At first, he’d planned to meet up with his Alpha Mum immediately after the new year, but then Phil had come down with a cold on New Year’s Day, and it had stuck around for a full week of Dan sleeping in his mum’s room to try to avoid catching it, and his poor Omega mum being relegated again to the sofa. He’d had to put the meeting with his Alpha Mum off until Phil finally began to feel well enough again for an extended outing.

 

They’d made the trip down here on Tuesday, just the two of them, because his Alpha Mum had claimed it would be difficult for her to make time for a trip into London and back. Considering it was barely a twenty-minute train ride, Dan had been tempted to argue with that explanation, but he’d let it slide. Some part of him really wanted to see her. He didn’t know yet whether it was the part of him that still loved his Mum or the part that wanted to scream at her for tearing their family apart like this.

 

There had almost been three of them on the trip over from London. It had taken a lot of convincing to talk Adrian out of joining them. 

 

His Mum, of course, had urged him to persuade his younger brother to come along, but the moment he’d brought it up, the young Alpha’s eyes had narrowed and his teeth had clenched.

 

“Yeah,” he’d said. “Yeah, I’ll come along. There are a few things I’d really like to get off my chest.”

 

“Adrian,” Dan had begun, but his brother had cut him off.

 

“I have a right to,” he’d snarled. “Don’t try to tell me you don’t think she deserves it. I have every right to.”

 

“Of course you do,” Dan had tried to appease him. “I just don’t think this is the best time to do it. It’s going to be complicated enough with me and Phil and the baby—“

 

“That’s another thing,” his brother had cut in again, crossing his arms over his chest and trying to stare Dan down. Unfortunately for his attempt, Dan was noticeably taller. “I don’t trust her around you and the baby.”

 

Dan had sighed, running the fingers of one hand through his hair and ruffling it all up. He didn’t even care. He’d felt so exhausted today that he hadn’t even bothered to straighten it.

 

“I don’t either,” Dan told him, “but I’ll have Phil with me, and we’ll be meeting her in a crowded, busy cafe. There won’t be much she can do.”

 

“I think you’d be safer with me there,” Adrian had countered, gaze steely, though to Dan the set of his lips looked more petulant than stern.

 

Dan had raised an eyebrow and snorted a derisive laugh.

 

“Because you’re an Alpha? Please.” He’d rolled his eyes, and despite Adrian’s squawking and backtracking and claiming he hadn’t meant it like that, Dan had stood firm. Eventually, he had convinced Adrian that he should let Dan have this meeting to deal with his own issues with their Alpha Mum. They’d come to an agreement that they’d confront her together about her sins against the family another time.

 

“Soon,” Adrian had demanded, the petulance of his expression not enough of a barrier to keep the hurt behind it from seeping through.

 

“Soon,” Dan had assured him, reaching out and squeezing his brother’s shoulder.

 

They’d shared a look then, a moment of such clear understanding, and for just a moment, Adrian had felt like an ally…an equal even. It was a weird feeling.

 

Dan was still thinking about it a day later as he sat in the cafe and waited for Phil to bring their order — herbal tea and a pistachio muffin for him, whipped cream-covered caramel macchiato and a slice of chocolate cake for Phil — over from the counter.

 

When the Beta arrived, carefully balancing the full tray, and set out their drinks and food on the tabletop, Dan turned to him with a frown.

 

“How old were you when your brother started treating you like an actual adult?” he asked as Phil squeezed into the booth beside him.

 

“Hmm,” Phil said, pulling his chocolate cake closer and then gazing up at the ceiling as he considered it. “That’s assuming that he _has_ started treating me like an actual adult.”

 

Dan snorted a laugh and reached for his muffin.

 

“No, really, I think it was probably well into my twenties,” Phil said, shooting him a grin before lifting a huge bite of cake up on his fork. “Probably not until sometime while we were dating.”

 

“Huh,” Dan said, breaking a bit off the muffin and carrying it up to his open mouth. Then he froze. A chill of apprehension passed through him before he understood what his body was reacting to: his Alpha Mother’s scent.

 

He turned to look over his shoulder, and there she was, approaching from the direction of the counter, where she must have just put in her own order. She offered him something like a smile and then came to a stop next to the booth.

 

Her curly hair was a little messier than he remembered, and her work shirt was wrinkled. He wondered if she’d ever even learned how to iron or if that was something she’d always assumed her Omega would do for her. There were purple splotches under eyes. He guessed she was having trouble sleeping. 

 

Good.

 

“Dan, Phil,” she said, favoring them both with a cautious lifting of her lips at the corners. “May I have a seat?”

 

She must not have smelled him yet, he decided. Silent, he gave a nod toward the empty opposite side of the booth. Her smile deepened for a moment and then she slid into the seat.

 

He could see the moment that she caught his scent. Her lips were still turned up in that sort-of smile, while her eyes were skittering here and there, taking in his face, his basketball-sized belly, his hand that had clutched onto Phil’s the moment she had appeared. Then she stilled, and her eyes jerked back over to him, her smile gone, replaced by an intent, focused expression.

 

Her eyes narrowed, and she frowned. He braced himself.

 

“Have you been seeing an Alpha?” she asked point-blank, eyes flicking to Phil for a moment and then back to Dan. “No, wait.” Her eyes narrowed even further and then widened. “Your baby is an Alpha.” It sounded almost like an accusation. Dan did his best not to wince.

 

“Order for Jay!” called someone from up at the counter, and they all sat in tense silence for a moment.

 

Then his Mum gave him one more quick once over before sliding out of the booth again and heading for the counter.

 

“Dan,” came Phil’s urgent voice from beside him. “Are you okay? You’re hurting me.”

 

Dan glanced down at their hands clasped on the tabletop. His was trembling with the strength with which he was squeezing Phil’s. He forced it to relax its hold, and the sigh of relief the Beta beside him let out was easily audible.

 

“I’m okay,” he murmured, half to himself, he thought. “She can’t do anything to us here.”

 

“Do you really think she would want to?” Phil asked, still in an urgent undertone.

 

“I don’t know,” Dan squeaked back. “Probably not. I hope not.”

 

She was walking back over to them by then, so they both fell silent. It was midday, her lunch break, and she’d bought a panini, a coffee, and a blueberry muffin. She set her meal down on the opposite side of the table and took her seat again, but she didn’t touch either food or drink. Instead she looked up to regard him with a wide-eyed stare. There was a new glint in her eyes, a new energy about her that he couldn’t quite read.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” she demanded in a low voice.

 

“Tell you what?”

 

She let out an exasperated sigh and reached for her sandwich.

 

“Come now, Dan,” she said, “You can’t honestly still be thinking of raising this child on your own, not now.”

 

“I’m not raising it on my own,” Dan gritted out. He felt Phil’s arm jerk and realized he’d clamped down on his hand again. He cast him an apologetic glance and let go. “Phil and I are raising our child together. Plus we’ve got mum and Adrian to help out for now.”

 

“Your brother’s much too young and immature,” she scoffed around a mouthful of panini, waving a dismissive hand.

 

“Too young and immature for what?” Dan asked, sharing a puzzled glance with Phil.

 

“To be a proper role model for your child,” his Mum explained with the put-upon air of someone having to spell out something completely obvious. “Look, Dan, I appreciate your and Phil’s commitment to raising your child, but you don’t know the first thing about raising an Alpha.”

 

“We love them, we’ve been reading every book we can get our hands on, and our antenatal classes start up soon,” Dan returned. “The rest, we’ll figure out as we go along, just like every other parent does.”

 

“I know that, Dan, but,”—she paused for a sip of coffee—“what’s going to happen to your kid growing up without a strong Alpha role model around? Who’s going to teach them what it means to be an Alpha?”

 

“Oh, and that’s something you’d know about?” Dan snorted. “I guess being a proper Alpha means cheating on your Omega with some convenient Beta just because you can get away with it?”

 

She flinched and looked away. There was a pause while Dan’s bitter words hung in the air between them.

 

“It wasn’t like that,” she said finally, her voice rough. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to hurt your Omega mum, or you. I tried to stop, really— Not that it matters now. I know I fucked up, Dan. I am well aware of just how badly I fucked up.”

 

Dan didn’t know what to say to that. Nothing he knew about his Alpha Mum had prepared him for this. He’d expected the bullshit about him and Phil not being fit to raise their own child. He’d expected defensive, blustering; he’d expected excuses and Alpha posturing. He hadn’t expected contrition.

 

“Well,” he said, sipping his tea to give himself something to do. “Well, that’s a start, I guess, but I don’t think it’ll be enough for mum…or for Adrian. Or even for me.”

 

“Tell me what to do,” she said suddenly, putting down her sandwich and staring straight into his eyes with a dead-serious glare. “Your child needs me in their life. I can help you. I…I want to help you. Please,” and by now she was properly begging him, “please tell me what I can do to make it up to you.”

 

Dan was left at a loss again. He hadn’t been prepared for this. He’d been hoping to come here, to hear what she had to say for herself, to pass a judgment, he supposed. And then? If he was completely honest, he’d been thinking of today as a good-bye of sorts. A “You fucked up too badly, and we don’t need you anymore” or a “Since you can’t accept how much you’ve wronged my Omega mum, I can’t have you in my life.” He hadn’t been prepared for begging.

 

“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t think…” He stopped, frowned, trying to gather his thoughts. She seemed eager to listen, but he didn’t even know what he had to say to her anymore. At last, he tentatively asked, “Are you planning to contest the divorce?”

 

She visibly drooped at that word, her expression and her whole body seeming to sag. She looked older, he decided, more wrinkles in her forehead and around her mouth, less sparkle in her eyes.

 

“No,” she replied, her voice almost too quiet to hear. “If it’s what Karen wants, then I’m not going to fight it.”

 

His Omega mum had hinted as much, though he almost hadn’t believed her. It just didn’t fit with the image of the loud-voiced, hot-headed Alpha he had in his memory. Then again, neither did this wilted woman who sat in front of him right now.

 

“That’s between the two of you,” Dan said slowly, not sure why he’d even thought to ask. Maybe…maybe he needed to know that she was capable of not being selfish. Maybe he needed to know that she could do what was best for his Omega mum instead of what was best for herself. He braced himself and went on, “But…mum seems happier lately. She’s got a job, you know.”

 

She nodded. Her gaze had fallen to fix on her half-drunk cup of coffee. The yellow-burning bulb of the lamp that hung over their table was perfectly reflected in the dark surface. He wondered if his Mum could see it to, from her own perspective.

 

“She told me,” his Alpha Mum muttered. Then, in a choked voice, “She really is happy?”

 

Against his will, Dan felt a lump forming in his throat.

 

“Yeah,” he said, forcing the word out around the constriction. “She’s even started talking about maybe going back to school.”

 

His Alpha Mum was silent for a long time then. Dan waited and watched her while Phil’s hand snaked over and caressed his knee. 

 

Even after everything, she was still his Mum. He still loved her, and it was hard to see her so obviously in pain. There was an urge to try to comfort her, to promise her a place in his and the baby’s life, to try to fix everything himself. But her earlier words were still clear in his mind: _You can’t honestly still be thinking of raising this child on your own._

 

There was a much stronger urge inside him to cut her out their lives completely so he could prove just how wrong she was.

 

The problem was that he didn’t know which urge to follow, if either. He looked over at Phil, hoping to glean some guidance from his expression. The Beta looked back at him with a steady gaze. His hand gave Dan’s knee a squeeze. 

 

_God, what if this is me someday._

 

The thought came unbidden to his head, and then, as usual, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. What if someday (and, really, it wasn’t so unimaginable) Dan too managed to fuck up so badly that he found himself begging his own child for another chance? Wouldn’t he want them to be merciful?

 

He shook his head. He couldn’t think that way. Whatever the future might hold, he had to make his decisions based on what was best for him and his family here and now.

 

He turned back to his Alpha Mum, who was still staring down at her mostly uneaten meal.

 

“I want you to be a part of your grandchild’s life,” he began slowly. Her eyes flitted up to his face at once, and he could see the hope kindling in them. “But that can’t happen if you don’t respect mine and Phil’s right to make our own decisions about our own child. To be perfectly honest, I don’t trust you to do that right now.” 

 

Her mouth popped open, and he knew she was on the verge of arguing, so he raised his voice and plowed forward.

 

“I’ll send you updates about the baby and keep in contact, but I can’t promise you anything more than that. Not yet.”

 

She still looked like she wanted to argue, but she didn’t. That in and of itself, Dan thought, was probably progress.

 

“Okay,” she finally said, then glanced over at her watch. “I have to go soon.” She grimaced down at the meal and then slid out of the booth again. “I’m going to get a carry-out container. Do either of you want anything?”

 

They both shook their heads, and she left again.

 

Dan leaned his head back against the cushiony seat and breathed out a huge sigh.

 

“Still feeling okay?” Phil asked, his hand disappearing from Dan’s knee only to reappear at the back of his neck, massaging it with a few gentle squeezes before sliding down to rest on his shoulder. Dan felt some of the rigidness of his posture ease.

 

“Yeah,” he breathed. “Yeah, I’m okay. This so much harder than I was expecting.”

 

Phil made a little hum of sympathy and rubbed his palm over his shoulder a couple of times. Then Alpha Howell appeared at the table again and, without sitting down, began boxing up her food.

 

They watched her in silence until she folded over the little cardboard flap and took a step away from the booth, box clutched under one arm. Her eyes sought out Dan’s face. He could almost see the millions of words she wanted to say swimming around inside them.

 

“Thank you for agreeing to see me,” she said.

 

“Of course,” Dan replied. “I’ll be touch.”

 

She nodded and then tossed a nod of acknowledgement toward Phil.

 

He returned it.

 

“Talk to you later,” she said and then turned and made her way out of the crowded cafe.

 

 

**

 

The train ride home was one of the few times in recent years that Dan had seriously wished they kept a car here in London. It would have been so nice just to be alone with Phil for a while, the two of them safe inside the private space of their own vehicle, cut off for a time from the outside world. Then he could talk freely, cry or shout or simply puzzle out everything he was feeling about the interaction he’d just had with his Alpha Mum. Or he could merely bask in the solid, calming presence of Phil, of how he could, without saying a single word, convince Dan that everything was going to work out okay eventually. How Phil, just by existing in it, made Dan’s world seem steadier.

 

As it was, they sat silently side-by-side on the train, not even daring to touch in case they were seen by someone who knew who they were. Dan was still reassured by the distinctive profile of Phil’s face silhouetted against the moving landscape outside. He still felt more secure in the knowledge that Phil was here and that whatever happened next, Phil would still be here.

 

It would have been better if they could have been alone, though. On the busy train, full of people heading into the city for whatever reason, it was impossible to really relax.

 

And then when they were home again, Adrian was there at once, full of questions, still seething a bit. His uni classes wouldn’t start back up for weeks yet, which meant he was stuck here moping around the house more often than not. Dan did his best to answer his brother’s questions. Yes, she’d seemed sorry, he said. No, he hadn’t told her what a bastard she’d been. Yes, they’d talked about her being part of the baby’s life. No, he hadn’t given her permission to visit here.

 

Finally, Dan cut his brother off mid-question.

 

“I don’t think I can go with you to meet up with her again,” he said as he pushed past Adrian to sink exhaustedly down on the sofa. “That was just too draining.”

 

“What did she do?” Adrian demanded, following him into the living room. Phil came in right behind him.

 

“Nothing, Adrian,” Dan sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back against the sofa. “It was just a really difficult conversation.”

 

“I think Dan needs a rest now,” came Phil’s voice. “Maybe you two can discuss this more later.”

 

“Oh,” his brother’s voice said after a moment. “Yeah, okay. Can I, uh, get you anything, Dan? Uh, some water?”

 

Dan shook his head.

 

“No, thank you,” he mumbled. “Think I’m just gonna go upstairs and take a nap.”

 

He made as if to stand, and both of the other two sprang to help him up. He had to laugh at the uncertain look they shared as they both stepped back from an almost-collision, and the laughter broke some of the tension that had been coiling up inside him all the way home.

 

“No need to fight over me,” he said, patting his belly. “Plenty of me to go around.”

 

Phil laughed, and Adrian rolled his eyes, and then they each took an elbow and helped steady him as he pushed himself to his feet. Then they both let go, and Dan lumbered off toward the stairs, followed closely by Phil. Apparently, his movements had woken up the baby, who started kicking enthusiastically at his right side.

 

“Ow,” he muttered as a particularly well-aimed kicked struck some tender internal part of him.

 

“You okay?” came Phil’s voice from behind him at once.

 

“Fine, fine,” Dan groaned, rubbing at his side. “The baby’s just kicking me.”

 

“Oh, should I tell them off for you?” Phil asked as they reached the top of the stairs. “Ground them maybe? Take away their phone?”

 

That managed to pull a grudging laugh from Dan. 

 

“Tell them they can’t go out to the clubs with their friends this Friday after all,” he suggested.

 

“Our child?” Phil frowned as he ushered him into the bedroom. “Asking to go out clubbing?”

 

Dan actually laughed out loud at that.

 

“You’re right,” he said, shaking his head as he eased himself down onto the bed with an ‘oof.’ “What was I thinking? We’ll have to ground them from using the PS4 instead.”

 

“That sounds more like it.”

 

It took a lot of work for him to get settled into a comfortable position. His stomach was huge now, and the first few itchy stretch marks had started to appear on his belly and hips. He’d rubbed them religiously with shea butter and vitamin E oil, but he had the distinct impression that they weren’t going away. His feet still hurt, sometimes just eating made him feel sick, the baby’s kicks grew more painful by the day, and on top of everything else keeping him awake at night, he now sometimes woke up with awful leg cramps. 

 

Despite it all, though, at moments like this he got so excited thinking about what it would be like when the baby was actually here. What would their child really be like? Would they really love video games as much as he and Phil did, or by some fluke would they end up the club-going partying type? 

 

Phil had started to turn to go, now that he could see Dan was settled, but Dan snaked out a hand to hold him in place.

 

“Nap with me?” he asked, looking up at Phil with the best puppy dog eyes he could manage at his current level of weariness.

 

Phil smiled down at him, eyes soft as they took in the sight of Dan curled up on the bed.

 

“Sure,” he murmured and then walked over to pull the door shut. When he came back, he climbed up onto the bed and settled himself behind Dan, playing big spoon for him. With his belly as huge as it was, there was no way Dan could comfortably sleep on his stomach like he often used to, and the midwife he’d begun checking in with more regularly now had instructed him not to lie on his back as it could dangerously restrict blood flow. He didn’t mind sleeping on his side usually, but there were some moments when he could feel positively trapped by his huge, pregnant belly.

 

Phil’s hand now came around to encircle said belly, and Dan felt the Beta’s lips against the back of his neck. He closed his eyes and relaxed into the softness of the bed and the warmth of Phil’s body. This wasn’t going to be one of those moments, he thought.

 

“Are they still kicking?” Phil whispered, his lips close enough to tickle the curls at the nape of Dan’s neck.

 

“Nah, they’ve settled in again,” Dan breathed out.

 

“Guess I’ll let them off the hook this time then,” Phil said, nuzzling his nose gently against the crook of Dan’s neck.

 

“Never expected you to be the one taking the role of disciplinarian,” Dan slurred, lulled by the slow, soothing movement of Phil’s skin against his.

 

“We can’t both be spoiling them all the time,” Phil replied, pressing another kiss into Dan’s shoulder. Down below, his hand had begun rubbing a slow, rhythmic motion against Dan’s belly.

 

“We can certainly try,” Dan said, already drifting.

 

“Maybe we won’t even need to discipline them,” Phil murmured back, voice sounding muffled and distant. “They’ll be such a good kid they won’t ever need to be punished.”

 

Dan breathed out a soft laugh.

 

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “Maybe.”

 

 

**

 

 

Dan woke up feeling stiff but much clearer of mind, and the first thing he thought upon waking was that New Year’s was a good time for a new beginning.

 

Maybe cheating on his Omega mum had been a really shitty thing for his Alpha Mum to do, and maybe he still didn’t fully trust her motives, but she seemed to be sincere in her desire to change. There was no way she could ever grow and become a better person if he didn’t allow her the chance to.

 

Behind him, Phil had rolled over to his own side of the bed and was snoring softly. Dan reached out a hand and patted around the top of the bedside table until he found his mobile. He pulled it over and opened the text conversation with his Alpha Mum.

 

_See you soon!_ was the last message his Mum had sent before their meeting today. He took a deep breath and then typed out a response.

 

 

_when i visited nana and papa at christmas, they said they wanted to host a party for us after the baby is born. i’d like you to come, if you want to._

 

 

He supposed that his grandparents had probably already invited their daughter to the party, though they had tactfully scheduled Christmas with her on a different day than Dan, Phil, and Adrian had planned their visit. Still, he thought it would mean something more to his Alpha Mum if he invited her as well.

 

 

She replied several hours later, while he was in the midst of his first live show of the new year. His mobile buzzed on the desk beside his keyboard, drawing his eye away from the YouTube chat zipping by on the screen. When he saw the name “A Mum” on the screen, he couldn’t help smiling briefly to himself.

 

“Sorry,” he said, glancing back up to the camera. “Just got a text. Now, what was I saying? Psh, as if I remember. Golden Retriever syndrome, I swear. It’s a real thing. Look it up. Uh,” he glanced at his list of conversation topics open in the Notes app on his desktop. “Right, I’m making a Top Dan Memes of 2016. And, yes, memes related to various fruits and vegetables and antichrists that I might currently be gestating inside my womb are certainly welcome.”

 

He rambled on for another full hour, but it was hard to keep his mind on topics like Ed Sheeran and the final episode of Sherlock when all he could think about was what his Mum had replied.

 

When he’d finally signed off and made sure that the stream had definitely 100% ended, he immediately grabbed up his phone and opened the new text.

 

 

_Thank you, Dan. I’d really like that. I bought some gifts for the baby that I can’t wait to give you. Keep in touch. I love you._

 

 

He stared at the “I love you” at the end for a long time, trying to decide how he felt about it. His Alpha Mum was from the old-school style of parenting that said that Alpha parents should show their love by supporting their families with a good-paying job rather than saying out loud. Dan could remember specific times his Alpha Mum had told him that she loved him because it had happened so rarely.

 

What had prompted her to say it to him now?

 

There was a knock at the office door, and when he called for them to come in, Adrian’s voice called from the other side of the door.

 

“You finished streaming?”

 

“Yeah,” Dan said, and then repeated, “Come in.”

 

A moment later, the door opened, and Adrian poked his head inside, glaring at the computer monitor as though he didn’t quite trust it not to be broadcasting him to all of Dan’s rabid fans. Then he turned his gaze to Dan.

 

“Can we talk now?” he asked, stepping inside at last and then closing the door behind him and leaning against it. He crossed his arms over his chest, and Dan guessed that he was trying to look casual. Instead, he was mostly managing to look pouty.

 

“Sure,” Dan said, spinning his desk chair around so that he could look at his brother without straining his neck. “What did you want to talk about?”

 

“About Mum,” he said with a shrug of one bony shoulder. “What did she say?”

 

Dan matched his shrug.

 

“When she found out the baby was an Alpha, she tried to tell me some bullshit about how none of us was qualified to raise it,” he said, scowling a bit at the memory.

 

“Ha, like she could do any better,” his brother scoffed, matching his scowl.

 

“That’s what I said,” Dan agreed. “Like, where does she get off saying that she’s going to be some great role model for my kid?”

 

“That’s a load of bollocks,” Adrian said, uncrossing his arms and straightening his shoulders. “Look, Dan, don’t listen to that kind of shit from her, okay? Or from anyone. Being an Alpha, it’s not some special club or something that you have to be initiated into. I spent too many years of my life letting her brainwash me into thinking it was, though, and it just made me hate myself for never being able to live up to her dreams of some big, strapping, athletic Alpha Son.”

 

Dan’s mouth almost fell open. That was the most self-aware statement he thought he’d ever heard his little brother make.

 

“You’re fine just the way you are, you know,” Dan pulled himself together enough to say after a moment. “I mean, when you’re not treating me like an utter asshole, I actually like who you’ve grown up to be.”

 

He was pretty sure he saw a faint red tingeing his brother’s cheeks, before he hunched his shoulders and dropped his head.

 

“Thanks,” he mumbled. “I, uh, you know, you’ve turned out to be okay too.”

 

“Thank you,” Dan said because as stumbling as the admission was, he knew that it was genuine.

 

“So,” Adrian said and cleared his throat a couple of times. “What are you going to do?”

 

Dan thought of the text he’d read just moments before Adrian had walked in. He thought of his Alpha Mum stopping into a toy shop or somewhere and walking up and down the aisles, looking for something her grandchild might like. He thought of her picking a toy out, carrying it up to the register, taking it home and setting it aside, ready and waiting. 

 

Something inside him felt painful and sad and maybe just a little bit hopeful.

 

“I invited her to the party Nana and Papa said they were going to have,” he said finally. “I guess we’ll just have to see how it goes from there.”

 

His brother regarded him for a moment and then offered him a firm nod, almost like he was giving his approval. And the weird thing was, Dan was pretty sure that he was glad to have it.

 

“Come on,” Adrian said then, “We ordered pizza from this vegan place that delivers coz nobody wanted to cook.”

 

“Sounds delicious,” Dan said, heaving himself up out of his chair. His brother took a step toward him, ready to help him up, but Dan waved him away. “I’m gonna be so constipated later, though.”

 

“That’s disgusting,” Adrian said, wrinkling up his nose.

 

Dan laughed and gently shoved his brother out the door and into the hallway.

 

“That’s just the reality of pregnancy,” he said, patting him on the shoulder. The horrified look on the Alpha’s face was enough to send him off into another round of laughter.


	19. Tipping Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> January, February,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience. I think I'm going to need to bring it down to posting one chapter a week for the next while as there is a lot of research required for these next few chapters. Thank you so very much to everyone who has been encouraging me both here and on Twitter. You're all the reason this fic has made it this far. Next chapter on Wednesday! <3
> 
> Side note: My poor Twitter got shadowbanned, but do still check it for any writing updates @phan_anonfics.

The rest of January was a blur of filming and editing videos. They were both very conscious of how little time was left until their due date, and Dr. Paul and their lead midwife, Patricia, had both told them during recent check-ups that for a first pregnancy, there was a stronger chance the baby could come early. So, any free moment in their schedule was spent adding to their growing cache of videos to keep their channels active once their time began to be consumed with caring for a newborn baby.

 

January was a good time to take a break from the demanding posting schedule they’d set for themselves in December, as well. All in all, they posted a scant six videos during the entire month, three on the gaming channel, two on Phil’s channel, and one on Dan’s.

 

One of the videos Phil posted involved him trying to predict the future, and he got an eerily large number of references to pregnancy and birth. A couple weeks later, he and Dan went north again for his birthday, and when he told his mum about the video, she nodded sagely and reminded him that his grandmother had had The Gift.

 

“You must have inherited it,” she said.

 

“Wonder if little bit will inherit it too,” Phil wondered, glancing over toward Dan’s huge belly. The Omega was sprawled in an armchair near the fireplace at his parents’ house, chatting with Martyn. He and Cornelia had come up for Phil’s birthday celebrations as well.

 

“Mum always said it skipped a generation,” Phil’s mother told him, shaking her head. “You’ll have to wait until you have grandchildren yourself.”

 

And that was something Phil hadn’t even considered yet in all of this. Someday their baby, who wasn’t even born yet, might grow up and have babies of their own. Someday, if he was lucky to live that long, Phil might be a _granddad_.

 

When it came time for cake a short while later, his mum had to shake him to rouse him from a happy daydream about him and Dan, both wrinkly and silver-haired (but in a very handsome, distinguished way), bouncing little grandbabies on their knees.

 

He brought it up to Dan later when they were getting ready for bed, and the Omega cast him an incredulous look.

 

“I can’t even try to think that far into the future right now,” he said, shaking his head and then sliding his pajama shirt on over his head. “For now, I’d just be happy to have this baby out,” he added once he’d yanked the shirt down to cover his belly, pointing toward where his stomach was straining against the cotton.

 

“Soon,” Phil assured him, coming over and placing his hands on Dan’s shoulders. The Omega let out a hum of appreciation, so Phil began to gently knead at the tense muscles. Dan’s body seemed to melt under his touch, and he let out another long, breathy sigh. He was now in his 31st week of pregnancy, well into the third trimester, and it seemed that nearly everything made him uncomfortable. He couldn’t stand or sit for too long without complaining about pain somewhere, but lying down was difficult as well, especially if the baby decided to hang out on the wrong side of his abdomen.

 

Phil was doing everything he could to help out, offering regular massages, bringing him drinks, food, extra pillows, or his laptop when he didn’t feel like going through the laborious process of standing up. This past week had also brought a fun new side-effect of pregnancy: Dan’s body had started producing milk (or actually colostrum, as Patricia had explained to them). Phil found it fascinating, but Dan was fed up with having to wear a bra for the first time in his life. It held absorbent breast pads in place over his nipples so that he wouldn’t end up leaking through his shirts. 

 

Also, apparently this whole milk-producing process was making his breasts extremely tender. In fact, Phil was almost afraid to touch any part of Dan’s body, after hearing the long list of areas that had become swollen, tender, or downright painful. But Dan more than ever kept asking to be touched, held, caressed, and soothed. His bonding gland seemed to be the safest bet at moments like this, a surefire way to ease whatever pain and tension had built up in his body throughout the day.

 

“Mmm,” Dan hummed more loudly as Phil began to work his hands further down the Omega’s back. “That feels really good.”

 

“I’m glad,” Phil murmured, bending forward to drop a kiss on the back of Dan’s neck. The Omega let out another appreciative sound.

 

“Do you know,” he said after a moment in a low, breathy voice, “it’s been more than a month since we last had sex?”

 

Phil paused with hands wrapped around the Omega’s sides, thumbs pressed hard either side of his spine. He was, in fact, very aware of how long it had been since they’d had full-on sex. He’d even logged onto a few forums for non-bearing parents-to-be, first to get an idea of whether this was normal at this stage in a pregnancy (apparently it was reasonably common) and then to commiserate with other sexually-frustrated parents. The consensus seemed to be that a lack of sex during the third trimester was a regrettable but understandable side effect of the toll pregnancy took on the bearing parent’s body.

 

It wasn’t like they didn’t do anything, of course. There were plenty of hand and blowjobs, even fingering and some playing with toys. Phil knew he didn’t really have anything to complain about, but he did miss the extra feeling of closeness that came with having Dan inside him or vice versa.

 

He’d never expected Dan to be the one to bring up the topic, though. He’d assumed that he was too preoccupied with all of the unusual and uncomfortable things his body was doing to worry much about their sex life.

 

“Yeah,” Phil replied after a pause, resuming his gentle kneading of the Omega’s lower back. “Do you miss it?”

 

Dan breathed out a deep sigh through his nose.

 

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Sometimes. Most of the time I’m too miserable to feel up to it, but every now and then…”

 

Phil’s hands had reached Dan’s hips by then, so he let them settle with a firm grip around the plump bits that stuck out either side of the Omega’s body. Then he drew closer, pressing his own body slightly against Dan’s backside.

 

“Every now and then…?” he asked.

 

He heard Dan’s sharp intake of breath as he felt Phil half-hard against him. All it had taken was that slight suggestion of imminent sex for his body to take an interest.

 

“Are you…?”

 

“Dying to fuck you?” Phil growled into his ear, and he felt the Omega’s body shiver against him.

 

“Really?” came Dan’s very small voice.

 

Phil slid his hands around to Dan’s front, letting one slide down to brush lightly over the front of the Omega’s pajama bottoms while the other rested atop his round belly.

 

“Yeah,” he murmured. “I always want you.”

 

Dan’s breaths were coming harder now, his chest visibly heaving up and down. He leaned his head back against Phil’s shoulder and rested his cheek against the Beta’s.

 

“I was starting to worry that maybe, uh, the way my body is right now… You know, with stretch marks and cankles and this giant thing I’m lugging around out in front—“

 

“What?” Phil stopped the hand that had been reaching up to slip inside Dan’s pants. “Wait, you thought I didn’t find you attractive anymore?”

 

There was a short pause, and then Dan’s hand came up and took hold of Phil’s, gently urging it lower. Phil immediately obliged, working his fingers slowly under the waistband of the Omega’s pants, over the slope of his lower abdomen, down into the nest of curls between his thighs. He used to always shave there—or at least, Phil didn’t remember ever before seeing his pubic hair fully grown out—but he’d given that up when he’d stopped being able to see over his pregnant belly to the area he was meant to be shaving. 

 

“Well, we kind of stopped having sex,” Dan said as Phil’s fingertips grazed his soft cock. “And when we did do something, it was always quick and with most of our clothes on.”

 

“That was just because you always seemed so tired and uncomfortable, I didn’t think you would want to go through all of that,” Phil said, running his fingers up and down the smooth, warm skin. He always loved this part, feeling Dan go from soft to hard under his touch, knowing that he was the one turning him on and making him feel good. “I thought you’d be glad to get off quickly so you could get to sleep.”

 

He heard Dan breathe out a laugh that might have also been a pant.

 

“I think you underestimate my horniness,” he whispered. He was responding quickly to the steady strokes of Phil’s fingers, the soft flesh growing ever firmer in Phil’s grasp.

 

“I’ll try not to do that again,” Phil said, nipping at the Omega’s shoulder where the loose neck of his night shirt had slid down to expose a strip of pale skin. The Beta’s own cock was fully hard now and straining against the heat of the Omega’s buttocks. He pushed in closer, making sure Dan could feel him, feel how hard he was getting for him.

 

“‘M already so wet,” Dan mumbled then, grinding his arse back against Phil’s crotch and making the Beta gasp at the dart of pleasure that shot up through his abdomen.

 

“Fuck,” he breathed. “Can I—?” and he pulled his hand out of Dan’s pants to reach for the hem of his shirt.

 

“Yeah,” Dan said, so they both fumbled their way out of their clothes and then, shivering in the cool air of the room, slid under the duvet together. Dan pulled him near at once, mouth closing over Phil’s, tongue thrusting in between his lips, while the Omega’s hand found its way down in between them, slid along Phil’s abdomen and found his ready cock.

 

“How do you wanna…?” Phil panted when they broke apart from the kiss. As horny as Dan obviously was, his baby bump still presented something of a logistics problem.

 

“I’m gonna ride you,” Dan purred into his ear, sending another electric tingle of excitement down through the Beta’s body. He could picture it already, how utterly sexy Dan would look crouched over him, pleasuring himself on Phil’s stiff cock.

 

“Yes,” Phil groaned, running his own hand down the Omega’s back, squeezing at one ample arse cheek before slipping his fingers in between the buttocks. He groaned again when discovered that the Omega’s hole really was already dripping wet with slick. He slipped a finger inside easily, and then a second, and Dan whimpered and raised a leg to hook it around Phil’s thigh, opening up the space between his arse cheeks more fully to Phil’s probing fingers.

 

Down between Phil’s own legs, Dan’s fingers had already begun to coax his moisture out, coating the head of Phil’s cock and Dan’s hand both with slippery precum.

 

“Here,” the Omega said, letting go of him all of a sudden, and raising his hand to nudge at Phil’s shoulder. The Beta let himself be pushed over onto his back, and then the Omega was throwing his leg over, straddling him and gazing down into his face with bright eyes, flushed cheeks, and parted lips. 

 

Phil let his eyes travel down, take in the extra plumpness Dan’s body had gained over these past few weeks. He saw the swollen breasts, nipples thick and brown and shiny with moisture, and below that, the huge roundness of his belly, where the skin stretched tight and his belly button popped out. There was now a clearly visible dark line running down from his navel, with a matching trail of hair. Either side of this line, there had appeared purplish, jagged marks that Dan had told him itched like crazy sometimes. He often had the Beta rub cream into them for him, and he said that helped with the itching. Seeing them now, Phil thought about what the Omega had said a moment before, that he’d been worried Phil didn’t want him anymore because of those marks.

 

The Beta wriggled his body further down the bed and then sat up a bit, just below the Omega’s swollen abdomen, where he would have easy access.

 

“What are you—?” Dan began but stopped when Phil leaned forward and pressed a kiss to one of the angry, purple marks. The Beta looked up to see the Omega gazing down at him with wide eyes, so he bent again and pressed a kiss to another of the marks and then another. He didn’t stop until he’d given each one the attention it deserved, and then he leaned back so he could meet Dan’s eyes again. They were full of some emotion he couldn’t quite name.

 

“You’re beautiful,” he told him simply. “Your body is beautiful like this. Maybe I didn’t make it clear enough before, but I think it’s amazing that you’re doing this. You’re growing an entire new person inside of you. That’s incredible, Dan, and you look gorgeous doing it.”

 

The Omega was still staring down at him, looking somewhat stunned now.

 

“That’s… Really? You really mean that?”

 

“Every word,” Phil said and bent to press another kiss to the taut skin of the Omega’s belly, just below his protruding belly button. Then he looked up at him and raised his eyebrows a few times suggestively. “Now what was this I heard about you riding me?”

 

“So impatient,” Dan scolded, but he placed both palms against Phil’s shoulders and pushed back again, sliding down the bed a bit to reposition himself over the Beta’s hips. “Luckily, you’ve got a very horny pregnant Omega on top of you who’s been wanting to have that big, juicy dick of yours inside him for ages now.”

 

Phil’s cock gave a throb of longing in response, so deep that he felt it inside his abdomen. He heard himself letting out a low moan in the back of his throat. His hands seemed to reach up on their own to wrap around the Omega’s hips, his thumbs stroking at the sensitive skin just below his hipbones. He could just make out the flushed-pink head of the Omega’s cock peeping out from beneath the curve of his belly. He bent his head back, met Dan’s eyes, and the Omega smiled as his hand took hold of Phil’s aching cock and guided the head to his waiting hole. 

 

Phil couldn’t help closing his eyes against the intensity of the pleasure as his cock slid into that wet, warm space. He could hear the Omega letting out a soft moan as he sank down. The Beta forced his eyes open again, focusing on the Omega’s face, scrunched up with the mouth hanging open in a second, silent moan as he wriggled that last inch down the hard cock and let his body come to rest on top of Phil’s.

 

The Beta’s hips thrust up a few times of their own accord, his body responding to the deep urge to fuck, to chase the pleasure that was coursing through him. God, it had been far, far too long. His fingers squeezed more tightly around the Omega’s hips, and he forced himself to hold still.

 

“Feels so good,” Dan was mumbling, shifting his hips back and forward, side to side, letting Phil rub against every inch of his inner walls. He opened his own eyes then, mouth still open, and catching the Beta’s eyes, he raised a hand to brush the fingers lightly over one sensitive, puckered nipple. His whole body jerked at the touch, sending another sharp wave of sensation spilling out from Phil’s cock and into his abdomen.

 

“Fuck me,” Phil begged, self-control in tatters. It was taking everything in him not to lift Dan’s body up to give himself room to thrust hard and deep inside that delicious hole.

 

“Impatient,” Dan muttered, lips curling into a smile, but he used his other hand to brace himself beside Phil’s shoulder, and then he was lifting his hips himself, letting Phil slide almost all the way out before he pushed back down, sheathing Phil inside his slick opening again.

 

Phil actually cried out, loud and high-pitched, and then grimaced as he wondered how many members of his family were still awake at this hour. But then Dan was moving his hips again, grinding down against Phil’s body to make his cock move around inside of the Omega’s slippery passage, and Phil no longer had the brain capacity to worry about being overheard.

 

Dan fucked himself slowly, every movement deliberate, measured, but so, so good. He bore down, squeezing his strong muscles tight around Phil’s cock and making him see stars, before raising himself up and sliding slowly down again, squeezing around him as he went.

 

All Phil could do was hold on, hands clutched around the Omega’s hips, occasionally having the presence of mind to run them up his sides or around to grip his buttocks, but mostly just using Dan’s body to steady himself in the rolling sea of sensations it was causing.

 

The Omega came first, his thrusting growing more frantic, less controlled, his panting breaths mingled with whines and whimpers, one hand clutching at his tender breasts, and then he looked down into Phil’s eyes, expression almost lost as down between them, his hole clenched rhythmically around the Beta’s cock and warm liquid spattered onto Phil’s abdomen.

 

Even when his orgasm had passed and his eyes had cleared somewhat, he didn’t let up the sliding, grinding pressure of his hips, fucking Phil just as hard, with more precision now that he wasn’t chasing his own high, and then Phil’s head was falling back, and his eyes were squeezing shut, and his cock was pulsing inside of Dan’s hot hole, cum spilling out and sliding down, mixing with the slick to make them both into a wet, sexy mess. He allowed himself a few, quick thrusts, letting his body finally obey that primal urge, and then he was spent. His hands fell down on the bed beside him, and he let out a long, shaky breath.

 

When he opened his eyes, he found Dan gazing down at him with a warm, sleepy expression. He’d sat back somewhat, letting his weight rest on his knees, with Phil still nestled firmly inside him. A smile curled his lips, and without warning, he squeezed himself around Phil again, making the Beta’s body jerk with the shock of exquisite sensation.

 

“Holy fuck,” he half-shouted, having forgotten completely about his family by now.

 

“Shh,” Dan laughed, reaching one hand down to rest it lightly over Phil’s mouth. “It’s nearly midnight. You’ll wake your parents.”

 

“Oh, shit,” Phil whispered against his palm, eyes darting from side to side. They both stayed as still and quiet as they could, considering how hard they were both breathing, and listened for any sounds of awake people in the rest of the house. When all they heard was silence (and their own harsh breaths), they relaxed again and Dan removed his hand.

 

“Well, that was incredible,” Phil muttered, letting his whole body go limp. “Remind me again why we wasted a whole month not doing that?”

 

“No idea,” Dan said, lifting himself up so that Phil’s softening dick could slip out of him at last. Several globs of cum slid out as well, spilling down Dan’s thighs and onto Phil’s abdomen. “But I’m a mess, and so are you, and there’s no way I’m leaving this room for a shower right now.”

 

Phil was inclined to agree. Fortunately, there was a box of tissues on the nightstand, so they were able to clean up reasonably well before struggling back into their clothes (January in the Isle of Man was far too cold to be sleeping naked). The showers could wait until morning.

 

 

**

 

February was a bit calmer work-wise. Thanks to all the hours of footage they’d recorded in January, much of the work that needed doing in early February was editing and posting.

 

Pregnancy-wise, things were definitely not calmer. They were attending their weekly antenatal classes to learn all about birth plans and labor and breathing exercises and the like. Dan was meeting with Patricia on a weekly basis as well, checking in about how often the baby was moving, how he himself was feeling, and having his vitals monitored. 

 

They’d gone back and forth several times about having the baby at home versus having it at a birth center. Dan had been pretty adamant that he did not want to give birth in hospital, if at all possible. For someone who’d never planned to be pregnant, he had certainly developed strong opinions on how birth should occur.

 

“Look, for the vast majority of human history, humans gave birth in the comfort of their own homes,” Dan would say. “Yes, modern medicine has helped to lower rates of infant and bearer mortality, but birth is not a medical procedure. There’s no reason it should have to happen in a hospital, as long as the baby and bearer are both healthy and are being monitored by a well-trained midwife.”

 

“But, like, what if something goes wrong,” Phil would argue back. He knew it was a weak argument based on undefined anxieties…and possibly some ill-advised late-night research into different ways that pregnancy and birth could turn into disaster. It wasn’t that he really thought something bad was going to happen. He just liked to feel prepared for every eventuality. “Wouldn’t you want to have doctors at hand just in case?”

 

“Every check-up I’ve had with both Patricia and Dr. Paul has indicated that everything is perfectly normal,” Dan would point out. “In the very unlikely event that something did go wrong during the birth, Patricia and Darren will be here to help out, and the nearest hospital is barely five minutes away.”

 

In the end, Phil knew it was more Dan’s decision than his. Dan was the one who would be doing the hard work of actually giving birth, so it was ultimately down to what made him the most comfortable. It was mid-February when, after talking it over with Patricia, her co-midwife, Darren, the more-experienced expectant bearers at their antenatal classes and his own Omega mum, Dan finally decided that he wanted to give birth at home. It took a little more persuading on Dan’s part to convince Phil that this wasn’t a terrible mistake, but eventually he caved.

 

“All the other Omegas I’ve spoken to have told me it’s so much easier to give birth at home,” Dan told him after he’d finally given in. His tone was soothing, consoling even, as though he’d known it had taken something for Phil to get past his fears of the worst happening in order to agree to a home birth. They were sat in the lounge, taking a break from some scripting they’d been working on that morning, with Dan half-turned to face Phil where he was curled up beside him on the sofa. He reached out and took the Beta’s hand now. 

 

“All our books say something similar,” he continued, stroking Phil’s fingers. “It will be easier for my body to stay calm and for me to feel safe if I am in familiar surroundings full of familiar scents.” He paused to let out a chuckle. “Back in the day, I guess I would have been building some kind of nest for myself right about now. That instinct hasn’t disappeared from my genetic makeup just because modern society has us living in houses instead of caves. I want to be here at home, with you and mum and Adrian instead of a bunch of strangers at a hospital.”

 

Phil guessed he could understand that. And he could admit that he might feel the same, if their roles were switched. Hospitals weren’t exactly his favorite places to visit.

 

Once the birth plan was decided, they all had a big meeting, him and Dan, Dan’s Omega mum and brother, and the two midwives. Patricia had told them that since Dan’s family were going to be present during the birth, it was important for them to be familiar with the details of their birth plan and ways they could help during the birth itself (as well as things that would definitely not be helpful).

 

At the end of it, Dan’s mum looked misty-eyed but determined, while Adrian looked a little stunned. It was probably something to do with all the discussion of pain management and ways to prevent tearing and how to deal with the afterbirth. Phil was pretty sure he overheard the Alpha on the phone with his girlfriend later checking up on whether she had remembered her birth control pill that day. It would have made Phil chuckle if he himself wasn’t half-terrified about the whole thing.

 

He found himself on his phone to his dad the next day.

 

“Oh, Phil. How are you? How are Dan and the baby?” His dad had a much thicker northern accent than Phil himself had ever had, and something about the sound of it always made him smile.

 

“We’re all fine. Dan’s tired a lot but excited to know the baby will be here soon.” He fished around for something else nice to tell his dad before launching into the litany of all his worries. “Oh, we finished the nursery last week! Adrian’s still sleeping on the floor in there, but he’ll move to the office once the baby comes.”

 

“That’ll be nice,” Mr. Lester said in his may-or-may-not-have-been-actually-listening way. “Make sure to send your mother pictures. You know she’ll want to see it.”

 

“I will,” Phil assured him. There was a pause, and then he decided to just go for it. “What was it like, uh, when Martyn was born? For you, I mean. Weren’t you, um, scared at all?”

 

On the other end of the line, his dad let out a low chuckle.

 

“Oh, I was absolutely panic-stricken,” he said. “Your mum was calm as anything, coming to tell me that her water had broken. I was the one running around, trying to call the hospital and pack our bag and help her to the car all at the same time.”

 

Phil laughed a bit too. He almost couldn’t imagine it, his stolid, soft-voiced dad losing his head like that.

 

“What about before, though? Before the actual birth. Didn’t you worry that something might go wrong?”

 

“Hmm,” Mr. Lester said, taking his time to answer. “Not very much, I suppose. I knew we would be in good hands with our midwife and doctor. Why? Are you worried? Is something wrong with Dan?”

 

“No, no, Dan is fine. The baby is fine. It’s just… He wants to give birth here at the house, and I’m just worried that something could go wrong, and there won’t be a doctor near.”

 

“Hmm,” his dad said again. “We never tried a home birth, for either of you boys. I don't know how I would have felt about that. I will say, though, that if it’s what your mum had wanted, we’d have done it.”

 

“Yeah,” Phil sighed. It was pretty much the same conclusion he’d come to. “Well, thank you. I’ll talk to you later.”

 

“Talk to you later, Son,” Mr. Lester echoed and then ended the call.

 

Phil kind of wished he’d called his mum instead. She was at least better at offering comfort, even if she probably wouldn’t have any better advice. When he tried her number, though, she didn’t pick up, and he left a voicemail saying that he’d just been calling to chat and not to worry about giving him a call back.

 

He spent the afternoon trying to distract himself, first with Final Fantasy XV and then with a bout of online shopping. It ended with him buying a pink, plastic hippo lamp that seemed very important to own at the time but that he regretted as soon as it arrived.

 

“I can’t decide whether or not this is a worse purchase than the golden pig,” Dan mused when Phil had unboxed and set the thing up in their lounge.

 

“It’s an improvement because now he has a friend?” Phil suggested, looking over it with a doubtful expression.

 

“Hmm,” was Dan’s only response.

 

Phil flopped back onto the sofa and let out an unhappy sigh.

 

“I don’t even know why I bought it,” he mumbled, pulling his knees up under his chin. “Why do I always buy useless crap like this? I’m terrible with our money. I’m going to be a terrible father.”

 

“Wait. What?” Dan said, turning a puzzled look on him. When Phil just shrugged, the Omega waddled over to him, braced himself on the arm of the sofa, and then lowered himself slowly down beside him with a barely-audible grunt. “Okay,” he said then, “so, first of all, we can easily afford your habit of buying random cute shit online. Furthermore, you’re going to be an amazing father, and our child is probably going to love every silly, whimsical gift you decide to buy them on the spur of the moment. Right?”

 

Phil bit his lip and gave a tentative nod.

 

Dan leaned forward over his huge stomach, trying to get a better look at Phil’s face where it rested on his knees.

 

“Is there something more going on? Where did this come from all of a sudden?”

 

Phil turned a little so that he could meet Dan’s eyes. The Omega looked worried, which only made Phil feel worse.

 

“I dunno,” he said. “I just feel like, with this whole birth thing, you know exactly what you’re doing and exactly what you want, and meanwhile all I’m capable of doing is sitting here to the side wringing my hands and worrying.”

 

“Phil,” the Omega whispered, his expression softening. “You are absolutely vital to this whole process, okay? No, I’m not just saying that. Like, really and truly.” Dan stopped for a moment, his eyes shifting away to the side as something dark bubbled up in his expression. “I told you, didn’t I, way back when we first decided to have this baby, that there’s no one else I could see myself going through this with? Didn’t I?” His gaze snapped back to Phil’s face. “I meant that. Okay? I’m fucking terrified of all of this. You heard them talking in class the other day about what it’s like actually pushing a baby out of your body and what Patricia was explaining to mum and Adrian. I have to actually do that, Phil. I have to go through all of that. The only reason I’m not completely freaking out right now is because of you.”

 

Phil turned his head fully toward the Omega now, his eyebrows rising in surprise.

 

“Because of me?”

 

“Yeah, you, Phil,” Dan repeated, raising both hands and gesticulating to emphasize his point like he did when he got really worked up about something. “So many times during this whole ordeal, I’ve wondered whether I can really do this. Not just giving birth. The whole thing. Parenthood. Being responsible for another human life. Committing to raising a child for the next eighteen years. But every time I start to worry, I remember that I don’t have to do it alone. You’re here, Phil. As long as you’re here, I can get through anything.”

 

The Omega’s hands dropped to his side, and he turned a pleading expression on Phil.

 

“Oh,” Phil said, feeling like a complete and utter idiot. Dan didn’t need him to be worrying himself into a frenzy right now. That wasn’t helping either of them. Instead, Dan needed him to be supportive and strong. Even more than that, Dan needed Phil to trust him. To believe that he could do this. To believe that _both of them_ could do this. “You’re right,” he said, giving himself a shake. “We can do this. You and I can do this. You’re going to be a great dad, too, you know? But together, we’re going to be the best dads ever.”

 

That brought a smile to the Omega’s face. He reached a hand across the sofa cushions and squeezed it around Phil’s. Then Dan leaned toward him, and Phil let his legs slide down to the ground so that he could lean in too. Their lips met in a brief, warm kiss that was no less full of emotion for its briefness.

 

“We can do this,” Phil whispered when he pulled away.

 

Dan was grinning ear to ear. He nodded.

 

“We can do this.”


	20. Paradigm Shift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter on Wednesday <3
> 
> (Check my Twitter @phan_anonfics for writing updates. Now with 100% less shadowbanning!)

“Evelyn.”

 

Dan let the name sit for a moment and then shook his head.

 

“It’s a nice name, and it has that whole unisex thing going for it, but it just doesn’t work with the middle names.”

 

Phil scrunched up his face, shrugged, and then marked the name off the list.

 

“Antonia,” he read out the next name and then glanced up at Dan with an expectant look.

 

“Wouldn’t they just get called Tony all the time, though?” Dan pointed out. It was the end of the 38th week of his pregnancy. The bag was packed (in the hopefully unlikely event that they ended up needing to go the hospital for the birth), the nursery finished, the house cleaned top to bottom, he’d just had his (hopefully) last appointment a couple of days ago, and pretty much all that was left was the birth itself. And for the two of them to finalize their choices for baby names. Their list still had about ten names on it, and they needed to get it down to at least half that many before the baby arrived.

 

“What’s wrong with being called Tony?” Phil asked.

 

“I dunno,” Dan said, shifting on the bed in a vain attempt to get more comfortable. There was a huge pile of pillows behind him to keep him well propped up, but while he wasn’t in any particular pain at the moment, his heavy belly made it impossible for him to feel anything remotely like comfortable. “I just don’t really like it as a name. And what about your weird Tony Tiger thing?”

 

Phil shuddered and then crossed out the name without any further argument.

 

“Annette,” Phil read out. 

 

“That’s a nice one,” Dan said. “Why did we pick out all these old-fashioned girl names, though?”

 

“I like old-fashioned names,” Phil said. “They sound pretty but distinguished. Like a fancy lady or something.”

 

“You really think any kid raised by the two of us is going to grow up to be a fancy lady?”

 

“It could happen. I mean, look at our parents.” Dan had to concede that point. “Anyway, how do you feel about Annette.”

 

“Hm,” Dan thought about it. “Annette Kathryn sounds good, and the initials AKL don’t spell out anything weird. We can keep it for now, I guess.”

 

“Annette Kathryn Lester,” Phil said, pronouncing the name portentously, like he was a butler announcing the arrival of the honored guest at a dinner party. “I like it,” he said with a grin and then drew a little star next to the name on the pad of paper he held.

 

“Is that it for the girl names?” Dan asked, craning his neck a bit to try to read the list without moving from his semi-comfortable position.

 

“Well…” Phil said, casting him a glance from the corner of his eye.

 

“We aren’t naming our kid Buffy, Phil.”

 

“No, no, I get it,” Phil protested, setting the list down so that he could gesticulate more freely. “Buffy is a weird name for a real-life person, but what about Willow. Willow is pretty, right? No, just imagine it: Willow Kathryn Lester. Or Willow Karen Lester. Either one sounds good.”

 

“I’d prefer Anya.” Dan crossed his arms over his swollen breasts and gave Phil an unimpressed look. The Beta stuck out his tongue.

 

“But I had a friend named Anya growing up, and as much as I like her, I don’t want to name my kid after her.”

 

“But you’d name your kid after a witch who is occasionally known to practice black magic?”

 

“Hey, she was mostly good,” Phil said. “Look,” he rushed on, picking up the pen and pad again. “Just consider it.” 

 

When Dan didn’t say anything else in response, Phil must have taken that to mean that he would consider it because he very carefully and neatly added the name “Willow" to the list.

 

“We’re supposed to be getting rid of names,” Dan groaned, flopping his head back against the pillows. “We can’t go around calling this poor kid by ten different names.”

 

“I mean, I’ve heard of worse,” Phil said, doodling a little stick figure on one corner of the notepad. “I heard of a couple in America who couldn’t pick and ended up calling their child by twelve different names.”

 

“Please,” Dan begged. “Please don’t let that be us.”

 

The Beta cast him a sidelong grin, his tongue poking out one side of his teeth as it did when his smile reached its fullest extent.

 

“Does that mean you’ll let me cross Oscar off the list?”

 

“But I love Oscar!” Dan whined. Out of all of the potential baby names that had come and gone from their list, this was the one they’d argued over the most. As far as Dan was concerned, it was an adorable name with a sort of classic feel. He liked the almost rakish image it called up. Like Oscar Isaac playing Poe Dameron in the new Star Wars series. But Phil said that all he could think of when he heard it was the little gold man on the Academy Awards statue.

 

“It’s not a bad name,” Phil began in a tone that told Dan there would be a ‘but.’

 

“Then let me keep it on the list,” Dan cut him off before he could get to his objection. “We can cross something else off. What else is left?”

 

“Laurence,” Phil said. “Which you didn’t want to get rid of because you thought it would be cute to call them Laurie for short.”

 

“But it would be,” Dan said.

 

“Xander—“

 

Dan groaned.

 

“Which we are keeping on the list if you’re going to insist on getting rid of Willow,” Phil continued, raising his nose in the air a bit and refusing to look over at Dan.

 

“Fine,” Dan grumbled, “but only if their full name is Alexander and Xander is just a nickname.”

 

“I can live with that.” Phil shrugged. “The last one is Miles.”

 

“Hmm,” Dan said. “Let’s get rid of that one. Miles is one of Fleur’s baby’s names, and anyway it doesn’t go well with Nigel.”

 

There was a pause before Phil spoke up.

 

“I mean, there is always your Alpha Mum’s name too.” His voice had gone too quiet, wavering a bit with uncertainty.

 

That had been another…well, not exactly argument, but certainly a sticky subject in this whole naming ordeal. They’d both liked the idea of giving the baby one of its grandparents’ names as a middle name, which was perfectly fine with three out of four of the grandparents in question. Dan had been very much against using his Alpha Mother’s name, but Phil had suggested that in future things might smooth over between them, and he might regret not considering the option.

 

Miles Jay Lester would be kind of a cool name, but at the end of the day, honoring his Alpha Mum by naming their child after her just rubbed him the wrong way. As far as he was concerned, she didn’t deserve any such honor.

 

He shook his head.

 

“No, let’s cross it off. I like Nigel better for a middle name.”

 

Phil chewed at his lip for a moment, and Dan wondered if he would argue. He didn’t, though. He just crossed off the name and then held up the notepad in front of his face.

 

“That leaves us with six names,” he said, rolling his eyes toward Dan. That look told Dan that Phil already knew he wasn’t going to get away with it.

 

“You’re still counting ‘Willow,’ aren’t you?”

 

“It’s a cool name!”

 

“So is Oscar.”

 

“Ughhhhh,” Phil groaned, throwing the notepad and pen down again and rolling over to hide his face in the pillows. “I give up,” came his muffled pronouncement. “That’s enough baby name drama for the day.”

 

Dan chuckled at the Beta’s exaggerated display, but he was inclined to agree. All of the baby’s official documents would just say “Baby Alpha Lester” until they reached school age anyway. At least, that was when most parents officially registered a name for their children, though of course children usually settled on a single name long before then. Most began expressing a preference for the name they wanted to be called by the age of three or so, some even younger than that. Some parents only gave their children two names to choose from, though most, like Dan and Phil, tried to give them a range of options. Dan could still vaguely remember being called Yazi or Lara sometimes when he was really little. Phil had actually been called both Philip and Fiona nearly until his fifth birthday.

 

Honestly, it wouldn’t be a huge deal if, by the time the baby was born, they still had six names on the list. They could try them all out and see which ones really stuck.

 

Sometimes it was a nickname that ended up sticking. That was what had happened with his Alpha Mum. One of her names had been James, but her family had mostly called her Jay, and that’s the name she’d decided she was most comfortable with.

 

He sighed. Was he really being unreasonable by completely leaving her name out of their options?

 

“Guess what?” 

 

He turned to see that Phil was now peeking out from his pillows, eyes fixed on Dan’s face with a certain anxious sparkle to them.

 

“What?” he asked, silently blessing Phil for the distraction.

 

“I got back the results of that DNA test thing.”

 

It had been one of Phil’s Christmas presents (and kind of a strange one) from his parents. He’d decided to make it into a video, like probably a zillion other people on YouTube had done before him. It wasn’t a very original idea, but they had no doubt their viewers would enjoy it all the same. Dan hadn’t thought much of it until they’d been looking over the list of reports he could expect back and seen just how much information it claimed to be able to give them. Not only was it supposed to tell them what Phil’s genetic ancestry was, it was also supposed to tell them some of the traits and diseases he could possibly have passed on to their child.

 

“Have you looked at them yet?” Dan asked, straightening up somewhat. They’d talked about Dan possibly doing the test too, if Phil’s video did well…or if they found out that he was a carrier for something concerning.

 

“Uh uh,” Phil said, shaking his head against his pillow. “I wanted my reactions to be authentic for the video.”

 

Dan frowned.

 

“You aren’t going to share all of the carrier status reports in your video, right?”

 

“No,” Phil agreed. “I don’t want to look at those with anyone but you.”

 

Dan was about to reply when he felt that intense, sharp pressure in his abdomen that he’d learned to recognize as a contraction. He went still, closing his eyes and sucking in a breath as he waited to see how long it would last. He’d been having a lot of little contractions over the past week, and Patricia had told him that while these were just practice ones, they were a sign that his real labor was probably not far off.

 

After about ten breaths, the pressure melted away again, and he let out a deeper breath, one of relief.

 

“How do you feel?” Phil asked beside him. They’d both been practicing staying calm when one of the contractions came on, and Phil seemed far less anxious about the birth than he had been a few weeks ago.

 

“I feel fine,” Dan replied. “I think it was just one of the practice ones.”

 

“Can I get you anything? A drink or snack maybe?”

 

Dan shook his head.

 

“No, but I do think I’d like to take a nap.”

 

Phil nodded and then leaned over and pressed a kiss into his cheek. He knew very well that Dan had been sleeping poorly at night. He’d been needing little naps throughout the day to keep from feeling absolutely sick with exhaustion.

 

The Beta helped him settle and arranged the pillows the way he liked. Then he turned off the lights and shut the door and left the Omega to nap in peace.

 

 

Dan was awakened sometime later by another intense sensation of pressure in his abdomen. He was lying on his side, with all of the pillows still tucked in around him to support both him and the baby. He tried shifting a bit to see if that would ease any of the pressure. It didn’t.

 

So instead he reached across the bed for his phone to check the time. It was 4:15 PM on the afternoon of March 25. It had been a gorgeous, sunny day outside, the first day of the year that had truly felt like spring. A perfect day for new beginnings.

 

He set his phone down again and lay in the silent room as the pressure in his abdomen finally eased. He estimated that it had lasted for about fifteen seconds. Nothing to get excited about yet, and he’d only been asleep for about twenty minutes, so he snuggled back down amongst his pillows and let himself drift off again.

 

 

The next contraction woke him up at about 4:40. Twenty-five minutes since the last one. This one lasted for about the same length of time, maybe a little bit longer. This time, when the pressure had eased again, Dan pushed himself up and then slithered down from the bed, leaning on it for a while until his vision cleared. Then he lumbered over to the bedroom door, opened it, and called down the hall.

 

“Phil?”

 

There was a brief pause before his brother’s voice called up the stairs, “He went out for a quick trip to the shops.”

 

Dan took several deep breaths, not allowing himself a chance to panic. He was still in the very early stages, and Phil would be back soon. His Omega mum was out at her new job—this time as a front desk worker at a hotel—but Adrian was here, so he wasn’t alone.

 

“Thanks,” Dan called back downstairs. “Can you ask him to come up and see me when he gets home?”

 

There was another pause, this one longer, and then the sound of footsteps was followed by Adrian appearing at the top of the stairs. When he caught sight of Dan stood in the bedroom doorway, he strode over and stared up at him, forehead wrinkled. He took a strong sniff. Then his eyes went wide.

 

“Is it happening?” he asked, voice rippling with suppressed excitement. “Something seems different. The baby’s scent is…stronger? I guess?”

 

Dan laughed a little and reached a hand down to cup the low-hanging bottom of his belly. Patricia had let him know during his last appointment that the baby’s head had dropped down into his pelvis already, another sure sign that the birth would be soon.

 

“Yeah, I’ve started having contractions,” Dan said, marveling at how his brother had been able to tell just from his scent. “I think this might be it.”

 

Adrian bit his lip, the excitement welling up in his expression. However, he and their mum had also been practicing staying calm during the birth, to keep the environment soothing and relaxed for Dan.

 

“Would you like me to get you anything?” his brother asked.

 

Dan nodded.

 

“Could you bring me up a glass of water, really cold?”

 

“Sure. I’ll be right back,” and then he practically ran back down the stairs. He wasn’t quite as good at the whole staying calm thing as the rest of them, but Dan appreciated the fact that he was trying.

 

Dan headed back into the bedroom and fished his phone out from amongst the pillows.

 

 

_Hey, Patricia! I’ve started having regular contractions, about twenty-five minutes apart, lasting for fifteen to twenty seconds._

 

 

It was probably too early for her and Darren to come over yet, but they had agreed that he would contact her the moment he thought he was beginning labor. Her response came back quickly.

 

 

_That’s wonderful, Dan! Update me if they get more intense, last longer, or are closer together._

 

 

Of course he already knew to keep her updated, but the reminder still helped him feel that everything was under control.

 

 

_Thank you. I will_.

 

 

**

 

When Phil walked back through the door laden down with shopping bags (He’d just gone out for some spinach and had somehow ended up with two bags full of groceries), he was greeted at the door by a young Alpha positively vibrating with excitement.

 

“Dan’s gone into labor,” Adrian announced the moment Phil stepped through the door.

 

He almost dropped his shopping bags. 

 

Internally, it felt like there were smoke alarms and police sirens and warning bells all going off at once, so he closed his eyes, took several deep breaths, and then thrust the bags toward Adrian.

 

“Is he upstairs in the bedroom?”

 

The Alpha nodded and then looked down at the grocery bags, bewildered.

 

“Can you put those away for me?” Phil explained.

 

“Oh, yeah, sure.”

 

Phil didn’t wait for any further response but instead sprang for the stairs. When he reached the foot of them, he reminded himself again that he needed to stay calm. If he got stressed out, then Dan would get stressed out, and that would make this whole thing that much more difficult. He paused for long enough to go through a quick breathing exercise, like they’d learned in their antenatal classes. Then he made his way up the stairs at a determinedly relaxed pace.

 

He found Dan curled up on the bed, sipping at a glass of water and scrolling through his phone. Breathing exercises were great and all, but the sight of the Omega looking so serene and normal was what really eased the tension that had pulled tight inside Phil’s stomach.

 

“Hey,” he said, smiling as Dan looked up at him. He made his way over to the bed and plopped down at the edge. “Adrian said that you think the baby is coming.”

 

Dan returned his smile and then gave him a tiny nod.

 

“Yeah,” he said, setting his phone aside. “I’ve had about four contractions now, if we don’t count the one I had before I took my nap. I texted Patricia already, and she said to keep her updated.”

 

Phil reached over and brushed his fingers over the curls at Dan’s forehead, needing to touch him, even if only briefly.

 

“How far apart are they now?”

 

“About twenty-five minutes, maybe a bit less,” Dan said. As he spoke, he raised a hand and stroked it over his round belly. “It shouldn’t be too much longer until we meet them.”

 

“May I?” Phil asked, reaching out a hand toward Dan’s belly too.

 

“Of course,” the Omega replied, taking Phil’s hand and guiding it to his belly. It felt warm and firm. The baby must be asleep at the moment, as there was no movement. They’d grown so big these past few weeks that even pretty small squirms and kicks were often visible from the outside. Phil had even once seen an entire little footprint in the skin of Dan’s belly. It had been really cool but also a reminder of how strange it was that Dan had an entire other human being living inside his body right now.

 

Though not for much longer.

 

“Would you mind massaging my back with the lavender oil?” Dan asked after they’d both sat silently marveling over his belly for several minutes.

 

“Not at all,” he replied, bending to drop a kiss on the top of the round belly before he slid off the bed and went in search of the tiny bottle of oil. Another parent in their antenatal classes had suggested it, and Patricia had given the okay. In fact, she’d given them a long list of simple things they could do throughout the birth to help Dan stay focused and relaxed, such as playing soothing music, turning on a diffuser filled with relaxing oils, and having Dan wear comfortable clothes like a robe or his pajamas. Now that he thought of it, he noticed for the first time that Dan had already changed out of his shirt and maternity jeans and into his pajamas.

 

When Phil returned to the bed, Dan had his top off and was lying on his side. Phil climbed up and knelt behind him, then poured a small amount of the oil into his fingers and set the bottle aside. The soft scent of the lavender wafted out from his hands and around them, filling the room with calming scent. He reached down and began rubbing the oil into Dan’s skin in slow, rhythmic circles.

 

He could feel how tense the muscles in the Omega’s lower back had grown, so he spent an extra long time there, pressing gently with his thumbs until he felt the muscles loosen and relax. When he heard Dan let out a small snore, he held in a chuckle. He didn’t want to accidentally wake him. He was going to need his rest.

 

 

**

 

It was about half past ten that night when the two midwives finally came over. Dan’s contractions had stayed pretty steady throughout the afternoon and evening, but around 9:00, they’d started coming closer together, first at intervals of about ten minutes, then six, then five and lasting for about 30 seconds each time.

 

Phil had helped him downstairs for dinner, though he hadn’t eaten a whole lot. For the past several weeks, his stomach had been too squished by the baby for him to eat much more than a few bites at any one time. Still, he’d been hungry despite the contractions, so he’d sat at dinner with the rest of the family, his Omega mum having come home from work now, and sipped at some soup while they enjoyed their full dinner of pasta, garlic bread, and salad. 

 

He couldn’t be too bitter, though. They’d all been amazing so far, offering him assistance but not pushing if he said he was fine. He was really thankful for Patricia’s advice about preparing everyone in the family for the birth. Their calm attitudes were helping him avoid the panic that wanted to creep up on him every time he felt that sudden, overwhelming pressure in his abdomen. Just as the instructor had taught him in their antenatal classes, he did his best not to dwell on how difficult or painful this was going to be and instead concentrated on his breathing and on the fact that his body already knew how to do this, if he would just let it.

 

After dinner, they’d busied themselves setting up the birthing pool in the living room while he wandered around the house, doing anything and everything he could to keep himself from thinking too hard about the continuous surges of pain and pressure down below. Phil and Adrian and his mum hovered on the edges of his consciousness, chatting with him when he felt like it, letting him be when he asked them to. It was his mum who called Patricia when Dan’s contractions were finally, blessedly close enough together.

 

Despite his family’s helpfulness, he was still very relieved when Patricia and Darren finally arrived. By then, the contractions were down to four minutes apart and so intense he was struggling not to panic. There was something about the Beta midwife’s brisk, competent demeanor that instantly made him feel more secure and more relaxed. Patricia had decades of experience helping people give birth. She knew what she was doing. She knew how to help him through this. Also, her presence here was a sign that this would soon all be over and that the baby would soon be in his arms.

 

Patricia examined him soon after she’d arrived and let him know that he was dilated about six centimeters. By then he was feeling pretty tired already, but there was no way he would be able to really rest with the constant surging of painful pressure in his abdomen. Patricia suggested he lie down anyway. She had examined him on the sofa since there was no way in hell he was going to climb all the way back upstairs right now, so he stayed there, and almost as soon as Patricia had gone away, Phil appeared and began rubbing his back again.

 

Somewhere nearby, someone started up some music, and after a while the air filled with a gentle, herbal scent. He vaguely remembered that all of these things had been part of the plan, but all he could really think about right now was the necessity of breathing in deeply and then letting it out slowly and breathing in again and letting it out again. There were other sounds around him, quiet voices and people moving around, doing things he had no interest in finding more about, but all he thought about was the breathing and the soothing feeling of Phil’s hands on his body.

 

He didn’t know how long he lay there, with Phil’s hands rubbing slowly up and down his back and his thoughts focused on nothing but counting the number and length of his breaths. Beneath the scent of the oils in the diffuser, he could sense the scent of Phil, very close, and more distantly his Omega mother’s and his brother’s scents, and also, ever more distinctly, the scent of the baby. It had frustrated him at first that out of all the things his sensitive nose was able to pick up, the scent of his own child hadn’t been one of them. Dr. Paul had explained to him that this was normal, though. The baby’s scent had come on so gradually that his nose had simply adjusted it to it, and his brain assimilated it into his own scent. As far as his sense of smell was concerned, the baby’s scent was simply a feature of the scent of his body.

 

For the first time now, though, he could actually distinguish it from his own scent. It was strangely both foreign and familiar. He recognized it as something he’d been smelling for months now, but this was the first time he could tell it was the scent of an Alpha…the first Alpha in a very long time that he was excited to welcome into his life.

 

He floated back to the surface of consciousness with an excited smile on his lips. It was only then that he realized that Phil was no longer massaging his back. 

 

“Phil?” he asked, opening his eyes and looking around. The Beta appeared beside the sofa again in a heartbeat.

 

“I’m here.”

 

“Where’s Patricia?”

 

“Right here,” came the midwife’s voice from the other end of the sofa.

 

“Is it time yet?” he asked because he had no idea how long he’d been in labor now, but he was very, very ready for it to be over and for the baby to be here already.

 

“Would you like me to check how many centimeters you’re dilated now?”

 

He nodded. He could see her and Phil standing over him where he lay on the sofa, but somehow his mind couldn’t really put together what they looked like. They were just two familiar blobs gazing down at him. He reached over and grabbed Phil’s hand as he felt another intense tightening of the muscles deep inside his abdomen. Further down the sofa, Patricia was pulling down his pajama bottoms to examine him, but he couldn’t really feel that either.

 

He breathed in and out, focusing all his energy on staying calm despite the extraordinary pain.

 

“That’s ten centimeters,” came Patricia’s voice. “It’s almost time for you to push.”

 

A wave of relief washed through him. Soon. This was going to be over soon. They helped him up from the sofa, and that was when his waters finally broke. It began as just a small trickle of liquid down the insides of his thighs and then turned into a gushing waterfall.

 

“Oh no, the rug,” he murmured, frowning down at where the moisture was rolling off his feet and onto their nice, grey living room rug.

 

“Let’s get you over to the pool,” Patricia said in her calm, authoritative voice, so he let himself be led over to the big, blue birthing pool, which was now full of warm water. Phil helped him out of his pajamas and then into the water. The warmth felt really good, though not good enough to mask how painfully his womb was squeezing now.

 

It happened so quickly after that, but the intensity of the pain made the moments seem to last for hours. Suddenly, he was pushing, and Phil’s hands were resting on his shoulders while Patricia stood on the opposite side of the pool and Darren stood to his left, holding his hand. He sensed that his mother and brother were somewhere nearby, though they’d all agreed that for this part it was best to have fewer people around to distract Dan or make him feel uneasy.

 

He could feel the baby then, moving down from inside his womb and into the birth canal. It hurt. A lot. And then he pushed again and felt the baby move again.

 

“I can see the head,” he heard Patricia say.

 

Then there was one more push, one that made him feel like he was really going to tear apart, but then the baby was sliding out. He could see them down below in the water, a dark shape appearing between his legs.

 

He heard Phil suck in a sharp breath behind him. He leaned forward and took the small, wiggling body in his hands and lifted them out of the water. All he could do was stare for a moment. They were pink and wet with a few locks of water-darkened hair slicked down to their head, and their eyes were squished up tight. And they had two little arms and two little legs and round cheeks and a tiny penis and two hands bunched up tight into fists.

 

Then Patricia reached over and cleaned the baby’s mouth out with one gloved finger. The little pink lips opened, and the baby drew its first breath and let out a loud cry.

 

Dan lifted them up and cradled them close against his chest, feeling the warmth of their skin against his own. The tiny chest was heaving up and down as they drew their second and third and fourth and fifth breaths. He couldn’t think of anything but how beautiful and how perfect their face looked. And just how much he loved them.

 

“Hello,” came a hoarse whisper from behind him, and he turned to see Phil stood there, staring down at the softly crying bundle in his arms. There were tears in the Beta’s eyes, and for the first time Dan became aware that he was crying too.

 

“Look,” he said, as though Phil didn’t already have his eyes glued to their newborn child. 

 

“They’re beautiful,” Phil breathed.

 

“I know,” Dan whispered back, his voice wavering with exhaustion. “They’re the best thing in the whole world."


	21. Rosy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading and leaving me encouragement for this fic. You're all the best. Next chapter on Wednesday! <3

The first time they opened their eyes, Phil swore they looked right at him. He was leaning against the edge of the birthing pool, gazing over Dan’s shoulder at the pink, little creature in the Omega’s arms. Patricia had cut the umbilical cord and checked them over, weighed them (they were 8lb. 7oz.), and cleaned them up a bit before handing them back to Dan, covered with a soft towel. As Phil looked down at them, they opened their eyes and gazed back at him.

 

“They’re blue,” he heard Dan breathe. “Hello, baby. Hello, little one.”

 

Their eyes were blue, or to be more specific, a sort of blue-grey that, when they turned their head to look at Dan, glinted almost silver in the soft lamplight of their living room. It was nearly one in the morning now. The baby had been born less than an hour into Sunday March 26, 2017.

 

“They sometimes change color during the first year,” came Darren’s voice from off to Dan’s side. “Sometimes brown-eyed children start off as blue-eyed babies.”

 

“I hope they stay blue,” Dan murmured, sounding kind of distant and dreamy.

 

“I hope they turn brown like yours,” Phil said. He peered more closely at the baby, who was still squinting up at Dan as though they were trying to make out his face as well. Their face was all mottled and red and very pudgy, but something about it reminded him very much of Dan. “I think they look like you.”

 

“Hmm,” Dan said. “I think they have your lips, though.”

 

Phil examined the lips, but before he’d had much of a chance to decide whose they looked like, Dan sucked in a breath and pushed himself up out of the water.

 

“Here,” he said, and held the baby out toward Phil. It took Phil a moment to realize that he was meant to take them, but the look on Dan’s face gave him a sense of urgency. With all the concentration he could muster, Phil slipped one arm underneath the towel-wrapped baby— _oh my god they’re so tiny_ —and cupped their head in his palm and then slid the other arm underneath. The baby turned to look at him as they were passed, and as their eyes met his, everything else around him seemed to go dim.

 

They’d cried a little at first, right after Dan had pulled them from the water and while Patricia had cleaned and examined them, but now they lay quietly, squirming a bit as their eyes seemed to regard him. He remembered from his books and from their antenatal classes that at this point, the baby’s vision would still be pretty blurry. He wondered if he just looked like a human-y blob to them or if they really could make out something of his features.

 

“Do you remember me?” he murmured to them. “I talked to you a lot when you were still inside your Omega dad.”

 

Their eyes scrunched up and then they opened them again to stare at him some more. He heard Dan let out a soft moan, and he looked up from the baby to see that Darren had a hand on his back and was rubbing it up and down while Dan had that same look of painful concentration his face had born when he was still in labor.

 

“It’s probably just the afterbirth,” Phil heard someone say and turned to see Dan’s Omega mum stood on the other side of the sofa, out of Dan’s line of sight but still near enough to have witnessed all of the proceedings. Adrian was stood just behind her, and both of them were craning their necks, trying to get a better look at the bundle in Phil’s arms. He’d half forgotten they were even here, but of course they would be dying to see the baby by now.

 

He turned enough that that they would be able to see from where they stood.

 

“Oh, wow!” Adrian exclaimed, apparently having given up on keeping his voice down now that the main event was over.

 

“Shh,” Omega Howell admonished him, her eyes fixed on the baby in Phil’s arms still. “They’ve just been born. You don’t want to startle them.”

 

“Oh, right,” the Alpha whispered, looking chastened, though his eyes were glued to the baby too. “They’re so tiny,” he added after a moment.

 

“Phil?” came Dan’s voice from behind him, sounding just a bit anxious, so he turned back around to see Darren and Patricia helping Dan out of the pool. His eyes went straight to the baby and stayed locked there as the two midwives cleaned him up and wrapped him in his bathrobe.

 

“I’ll just need to examine you,” Patricia was explaining to the Omega as she led him over to the sofa. “Would you like the others to leave while I do so?”

 

He cast an apologetic glance toward his mother and brother and then nodded.

 

“Don’t worry about it, sweetie,” his Omega mum said, her voice soft. “Call us back when you’re ready.”

 

Phil didn’t know whether he was included in “the others,” but he suspected Dan wouldn’t want to let the baby out of his sight for a single moment, so he stayed where he was. And sure enough, as he lay back on the sofa and Patricia talked him through her examination, the Omega’s face stayed turned toward where Phil stood with the baby nestled in his arms, just a few steps away from the sofa.

 

“Very good,” Patricia said after a while. “All right, Dan, you can sit up again, if you feel like it.”

 

Apparently he did feel like it, for he pushed himself up at once and wrapped his bathrobe more securely around him. Then he held out his arms toward Phil.

 

Phil didn’t need to ask what he wanted. He took the two steps necessary to close the distance between them and then, with a feeling of regret, passed the tiny, warm bundle over to Dan. The Omega took them and held their body close against his bare chest.

 

“Go ahead and try feeding them,” Patricia directed. “They’re alert enough to manage it.”

 

So Dan positioned the baby with their mouth near one nipple, just as he’d practiced in their antenatal classes, and Patricia walked him through how to coax the baby’s mouth open and get them to latch on. It took a couple of tries, and Phil could see that Dan was struggling, but the midwife’s calm instructions seemed to keep him from getting too frustrated.

 

Finally, after several minutes, the baby seemed to figure out what to do and started feeding. A huge smile spread across Dan’s face as he gazed down at the baby hungrily suckling. Phil wished he could take a snapshot inside his brain of this moment, of how gorgeous Dan managed to look, exhausted and still a little damp, as he sat there on the sofa in his bathrobe feeding their child for the first time.

 

_Their child._

 

He’d had no idea how huge a change it would be, to have the baby actually here outside in the world. Of course before now he’d known that the baby was real. He’d seen it moving inside Dan’s belly, heard its heartbeat on the monitor at the baby center, felt its kicks against his palm. But now…now they were infinitely more real. An entire, perfectly-formed little human being with a nose and ears and fingernails, and they were breathing and eating. He could see the way their tiny ribcage expanded with each breath. He could see their mouth working as it pulled food from Dan’s breast. They were real. All of this was real.

 

_I’m a dad_ , the thought finally struck him. _That’s my baby_.

 

The pull toward them was magnetic. He found himself sinking down on the sofa next to Dan before he’d even realized he was moving, gazing down at the new, little life in the Omega’s arms in absolute awe. That was the only word for it. Awe. Right there in Dan’s arm was a human being who, less than nine months ago, hadn’t existed. Yet there they were, brand new and alive with decades of life stretching out before them.

 

_We did that_ , he thought. _Unintentionally, yes, but Dan and I made an entire new human being._

 

“How do I know when they’re done?” Dan asked after a while, turning his face slightly toward Patricia but without taking his eyes off the baby’s contented face.

 

“They’ll usually pull away on their own when they’re done,” she replied. She had taken the seat on Dan’s other side but was sitting with a foot or so of space in between. Phil was grateful to her for allowing them their space. Some irrational part of him wished everyone else would just go away and stop distracting him from the only two actually important people in the room. At the same time, an equally irrational part of him was urging him to run out into the street, grab the first person he saw and announce that he was a father!!!! And then maybe continue his mad dash around the neighborhood until everyone within a five kilometer radius new about how amazing today was.

 

A few minutes later, when the baby hadn’t pulled away yet, Dan turned toward the midwife again.

 

“What if they don’t pull away?” he asked.

 

“That’s fine,” she said, giving him an encouraging smile. “Sometimes it takes some time for them to learn what to do. You can also tell when they’re done by listening for the sounds of them suckling and swallowing. If they aren’t swallowing anymore, then they probably aren’t getting any milk. Right now, when your milk hasn’t come in yet, though, they really only need about five milliliters of colostrum at a time.”

 

“Should I just…detach them?” the Omega asked, frowning down at the baby still happily suckling away.

 

“Try it and see how they react,” the midwife suggested.

 

So Dan leaned back and pulled the baby gently away from his breast until their mouth disengaged. They smacked their lips a few times and slitted their eyes open to gaze up at him for a moment. Then their eyes slid closed again, and their little head rolled toward the Omega’s chest.

 

“There you go. I think they’re done for now,” Patricia said. “Why don’t the two of you share some skin to skin time while we finish cleaning up?”

 

Dan hummed and let out a nod, but like Phil, all of his attention was fixed on the sleeping baby. 

 

For a while they sat in silence, deaf to the bustle of the midwives tidying the mess the birth had made of their living room.

 

“You know,” Dan whispered sometime later, “I think they could be a Willow.”

 

A bubble of warm laughter rose through Phil’s insides, escaping at last as a muffled chuckle.

 

“I don’t know,” he whispered back. “I’m equally sure they could be an Oscar.”

 

“How about a Xander?” Dan said.

 

“Or rather an Alexander?” Phil returned.

 

Dan fell still for a moment and then let out the softest groan. Phil was alert at once, stretching out a hand to the Omega’s arm.

 

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

 

“No, no, I’m fine,” Dan muttered, tossing him a reassuring glance. “It’s nothing. It’s just… We can’t call them Alexander. Think of what their initials would be.”

 

“A-N-L,” Phil spelled out, frowning. “I don’t see why that— Oh. Oh my god. No, we definitely are _not_ giving our child a name that spells out ‘anal'.”

 

Dan’s shoulders were shaking as he did his best to hold in his laughter, and the jiggling movements made the baby’s face bounce up and down against the skin of his chest. Phil worried that this would wake them up, but apparently they were a heavy sleeper because they stayed fast asleep.

 

“Should we call your mum and brother back in here now?” Phil asked when they’d both finally got their laughter under control.

 

“Just one more moment,” Dan whispered, squeezing the baby a tiny bit closer. They sat there a moment longer, the three of them in the first hour as a family, and let it all sink in. _They were dads._

 

Phil didn’t want to have to leave Dan and the baby to go get Omega Howell and Adrian, but there was no way he was making Dan do it, and the midwives were still busy tidying up. He found the both of them in the kitchen, each with their mobile in hand, probably furiously updating their social media. Come to think of it, Dan and Phil needed to do the same. If ever there was a time to make a big announcement, this was it.

 

They both perked up the moment he walked into the room.

 

“Can we see them now?” Dan’s mum asked, her dark eyes eager.

 

“Yes, they’ve just had a feed, and they’re sleeping soundly,” Phil told her, finding it impossible to keep a grin off his face.

 

Adrian was out the door almost at once, but Omega Howell paused next to Phil in the doorway.

 

“You might want to update your own family now, if you haven’t yet,” she said and then slipped out again.

 

Oh, right! Of course he’d texted them earlier in the evening when Dan had first gone into labor to let them know the baby was coming. It was past one in the morning by now, but he doubted even his parents had managed to get to sleep yet. He patted around in his pockets, frowning to himself when he didn’t immediately find his phone.

 

It took a thorough ransacking of the living room, office, and bedroom before he turned up his phone underneath a pillow on the bed. He had no idea how it had ended up there, but then again, his mind had been on other things throughout the evening. He groaned when he looked down at the screen and saw dozens of texts and a few missed calls. Oops.

 

He called his mum first.

 

“Phil!” she cried when she picked up after the first ring. “Finally. What’s the news?”

 

He paused for a moment, the words sticking in his throat.

 

“We have a baby,” he choked out.

 

On the other end of the line, his mum let out a little cry.

 

“You do? Oh goodness, tell me everything. How is Dan? What do they look like? Can we come down tomorrow to see them, or would you rather we wait. Nigel!” He could tell by the change in the sound of her voice that she had turned away from the phone. “The baby’s been born. We’re grandparents!”

 

She put him on speaker then, and it took a while to wrangle the conversation back into a steady back-and-forth that would let Phil answer all of his parents’ questions. Finally, his mother cut herself off mid-sentence and sighed.

 

“Oh, I’m sure you don’t want to be talking to us right now. Go back and spend time with your little one. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“Thanks, Mum,” he said.

 

“And congratulations. I almost can’t believe my baby boy is a father now,” she told him before ending the call.

 

She’d been very right about him wanting nothing more than to get back to Dan and the baby. When he returned to the living room, he found the midwives in the midst of bidding their good-byes to Dan while next to him sat a rigid-looking Adrian who stared down at the baby in his arms with an expression more appropriate to someone who had just dropped a birthday cake on the kitchen floor than someone holding his nebling for the first time. Omega Howell was sat on Adrian’s other side, cooing over the baby with shining eyes.

 

Patricia and Darren had a few words for him before they left, mostly about keeping an eye on Dan as he began his recovery, things to look out for, things to do or not do to help him heal. Patricia had explained during her examination earlier that he’d torn a little during the birth, nothing bad enough to require stitches, but nothing to be careless about either.

 

“You look a little pale yourself, dear,” the midwife said then. “Make sure you’re getting enough rest too. Your health is just as important as Dan’s and the baby’s.”

 

He nodded. He’d gone a little faint during her explanation about Dan’s injury.

 

She smiled at him then and reached over to pat him on the arm.

 

“Congratulations to you both.”

 

“Thank you,” he said, the words sounding rather mechanical to his ears. Maybe it was just tiredness. It had been a very busy night.

 

When he’d seen Patricia and Darren out the door, Phil did not hurry over to the sofa. No, instead, he walked at a calm and measured pace over to where Dan and Omega Howell were gently talking Adrian through the apparently terrifying task of holding a newborn baby. Fortunately, the baby was sleeping through all of this like a champ.

 

“Annette,” he heard Dan murmur as he came to a stop in front of the sofa. “Eliot,” he said next.

 

“Laurie,” Phil said. The baby chose that moment to squirm a bit in Adrian’s arms, and a smug smile spread across Phil’s lips. “Think they like the sound of my voice,” he added.

 

“God, they’re probably just glad to be hearing anyone other than _Dan_ after all these months,” Adrian put in.

 

“Hey!” Dan said. “I’ll have you know that babies are proven to find their bearer’s voice soothing and comforting because of how familiar it is.”

 

“My voice should be pretty comforting and familiar by now as well,” Phil pointed out, crouching down in front of Adrian simply because it put him nearer to the baby, “after all the talking I did to Dan’s baby bump.”

 

The baby squirmed again, and since Adrian was starting to look alarmed, Omega Howell declared that it was her turn to hold the baby now. She pulled them deftly from her Alpha son’s arms and then cradled them close to her chest, smiling down at them as she rocked them slowly back and forth. They quieted down again almost at once.

 

Phil let out a little sigh of relief. He couldn’t help but be glad that Dan’s Omega mum was still living with them. It was good to know that someone who had experience with this, who had in fact successfully raised two babies to adulthood, would be here to give them advice and shoulder part of the burden. Even Adrian’s presence was some comfort, though he was gone a lot for school or to spend time with Rachel or his friends. It was nice to know they had this kid outnumbered four to one.

 

He stood and walked over to Dan’s side of the sofa, where the Omega was intent on watching his mum cuddle their newborn child. He settled himself on the arm of the sofa and pulled out his phone to text his brother and Cornelia, who had they’d been the source of all of the other missed notifications on his phone.

 

_i’m a dad! eight pounds seven, 53 centimeters. they’re going to be tall like their dads._

 

It was only seconds later that his phone buzzed with Martyn’s reply.

 

_congratulations!!!!!! pictures?_

 

Oh, right! They’d been so caught up in marveling at how amazing the baby was that they’d forgot to document all of this. 

 

Phil hopped back up again, still full of excited energy, and organized an impromptu photo shoot, capturing shots of each member of the family with the baby and then having Adrian take a photo of just him, Dan, and their newborn. And then of course he took tons of shots of just the baby, still peacefully asleep in their bearer’s arms. He supposed they must have got used to sleeping through anything and everything back when they were still inside the womb.

 

Once he was satisfied that the moment had been thoroughly documented, he sent out a mass text to his parents, Martyn, and Cornelia with the best of the pictures and got back several excited replies. They all assured him that they made an adorable family and that their baby was the cutest baby ever to exist, though he had already been well aware of that fact.

 

“Should I post this on Facebook,” he asked Dan, as the two of them admired the picture of them with the baby, “or do you want to wait until morning?”

 

“Let’s wait,” Dan said, his voice rather rough. Phil peered closer at Dan’s face and realized that his eyelids had begun to droop.

 

“Okay,” Phil said, standing up from the sofa arm again. “Would you like to try putting them in the cot and getting some sleep now?”

 

“No,” Dan shot back at once, but then he sighed and slid one hand out from under the baby to rub it against his forehead. “But we probably should. I just don’t want to put them down.”

 

“I remember that feeling,” came his mum’s laughing voice from his other side. “But they’ll be awake again in a little while anyway. Might as well get some rest yourself while you wait.”

 

It was slow going, getting Dan up the stairs to their bedroom. He was understandably tired and sore, but he also wanted to keep holding the baby for as long as possible. Phil followed beside him with an arm around his waist and the other braced against the bannister, supporting him and the baby both all the way up. 

 

Earlier in the evening, Omega Howell had come up to their room and set up the baby’s cot for them. It wasn’t the big baby cot that stood already in the nursery, ready for when the baby was old enough to move into their own room, but one specifically designed for these early months. It attached to his and Dan’s bed and let the baby sleep safely next to the Omega where he could easily reach for them when they woke up hungry in the night.

 

Dan carried the baby over to it now while Phil shut the door behind them. That click of the door shutting put a sudden, huge smile on the Beta’s face. It was just them now, just their little family, about to spend their first ever night together. Well, technically the baby had been spending the night with them for months now, but starting tonight, they were entering a whole new world.

 

He came over to the cot to see that Dan was carefully wrapping the baby up in a swaddling blanket. When he had finished, they looked like a cute little burrito with just a chubby, pink face sticking out the top.

 

Phil reached out a hand and found Dan’s where it hung at the Omega’s side, and finally Dan managed to drag his eyes away from the baby to look at Phil. There were purple smudges beneath his long lower lashes, and his cheeks looked too pale, but he was smiling.

 

“We did it,” he murmured.

 

“You did it,” Phil countered, matching the Omega’s smile. “You were incredible. I’m just…kind of in awe.”

 

Dan breathed out a small laugh through his nose.

 

“I kind of am too. It’s…a lot to take in.” As he spoke, his eyes drifted back down to the where the baby lay sleeping in their cot. “Come on,” he said, looking back up to Phil again. “Let’s lie down at least.”

 

Phil had to help Dan into bed, and that was slow going too. Not surprisingly, it was painful for Dan to sit down or put any kind of pressure on his backside, but they managed to ease him down onto the bed, and then he lay back while Phil pulled the duvet up around him.

 

“Want me to burrito you too?” he asked as he tucked the fabric in under Dan’s arms.

 

The Omega snorted.

 

“Couldn’t hurt,” he said, shaking his head as Phil moved around to his own side of the bed. “The baby seems to like it, at least.”

 

“Isn’t it supposed to remind them of being in the womb?” Phil asked as he slid under the duvet as well. “I wonder if I swaddled you up well enough if you could remember being in the womb.”

 

“God, I hope not,” Dan muttered, “That would be, like, birthception or something.” He turned a little toward Phil as the Beta settled in. “Hey, Phil,” he said then, his tone different, softer.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I was talking to Darren earlier,” he began, his face taking on a cloudy look that immediately had Phil’s adrenaline pumping. “You know, he was here as the Omega specialist midwife, and he suggested something that I thought we might try.”

 

Phil’s heart rate calmed down again. He really needed to stop getting anxious at every tiniest sign that something could be wrong. They were fine. They were going to be fine.

 

“What is that?” Phil asked, rolling a little bit closer to the Omega. He was feeling a sudden urge to be nearer to him, to put his arms protectively around him, maybe even to hold and kiss him.

 

“Well, you know how Dr. Paul told us that the baby could learn your scent in the womb from you biting my bonding gland?”

 

Phil raised his eyebrows. They’d been following that particular bit of advice religiously, and judging by the baby’s reaction to Phil holding them earlier, it seemed to have worked. Nevertheless, he nodded for Dan to continue.

 

“Darren was saying that, since our baby is an Alpha, it could reduce their stress and help you bond with them more quickly if I scent you as well.”

 

Phil’s eyebrows rose even higher, and his heart started beating harder again, though for a very different reason now. Phil had only been scented a handful of times in his life, a couple of times by Alphas he’d dated, which had felt unpleasantly possessive, and exactly one time by Dan. It had been years ago when they were first dating, and it had been an accident. They’d been in Phil’s bed with Dan kissing slowly up his neck, things growing more heated by the moment, when Dan’s kissing had shifted into a weird sort of rubbing before suddenly the Omega’s body had gone stiff and he’d jerked away, sputtering an apology. Phil hadn’t even realized what had happened at first, but when Dan had explained, Phil had been a little shocked. Dan was, after all, the first Omega he’d ever dated, and he’d still half-believed all of that “submissive Omega” bullshit. He’d never known that Omegas could also be territorial. The two of them had talked it out, though, and agreed it would be best for Dan to refrain from scenting him again. They hadn’t exactly been keeping their relationship a secret at that point, but that didn’t mean they’d wanted to broadcast it to the world either.

 

He’d spent a few days apparently drenched in Dan’s scent before it had faded away, and Dan had kept his glands to himself after that. Throughout the rest of their early relationship, Phil’s thoughts would drift back to that moment occasionally, unable to keep from wondering how different it might have felt to be scented by Dan if he were an Alpha or an Omega. It was one of the few times he’d regretted being unable to share that part of Dan’s sexuality.

 

By this point, though, it had been years since he’d been reminded of that night.

 

“You know, because Alphas are instinctually territorial,” Dan was explaining in his croaky, tired voice, “and of course as the baby grows up, we can teach them to control that instinct, but at this age they aren’t old enough to understand why it might upset them to have a Beta around who doesn’t smell like their bearer. Mum and Adrian do smell like me, of course, because we’re family, and you smell a little like me just from being around me so much, but—“

 

“Let’s try it,” Phil cut him off. It wasn’t like he really needed all of that justification to want to do something like this with Dan. “Our relationship isn’t really a secret anymore, and anyway, we probably won’t be out and about much for a long time.”

 

“Yeah,” Dan agreed, his eyes making a circuit around Phil’s face. There was something in them that seemed to spark with warmth, despite his obvious exhaustion. “Come here,” he said after a time.

 

Phil moved toward him at once, crowding close into the Omega’s space. He slipped an arm over Dan’s back and then, just because they were so near and he wanted to, dropped a kiss on his lips. Dan kissed back with fervor, ardent in spite of his tiredness, his own arm creeping up and over Phil’s side, pulling the Beta in closer against his body.

 

For a while, they just kissed, having stumbled across an easy outlet for all of the emotions that had built up inside them over these past ten hours. Phil wasn’t at all surprised when he soon tasted salt on Dan’s lips. He thought they might both be crying. 

 

At last, Dan pulled away again, only to lower his lips to Phil’s neck instead. The Beta tilted his head back, allowing his mate full access to his throat. The Omega started out with featherlight kisses, more like gentle strokes of his lips against Phil’s skin. They grew heavier, warmer, wetter. Then came his teeth, nipping and scraping lightly at the sensitive flesh, making Phil shiver with the heady sensation. And then, just as had happened all those years ago, Dan’s mouth disappeared, only to be replaced by the sensation of his cheek, his temple, his jaw, his neck rubbing against Phil’s neck, leaving a trail of his pheromones that anyone with a sensitive enough nose would be able to follow. _This Beta belongs to me_ , the scent would seem to say. _He is part of my pack, part of my family._

 

Phil was good and hard inside his pants by then, the kissing and rubbing and everything he’d experienced today all combining to make him feel on the verge of exploding.

 

“Dan,” he breathed, feeling a twinge of guilt that he was going to ask Dan for something like this when he’d just given birth a mere two hours before. “Would you put your—“

 

But he was destined never to finish that sentence because the baby chose that very moment to wake up and let out a furious squawk.

 

By the time Dan had pulled them from their cot and coaxed them into feeding, Phil’s cock had gone soft again in his pajama bottoms. But that was fine with him. He was perfectly content to lie here next to Dan and their baby, wondering at how incredible life was.

 

And there was so much still left to come.


	22. Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for waiting so patiently for this chapter, even though it was a little delayed. I should be able to start posting twice a week again now, so look for the next chapter on Monday! Thank you so, so much to everyone who has stuck with my fic this far and to anyone who's just started reading it. <3
> 
> (Writing updates on my Twitter @phan_anonfics)

_THE BABY IS HERE!!!_

 

Dan’s head throbbed with the exhaustion headache that had taken up residence in his left temple sometime around 6:00 that morning, but he still managed a smile for Phil’s excited tweet. The all-caps sentence was accompanied by the best of the pictures that Adrian had taken for them last night.

 

Last night. It seemed like another era already. He could hardly wrap his mind around the fact that at this same time yesterday, the baby was still inside him without a single sign that they would so soon be out here in the world.

 

Dan studied the photo attached to Phil’s tweet.

 

He and Phil were sat close together on their sofa, gazes intent on their quietly-sleeping newbornnestled tight in Dan’s arms. His tiredness was obvious in the paleness of his face and slump of his shoulders, but all-in-all he thought he looked pretty good for someone who’d just gone through eight hours of labor and then pushed an eight-pound baby out of his cloaca.

 

Today, he very, very distinctly felt like someone who had pushed an eight-pound baby out of his cloaca. Everything was sore, but most especially his hole and the surrounding area. His breasts and nipples were also throbbing as they worked to begin producing the milk that would feed the baby over the next several months. It didn’t help that the baby was still figuring out the whole nursing thing, and more than once already Dan’s nipples had suffered for it.

 

Still, when he lowered his phone and fixed his eyes on the little bundle all wrapped up inside the bassinet beside the bed, it all felt fully worth it.

 

It was after lunch, and the baby had just fed a few minutes before. Then Dan had lain and watched as Phil had fumblingly changed their diaper and cooed and talked to them until they’d fallen back asleep. Then the Beta, who (curse him) had slept pretty soundly through every nighttime feeding, had suggested Dan catch a nap while he went downstairs to get some work done.

 

Dan had every intention of taking advantage of the opportunity to catch up on the sleep he’d largely missed out on last night. But it had been the better part of a day since he’d last had a chance to check his social media, and he felt utterly out-of-touch with the outside world. Baby or not, he was still Daniel Howell, Full Time Internet Hobo.

 

He’d barely opened the Twitter app when the banner announcing that Phil had tweeted flashed across the bottom of the screen. He couldn’t help the tired grin that had taken over his face then. Phil was still Phil, too, always eager to tweet about the most exciting part of his day.

 

_i’m so emo_

 

_fuck! you’re so adorable!_

 

_Congratulations!!_

 

_OMG they’re BEAUTIFUL JUST LIKE YOU TWO_

 

_I can’t believe you’re dads now? I’ve been watching you since 2009. Wow!_

 

_that baby’s so cute i could eat it #amodestproposal_

 

The responses to Phil’s tweet had already begun to pour in.

 

_Names?_ he read and then frowned. They’d agreed that this one picture—the first picture—was okay to post, but they’d yet to come to an agreement about sharing their baby’s names with their audience. Once they put the names out there, they would be out there forever. Some people, him and Phil included, didn’t really care if others knew what they’d used to be called when they were little. But there were lots of people who preferred to keep their old names secret, for a variety of reasons, often very personal. What if their child grew up to be one of those people? They wouldn’t thank their dads for taking that choice away from them.

 

On the other hand, could they really spend the next five or six years publicly referring to their child as “the baby,” “our child,” or other such generic terms? There was every chance that at some point in a live show or some other unguarded moment, they would let one of the names slip. And god but how their viewers loved to latch onto those tiny details. He got it. Of course he did. It was exciting to feel like you’d uncovered some deeply-guarded secret. If they’d learned anything from their past eight years in the public eye, it had been that the more secretive they were about something, the more badly people wanted to know about it.

 

And, yet, was that a good enough excuse for compromising their child’s right to privacy?

 

In a variety of ways, the baby presented a whole new challenge in their relationship with their audience. More than ever, they would have to walk that razor thin line between oversharing and overprotecting.

 

With a sigh, Dan tossed his phone over to the empty side of the bed. That was a worry for a future, better-rested Dan. This Dan sorely needed his rest.

 

He took one more look at the baby and then, assured that they were safe asleep, passed out.

 

 

He was woken what felt like mere seconds later by a loud wail from nearby. It took his brain a while to figure out what the annoying, loud noise was and how he should respond to it. When he at last did, he managed to drag himself up and reach for the squalling infant, bringing them up to his bare chest—he was still wearing only a bathrobe and pants—and helping them latch onto his right nipple. This time, it only took a few seconds for them to find the right position. After an entire night and half a day of feedings, they were finally getting the hang of this nursing thing, he thought, and it only took a few moments for them to settle in to their feeding.

 

Once the baby was hungrily sucking away, Dan lay back and closed his eyes, knowing he couldn’t let himself fall asleep again until the baby was safely back in their own bed but also too fucking exhausted to stay entirely upright. His wakefulness was helped by the fact that the sensation of the baby nursing felt akin to someone trying to give him a hickey on a rug burn. His nipples felt raw, and he kind of couldn’t wait for the baby to be done eating so he could rub some more nipple balm into the sensitive skin.

 

Dan was drifting through a half-doze when the bedroom door opened. He was sort of aware of it and of the sounds of footsteps approaching the bed. The awake part of his brain observed that if it was a serial killer come to murder him in his sleep, they were going to have a pretty easy time of it.

 

Fortunately, it turned out to only be Phil. He could smell him well before he reached the bed, faint Beta scent mixed in with Dan’s own pheromones. His lips twitched into an involuntary smile as his nose caught his scent mark. He liked that. There was something deeply satisfying about it to the animal part of his brain.

 

The bed dipped under the Beta’s weight, and Dan’s eyes struggled open.

 

“Hey,” Phil said, smiling down at him where he and the feeding baby lay nestled amongst the bedding. The Beta was lounging against the pillows on the opposite side of the bed, looking much cleaner and better-rested than Dan felt. “Did you get some sleep in?”

 

“Mm,” Dan said, hoping Phil would understand that as a yes. He didn’t quite feel capable of coming up with entire words just now. The baby chose that moment to let go of his nipple, and he couldn’t help the immediate sigh of relief that slipped out between his lips.

 

“Oh, are you done then?” Phil asked, his eyes shifting down to the baby’s face. “Guess you’ll want to be winded then.”

 

“Mm,” Dan said again, settling back against the pillows and closing his eyes once more, no longer worried about falling asleep now that Phil was here to tend to the baby.

 

He slipped back into sleep almost immediately.

 

 

The next time he woke was the first time he hadn’t been wakened by the baby’s crying since…well, since the baby had been born. Instead, he rose slowly into consciousness, becoming aware first of the warmth of the duvet pulled up over him and then of the coolness of the air on his face and then of the sounds of cars passing on the road outside their window, and last of all of the pale afternoon light brushing against his eyelids.

 

Then he sat straight up, heart pounding as his eyes turned toward the baby cot. _Empty._ Panicked, he cast his gaze over the bed and then began ripping back the bedding, tossing duvet, pillows and sheets alike onto the floor in a frantic search for his missing baby.

 

After a good thirty seconds of this, it finally struck him that Phil had been here when he’d fallen asleep. He paused, on the verge of leaping out of bed—an action his aching body would surely not have thanked him for—and forced himself to take a few deep breaths. Right. Phil had had the baby last. He probably had the baby now.

 

When he’d got his heart rate back down to a normal level, he swung himself out of bed and made his way out of the room. He’d been planning to head downstairs, having some vague notion that Phil might have taken the baby with him to the office, but his nose immediately caught the baby’s scent much closer by. He followed the smell down the hall and into the nursery, where he found Phil sprawled on the floor with his laptop in front of him. The Beta looked up as Dan shuffled in, but the Omega’s eyes went at once toward the large, wooden crib that stood there in the nursery. Right in the center of the mattress lay the small, swaddled bundle he’d been looking for.

 

He shuffled over to the side of the crib and gazed down at the baby’s sleeping face, needing visual assurance that they were safe and sound.

 

“Feeling better?” came Phil’s voice from behind him.

 

“Hmm?” Dan asked, turning toward the sound. “Oh, yeah. I got some good sleep in. What time is it?”

 

“Uhh, about 3:30?” Phil said, pushing himself up off the floor. “I think you have time for a shower or to get a little more sleep in, if you like, before that one wakes up again.”

 

Just the word “shower” was enough to make Dan close his eyes and let out a little moan.

 

“A shower would be great,” he breathed.

 

And it was. It was absolutely glorious. He didn’t realize until he stepped under that soothing, hot stream of water just how grimy he’d felt.

 

Of course, it didn’t last. He’d barely had time to give his whole body a thorough washing when the distinctive sound of the baby’s hungry cries penetrated into the sanctuary of the steamy shower stall. He sighed and turned off the water. He’d just have to wash his hair next time.

 

He stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel to find Phil in the bedroom, rocking the wailing baby back and forth in an attempt to calm them.

 

“Here,” Dan said, walking over and holding out his arms. Phil shot him an apologetic look before he handed the squalling bundle over. The baby quieted the moment their face drew near Dan’s nipple. He guessed they could smell their dinner. Once they were safely latched on and feeding, he looked up at Phil with a wry grin. “Silly me, thinking that a little thing like hygiene should take precedence over feeding time.”

 

The Beta returned his grin and accompanied it with a head shake.

 

“What _were_ you thinking?”

 

Dan let out a chuckle as he made his way over to the bed and lowered himself gingerly onto it. Sitting was not a pleasant experience at the moment, but neither did he have the energy to stand for the entire feeding.

 

“Just so you know,” Phil said, coming over and joining him on the bed. “I’m fine with whatever you decide works for you, but we can always switch to bottle feeding if needed.”

 

Dan bit his lip and looked down at the round, pink-cheeked face latched happily onto his nipple. He sighed. He’d read so much, both in their books and online, about breast feeding versus bottle feeding. He’d listened to the more experienced parents in their antenatal classes, talked to Patricia, Darren, and Dr. Paul about it. He’d even had a discussion about it with his mum. She’d bottle-fed him but breast-fed his brother, so he’d wanted to get her perspective on each option. Every single source he’d consulted had told him that breast-feeding was rewarding but challenging and that he might want to quit once he experienced for himself just how challenging it really was.

 

And he kind of did want to quit. But some part of him wanted even more strongly to prove that he could do it. And buried deep down beneath both feelings was a fear that if he didn’t stick with it, he would be a failure as a bearer.

 

“Or, if you didn’t want to switch entirely, we could do like that one mum in our classes said and mix in a few bottle feedings after a couple of months.”

 

Dan’s eyes shifted back up to Phil’s face. The Beta had his head tilted to the side, leaving the question open.

 

“Maybe,” Dan mumbled and let his eyes drop back down to the baby’s face. For fuck’s sake, this was only the first day. He wasn’t going to give up that easily. “Let’s stick with the plan for now and see how we’re doing in a couple of months.”

 

Phil regarded him for a moment longer and then nodded and leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek.

 

“So,” he said when he’d leaned away again, “While you were in the shower, I got a text from Martyn that he, Cornelia, and my parents are on their way over.”

 

“All of them?” Dan asked. He could remember, now, Phil telling him last night (or was it early this morning?) that his parents would be coming down today to see their new grandchild. Dan had agreed to have them over, of course. They’d always been planning to come down once the baby was born, and today was an especially good day for them to visit because it was… Dan sat up straight all at once, jostling the baby, who still managed to cling tenaciously to its nipple. “It’s Bearers Day!” Dan cried. Shit. He’d completely forgot.

 

“Pretty cool coincidence, huh,” Phil chuckled, reaching out and stroking a finger over the baby’s cheek. They squirmed a bit in response to the touch but mostly stayed concentrated on their feed.

 

“But,” Dan said, “I had a whole thing planned. I was gonna cook my Omega mum her favorite dinner. Shit! I haven’t even wrapped her gift yet—“

 

“Dan, Dan, it’s fine.” Phil’s hand moved from the baby’s face to Dan’s arm, his fingers stroking the skin there instead. “I talked to Adrian earlier. He’s got dinner. Just tell me where the gift is, and I’ll wrap it up for you.”

 

The baby decided to unlatch then, yanking its head away from Dan’s nipple in a way that tugged painfully at the sore flesh.

 

“Ow,” he groaned, looking down into the little, contented face. “If I didn’t love you so much, I’d be giving you a thorough scolding right now.”

 

They didn’t look particularly concerned by this empty threat. Instead, they just looked sleepy and adorable, so much so that he couldn’t help bending down and nuzzling their face with his for a moment. Then he turned to Phil and held out the baby.

 

“Why don’t you wind them and that’ll give me a minute to wrap the gift myself.”

 

Phil took the baby with a warm smile.

 

“I’ll take any excuse to hold them,” he agreed, standing and walking over to where they’d stacked several clean muslin squares on top of their dresser. He pulled one from the stack and draped it neatly over his shoulder like he was already an old pro at this.

 

Dan had begun to stand up from the bed, meaning to walk over to where he’d hidden his mum’s gift in the closet, but he found he suddenly couldn’t look away from Phil.

 

Having protected his shoulder with the cloth, the Beta was now positioning the baby, settling them against his shoulder and bringing one arm under their tiny bottom. He was stood facing away from Dan so that the Omega had a clear view of the baby’s eyes peeping over their other dad’s shoulder.

 

“Did you have a good feed?” he heard Phil murmuring as he brought up his other hand and patted it gently against the tiny back. “Milk wouldn’t really be my food of choice as I’m lactose intolerant these days, but you seem to enjoy it.”

 

The baby’s little face scrunched up into a variety of weird expressions as their Beta dad’s hand slowly rubbed and patted over their back and the wind worked its way out of their tummy.

 

Dan could only stand and watch, his eyes stinging as tears began to fill them.

 

Phil was a dad.

 

His best friend in the whole world, the person he’d shared every aspect of his life with for the past eight years, the person he’d grown up alongside, the person who, in truth, was the foundation of his entire world—he was a dad now. He’d changed again, maybe grown up just a little bit more, begun to learn how to love and care for a helpless, miniature human being, and he’d done all of that _because of Dan_.

 

_I did that_ , Dan thought, wondering.

 

Over the years, he’d noticed every now and then how he and Phil were shaping and changing one another. After all, they’d been barely older than children when they’d first met, and they’d each had a lot to learn about sharing a home and a life with another person. They’d learned all of that from one another. In a very real sense, neither of them would be the man he was today without the influence of the other.

 

But _this_. How many times over those years had he heard Phil talk softly and reverently about how much he wanted to become a father? How many times had Dan hoped, because he loved Phil more than anyone else in the world, that someday he would get to experience that?

 

And now, here he was, holding his newborn child against his shoulder and babbling away to them in a tone that Dan knew—because he knew every one of Phil’s tones—meant that he was so brilliantly happy he simply couldn’t not talk about it. _And Dan was the one who had made that happen._

 

He picked his way across the room to where Phil stood, bouncing a little and patting the baby’s back still.

 

“—isn’t really that bad of a name. In fact, I think it’s starting to grow on— Dan?”

 

He slid his arms around Phil’s back and rested his head on the Beta’s shoulder, nuzzling into the warmth and scent of him. The tears were rolling freely down his cheeks now.

 

“Love you,” he mumbled into the skin of Phil’s neck.

 

“What?” Phil had paused his bouncing, though Dan could still feel the movement of his arm as he continued his patting.

 

“I said I love you.”

 

He felt the lifting of Phil’s shoulders as he sucked in a deep breath, felt their lowering as he breathed it out again.

 

“I love you back,” he whispered, “and Oscar too.”

 

Dan breathed out a laugh, the sound coming out a little choked as it mingled with his tears.

 

“Yeah, and Willow too.”

 

 

**

 

There were more tears later on as well, once Phil’s family had arrived. There was hardly a dry eye in the house as each Lester took a turn meeting the newest addition to their clan. They weren’t normally a weepy bunch, the Lesters, but Dan supposed this was a special occasion.

 

“Oh, Phil,” his mum exclaimed as she rocked the sleeping baby gently in her arms. She’d been given the privilege of being the first of Phil’s family to get to hold them. “They’re absolutely perfect.”

 

“I know,” the Beta replied, grinning down at the baby over her shoulder. “They get it from me.”

 

“That can’t be right,” Martyn chimed in from where he stood beside Phil with a pronounced frown on his face, “seeing as how you’re an absolute shi—“

 

“Shhh! Not in front of the baby,” Cornelia admonished him with a waggle of her finger. She was stood on Martyn’s other side.

 

Dan snorted, enjoying the tableau the family presented from where he was seated across the room on the sofa.

 

“I’m pretty sure I’ve already said that particular word in front of the baby at least once.”

 

“I doubt it matters much at this age,” Mr. Lester put in. He was hovering beside Phil, trying to appear nonchalant but clearly eager for his own turn holding the newborn.

 

“Yeah, Cornelia,” Martyn said, nudging his girlfriend with his elbow.

 

“Well, it’ll matter in a few months,” she returned, craning her neck to glare up at him. “Once they start picking up language.”

 

_Oh god_ , Dan groaned inwardly. She was right. In a few months, they were going to start trying to repeat back anything they heard their dads say. How was he ever going to manage not to curse around the baby? Words like fuck and shit and damn rolled off his tongue so easily he was hardly even aware of them.

 

Phil must have been thinking the same thing because when Dan turned his eyes back to him, he found the Beta regarding him with an amused expression.

 

“Think it’s about time I had a turn now,” Mr. Lester suggested, interrupting their moment, and he held his arms out toward his wife and raised his eyebrows hopefully.

 

“Just a few more minutes,” Mrs. Lester said without even looking up from the sleeping baby. “It’s Bearers Day, you know, so you all have to do whatever I want.”

 

There was general grumbling, but no one could really argue with her logic. It was, in fact, Bearers Day. She looked up from the baby at last right then with a grin and wink for Dan. He smiled back. Maybe he should be taking notes: Ways to Guilt Your Family Into Doing Whatever You Want By Reminding Them That You Went Through the Pain and Difficulty of Bearing and Birthing Them.

 

Of course, Mrs. Lester wasn’t mean enough to hog all of the baby time. After a couple more minutes she duly handed them over to their grandfather, and _god_ the way that man grinned down at his grandchild with the softest, most amazed expression. Dan couldn’t help feeling a pang of loss as he watched the emotions play across Phil’s father’s face. Was that how his Alpha Mum would be smiling if she were here right now? Could her feelings about her Alpha Grandchild ever be that simple and sweet?

 

He shook the thought off. Better to leave tomorrow’s worries for tomorrow. For now, he would just enjoy today, this moment, remember it as best he could so that someday he could tell Laurie how their grandparents’ faces looked the first time they held them.

 

When it came time for Cornelia’s turn to hold the baby, she looked almost as unsure about it as Adrian had last night, her arms shaking a bit as they reached out to receive the swaddled bundle that Mr. Lester was carefully passing over to her.

 

“You just put one hand under the head. Yeah, like that,” Phil was instructing from where he stood at her elbow in a far calmer voice than Dan thought he could have managed. As much as he loved Cornelia, his protective instincts had kicked in, and it was all he could do not to dash over and grab the baby from her shaky grasp. It helped that he could see Phil’s hands hovering near hers, ready to catch the baby should she fumble.

 

“They’re so small,” she marveled when she held their full weight at last. “How much did you say they weighed?”

 

“Eight pound seven,” Phil said with a proud smile. “A nice, healthy size.”

 

“Hmph,” Dan grunted, “you say that as if you had anything to do with it.”

 

“I made sure you got plenty of food and exercise,” Phil pointed out. “Among other things.”

 

Martyn snickered.

 

“I don’t think that’s an argument you want to get into, darling,” Phil’s mother suggested with a wry look toward Dan. “You’re never going to win it.”

 

“Damn right,” Dan muttered, shifting on the sofa and wincing at the twinge this caused in his backside.

 

Martyn was the last of the Lesters to take a turn holding the baby. The moment Cornelia passed the baby into his arms, he fell completely silent, his face taking on a solemn expression as he gazed down at his nebling. He took a deep breath.

 

“Hello,” he said in a soft, serious voice. “I’m your Uncle Martyn. You don’t know me very well yet, but I’m here to ensure that you learn about all the cool things that your dads—and don’t get me wrong, your dads are both very nice guys—are completely ignorant about, like sport and being popular at school and actual _good_ music—“

 

“Hey!” Dan and Phil both objected almost simultaneously.

 

“—but mostly,” Martyn plowed serenely ahead, “I’m here to spoil you absolutely rotten, so don’t worry if your dads ever tell you that they aren’t going to buy you that awesome new toy or take you to that cool show because your Uncle Martyn will always be here to do it instead and make them look like utter sticks in the mud by comparison.”

 

Having completed this moving speech, the tall Beta bent, dropped a kiss on his nebling’s forehead and then passed them back to their Beta dad.

 

“Remind me never to let Martyn near our child again,” Dan called in a stage whisper as Phil carried the baby over and sank down beside him on the sofa.

 

“Seconded,” Phil said, and the whole family laughed (except Annette, who slept quite soundly through it all).

 

 

**

 

What Dan appreciated most about Phil’s family was that they knew how to not outstay their welcome. After everyone had taken their turn holding the baby, they stayed only long enough for Phil to give his mum her Bearers Day gift (tickets to a West End show she’d been dying to see), and then Martyn and Cornelia whisked the Lesters away for a dinner out at a Thai food place Mrs. Lester happened to be very partial to.

 

That gave Dan and Phil a couple of hours alone since unfortunately Omega Howell didn’t get Bearers Day off, and Adrian had gone out to spend the afternoon with his girlfriend. They elected to use their free time for a nap.

 

It turned out to be a really good nap, with the both of them snuggled down close together under the duvet, not quite touching, and Eliot sleeping peacefully in their nearby cot. The nap lasted all of twenty minutes before the baby woke again, demanding their next feeding, but Dan still managed to wake up feeling refreshed.

 

When he came home a short while later, Adrian cooked a delicious vegan curry for their dinner, and once he and Dan had both graced her with their Bearers Day gifts, Omega Howell expressed the opinion that the only other thing she wanted out of the day was some time cuddling her grandchild.

 

It ended up being a slow family evening, with the four of them lounging about the living room, all drawn together by a common desire to be near the newest member of their family. Adrian brought his books out and worked on some homework while Phil caught up on his reading and Dan caught up on the internet. And Omega Howell dozed off in her chair with Laurie tucked up securely in the crook of her arm.

 

All of them were tired after a long day, so they made an early night of it, but of course Oscar woke Dan up again some three hours after he’d turned out the lights. He checked the time on his phone before pulling the baby out of their cot and bringing them over to the bed and settling them into place.

 

As he lay on his side, cradling the baby loosely against his body while they suckled, he found himself drowsily gazing into Phil’s equally drowsy eyes. The Beta had actually woken up this time.

 

“It’s just past one in the morning,” Dan yawned. “We’ve been dads for a whole twenty-four hours now.”

 

“How do you think we’ve done so far?” Phil murmured, his words slurred and sleepy.

 

Dan raised one hand enough to gesture at the baby between them.

 

“They’re alive and fed and wearing a clean nappy.”

 

A slow smile across Phil’s face.

 

“So what you’re saying is that we’re acing this?”

 

Dan returned his smile.

 

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”


	23. Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil learns that being a parent can be difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! We're nearing the end of the story now. Please look forward to the next chapter on Saturday, and please check my Twitter @phan_anonfics for updates. <3
> 
> Also, if you haven't already, check out this adorable art that @dnovep made based on Chapter 8: https://twitter.com/dnovep/status/996405113139982336 (They're on ao3 at the same name, btw!)

The first month was something of a blur for Phil—a blur that occasionally slowed down almost to a standstill at moments like the baby refusing to stop crying for an entire hour or the first time he saw them turn their head toward him when he walked up to their crib. 

 

As frustrating—even downright maddening—as parenthood was turning out to be, Phil found that he wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. Sure, he occasionally fantasized about the full, uninterrupted sleep he used to get every night, but the fact that each time he was jerked awake in the middle of the night it was to the sounds of his own child’s cries made it infinitely worth it.

 

Dan, on the other hand, was looking ragged. Phil worried about him sometimes. While Phil could choose to fall back to sleep any time the baby woke him, Dan had no such luxury. The baby woke because they were hungry, and Dan was currently their only source of food. Sometime toward the end of the last week, he’d started pumping so that the rest of the family could take over some of the baby’s feedings. Getting them to accept a bottle, though, had been a tough sell, and Dan felt that they got back to sleep more easily if he breastfed them instead of having Phil feed them from a bottle. According to Dan, the night feeds were his responsibility alone.

 

As a result, Dan hadn’t had a single full night’s sleep since the baby had been born, and he certainly looked it. His eyes were often red and glazed over, and he shuffled around sort of like a zombie. Phil knew he himself wasn’t a whole lot better off, but still, Dan was obviously dealing with the worst of it.

 

He and the baby were both asleep right now, for which Phil was grateful. He was taking the moment to upload yet another of their pre-filmed gaming videos. He was actually really proud of how consistently they’d still been able to upload this month. Anyone looking back over their channels in the future probably wouldn’t even notice a difference. They’d even managed to film a couple of new videos that were more timely, like their yearly Easter Baking video or the one about the death of Club Penguin. Today’s video was one that they’d filmed all the way back in February, though, as evidenced by the careful camera angles that hid Dan’s belly bump.

 

Phil smiled fondly as he recalled how big and round Dan’s belly had been back that. As much as the Omega had complained about the discomfort and inconvenience of lugging around a baby inside him, Phil had found the sight secretly very satisfying. It was probably some deep-seated animal instinct that made him feel that way, but he preferred not to think too much about it.

 

Dan’s body had mostly healed by now, his abdomen almost flat now, if softer than it had been before and scarred with stretch marks. Phil frowned as he thought about that. It was obvious that Dan hated the changes to his body. Any time he was changing clothes, he would turn away from Phil when he pulled off his shirt and make sure to have the next one fully on before he turned back around. Sometimes at night, they would kiss for a few minutes in bed (which was about all the physical intimacy that either of them could handle at this point), but if Phil let his hands wander too near Dan’s stomach, the Omega would pull away and say that he wanted to sleep now.

 

Phil hoped it was just a temporary thing. Maybe Dan just needed time to adjust to the changes before he felt comfortable with his body again. For Phil’s part, he thought Dan had never been more beautiful than when he was sat in the rocking chair in the nursery with the baby at his breast, murmuring to them in a soft, loving tone.

 

Phil had known all his life that he wanted this: settling down with someone he loved, having a child, and raising them together. None of his dreaming could have ever prepared him for the reality of it, though. 

 

For one thing, he’d never expected his feelings about Dan to shift so radically. He’d loved Dan before, more than he’d ever really found the words to properly say. But every time he saw Dan holding their child, bathing them, rubbing noses with them, kissing their cheek, feeding them, loving them—sometimes it felt like he was watching a stranger. How could the sarcastic, insecure teenager he’d he’d fallen in love with all those years ago have grown into this gentle, nurturing father? In a way, he was having to relearn who Dan was, though every minute of the learning was a joy.

 

Likewise, he was having to rediscover himself. Sometimes, on especially weary nights, he would have dreams about waking up and discovering that the baby had never been born. It would all have been a dream, and his bed would be empty, no Dan passed out beside him in exhaustion. Mixed in with the profound sense of loss, there would always be a tiny bit of relief. Just a little bit of, “Oh, so I can get back to my normal life now.” He felt guilty about it, every time he woke up. That wasn’t what he _really_ felt, right? During his waking hours, when he was very aware of how real Dan and the baby were, he felt a jumble of all kinds of emotions: happiness, weariness, excitement, frustration, and overwhelming love. Never once did the thought cross his mind that he wanted to go back to how things were before Dan’s pregnancy. So why did his brain dredge up that scenario in his dreams time and time again? And why did he always feel that little bit of relief when it happened?

 

Worried, he’d finally brought it up to his mum the other day during one of Dan and the baby’s naps.

 

“Does it mean something?” he’d asked, once he’d described the dreams to her. “I don’t think that’s what I really want, but…what if, secretly, deep down I do?”

 

She’d chuckled. That had surprised him. He hadn’t thought this was a laughing matter at all.

 

“Maybe you do,” she’d said, shocking him further. “Or at least, some small part of you. Being a parent, especially the parent of a newborn, is very difficult, isn’t it?”

 

He’d frowned, gazing out the window of the office where he’d been trying to work when his anxious thoughts had prompted him to reach out to her at last.

 

“Well, yeah, it is difficult…exhausting too, but I love my baby, with all my heart.”

 

“Of course you do,” his mum had said. “But you also feel exhausted and like they’re causing you a lot of difficulty. No, no, wait. Just listen. You have to accept the negative things you’re feeling, love. They’re a part of parenthood too. For the rest of your life, your child is going to cause you to feel all kinds of negative things: fear and anger and disappointment, and probably much more. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them. In fact, those feelings are usually caused precisely because you love your child so much. If you haven’t been letting yourself really accept those feelings during the day, then maybe your brain is trying to explore them while you’re asleep.”

 

Phil’s frown deepened. Was that what was going on? Did he just need to, like, let himself process his feelings more?

 

“Have you talked to Dan about it?” his mum asked then. “I bet he’s feeling a lot of the same things you are.”

 

“Well, no,” Phil muttered. “I didn’t want to, you know, burden him.”

 

“Burden him, Phil,” she urged. “And let him unburden himself on you too. You’re both in this together, for the rest of your lives. You’re meant to lean on one another when things get difficult.”

 

He thought of her words again now as he sat in the same office chair waiting for today’s gaming video to finish uploading. Things had been so hectic since their conversation that he hadn’t found a good moment to sit and talk with Dan as she’d suggested. It seemed that the Omega was always sleeping or feeding the baby or otherwise taking care of them or saying he needed to get out of the house for a little while and slipping away for a couple of hours.

 

Phil didn’t begrudge him those moments of escape. He took his own occasional mental health walks around the neighborhood or trips down to the shops, usually when Dan and the baby were napping and Omega Howell was around to see to them if needed.

 

A nearby cry split across Phil’s thoughts, and he hopped up at once from the desk to lift little Oscar out of their portable cot. When Dan had lain down for a nap upstairs, Phil had brought the baby downstairs with him so that he could see to their next feeding.

 

“Is it lunchtime, little bit?” he cooed as he jiggled them in the crook of his arm and hurried toward the kitchen. Once there, he pulled a bottle of milk from the refrigerator and set about warming it up under warm water from the tap. The baby continued their fussing, though they seemed somewhat soothed by his movements and his constant stream of mindless talk. “I bet this milk is going to taste so good and then you’ll feel all full and happy and sleepy again.”

 

They were fussing rather more loudly by the time the bottle was warm enough for them to take. Phil just hoped that their noises weren’t making it upstairs to wake Dan from his much-needed nap.

 

Finally, the bottle was ready, so Phil carried Laurie into the living room and settled with them propped up against his legs on the sofa. Then he went about the painstaking task of getting them to take the bottle’s nipple. They were still somewhat skeptical of it and clearly preferred feeding directly from the source. However, they were hungry enough that once they figured out that there was food nearby, they sucked the nipple in and began drinking hungrily.

 

“There you go,” Phil murmured. “You’re doing such a good job, letting me feed you like this so that your Omega dad can have his rest. I know it’s not your fault you keep waking him up in the middle of the night, but it does make him tired.”

 

The baby opened their blue eyes and stared up at him, going a bit cross-eyed as they tried hard to focus their immature eyes on his face.

 

“Hi,” he grinned, leaning further forward to make it easier for them to see him. “It’s me, Phil, your Beta dad.”

 

He saw the moment when their eyes finally focused on him and went a little wider. Then their lips curled up around the nipple in what was unmistakably a smile. Phil felt his heart clench.

 

“Hello, love,” he said. “It makes me happy to see you too.”

 

They moved their arms and legs a bit, clearly excited, and he couldn’t help but laugh. No, there was no way he could ever wish to go back to his life before this.

 

Once they were finished with their bottle a good twenty minutes later, Phil checked and changed their nappy and then, since they were still good and awake, decided to see if they would enjoy a little gentle playtime.

 

He carried them upstairs, admonishing them to stay quiet so as not to bother their other dad, and retrieved a couple of toys and books from the nursery. Then he brought them back downstairs and laid baby and toys both out on a blanket on the rug. He picked up one of the toys, which happened to be the rabbit stuffy that Cornelia had given them all those weeks ago, and held it up in front of little Willow’s face.

 

“Do you see this?” he asked. They stared, going through the slow process of focusing again. He tilted the rabbit’s face back and forth in front of their eyes a few times. “This is a rabbit. Isn’t it pretty? It’s got blue and pink and green and yellow on it. Your Aunt Cornelia gave this to you because she thinks you’re great and deserve cute stuffies.”

 

They gurgled and clenched their fists, and he took that as a positive response.

 

“Do you want to feel how soft the rabbit is?” he asked, and then lowered it and let the toy brush against one of the baby’s clenched fists. “It’s really soft, isn’t it?”

 

Their eyes opened a little wider and they jerked their head toward the side where he was holding the stuffy.

 

“Do you like your rabbit?” he asked. “I think it’s adorable, personally.”

 

Next, he pulled out one of the books, simply titled “Faces,” and showed the baby each brightly-colored animal or human face. Last of all, he showed them the mirrored front of the book and let them admire their own face for a minute.

 

“I know it isn’t fair to everyone else, but you’re actually the cutest baby in existence. Don’t tell all the other babies I said so, though. Their parents probably all tried to tell them that _they_ were the cutest.”

 

Their eyes were starting to look droopy by then, so he picked them up from the floor, swaddled them up in a fresh blanket, and cuddled them against his chest until they drifted off to sleep again.

 

Once he’d got them settled back in their cot, he checked the uploading video and saw that it was ready to post. He quickly made it public and then switched over to the tab where he had a tweet queued up and ready to go:

 

 

_NEW GAMING VIDEO! We try out FaceApp and transform into girls! Say hello to Danielle and Philippa_

 

 

He’d just finished crossposting on Tumblr and Facebook and was about to switch over to Dan’s accounts to retweet, reblog, and share his own posts when he heard footsteps in the corridor outside. He turned to find Dan stood in the office doorway, one side of his face creased with pillow lines, but otherwise looking far better-rested than Phil had seen him in weeks.

 

“Hey,” Phil said, swiveling all the way around in the office chair and offering the Omega a grin. Dan smiled slowly back, his eyelids still heavy with sleep, and then walked over to the portable cot set up in one corner of the office. Phil followed his movements, watching as he paused beside the cot and gazed down at the sleeping baby inside. It had taken Phil a few days to catch on to this particular pattern in Dan’s behavior. Anytime he’d been separated from the baby, even if only for a few minutes, he seemed almost compelled to check on them before doing anything else. Phil felt something similar—a constant awareness of where the baby was and who was with them at any given time—but from his observations of Dan’s behavior, he suspected that for the Omega it went deeper.

 

It was only after this ritual of checking the baby’s safety had been completed that Dan turned back to Phil, walking over and bending down to drop a kiss on his cheek.

 

It was nice. It was really nice actually, and Phil closed his eyes to savor the moment. The baby had (rightfully) taken up so much of their attention this past month, that it felt almost illicit having Dan focused entirely on him, even if only for a brief second.

 

“Posted the video, did you?” the Omega asked when he’d pulled away again. He held up one hand and waved the mobile he held in it. “Got the notif, and it woke me up.”

 

“Oops. Sorry about that,” Phil said, grimacing. “I didn’t think—“

 

“Don’t worry,” the Omega cut him off with a shake of the head. “I think I was already waking up anyway. I got, like, three other notifications before yours that didn’t even faze me.”

 

Phil nodded and then tilted his head toward the door.

 

“I’m pretty much finished in here, and Annette’s just gone down for a nap. Wanna—“

 

“Sure,” Dan said at once, turning toward the door again with a last glance over his shoulder for the baby. 

 

They made their way out to the living room—near enough to keep an ear on Eliot, but far enough that they wouldn’t have to worry about being too loud and waking them up. Phil brought them both glasses of Ribena from the kitchen and then, for the first time in ages, they just sat on the sofa together and watched TV. They had an entire month’s worth of shows to catch up, and Phil kind of doubted they were ever going to be caught up again.

 

“You know,” Dan said about five minutes into their second episode of _The Americans_ , “We could be in Singapore right now, if I hadn’t gone and got knocked up.”

 

Phil paused the show and turned to face Dan, who was slouched on the sofa in his usual comfy TV-watching pose. He’d actually put on jeans and a shirt for once instead of pajamas, which made Phil think that maybe he was starting to feel more himself again.

 

“We can still go to Singapore someday,” Phil pointed out, “and we can go as a family this time.”

 

One side of the Omega’s mouth twitched up in a smile, and he let his head loll toward Phil.

 

“That’s a very Phil way of looking at it.”

 

Phil raised his eyebrows.

 

“What other way would you expect me to look at it? I’m Phil, aren’t I?”

 

Dan shrugged and turned his head away again.

 

Phil let the question sit on his tongue for a moment before he voiced it.

 

“Do you wish we were in Singapore instead?”

 

Dan’s head whipped back toward him at once, eyebrows raised.

 

“Fuck no.”

 

A wave of relief washed through Phil. It was one thing for him to have little niggling doubts about parenthood. At the end of the day, he knew this was what he wanted out of life. But for Dan… Well, Dan hadn’t really planned on all of this, had he? There was always some part of Phil, usually buried deep down, that worried maybe Dan would change his mind. Maybe he would realize one day that he’d rushed into this whole thing, that he’d done it for the wrong reasons, that he’d never wanted to become a parent at all.

 

That “Fuck no” went a long way toward quieting those worries.

 

“Me neither,” he said, smiling and reaching a hand out to brush his fingers lightly over the back of Dan’s hand. He paused before continuing, “I’ve been having these dreams.”

 

Dan was still facing toward him, studying his face.

 

“What kind of dreams?” he asked.

 

“About…like, what if the baby had never been born, and our lives were just the same as they’d always been.”

 

Dan’s eyes widened a little.

 

“Nightmares?”

 

“Not exactly,” Phil mumbled, gaze dropping down to where his fingers had come to rest lightly on top of Dan’s hand. All the guilt was rushing back up into his throat again, making the next words more difficult to say. “How I feel in the dreams…it’s complicated, I guess. I feel really sad that the baby is gone and that you aren’t my mate anymore, but I also feel kind of…relieved. It’s like everything’s gone back to being simple and easy again.”

 

The Omega tilted his head to the side, a frown creeping up into his features.

 

“But that’s not how you really feel, right?”

 

Phil shook his head hard.

 

“Not at all. I talked to my mum about it, though, and she said maybe I wasn’t letting myself feel my negative feelings about the baby enough, so they were coming out in my dreams.” He paused again before looking up at Dan. “You know, all of this is really difficult sometimes, and I’m tired. Really tired.”

 

Dan let out a breath through his nose, kind of a cross between a huff and a snort.

 

“No kidding.”

 

“I love Willow so much, like so, so much, but sometimes they’re the most frustrating person in the whole world,” Phil continued. “I know they cry because it’s the only way they know how to communicate right now, but oh my god, sometimes it just makes me want to scream.”

 

“Especially when it’s in the middle of the night and I’m just getting into a nice REM cycle,” Dan groaned in agreement, shaking his head. “Like, please, couldn’t you have at least waited until I’d got one good dream out of the way.”

 

“And why do they _always_ poo right after I’ve changed their nappy?” Phil added.

 

“I know!” Dan cried, reaching up to rub a hand over his face. “It’s like, every time I check their nappy and it’s wet, I change it, and then a minute later I can smell the poop.”

 

“Why do they make so much poo?” Phil moaned. “I don’t poo that often, and I’m a fully-grown human.”

 

“Maybe they just hate us,” Dan said in a mock-serious tone. “Maybe they’re punishing us for not being cooler parents. Like, ‘I could have been Kim and Kanye’s baby, but I got stuck with you two losers.’”

 

Phil couldn’t help laughing at that.

 

“They smiled at me earlier,” he said, his chest filling with a warm glow at the memory. “When I was giving them their bottle, they looked right at me and smiled.”

 

Dan’s whole face lit up with an expression that completely belied all of his complaints.

 

“They can smile now?”

 

Phil nodded, his face breaking into a grin.

 

“It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.”

 

Dan sighed and flipped over his hand to grasp Phil’s inside it.

 

“I can’t wait until they smile at me,” he said. “Maybe next time I get to feed them.”

 

“I’m sure they will.” Phil accompanied his words with a squeeze of his hand around Dan’s fingers, and the Omega’s eyes dropped down to their hands before rising to Phil’s face again. His eyes had undergone the most wonderful transformation, from dull and weary to shining with excitement. The emotion inside them was contagious, spilling out into Phil, filling his whole body.

 

Dan leaned in suddenly, meeting Phil’s lips with his own, and this kiss was different from weary embraces they’d shared just before passing out over the past few weeks. It was fierce and full of the same burning energy he’d seen in Dan’s eyes just a moment before. He met it with his own fervor. After so many weeks, he was almost shocked when he felt Dan’s hand creep up his thigh and even more so when he felt his own body’s immediate response.

 

He wanted Dan, badly. Right now.

 

A moment later, he found himself being pushed down onto the sofa, with an eager Omega climbing on top of him. He felt knees planted either side of his hips and then a warm arse rubbing against his crotch.

 

It felt good, so good, and at the same time, something in the back of his mind was insisting that Dan was still recovering from giving birth, and maybe this wasn’t the best idea.

 

Fingers were tugging at his hair, and Dan’s lips had trailed down to his neck. He should say something, make sure Dan was really okay, but shit, Dan was still rubbing slowly back and forth across the front of his jeans, and he was already achingly hard.

 

He finally managed to muster a protest when Dan’s fingers found their way down to the button of his jeans.

 

“Wait,” he breathed, the word ruffling Dan’s curls. “Are you sure you’re ready for…or, wait, were you wanting to have sex? Or were you just going to—?”

 

“Suck you off?” the Omega finished in a purr against his neck. “Yeah, I was planning to stop there, but now that you’ve got me thinking about having you inside me again—“

 

Phil’s dick gave an excited twitch at the words, and he mentally scolded it for being overeager.

 

“Suck mine and I’ll suck yours,” he murmured into Dan’s hair.

 

“Fuck, yeah.” The Omega’s words were muffled by the fabric of Phil’s t-shirt, which he had his face pressed into as he kissed a hurried trail down Phil’s front.

 

And then there were hands undoing his jeans and yanking them down, boxers and all, too impatient to take the time to fully undress him, but he didn’t care. He was impatient too. It had been so long since either of them had _wanted_ like this.

 

Dan started with small, teasing kisses, faint flutters of lips against the head of his cock, light nibbles at his foreskin, a tug of moist skin against his stiff shaft. He groaned and jerked his hips up, needing more, already so turned on. With his head thrown back against the arm of the sofa, he groped blindly until his fingers found Dan’s hair, where they dug themselves in, yanking none-too-gently. He knew Dan liked that, liked being pushed and pulled and used during sex.

 

He was rewarded with a moan of satisfaction and the Omega’s tongue, darting out to swipe over the swollen head of his cock. He tried to spread his legs wider, give Dan more space to work in, but in his impatience, the Omega had left Phil’s jeans and boxers down around his knees, where they effectively restricted his movements. He whined and kicked a bit, trying to get them further off, but the Omega’s hands came up and gripped his hips, holding him firmly in place. He whined again, but the sound was choked off by a groan as Dan took the tip of his cock between his lips and gave it a long suck.

 

“Ahh, Dan, just…like that,” he breathed, closing his eyes and seeing stars as the Omega spread his lips and slid down further over him, enveloping the entire top half of his cock in slick warmth. “ _Fuck_.”

 

“Shhh,” Dan warned him, slipping off his cock and making him whimper at the loss. “Not too loud.”

 

“Oh, right,” Phil said, remembering that the baby was just in the next room. Though, really, if they’d managed to sleep through an entire episode of _The Americans_ , they were probably fine with a few shouted curse words.

 

He didn’t think much more about it after that because Dan’s mouth was back, feeling him out, lips brushing over his balls before sucking them inside, each one in turn, and then he was licking over Phil’s shaft again and swallowing him down, all the way to the base.

 

“Shhhhhh,” Phil moaned, holding in the dirty word that threatened to spill out. His fingers tightened in the Omega’s hair, and he opened his eyes to watch the way Dan’s head bobbed up and down between his legs as he fucked Phil’s cock with his mouth.

 

It wasn’t long before Phil felt the delicious tension pulling tighter in his abdomen, the pleasure coursing through him building to its inevitable peak.

 

“Close,” he breathed, releasing the fingers that had gripped Dan’s hair all this while to trail them down his cheek, down to the jaw stretched open over his erection.

 

The Omega pulled off for a moment to press a kiss against the head of his cock, but then he took him deep inside once more, tongue playing along the sensitive edge of his foreskin where it was folded back beneath the head. He closed his lips tight around the end of Phil’s cock again and sucked hard, pulling the hard member down, down inside his velvety hot mouth, and Phil was coming, his whole body clenching tight as the first spurts of cum spilled out onto Dan’s tongue. The Omega hummed in pleasure, continuing his sucking as the streams of cum filled his mouth, swallowing them down like they were his favorite flavor in the world.

 

He pulled off when Phil’s body went slack, spent, and laid his head against the Beta’s thigh, panting with his exertions. He tilted his head just enough to meet Phil’s eyes.

 

“Good?” he breathed, the faintest ghost of a smile playing around his swollen, pink lips.

 

Phil nodded, still catching his own breath. They lay like that, just taking each other in and listening to one another breathe until both of their heartrates had calmed down again.

 

“So,” Phil murmured after a while, “your turn now?”

 

Dan turned his eyes away and nodded, looking almost shy.

 

“Why don’t you sit on the edge of the sofa?” Phil suggested, sitting up and starting to pull his jeans and boxers back up into the proper place. Dan followed his lead, pushing himself up from his recumbent position and sitting back against the sofa cushions.

 

Phil stood, buttoned and zipped his jeans, and then knelt down between the Omega’s knees. He placed a gentle hand on either of Dan’s thighs and, softly caressing each one, looked up into his eyes.

 

“Is this okay?” he murmured, pausing to give the Omega’s thighs a squeeze before resuming his caresses.

 

“Yeah,” Dan whispered, gazing down at him with anxiety clear in his eyes.

 

“Are _you_ okay?” Phil asked, sitting back on his heels to get a better look at Dan’s face. “What are you worried about?”

 

He waited while the Omega chewed at his lower lip and his cheeks turned pink.

 

“Just,” he finally mumbled, “just, I want to leave my clothes on. Don’t, like, take off my shirt or anything, okay?"

 

Phil’s first instinct was to object, to reassure that he found his body beautiful, scars and all. Then he thought better of it. This was about making Dan feel good, and the first step in that was making him comfortable. This was their first time engaging in any kind of sexual activity after Dan’s body had undergone some pretty serious changes. It wasn’t the time to push him out of his comfort zone.

 

“Okay,” Phil agreed, bending down to press a kiss against the inside of one of Dan’s jean-clad thighs. Then, keeping his eyes locked on the Omega’s, he let his hands trail up his thighs, rubbing and soothing their way toward the flies of his jeans. He undid them slowly, watching Dan’s face for his reaction, giving him time to change his mind or to tell Phil to do things differently.

 

He was still soft when Phil pulled down his boxers to reveal the patch of dark, curly hair beneath them. Phil just smiled and gently grasped the warm, yielding flesh, tugging and squeezing lightly at it while he held Dan’s gaze up above.

 

His smile deepened when he felt Dan’s body responding to his touch, the flesh growing firmer, his small cock thickening and lengthening inside Phil’s grasp.

 

“Does that feel good?” he whispered, giving Dan another squeeze.

 

The Omega sucked in a breath and nodded.

 

“Good.”

 

He bent, tongue out, and never letting his eyes leave Dan’s, stroked the tip of his tongue over the tip of Dan’s dick. It tasted warm and salty and like Dan. He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath of his own, letting the Omega’s rich scent fill his nostrils. Here, between his legs, Dan’s scent was so strong that even Phil’s Beta nose could sense it.

 

He drew Dan in slowly, giving his half-hard member time to feel every inch of his lips sliding down to cover its full length. Then he just let him sit there in his mouth, sucking gently at brief intervals until Dan was fully hard and he could taste the first drizzle of precum leaking out onto his tongue.

 

Up above, Dan’s breathing had grown hard again, and he let out another small gasp as Phil lapped his tongue over the thick head of his cock. The Beta kept one hand at the Omega’s thigh, smoothing over and around it, reassuring as much he was teasing.

 

He sucked Dan back into his mouth again, harder this time, and he could smell the scent of the Omega’s arousal growing stronger. He guessed that the same hormones that had made him leak slick during pregnancy were still running through his veins, making him wet now. Just the thought of it was enough to make Phil’s own spent cock take notice again, but he told it to be quiet. It had had its turn.

 

Dan’s fingers found their way to the nape of his neck then, tickling over the short hairs there in a way that made goosebumps rise all over Phil’s body. He pulled off and glanced up at Dan’s face. The Omega was gazing down at him with an intensity that sent another shiver across Phil’s skin. The Beta turned his head to the side and dropped a kiss on the small strip of bare thigh there before returning his attention to the Omega’s cock.

 

This time, he sank down all the way to the base, sucking hard up and down the length while the Omega gasped and clutched at the back of his head. A moment later, he heard Dan let out a choked cry, and then he felt warm, sticky cum pooling on his tongue while the stiff cock pulsed between his lips.

 

He swallowed it all, tilting his head back to watch Dan’s face as the pleasure flowed through him and then slowly ebbed away. He looked more relaxed than Phil could remember seeing him for months now. A sigh escaped his nose and small smile rose to curl his lips as he let the Omega’s softening cock slip from between his lips.

 

Afterward, he did Dan’s jeans back up for him and then the two of them lay on the sofa together, barely fitting but not caring because the tight space meant they had to squeeze their bodies in close. Phil lay with his back pressed against Dan’s front, and the Omega maneuvered his arms around the Beta’s body, cradling him loosely.

 

“Thank you,” Phil heard Dan murmur after a while.

 

“For what?” His own voice sounded lazy and sleepy, but not in the bone-weary way he’d grown used to over these past sleepless weeks. It was a contented sort of sleepiness.

 

“For everything,” Dan said. “For this whole, amazing life I have…that we have, together. I wouldn’t have any of this without you.”

 

Phil snuggled in closer to Dan’s warmth, reveling in the baby-induced softness of his body.

 

“Thank you, too, then,” Phil murmured, closing his eyes and settling in. “For everything.”

 

Hours later, Omega Howell found them there, cuddled together in an awkward tangle of long limbs and fast asleep on the living room sofa.


	24. Clear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's grandparents hold a party for the new baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for this going up so late. I had a bit of a rough weekend, and then the chapter ended up running longer than originally planned. However, we're about two chapters out from the end now. Please look forward to it! Next chapter on Saturday. <3
> 
> As always, check my Twitter @phan_anonfics for any writing updates!

Dan was pretty sure his entire family was judging him. He and Phil had arrived at the party more than an hour late, despite the fact that they were the guests of honor and had been supposed to arrive an entire hour _before_ the party was scheduled to start. As they finally walked through the door of his grandparents’ house holding a screaming baby and both spouting apologies, they were met by a chorus of greetings and more than one expression of relief.

 

Everything had been fine the evening before. Eliot had had their normal feed at 9:00 PM, followed by playtime and then sleep, and Dan and Phil had both gone to bed shortly after, knowing they were going to need as much rest as they could get to make it through the next day. Unfortunately, they’d barely been asleep an hour when the baby woke again, demanding another feed. He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised. They’d been eating a lot more these past couple of weeks, which their health visitor and every other source he consulted said put them right on track for normal infant development.

 

It had taken a lot to get them back to sleep, but then they’d slept for a solid four hours, waking again shortly before 4:00 AM for another night feed. Dan and Phil had dropped off to sleep again almost the moment Dan had settled Willow once more in their cot, but by then all three of them were off their normal schedule. They’d ended up sleeping late, with the baby not waking for their next meal until nearly 10:00 in the morning. By the time they’d been fed and changed and dressed and Dan and Phil had dressed and fed themselves, they were already a full hour behind schedule for the day.

 

Even so, they might have been able to squeak in just in time for the beginning of the party if not for a sudden case of leaky nappy that necessitated a change of clothes for Oscar and Phil both. 

 

“Oh my god, the smell,” Dan had groaned as he bundled off the soiled clothes straight to the washing machine.

 

“Maybe we should just burn the lot. Not sure if they’ll ever be usable again,” Phil had muttered, covering his nose with one hand while he bounced a still-upset baby in the opposite arm. Apparently, they hadn’t much liked the experience of being covered in their poo, for which Dan really couldn’t blame them.

 

“No time to build a fire,” Dan had returned as he started the washing cycle. “Washing machine’s much quicker.”

 

Phil had grunted his agreement, and then they’d seen about getting their three-person show on the road again. This was only their third time taking the baby out in public. The first time had been two days after their birth when they’d taken them to Dr. Paul’s office for their first full check-up. The second time had been three days ago, when they’d decided to do a dry run of today so they could figure out how exactly one went about getting a newborn baby onto a train. It had been a learning experience, but they’d managed, riding the tube a few stops further into London and taking the baby for a stroll around a small park before completing the entire trip in reverse.

 

Today, however, had been nothing like three days ago. For one thing, it was a Sunday, which meant that there were all kinds of weekend travelers trying to get to and from places by tube or by train. For another, today had the added stress of them already running embarrassingly late. Dan and Phil had both been on edge as they’d navigated their way up from the tube tunnels and toward the train platforms at Waterloo Station. The now-sleeping baby had been nestled close to Dan’s chest in a carrier while Phil had taken charge of their bag.

 

Of course, that would be the moment when they stumbled across a group of their fans. The group’s presence had first been heralded by a muffled shriek that was quickly followed by a chorus of answering shrieks. Dan, who had been doing this YouTube thing for a while now, had recognized the call of his people almost at once.

 

He'd nudged Phil with his elbow to give him a heads up.

 

“Think we’ve been spotted,” he’d muttered out of the side of his mouth. Out of the corner of one eye, he’d seen Phil’s head jerk to the side, but they’d both continued their hurried progress toward the trains. They’d had less than ten minutes to make the next one, and if they missed it, that’d set their schedule back another quarter of an hour.

 

“Um, excuse me,” Dan had heard from off to his right. Hiding a sigh, he’d turned toward the tentative voice. Beside him, Phil had come to a reluctant stop as well.

 

“Hello,” Dan had said, conjuring a smile. He’d found himself faced with a group of four twenty-somethings, one of whom had stepped forward a little ways from the rest. They were the one who had spoken.

 

“Would you mind if we took a picture with you?” they’d asked, voice wavering with obvious nerves. “We’re all massive fans of yours.”

 

“Sure,” Phil had piped up, taking charge. Dan had found that his arms had come up to circle around the carrier, hugging the baby even closer to him. It was silly, of course, but his instincts had told him he must be vigilant about the baby’s safety around outsiders.

 

It had taken only a few seconds for all of them to bunch up into a group and snap a selfie with Dan, Phil, and the baby. Of course, with Laurie bundled close against Dan’s chest, there had been no fear of them appearing as anything other than the top of a mostly-bald head in the picture. 

 

When the picture-taking had finished, Dan had seen the group’s appointed leader, a dark-haired Beta, gearing up to say something else, but he’d spoken up first.

 

“I’m sorry, but we are in a bit of a hurry today. It was lovely meeting you all, though,” he’d said, taking a step back from them to emphasize his point. Phil had immediately followed suit.

 

“Oh, yeah, of course,” the young Beta had said, and behind them their friends had all chimed in with their agreement. “Thank you for, uh, you know, stopping and the picture and everything.”

 

“No problem,” Phil had said with his professional grin. “Bye!”

 

They’d made their train with a full five minutes to spare, and as they’d searched through the crowded carriages for a pair of empty seats, Dan had been grateful that finally something had gone right today. They’d just walked past a couple of seats occupied by a middle-aged Alpha and their luggage, when the Alpha had turned and called out to them.

 

“Hey, there! You two, with the baby.”

 

They had both paused and turned toward the Alpha in unison.

 

“Here, you can have this seat,” they had said, hauling up their huge duffel bag and shuffling out into the aisle.

 

“That’s very kind of you, but I’m sure—“ Dan had begun, but they’d shaken their head and gestured toward the seat.

 

“No, I insist,” they'd said. “I can find somewhere else.”

 

Dan and Phil had both thanked them profusely and then settled themselves into the vacated seats. The air had still smelled faintly of Alpha, and Dan had felt his body setting itself on high alert. He’d drawn several deep breaths, consciously reminding his instincts that they had nothing to fear. The Alpha had been friendly, and in any case they were gone now. They were no threat to either Dan or his baby. 

 

It was weird how much more heightened his Omega instincts had grown since his pregnancy. He’d never worried too much before about how being an Omega might affect the way he thought and acted. It was 2017. Whatever ingrained biological responses remained within humans, they knew perfectly well how to control them. Sure some instincts were stronger than others, such as the overwhelming urge to mate during heat or rut, but even that could be controlled with suppressants or even just good old self-restraint. They weren’t animals for christ’s sake.

 

He wondered now just how true that really was. After all, he’d believed all his procreative urges to be fully under his command, but the baby fast asleep on his chest clearly proved otherwise. Heat suppressants or no, his body had still found a way to pass on his genes. 

 

And now that the baby was here, it seemed that far more of his brain capacity was taken up by worrying about meeting their needs and keeping them safe than was strictly necessary. Logically, he knew that strangers in public places posed a very low threat to Annette’s safety, butthe compulsion to protect had grown tenfold the moment he took them outside the house.

 

“How are they?” Phil had asked as he sat down from putting their baby bag in the overhead rack.

 

Dan had glanced down at the tiny face with its cheek squished against his chest. They hadn’t a clue that they’d just had a photoshoot with some of their dads’ fans or that they were on their way to meet some of their family members for the first time. They were sleeping peacefully through it all.

 

“Fast asleep,” Dan had said and then let out a huge, involuntary yawn. He’d been awake barely two hours and already felt exhausted.

 

“Go on and have a nap,” Phil had smiled, settling back against the cushy seat. “We’ve got some time.”

 

Dan hadn’t required any further persuasion. He’d already learned that new parent knack of falling asleep at a moment’s notice (mostly a function of how much missed sleep he had to make up for). With a sleepy smile tossed in Phil’s direction, he'd closed his eyes and was out at once.

 

He’d managed to sleep all the way to Wokingham, and even more importantly, the baby had slept the whole way there as well. They hadn’t woken up until the taxi was a few minutes out from his grandparents’ house, and Dan had managed to keep them more or less calm with soothing words and a pacifier until they’d finally arrived.

 

Of course, the baby had chosen the moment they walked in the door to finally let loose, spitting out the pacifier and howling out a hungry squall. If all eyes hadn’t already been on them, Dan felt sure that every head in the household would have snapped their way.

 

“Daniel!” came his Nana’s voice, and he turned to see her approaching from the direction of the kitchen. She was a tall, easy-going Omega, not unlike Dan himself. She came to a stop a few steps from him and peered down at the bawling bundle in his arms. “I’m so glad you made it. Is it their feeding time?”

 

“Yes, Nana,” he said, bouncing the baby a little and feeling his breasts throb with the milk that the baby could probably smell. “Is there somewhere I could—?”

 

“Oh, of course, of course, dear,” she said, gesturing back the way she’d come with a tilt of her head. “And, Philip, if you’ll come along with us, I can point you toward the rest of the party.”

 

Dan spared a glance at Phil as they followed behind his Nana, and he could see just how much the Beta had drawn into himself. He’d met most of this side of Dan’s family for a few hours back at Christmas, but that still didn’t make them much more than strangers. The plan had been that Dan would stick by him the entire time, but apparently that wasn’t going to happen.

 

“I’ll be back out in just a few minutes,” he whispered, hoping that his two aunts gossiping over two plates of snacks on the kitchen counter couldn’t hear.

 

Phil nodded and shot him a faint grin.

 

“I’m sure they won’t have managed to kill and eat me by the time you get back,” he murmured. Then he slid the baby bag off his shoulder and held it out toward Dan. “They’re just your family, Dan. I’ll be fine.”

 

Dan smiled back, shouldered the bag, and then left Phil behind as his Nana led him back toward one of the ground floor bedrooms.

 

“Can I get you anything? A drink maybe?” she asked as she helped him settle on the bed and then held the baby while he unstrapped the carrier. “Oh, you are a dear little thing,” she murmured as the baby screamed up at her. “I’m sure you’ll be entirely more charming once you’ve had your dinner."

 

“Thank you, Nana,” he said, taking the angry infant from her arms again now that the carrier had been discarded. “I’m fine for now.”

 

“Call if you change your mind,” she said, bending down to pat his cheek and then slipping from the room with a soft click of the door behind her.

 

Dan sighed with relief and yanked his shirt up and his nursing bra down and moved the baby into position as he settled himself back against the pillows on the bed. They found his nipple almost at once and latched on with a hungry suck. Dan sighed again, his whole body relaxing now that the baby had fallen quiet and the pressure in his left nipple was subsiding. 

 

He was able to look around now and get his bearings. He realized that his Nana had led him to one of his grandparents’ guest bedrooms. They were sort of posh, his grandparents, though he hated to admit it. Their house was huge compared even to the one Dan and Phil had shelled out for in London. He supposed real estate wasn’t at quite as much of premium here in Wokingham as it was in London, though.

 

He couldn’t help thinking of the last time he’d been here, at Christmas. Before this past year, it had become customary for his grandparents to come down to his parents’ or one of his aunts and uncles’ houses for holiday gatherings. This past Christmas had been one of the first times in years that he’d come here to his grandparents’ house, and sitting here now, he couldn’t help but be reminded of the reason for that change.

 

For the first time all day, he let himself think about his Alpha Mum.

 

She must already be here, somewhere, as late as they’d arrived. He’d texted her a few times since their meeting in January, mostly updates about the baby. He’d sent her a couple of pictures after the birth, and she’d sent replies gushing about how adorable the baby was and how she couldn’t wait to meet them.

 

There’d been no further mention of his and Phil’s unfitness to raise their own child, but he wasn’t convinced she’d had a change of heart. She’d just realized that saying such things wouldn’t get her any closer to her grandchild.

 

That was another reason Dan and Phil had planned to stay glued to one another’s side all day today—just in case, in the very, very unlikely case, that his Alpha Mum had any designs on Oscar, she’d have to go through the both of them.

 

It wasn’t like he really thought she was going to try to kidnap her grandchild from the middle of a party in their honor. For one thing, there was absolutely no way she’d ever get away with it, but for another, he honestly didn’t think she wanted to. What she really wanted most of all, he thought, was to feel like the Alpha of the family again, to have a say in his and Adrian and now the baby’s lives. She wanted control.

 

Adrian had been to see her about a week ago. He’d put it off for a long time, always coming up with excuses not to do it and even backing out of a couple of planned meetings. Dan certainly hadn’t pushed him and neither had their Omega mum. They could both understand his reluctance very well.

 

But he’d finally made it out here to visit her. They’d met up on a Saturday, for lunch just like Dan had. When he’d come home again, he’d shut himself up in his makeshift room in the office and hadn’t come out again until dinner time.

 

Dan had tracked him down later that evening, once the baby had been fed and put to bed.

 

“Hey,” Dan had said with a faint knock on the office door. It hadn’t been closed, and he could clearly see Adrian sprawled out on the futon with his earbuds in his ears and a book open in front of him.

 

He’d glanced up, stared at Dan for a moment, and then with a grudging sigh, had pulled his earbuds out.

 

“Hey,” he’d said back. “I guess you want to know what Mum said.”

 

Dan had shrugged and picked his way across the clothes-strewn floor to the desk chair. Adrian was usually pretty tidy. It was a sign of how much stress he’d been under planning this meeting with their Alpha Mum that he’d let the room reach even this mild level of mess.

 

“I thought you’d like to talk about it,” Dan had corrected, taking a seat and swiveling around to face his brother. “Would you?”

 

He’d pushed himself up into a sitting position then, leaning back against the wall and pulling his knees up under his chin. 

 

“I guess,” he’d sighed. “There isn’t much to talk about. She said she thought I’d be better off living there with her. I told her not in a million years.” He’d shrugged and stared down at his sock-covered toes.

 

“She wants you to move home?” Dan had asked, though on reflection, he'd supposed it made sense. He remembered how disheveled and tired she’d looked last time he’d seen her. She must be lonely, especially after so long living with multiple other people in the house. Dan hadn’t lived there in years, and now that the divorce was finalized, there was no way his Omega mum was moving in again. Adrian was really her best shot at getting any part of her family back.

 

Adrian had sat still for a while and then shifted around a bit before answering.

 

“She tried to tell me all this crap about how it must be hard for me to concentrate on my studies living in a house with a newborn baby,” he mumbled. “And I mean, yeah, sometimes Laurie wakes me up in the night, but not that often. And I mean, I’m usually awake anyway. And I mean, I really like getting to be here for this part of their life. I’ve never been around a baby before. It’s…kind of amazing.”

 

Dan had had to swallow hard before he’d been able to summon his voice again.

 

“You like living here with us?”

 

His brother had snorted and then looked up at him with a sardonic twinkle in his eyes.

 

“It’s got its downsides. I’ll be the first to admit that.” He’d let his eyes make a circuit around the room, and Dan had followed his gaze. Yeah, it must rather suck being a twenty-year-old uni student and living out of your older brother’s office. “But, yeah, for now at least, I don’t really see myself living anywhere else.”

 

Dan had considered that for a moment, studying his brother.

 

“We could just make this your room, you know,” he’d said finally. “We could move all of this out and make the dining room our office for now.”

 

His brother’s whole demeanor had changed at that. He’d sat up straighter, his shoulders no longer slumping, and his whole face had brightened.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, really,” Dan had said. “I’ll talk to Phil about it.”

 

It had taken them another couple of days to get around to moving everything (and, honestly, most of the moving had been done by Adrian and their Omega mum), but now the former office was officially Adrian’s room, and the dining room had been transformed into their new editing/gaming video space.

 

He’d been to see Adrian in his new room yesterday afternoon, when Willow had been down for their afternoon nap.

 

“Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to come to the party with us?” he’d asked when Adrian had let him into the newly-redecorated space. “I’m sure Nana and Papa would be happy to see you again.”

 

His brother had been seated in his desk chair (newly bought from Ikea out of his own savings), while Dan perched on the edge of the futon, their positions switched from their conversation of a week ago.

 

“If _she_ wasn’t going to be there, I might,” Adrian had stated flatly, tapping a pencil against an open notebook. His finals for the semester weren’t too far off, so he’d been spending a lot more time at home studying rather than off somewhere with his friends or Rachel. It had sent all kinds of funny feelings through Dan’s chest, seeing that, a strange mix of pride and regret. Dan had always been the good student in the family, the one bringing home all the A’s and A stars. Yet here his little brother was, diligently working his way much farther through university than Dan had ever got. “I don’t think you want us getting into it again in the middle of your baby’s party.”

 

“Again?” Dan had asked, wrinkling his brow. “Did you fight with her when you saw her last weekend?”

 

The Alpha’s eyes had darted away from his then, an obvious tell. Dan had raised an eyebrow.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

 

“I did,” Adrian had muttered, still not looking at him. “I told you she tried to tell me a load of crap, and I told her I wasn’t going back.”

 

“By ‘told her’ do you mean yelled at her in the middle of a restaurant?”

 

“Don’t act all high and mighty,” his brother had growled, turning an angry stare on him. “Like you haven’t had your fair share of scenes with her.”

 

“Adrian,” Dan had groaned. “I’m not judging or anything. As far as I’m concerned, she deserves to be yelled at. I just thought maybe we’d reached a place where we could be honest with each other about these kinds of things. You know, mature adult conversations and all that.”

 

His brother’s eyes had gone wide then.

 

“You think I’m an adult?” 

 

That had drawn a laugh from Dan.

 

“You think you aren’t?” he’d countered.

 

Adrian had needed a minute to ponder that in silence, and in the end, he’d never answered the question.

 

“Yeah, I yelled at her in the middle of a restaurant,” he’d muttered finally. “But she was spouting all this utter bullshit about how a child needs their parent’s guidance and that she wanted another chance.” He’d paused to make a sneer of disgust. “So I told her to go fuck herself.”

 

Dan had half wanted to sigh and half wanted to give his brother a high five. Maybe Adrian still had a long way to go in terms of handling things calmly and maturely, but on the other hand, maybe his Alpha Mum just needed to be told to go fuck herself sometimes. At the very least, they had both learned to stand up to her bullshit.

 

He’d thought a lot about what Adrian had said last night, turning it over in his mind as they’d sat through dinner and as he’d worked to get the baby ready for their early bedtime. That’s when he’d finally come to his conclusion about what his Alpha Mum really wanted. She’d told Adrian she wanted him home, not because she wanted his companionship but because she thought he needed her. She’d said much the same to Dan, both about himself and the baby—that they needed her. It wasn’t so surprising he guessed, considering just how much stock she put into this whole Alpha of the Family nonsense. Her entire identity was founded on the idea that her family depended on her wisdom and guidance, and here they all were proving her wrong every day they survived just fine on their own.

 

He almost felt for her. He couldn’t imagine what kind of identity crisis she must be undergoing right now, and it wasn’t like it was entirely her fault. She’d been raised that way, in a society that had done very little to challenge her to believe any differently.

 

Well, she was being challenged now. He had sympathy for how difficult that must be at her stage of life but none for how badly she’d been handling it so far.

 

It took about twenty minutes to get the baby fully fed and winded, during which time his Nana had sneaked back for a couple of checks to make sure he didn’t want that drink after all, just a glass of water maybe? He was glad for her attention but really wished it had been Phil instead. He wondered how the Beta was getting on with his Alpha Mum’s family. He hoped things were going well.

 

When he finally emerged from the back bedroom, he was almost immediately accosted by his two aunts, both of whom were very determined to get a look at their grand-nebling.

 

“Oh, look at those chubby cheeks,” his Aunt Helen, another tall, broad-shouldered Omega, crooned, reaching down to stroke the baby’s pink cheek. They were wide awake at the moment, having settled into a routine of being active right after daytime feedings.

 

“And those pretty blue eyes,” his Aunt Laura agreed. She was his Alpha Uncle’s Omega wife and was tiny compared to the rest of them. “Just like their Beta dad’s, I’ll bet,” she said, casting Dan a cheeky grin.

 

“The midwife said they might change,” he told her with an answering smile. “But I’m hoping they stay.”

 

He let each of them hold the baby for a few minutes but then begged off, explaining that the rest of the family had already been waiting for too long to meet their newest member.

 

When he stepped into the parlor, where the main party was going on, he was immediately greeted by a chorus of happy voices. However, his eyes first sought out Phil, who was standing in a far corner conversing with a strange Beta dressed in a flowery blue dress. Dan frowned when he saw them. Wasn’t this gathering supposed to be family only?

 

Phil looked up too, when he heard everyone greeting Dan, and to Dan’s relief, he excused himself from his conversation and made his way over to the Omega’s side at once.

 

“Hello, Eliot,” he cooed to the baby when he’d reached them. “Want me to take over for a bit so you can talk to everyone?”

 

“Okay,” Dan said, handing the baby over. They made a gurgling noise and then a small squeal as they looked up into their Beta dad’s face. “But stick beside me, okay?”

 

Phil darted him a sharp glance that then flashed over toward the strange Beta in the corner before settling on the baby.

 

“Yeah,” he said, pausing for a moment, before adding. “There’s something you should know, Dan."

 

Dan’s senses were suddenly on high alert, and he couldn’t help looking over at the unfamiliar Beta. A jolt of unpleasant surprise shot through him when he saw his Alpha Mum step out of a nearby corridor and make her way over to the stranger. When she reached them, she placed a hand on their elbow, the briefest of touches but enough for Dan to figure out who she must be.

 

Anger flared suddenly bright and hot inside his chest. Really? Had she really brought _her_ to Dan’s party? The very Beta she’d been cheating on his Omega mum with all these months?

 

Though, his more rational mind pointed out a moment later, it wasn’t really cheating now that his parents were divorced, was it?

 

And Phil had been talking to her? He shot a glance sideways at his mate, who was biting his lip as he watched the realization dawn in Dan’s expression. How had that happened? Did Phil not know who she was—? But, no, that sharp look he’d sent her direction made it very clear he knew just how Dan would feel about her presence here.

 

His Alpha Mum had to know that too. God, he was _seething_. How fucking dare she do something like this? Showing off her fucking _mistress_ at a family gathering?

 

He suddenly had so much more sympathy for Adrian yelling at her to go fuck herself in the middle of an Indian food place.

 

“Dan?” Phil’s whisper pulled him back from his furious musings.

 

“Yeah, right,” he muttered under his breath. “Thanks for the warning. Think I’ve got it now.”

 

Phil’s forehead wrinkled just the tiniest bit, not enough for anyone else to notice but enough for Dan to read the question there.

 

He shook his head.

 

“Party,” he whispered, and Phil nodded. They both turned away and began making their circuit of the room.

 

It took every ounce of self-control he had in him to wrench his attention back to the rest of his family and their questions about his pregnancy, the birth, and the baby. It was almost like he could _feel_ his Alpha Mum and her…whatever she considered her to be now…slowly working their way across the room toward Dan, Phil, and the baby.

 

He had no idea what he would say to them when they got here. As much as he might want to scream a few choice curse words in his Mum’s direction, he wasn’t his brother. He knew that, cathartic as the action might be, it wouldn’t actually get them anywhere or improve the situation.

 

What he finally settled on was taking matters into his own hands. He gave Phil’s elbow a squeeze and then murmured into his ear to keep an eye on the baby because he was going to have a chat with his Mum. Phil studied his face for a moment before responding with a grim nod.

 

Then Dan turned and stalked straight over to where his Alpha Mum and the Beta were chatting with his grandfather.

 

“Dan!” his Papa crowed upon seeing him. He was a sturdy, elderly Alpha, and Dan regretted that he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to give him the kind of greeting he would have liked.

 

“Good to see you, Papa,” he said, bending down to where the Alpha was seated and giving him a brief, warm hug. “I’m just going to speak to my Mum for a moment, but then I’d like to catch up.”

 

He didn’t miss the look his grandfather shot toward his daughter then, and he wondered whether the rest of his family were just an incensed as he was by his Alpha Mum bringing her lover with her to a family function.

 

There was no time to ponder it now, though. Instead, he turned to his mother, ignoring the Beta at her side and jerked his chin toward the corridor he’d seen her emerge from earlier. It led toward the stairwell and another guest bedroom where he knew they could have a private conversation.

 

“A word,” he said and then didn’t wait for her to respond before twirling on his heel and marching off in that direction.

 

He heard her following behind him. He also heard the hush that had momentarily fallen across the party and cringed at the thought that, despite his best efforts, he was causing a bit of a scene. Ah, well. There was nothing to be done about it now.

 

“Dan,” she said the moment they were alone together, but he cut her off.

 

“You need to go,” he snapped, whirling on her. He turned just in time to catch her reaction to that, a visible recoil as though he’d attempted to strike her. “I don’t want you or _her_ here.”

 

She blinked at him, uncomprehending, for a moment before he saw her own anger rise into her eyes.

 

“She’s my girlfriend, Dan,” she spit out. “I’m not allowed to bring her out with me just because you don’t approve? I’m trying to make things work with her, and that’s not going to work if I hide her away like some shameful secret. I’d _think_ you of all people should understand that.”

 

He was shocked speechless for a moment. Then all of his fury came spewing out of him.

 

“No. No, don’t you even _dare_ compare your relationship to mine and Phil’s,” he seethed. “Neither of us has ever fucking destroyed an entire _family_ just to get our rocks off—“

 

“I wasn’t just getting my r—“

 

“And,” he raised his voice over her objection, “you don’t have to hide her away in secret to know better than to bring her _here_. This party is supposed to be about introducing my baby to the family, not you showing off your god damned mistress—“

 

“I’m not showing her off. I just wanted you to meet her is all—“

 

“Then you could have arranged a separate meeting,” he gritted out, unrelenting. “You could have asked me if I was okay with your bringing her, or at the very least granted me the courtesy of warning me that she would be here so I had a chance to prepare myself.”

 

The guilty look that crept into her eyes at that was all the answer he needed.

 

“But you knew I wouldn’t want her here, right?” he continued. “You knew that if I had any advance warning, I would try to stop you doing it. So you thought you’d just spring her on me without giving me a chance to disapprove. Well, fuck you. You know that? Fuck you for everything you’ve ever done to this family.”

 

Her whole face had gone ashen, and he could see her mouth working, trembling with the words she was trying to get out. He didn’t care how angry he’d made her. She deserved this. And who cared if he was causing a scene in front of her whole family. They deserved it too. Any one of them could have texted him or taken him aside and given him some warning. But they hadn’t, so they’d had as much of a hand in creating this situation as she had.

 

“You should leave now,” he said again, his voice barely controlled.

 

She stood there, chest heaving, for a moment, and then she finally got out what she’d been trying to stay.

 

“She’s pregnant, Dan.” She’d drawn herself up to her full height and was gazing down at him with a determined light in her eyes. “We didn’t… It wasn’t planned, but we’re expecting. And I think I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

 

Dan’s whole body had frozen, and then he felt almost faint. His knees went weak, and he found himself sitting down hard on the bed behind him.

 

“You…what?”

 

“Maybe you’re right and this wasn’t the best way to tell you. I… Yes, I should have thought things through a little better,” she conceded, and he could hear in her voice just how much it was costing her to do so. “I didn’t want you to reject her before you’d even had a chance to meet her, and…maybe it was wrong to try to force you into this.”

 

“Yeah,” Dan spat out. “Just maybe.”

 

“Please,” she begged, and oh hell, he felt a pang in his chest at the desperate tone of her voice. “I’m not doing this for me or even for her. I know you hate me, you and Adrian both. I don’t really blame you for that, but… You’re going to have a new sibling soon, and I want you to be a part of their life. Both of you.”

 

Dan’s head was spinning. What the fuck? What the fuck was even going on?

 

His brain latched onto the one thing he could understand at the moment.

 

“Adrian,” he repeated. “Did he…? Did you tell him about this last weekend?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“No,” she said. “He didn’t seem very…receptive when I spoke to him.”

 

He thought back to Adrian’s description of the conversation, and something clicked into place. _She tried to tell me all this crap about how it must be hard for me to concentrate on my studies living in a house with a newborn baby_ , he’d said. And, _she was spouting all this utter bullshit about how a child needs their parent’s guidance and that she wanted another chance._ It was suddenly crystal clear to him just how Adrian and their Mum had got their wires crossed. He could almost laugh, picturing it: his Alpha Mum sitting there, trying to ask Adrian to move back home and help out with his younger sibling, trying to prepare him for the shocking news that he was going to be an older brother. And Adrian had responded by telling her to go fuck herself.

 

Not like she had anyone but herself to blame.

 

“Why didn’t you tell _me_ then?” he demanded, shoving those thoughts away. “You could’ve called or sent an email or… _anything_ other than this.”

 

She just stared at him for a while, and he hated how clearly he could read her emotions in her face. Her expression was so full of sorrow and pleading.

 

“I thought…if you met her and…and saw that she was an actual _person_ instead of just this idea…that you could, I don’t know, accept her more easily? At least…not just reject her outright…” Her words trailed off into nothing as she took in his furious expression.

 

Dan had to look away from her then. The emotion in her eyes was just too raw. He shook his head, trying to untangle everything that was happening inside of it. Anger, confusion, an almost vindictive glee at how many of her own words she was going to have to eat ( _Who’s the irresponsible one now?_ he couldn’t help thinking)…excitement—

 

He was going to have a new sibling.

 

That thought rose crystal clear to the forefront of his mind. _Fuck_. He was going to be an older brother again. And Anette was going to have an aunt or uncle who was less than a year younger than them. A bubble of laughter rose inside him at the ridiculousness of the concept, but he pushed it back down.

 

His Alpha Mum was going to have another child to raise and shape to her will. Would they grow up to resent her just like he and Adrian had? He dared another glance at her, at the stricken look on her face. She must be asking herself that very same question right about now. What would their life be like being raised by her, this new, diminished version of her, and this unknown Beta? 

 

Didn’t Dan owe it to them, his own younger sibling, to do everything he could to make sure it was a good life?

 

“Fuck,” he breathed, running his hands over his face. “When… When’s the due date?”

 

He wasn’t looking at her, but he heard the tremor of relief that ran through her voice when she answered.

 

“October 22nd,” she said. “Julia’s in her sixteenth week now.”

 

Sixteen weeks. Dan cast his mind back, all the way back to last October, when he’d been in the sixteenth week of his own pregnancy. He wondered if she’d had bad morning sickness and, if so, whether it had cleared up by now. It should have, now that she was well into the second trimester.

 

He hated that he cared. He shouldn’t give a fuck about the woman who had helped destroy his parents’ marriage. 

 

But he did. Fuck it. He did care, not really for her own sake but because she was going to be the mother of his younger sibling.

 

“I guess,” he sighed finally, forcing himself to look back up and meet his Alpha Mother’s eyes. “I guess I should meet her then.”

 

The relief that flooded her expression almost disgusted him. He hated that her plan had succeeded, hated that he’d given in to what she wanted. But what else could he do? This was bigger than any petty satisfaction he might get out of refusing to meet this Julia now.

 

She was small, he noted when his Alpha Mum had led her back to the bedroom where he’d stayed behind to try to collect himself. She didn’t quite reach his Alpha Mum’s shoulder. She had red hair. That was the next thing he noticed, and then her pale complexion and warm brown eyes. She was smiling at him, the expression tentative and fragile. That was a good word for how she looked—fragile. She looked ready to crack and fall apart at any moment.

 

He thought he could guess what had drawn his Alpha Mother to her.

 

He rose from the bed and held out a hand, unable to ignore the way that he towered over her. She took his hand, and he noticed that her fingers were cold.

 

“Hello,” she said, her accent distinctly southern. He wondered if she was from around here. Where had she met his Alpha Mum? How had this whole thing started? “I’m Julia, and you must be Dan.”

 

“Yes,” he replied. Then, trying not to sound like he was forcing the words out, “Nice to meet you, Julia.”

 

That’s when he finally caught a whiff of her scent, and his eyes opened wide. She had a Beta’s dull and unremarkable scent, but mixed in with it, he could detect just the faintest scent of Omega. It wasn’t the scent of any of his Omega relatives out there in the parlor, but there was something almost familiar about it. Then it struck him—it reminded him of his own scent.

 

He swallowed.

 

“You’re having an Omega,” he blurted.

 

Her eyebrows rose and she blinked at him for a moment before letting out a subdued little laugh.

 

“Yeah,” she said. “That’s what people keep telling me. Amazing how you all can pick up on something like that!”

 

“It’s more obvious, I think, because you’re a Beta and don’t have a strong scent of your own,” Dan explained. There was an awkward pause while she just smiled and nodded, so then he plowed ahead. “Uh, how are you feeling? Was the morning sickness bad?”

 

She sighed, a long-suffering sound.

 

“I kind of felt like I was dying somewhere around the eighth or ninth week,” she replied, shaking her head, “but it got better after that.”

 

She was younger than his Alpha Mum, probably in her late thirties. The thought made him nervous. He knew that pregnancies became riskier the older the bearer was, especially after age 35. What if something happened to her or the baby? What if they were born with some sort of abnormality?

 

He pushed those thoughts aside, trying to focus on the present moment. It was disorienting, the way that just a few minutes ago he’d been convinced he never wanted to see this woman again while now he was actively worrying for her well-being.

 

“I had it pretty bad around that same time,” Dan told her, smiling in commiseration. “You know, Oscar’s outgrowing some of their newborn clothes already,” he added after another awkward silence. “They’ll probably have outgrown a bunch more by the time yours is here. We can probably save some stuff to pass on to you.”

 

“Oh, that would be lovely,” Julia said, her face lighting up in a bright smile. She wasn’t beautiful, exactly, not like his own Omega mum was, but she had a pleasant face. It was difficult for Dan to imagine his Alpha Mum being tempted away from her Omega wife by this woman, though. She didn’t exactly seem the sultry temptress type. Nevertheless, she was looking up at Dan’s Alpha Mum now with a gaze of clear adoration. “We’ve been scrimping and saving, preparing for our own little one. That would be such a help.”

 

Then his Alpha Mum smiled down at the petite Beta with a look full of that same adoration, and Dan decided he didn’t want to be here anymore. It was too much. This was all too much.

 

“Well, I’ll be in touch,” he said, plastering on a new smile and reaching out to shake Julia’s hand again. “It was nice meeting you. Keep me updated on the pregnancy.” This last was directed at his Mum.

 

“We certainly will,” she said, tearing her gaze away from her…girlfriend? Or future wife, he supposed. After a brief exchange of looks with Dan, she straightened herself up and added, “I think we’d better be going now. We’ve got plans this evening—“

 

“Oh, right,” Julia said, the troubled gaze she shot at Alpha Howell making the fib all too obvious. “Yes, we’d best run along.”

 

It was such a relief when they were gone. Dan found that he needed another moment to sit and try to settle his emotions before heading back out to the party.

 

Had they all known? Was that why no one here had thought to warn him that his Mum had brought Julia? Had they all been in agreement with his Alpha Mum’s plan to spring the introduction on him unawares?

 

And had they been right to do so?

 

He shook his head. Why hadn’t she just _told_ him? It wouldn’t have been easy to hear, but he could have handled it. And given enough time and space to properly process his thoughts, he probably would have reached the same conclusion he had just now—that it would be best for him to get to know Julia and, eventually, his new sibling.

 

But of course his Alpha Mum hadn’t respected him enough to believe he would make the right decision on his own. He thought back to the fight they’d had all those months ago, back when she’d first found out he was pregnant. _You’re barely twenty-five_ , she’d said. He wondered if she’d ever see him as anything other than a child to be controlled and coerced into doing what she wanted.

 

It was all the more reason to make sure he had a hand in how his new sibling was raised. They were going to be an Omega just like him. The thought was almost chilling. And he didn’t see Julia standing up to Alpha Howell much more than his own Omega mum ever had.

 

A small spark of determination lit in his belly, and he stood from the bed to pull his mobile from his pocket.

 

The phone rang only a couple of times before his brother picked up.

 

“What’s up?” came Adrian’s curious voice from the other end. “Party boring you already?”

 

“No,” Dan replied, steeling himself for the conversation. “There’s something I need to tell you.”


	25. Grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! At the moment, I'm thinking there will be one more chapter and then an epilogue. I apologize for not getting around to responding to the comments on the last chapter. Thank you all so much for reading and sharing your thoughts! It really does mean a lot to me. Next chapter (tentatively) on Thursday! <3
> 
> As always, check for any updates (or just come say hi) on my Twitter @phan_anonfics!

Phil lay in bed, eyes half-open, ostensibly checking his emails on the mobile he held in his hand. In fact, his gaze had wandered from the phone screen the minute Dan had begun stripping out of his clothes for the day.

 

The Omega stood all the way across the room next to his wardrobe with his back turned to Phil. He’d pulled his shirt off and was sliding his jeans down over his thighs now. His bare back was a pale, flat expanse speckled here and there with a mole. A softness lingered about his shape, adding curves where there had been none prior to his pregnancy: at the sides of his chest, at the tops of his arms, at the spot where his waist joined his hips.

 

Phil’s fingers itched to touch that softness, to feel its warmth and give beneath their pressure.

 

Once out of his jeans, Dan quickly pulled on the pajama bottoms and t-shirt he’d grabbed from inside the wardrobe, naked skin disappearing beneath worn fabric.

 

Phil sighed and set his mobile aside on the nightstand. A few moments later, Dan was there at the other side of the bed, sliding underneath the duvet and settling back into his pillows with a groan.

 

He’d been downstairs talking to his Omega mum for hours. Phil supposed she had a lot to process right now. Hell, they all had a lot to process right now.

 

Phil had seen Alpha Howell and Julia emerge from the back bedroom where they’d been talking to Dan and quickly make their excuses to Dan’s grandparents for leaving early. He’d expected Dan to reappear a few minutes later, but when he hadn’t he got worried. He’d waffled for a moment, not wanting to leave the baby behind as he’d promised Dan to keep an eye on them but also not wanting to rip them from their great-uncle’s arms and disappear along with Dan. After all, the three of them were kind of the reason everyone had come there in the first place.

 

Finally, he’d got fed up with his own waffling and decided Dan’s family had waited two hours for them to show up so everyone could probably wait a few more minutes to have their turn holding the baby. As politely as he could, he reclaimed them, said he was going to check on Dan, and then marched back to where the Omega had stalked off to a full twenty minutes ago.

 

He found him deep in conversation with his brother on the phone.

 

“No, Adrian, I know that you want absolutely nothing to do with her. I don’t really either, but I also don’t think I can just abandon our sibling to their fate,” he was saying. He hadn’t even looked up when Phil had slinked through the door, drowsy baby tucked into the crook of one arm. “We don’t know what kind of mum this Julia person is going to be, and we won’t know if we keep avoiding her.”

 

He was two steps into the room before Dan’s words sank in.

 

_Our sibling_.

 

He’d come to a dead standstill, just staring at Dan as the dust settled inside his brain. So that’s why Alpha Howell had been so brazen as to bring her Beta lover to Dan’s party. And that’s why she’d been so anxious to introduce said lover to Dan. And why, when Phil had explained that Dan was busy feeding the baby, she’d settled for encouraging Phil to get to know Julia better. She must have thought that getting Phil to accept her would be a step toward getting Dan to do the same.

 

Dan was going to be a big brother again. _Holy shit._

 

“I’m not trying to guilt you into doing anything,” Dan sighed into the phone. “I’m just letting you know the situation so that you can make your own decisions about how to handle it.”

 

Phil shook himself back to alertness and crossed over to the bed, sinking down on the quilted duvet beside Dan. The Omega’s hand reached out at once to settle on his thigh, though every other part of him still seemed fully focused on the conversation with Adrian.

 

“Yeah, I agree,” he said after a moment. “This is something we should tell her in person. Yeah. Yeah, I’ll let you know when I’m on my way home.”

 

He’d ended the call then and finally looked over at Phil, his eyes wide and tired.

 

“You heard, I guess,” he started.

 

Phil answered with a nod. He was probably looking pretty wide-eyed himself right about now.

 

“How soon do you think we can leave without it being rude?” Dan had asked then. Phil had let out a humorless chuckle.

 

“Another hour or so, at least.”

 

Dan had groaned, but then he’d squeezed the thigh his hand rested upon, straightened his shoulders and steeled himself for another hour of family time.

 

It ended up being a rather torturous hour. The tension in the room had been palpable when they’d returned, and no matter how much they all attempted to make small talk about the baby or focus on opening gifts, Phil had guessed that everyone there knew exactly why Dan had disappeared for so long and why his Alpha Mum had made such a quick exit.

 

Phil had been waiting the entire time for someone to snap and the whole thing to devolve into a huge, dramatic scene.

 

It never had.

 

Instead, they’d all soldiered through the heavy atmosphere, and then he and Dan had shelled out for an Uber ride home so that Dan could rant to him about the whole mess of a situation in relative privacy. One of the gifts his grandparents had given them was a car seat (“You live so far out now, we thought you must be planning to get your own car soon,” Dan’s Nana had opined), so they figured they might as well get some use out of it.

 

“I don’t want to tell my Omega mum,” Dan had whispered when they were about five minutes out from their house. 

 

Phil hadn’t needed to ask why. She wasn’t his mum, yet he didn’t want to even imagine the look on her face when she learned this news. He couldn’t imagine how Dan would feel seeing her distress.

 

“She’s doing so well,” Dan had gone on, “She’s starting that workforce training course next month and she’s been going out with friends more. She seems so happy. I don’t want to ruin all of that for her.”

 

“You won’t be ruining anything, Dan,” Phil had tried to comfort him. “She’s a strong woman, your mum, and she’s got all of us to support her.”

 

Dan had shrugged, a lukewarm concession of the point.

 

“Part of me thinks that it should be my Alpha Mum’s responsibility to break the news,” he’d muttered, running agitated fingers through his hair.“But the rest of me wouldn’t feel right keeping this from her.”

 

Phil had nodded. As hurtful as the truth would be, she was going to find out sooner or later. At least Dan would be able to break it to her gently.

 

She’d been there in the living room, home from her shift, when they finally walked through the front door. Adrian had been hovering nearby, too anxious to sit. In the car, Dan had told him that when he’d spoken to Adrian, his brother had insisted that they break the news to her together, and Dan had agreed. Dan felt that his mum would probably prefer to have as few people around to witness this moment as possible, so after giving them his greetings, the Beta had taken charge of the sleeping Laurie and disappeared upstairs.

 

Downstairs, things had been eerily quiet for the past couple of hours.

 

Finally, a few minutes ago Dan had appeared in their room, responding to Phil’s greeting with barely more than a grunt and heading at once for the bathroom. Phil had caught a glimpse of his face, drawn and tear-stained, and could only guess at how the conversation had gone. When Dan had emerged from the bathroom again, he’d gone straight to the wardrobe to change into his nightclothes.

 

And now here he was, curling up in bed with his back to Phil, looking like he had every intention of going straight to sleep without saying a word.

 

“Dan?”

 

The softly-spoken word had the effect of making the Omega roll over and open one red-rimmed eye to gaze up at him.

 

“Hm?” It was a weary-sounding noise, barely more than a vibration in the back of Dan’s throat.

 

“I guess you don’t want to talk about it?” Phil tried.

 

The single eye closed again, and Dan’s whole face took on a long-suffering expression.

 

“Not really,” he murmured.

 

Phil nodded but couldn’t help reaching out a hand to stroke the backs of his fingers over the Omega’s stubbly cheek. He usually shaved in the mornings, and it took a couple of days for his stubble to grow back in. He’d probably meant to shave that morning, before they left for the party at his grandparents’, but it seemed that today had had it in for their plans.

 

Dan’s eyes opened again, and he surprised Phil by nudging his hand aside in favor of drawing nearer, near enough to press his lips into Phil’s. The Beta almost sighed with relief. Dan’s reluctance to rehash what must have been a very difficult conversation was understandable, but it was good to have reassurance that he wasn’t shutting Phil out entirely.

 

Normally, one evening’s reticence wouldn’t have been enough to dredge up such worries in Phil’s mind, but so much had changed since Willow had come into their lives, that he often felt himself on shaky ground these days.

 

Dan’s lips were hot and far more energetic than his worn expression had led Phil to guess they would be. It wasn’t long before he felt the Omega’s hand skimming the edge of his pajama shirt, raising goosebumps on the skin there.

 

He was hard in seconds. They still hadn’t had sex, or at least not the kind where one of them ended up inside the other, since before the birth, though Dr. Paul had given Dan the all-clear at his six week check-up. Phil understood why, or at least he thought he did, and he would never push Dan to do something he wasn’t comfortable with, but _god_ right now with Dan’s lips trailing down to his throat and Dan’s hands roaming around under his shirt and Dan’s hips pressed against his hips he missed sex so much.

 

He snaked a hand down between them, caressing it over first Dan’s hip and then his thigh, moving inward at a cautious rate that gave the Omega time to stop him if he didn’t want this.

 

But Dan didn’t stop him. A moment later, he was brushing his fingers against the Omega’s own erection. Dan paused with his lips somewhere in the vicinity of Phil’s collarbone to let out a breathless moan.

 

“Yeah?” he murmured into Dan’s hair as he pressed in more firmly with his palm. “You want me to get you off like that or…?” He trailed off, once again giving Dan space to take the lead.

 

“Yeah, like that or anything,” the Omega breathed back, his words warm against Phil’s skin. “Anything,” he said again. “Feels good.”

 

Phil bit his lip, wondering just how much he really meant that “anything.”

 

“Could we…” he began, trailing off as he wondered whether he should just let it be, get Dan off with his hand and leave things there.

 

“Yeah?” Dan asked, pulling back to gaze up into his face. All the weariness had disappeared from expression, replaced by flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes. The sight encouraged Phil.

 

“Do you think you might want to maybe…fuck me?” he asked, grazing his palm across the Omega’s hardness again and raising one eyebrow.

 

The shudder Dan gave in response was delicious to see.

 

Unfortunately, it was followed almost at once by a wave of uncertainty washing across the Omega’s features.

 

“I don’t know,” he mumbled, curling forward to press his forehead against Phil’s chest again. “Maybe…if we could do it with the lights off?”

 

Excitement clenched Phil’s stomach.

 

“Okay,” he said, dropping a kiss on the Omega’s hair and rolling away to fumble for the switch on his bedside lamp. It took a moment, but he found it and then the room was plunged into darkness, broken only by a faint glow from the edges of the curtains over their bedroom window.

 

His eyes were still unadjusted to the faint light when he turned back, and he had to grope around to find Dan again in the dark.

 

When his hand connected with soft t-shirt fabric, he slid his arm further around the Omega’s body and pulled him closer.

 

“Phil,” he whispered as the Beta let his hand wander down to the Omega’s arsecheeks. “Is this…okay? You don’t mind, um, having the lights off?”

 

“No,” Phil replied, sliding one hand up so that he could slip it beneath the elastic band of Dan’s pajama bottoms. “If it meant getting to have sex with you right now, I’d probably agree to do it while blindfolded with the Union Jack and tied to the bedposts with my own dirty socks.”

 

He felt the breath of laughter that left Dan’s nose as a warm tickle just under his jaw.

 

“Well, that certainly paints a picture.”

 

“I’m serious, though, Dan,” Phil pressed, clutching Dan around the buttocks and pulling his hips in hard against Phil’s. He heard the Omega’s groan as their excited cocks pressed together through the thin layers of boxer and pajama. “I want you. Like, so badly.”

 

The Omega worked his hips side to side a few times, letting their erections rub together with glorious, teasing friction that pulled an answering groan from Phil’s throat.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Fuck,” he breathed out and then pushed the Omega’s boxers and pajama bottoms down in one quick motion. “If you don’t fuck me right this minute—“

 

A breathy giggle filled his ear and then there were hands at the hem of his shirt again, pulling it up, trying to get it over his head. He had to let go of Dan’s bottoms to help him get the shirt off, but the minute it was gone, he went straight for Dan’s. He expected some sort of hesitation or nervousness on the Omega’s part, but instead he seemed just as eager as Phil was to get his clothes off. So, his real objection, Phil decided, really was just nervousness about Phil seeing the changes in his body. The Beta stored up that information in his mind for a later conversation.

 

Once they were both thoroughly undressed, he pulled away for a moment just to give himself time to indulge in the pleasure of exploring Dan’s bare flesh for the first time in months. His body felt different, just as Phil had expected: soft in new places, with new textures in others. He let his fingertips trail over one of Dan’s nipples and felt it come away moist.

 

He lifted the finger to his lips and swiped over the drop of moisture with his tongue. It was sweet, far sweeter than he’d been expecting. No wonder Oscar liked the stuff so much.

 

Dan shivered under the continued movement of his hand, which had found its way down to the inside of the Omega’s rounded thigh. He peered down at Dan, trying to make out something of him in the dim light. He could see a shape, faintly outlined in light from the window, and the sparkle of two eyes catching the few rays of streetlamp light. He lowered his right hand once more, trailing the fingertips up Dan’s side from hip to armpit. The Omega shivered again.

 

Then he couldn’t stand it any longer. He pulled Dan close, finding his lips in the dark, and as they kissed again, he rolled over onto his back, drawing Dan down on top of him to make it clear what he wanted. The Omega came willingly, planting his arms either side of Phil’s body and settling down between his thighs.

 

“Mmm, I like this,” he murmured as he bent to take Phil’s mouth. “We should do this more often,” he added when he’d pulled away again.

 

Phil just gave an impatient whine and squeezed his thighs around the Omega’s hips, drawing him even closer.

 

“Fuck me,” he commanded, raising his hips slightly off the bed to let his eager cock slide against Dan’s.

 

“Okay, okay,” Dan half-laughed, half-gasped out. “Lemme just—“

 

It took a lot of fumbling on Dan’s part, finding the lube in the bedside table. Phil tried his best to help, opening the drawer for him and taking the bottle from Dan once he’d found it. It was kind of exciting, he realized as Dan settled back down between his legs again, making love in the dark like this. Without the sense of sight, his other senses felt more sensitive, every rustle of movement from Dan, every brush of skin against his, heightened. The anticipation inside him had ratcheted up to an almost unbearable level.

 

When he felt the first slick finger pressing into his hole, he almost yelped in surprise. He couldn’t follow everything that Dan was doing, and he hadn’t been expecting it so quickly. Instead, though, he turned it into a whimper as he relaxed into the pleasure of Dan opening him.

 

“Is that good?” came the Omega’s voice as he slid the finger in a slow circle inside him.

 

“Yeah,” Phil replied, “more.”

 

So Dan gave him more; more fingers, more kisses against his bare skin—his bent leg, his chest, his lips—and then himself, that thick, blunt cock slipping inside him like it was made to fit his body.

 

“Dan,” he sighed when he had slid all the way inside. “You feel amazing.”

 

“You too,” came his mate’s breathy reply.

 

“I don’t think I’m going to last very long.”

 

Dan chuckled, pulling out a bit and adjusting his hips to find a better angle.

 

“I don’t think I am either.”

 

“Just fuck me.”

 

Dan bent forward over him again, hands taking hold of his thighs to steady himself, and he fucked into Phil, slowly building up a rhythm and speed, and Phil laid his head back against the pillows and let himself get lost in the sensations: fingers biting sharp into the soft flesh of his thighs, heat from Dan’s body searing him everywhere they joined, sweat prickling in the backs of his knees and under his arms, and that indescribable joy of feeling Dan moving inside him, plumbing his most intimate depths.

 

Dan came first, moaning and shuddering as his cock pulsed inside Phil’s hole and spilled hot liquid there. When he’d come down again, he pulled out and replaced his dick with the fingers of one hand while the other groped for Phil’s cock. It only took a few slow strokes to push Phil over the edge, his hole squeezing around the Omega’s fingers as he spilled his own load into Dan’s palm. When he was spent, Dan cleaned them both up with his tongue, lapping up first Phil’s cum from his hand and the Beta’s stomach and then his own cum where it had begun to leak out of Phil’s loosened hole.

 

Afterward, the Omega crawled up the bed to collapse in exhaustion beside him. Phil was half-asleep already, but he had enough energy left to roll toward Dan and find his lips in the dark.

 

“Love you,” he slurred against the Omega’s mouth as he pressed a good night kiss there.

 

“Love you too,” Dan murmured back after the kiss.

 

Then they both fell swiftly into sleep.

 

**

 

Eliot woke them only once in the night, fussing and crying until Dan woke enough to sit up and give them his breast. Phil was asleep again almost as soon as the baby stopped crying.

 

He didn’t wake again until morning sunlight was streaming bright and golden through their bedroom window. He lay there, lazy and comfortable amidst the bedclothes for a long time before he remembered, frowning, that they’d closed the curtains last night.

 

He opened his eyes and pushed himself up, gazing around an empty room. He could see the rumpled spot on the other side of the bed where Dan had been last night, and there was Willow’s cot. But neither baby nor Omega were anywhere to be found.

 

Phil took a quick shower before he went about tracking down his mate and child. Clean and dressed for the day, he set out, checking the nursery first. Finding it empty too, he headed downstairs, where he could hear someone talking. The voice was coming from the living room, so he followed the sound there, where he finally located the baby.

 

They were lying on a soft yellow blanket that had been spread out on the living room floor, waving their arms and legs about and smiling up at Dan’s Omega mum. She had looked up when Phil entered the room, a glowing smile on her face to match Oscar’s.

 

“Good morning,” she greeted him, then looked back down at the baby. She reached over and took hold of both their tiny hands in hers and moved them gently up and down. “Your Beta dad is here, Laurie. What do you think about that?”

 

They gurgled and gave a little shriek, and Phil couldn’t help laughing. He padded over and crouched down beside Omega Howell. The baby jerked their head toward him at once, and when recognition dawned on them, a big smile filled their face and they let out another shriek. Phil’s heart clenched in his chest. He didn’t think he would ever get over just how breathtaking that smile was.

 

“Good morning, love,” he said, smiling down at them and then making a silly face. They stared for a moment, their eyes going comically wide, and then they let out another smiling gurgle. “You having a fun playtime with your grandmum?”

 

“Very fun,” Omega Howell said, moving her hands down to their feet now and giving them the same gentle tugs up and down. “Dan’s gone out to the shops, about half an hour ago now. He said to tell you he’d be back soon if you woke up while he was gone.”

 

“Okay, thanks.”

 

“How about we try some tummy time now, huh, Oscar? You wanna try that?” she said then.

 

“Ohh, yeah,” Phil said, matching her excited tone to show the baby that something fun was happening. “Let’s show off how good you are at raising your head.”

 

Omega Howell lifted them then and gently placed them back down on their stomach, facing toward the two of them. They both got down on their bellies too, to put their faces in the baby’s range of vision. It took Eliot a moment to manage it, but then they had picked their little face up off the blanket and were seeking out Phil and Omega Howell’s faces.

 

“Well done!” Omega Howell cried, smiling at the baby and reaching over to stroke the back of one tiny hand. “Aren’t you just the cleverest.”

 

“Takes after their dad,” Phil chimed in, reaching over to stroke their other hand. They blinked and smiled at him, pink gums exposed for a moment, and then they laid their head back down. No doubt their little neck muscles were tired after holding up their head for so long. 

 

“I think they’re about ready to be put down for a nap,” Omega Howell told him then. “They’ve had a feed and have been awake and active for a while now.”

 

“Do you want to do the honors?” Phil offered, still stroking Laurie’s hand and smiling down at them. The fact that they didn’t lift their head to look at him again made him think they probably were very ready for a nap.

 

“If you don’t mind,” Omega Howell said, gracing him with a questioning smile. He shook his head in response. During those first few weeks, it had been difficult to give up baby time to anyone else. By now, though, it was something more of a relief to be able to relinquish his duties to someone else every now and then. Dan’s mum had been a huge help in that regard, seeming almost able to read their minds and guess exactly when they wanted her assistance.

 

It took almost no time to get Willow down for their nap. They really had been as tired as Phil suspected.

 

While Omega Howell busied herself with the baby, he settled on the sofa with his laptop and the TV on for background noise. She came to join him there once the baby was down. The two of them sat in silence for a while, him scrolling through Twitter, her watching whatever was on the TV. The longer the silence continued, the heavier it felt. He wondered if she and Dan had talked things over any further this morning. He cast a couple of surreptitious glances her way, wondering if he should ask how she was or if she would find the question intrusive.

 

To his surprise, though, she was the one who finally brought it up.

 

“I guess you know,” she said, turning to him all of a sudden, “about Jay’s…new child.” Her face had scrunched up as she said those words, almost like it hurt her to force them out. He wouldn’t wonder if it did.

 

He nodded.

 

“Dan told me, yesterday.”

 

She returned his nod, her eyes growing distant and cloudy.

 

“I’m worried about Dan and Adrian,” she announced after a moment.

 

Phil couldn’t hide his surprise at that. Shouldn’t the worrying be going in the opposite direction?

 

A tight, painful-looking smile stretched her lips.

 

“No, I’m not going to pretend it wasn’t difficult news for me to hear as well,” she explained, reading the doubt in his expression, “but… You know, I really think I’ve managed to move on. Jay and I had a good life together, for a while at least, but I truly do think that it’s best for both of us that it’s come to an end.” She paused, shook her head. “I think someday I might even be able to be happy for her.” 

 

A mirthless laugh followed these words, but it was quickly replaced with a frown.

 

“It’s different for the boys, though,” she went on. “They can’t just move on to a new life like I have. She’s always going to be their Alpha Mum, no matter what. And she’s not a monster, you know.” She raised her dark eyes, so much like Dan’s, to his face then, and the look in them was almost pleading. “Maybe you think it’s strange that I should be the one defending her. When you reach my age, though…” she gave a little shrug. “Life’s too short to hold grudges, and anyway, there are worse things an Alpha can do to their Omega than be unfaithful to them. And I don’t want my boys to waste their time and energy resenting her, not when they’ve got so much life yet to get through.”

 

Phil tried to process what she was telling him, feeling at a loss for how to respond. Why had she decided to bring this up to him of all people?

 

“Did you tell them that?” he finally asked.

 

She responded with a long-suffering sigh.

 

“I did,” she said. “I’m not so sure it got through their stubborn skulls, though. Dan’s maybe, a little. Adrian’s, not at all.”

 

Phil offered her a grimace of sympathy, but she spoke again before he could come up with anything else to say.

 

“You have to keep an eye on Dan,” she told him, the pleading back in her eyes. “I can tell he’s torn over this whole situation, and you know how he tends to hold on to things. He tries to take it all on himself too. I could hear it in everything he told me yesterday. He already thinks this new child is his responsibility, along with Adrian and me and probably his Alpha Mum too. I’m worried he’s going to end up blaming himself when he can’t just fix everything.” 

 

Phil certainly couldn’t argue with her there. Dan played the self-blame game on expert level.

 

“I’ll make sure to give him a good shake if I catch him blaming himself.”

 

“Please,” she said, the smile she gave him tinged with sadness. “I’m glad he wants to be a part of this new sibling’s life. I think that’ll be good for him and Jay both. Just don’t let him forget that it’s not all up to him.”

 

Phil opened his mouth to reply, but the sounds of Dan’s keys in the door shut him up. Omega Howell gave him one more quick smile and then, to his astonishment, leaned over and dropped a quick peck on his cheek.

 

“You’re a good lad,” she said, pushing herself up from the sofa to greet her son.

 

**

 

Dan was sat on their bed giving Eliot their bedtime feed when Phil slipped upstairs to get ready for bed. They’d all had a big day. The baby had managed to kick Phil in the knee on two different occasions and had also socked their Omega dad in the face. Of course, as weak as their tiny muscles still were, both actions hadn’t felt like much more than soft touches. Phil had uploaded a video to his channel, and they’d both filmed another one for the gaming channel while Adrian and Omega Howell kept Laurie busy and saw to their needs.

 

Phil was tired in the way that told him he’d had a good, busy day. Nevertheless, he couldn’t rest just yet.

 

Dan still hadn’t talked to him about the conversation with his mum last night, and after Phil’s own conversation with her today, he felt even more sure it was something they needed to discuss.

 

“Hey,” he called as he pulled the door shut behind him and padded over to the bed.

 

“Hey.” 

 

Dan was expertly juggling the nursing baby in one arm while scrolling through Facebook on his laptop with the opposite hand.

 

Phil climbed up and settled in beside him.

 

He figured the best thing to do was just to dive right in.

 

“Can we talk about it now?”

 

“Hm?” Dan looked up from his laptop and blinked at him in obvious confusion. “Talk about what?”

 

“The whole thing,” Phil said, lifting a hand and waving it in the air as if gesturing toward the ‘thing.’ “With your Alpha Mum’s new kid and having to tell your Omega mum about it.”

 

“Oh,” Dan said, eyes dropping to his laptop screen again. “That.”

 

When it became apparent that Dan wasn’t going to say anything more on the matter, Phil suppressed a sigh and pushed forward.

 

“How did it go?” he asked. “Yesterday, when you broke the news to your mum?”

 

Dan was silent for a time, fingers still scrolling through his Facebook feed while the baby sucked hungrily at his breast.

 

“It was…” he finally started, frowning down at the screen. “It was fine.” He paused. “Well, I mean, my mum was fine, I think. She got upset at first, but she calmed down pretty quickly. Adrian…was himself.” His fingers stopped scrolling as he seemed to consider what to say about his younger brother. “I think he was disappointed that she didn’t stay angry. _He’s_ very angry, thinks it’s the most insensitive thing our Alpha Mum could have done, going and starting a new family with _her_. It was harder for him to stay angry, though, with our Omega mum being so adult and reasonable about the whole thing.”

 

“How about you?” Phil asked. “Are you angry?”

 

Dan kept his eyes locked on the laptop screen, though Phil was pretty sure he was no longer seeing it. 

 

“I don’t know,” he mumbled after a moment. “Kind of?”

 

He stopped then, taking a moment to switch Willow over to his other breast and settle them there before continuing.

 

“I want to be angry,” he clarified when he spoke again. “But I also kind of see my mum’s point. It seems pretty pointless for me and Adrian to hold a grudge against our Alpha Mum when both of them have been able to move on.”

 

“But is your grudge against her only on your Omega mum’s behalf?”

 

That got Dan to finally look up from the laptop screen and meet Phil’s eyes. He blinked a few times, a crease appearing between his eyebrows.

 

“You mean, am I angry at her on my own behalf as well? I guess so.” His gaze shifted down again, and his hand darted out and snapped the laptop closed suddenly. “Of course I am. All our lives, she’s lorded it over us, pretending like she was something so great and so special just because she was the Alpha. And then she goes and does all of this? Where does she get off trying to tell me how to run my life when she clearly can’t manage her own?”

 

Phil almost smiled at the amount of feeling he finally heard seeping into Dan’s tone.

 

“And now she expects me to just forgive her? Just let all of that go and give her another chance?”

 

“Did she ask you to forgive her?” Phil asked. Dan had told him all about the conversation he’d had with his Alpha Mum and Julia yesterday. He was pretty sure the word “forgiveness” had never come up.

 

“Well, not in so many words,” Dan conceded, giving one shoulder a shallow shrug. He couldn’t move very much with the baby still attached to his chest. “But it was implied, don’t you think? If I accept this new life she’s building for herself, if I become a part of it, even if only for my half-sibling’s sake, won’t that require some measure of forgiveness on my part?”

 

“Probably,” Phil said, considering it, “even if only in the interest of your own sanity.”

 

Dan was quiet for so long that Oscar finished their feed and pulled back from his nipple with a smack of their lips.

 

“Here,” and Phil reached for them, snatching a muslin from the nightstand to drape over his shoulder. The baby was a warm, comforting weight in his arms, and he took a moment to kiss their forehead and nuzzle their little nose before bringing them up to his shoulder.

 

“I don’t want to forgive her,” Dan said as he refastened his nursing bra and pulled his shirt back into its proper place. “In some sick way, I think I kind of enjoy being mad at her.”

 

Phil nodded and gave Eliot’s back a few helpful pats.

 

“I don’t think that’s sick so much as it’s just human nature,” he pointed out. “It’s…cathartic, I guess, to be righteously angry with someone who has wronged you.”

 

He patted the baby’s back a couple more times, and they let out a squishy gurgle and spit up a bit of their milk.

 

“Yeah,” Dan said, reaching a finger down to trail it along the smooth edge of his MacBook. “But I guess next you’ll be telling me that I can’t stay righteously angry forever.”

 

“You could try,” Phil shrugged. “I’m not going to tell you how to feel. That’s up to you. I just want you to talk to me about it, whatever it is you end up feeling.”

 

The Omega looked up at him again then, an expression on his face that wasn’t quite a smile.

 

“I think I can manage that much,” he said.

 

Phil gave the baby’s back another little pat.

 

“Good,” he smiled. “Now that we’ve got that settled, I think I know someone who would love to have a story read to them before bed.”

 

“Is it me?” Dan suggested, moving his laptop over to his own nightstand and trading it out for a colorful cloth book that sat there.

 

“Of course,” Phil said, rubbing Willow’s back through another round of wind and spit up. “I know how you just live for a dramatic reading of ‘Pat the Bunny.’”

 

Dan snorted and then scooted closer across the bed, spreading the book open on his lap.

 

“That’s why we work together so well, Phil,” he said as he leaned into the Beta’s shoulder. “You just get me.”


	26. Brilliant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another birth day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! The final chapter. Huge, huge thanks to everyone who has read my story, given it kudos, commented on it, or talked to me about it on Twitter. Really, this story exists thanks to your encouragement.
> 
> I promise I will finally respond to everyone's comments this weekend. And there should be an epilogue going up next week! It has been a pleasure writing and sharing this story with all of you. <3

Oscar woke Dan sometime just after sunrise when the light from the window was soft and new. They’d only just started sleeping for a solid six hours a night within the past couple of weeks, and it still surprised Dan a little to wake up in the morning feeling refreshed and more or less well-rested. It also amused him to think that in his life pre-baby he would have considered getting a mere six hours of sleep every night to be verging on inhumane torture.

 

He supposed he’d learned to count his blessings.

 

Their feed this morning was short, something Dan had started trying since first introducing Laurie to solid food about three weeks ago. He and Phil liked having the baby sit and eat some breakfast with them first thing in the morning, so he’d started cutting their first feed of the morning short to compensate.

 

Phil still lay sprawled across the opposite side of the bed, fast asleep, as Dan pulled Willow loose from his breast and soothed their protestations. The Beta was fully naked, and Dan could see just a hint of curved buttock where the duvet had been shoved down around his hips. He laughed softly when he caught himself staring. It had been nearly seven months since he’d given birth now, and it seemed like his sex drive was finally getting back to normal. Better than normal, even, if the activities he and Phil had got up to last night were any measure.

 

It had taken some work for him to get there. The sight of his naked body in the mirrors still usually brought a frown to his face. He’d slimmed down somewhat, but he knew that the other changes were going to be permanent. He was working on not caring. Phil’s obvious enthusiasm for seeing and touching his body definitely helped, as did the fact that every time he saw the shiny white lines on his stomach and hips, they reminded him that his body had carried and given birth to Oscar, one of his favorite people in the entire world.

 

Dan was really starting to get a sense of Oscar’s personality now. They were bright and loud and curious, ready to laugh at any little thing but also prone to fits of ear-splitting wailing when they grew frustrated. They’d started crawling early, according to their health visitor, Jean, and Dan reckoned it was because they were just so determined to learn as much about the world as they could. They had a habit of trying to crawl under any piece of furniture with a large enough gap for them to fit, and more than once, he or Phil or his mum or Adrian had had to stop them making a break for the empty space behind the TV stand.

 

They talked a lot too, or at least, Phil liked to call it talking. It was mostly just sounds: coos and gurgles and shrieks and the occasional babble that sounded almost like words. Dan guessed they had inherited his own gift of gab. He hoped he could help them grow up to love that about themselves rather than wasting so much time feeling self-conscious about it like he had.

 

Something else new they’d discovered about Laurie in recent months: they were a redhead. When they’d first been born, they’d had a small patch of brownish hair atop their head that had slowly fallen out during the first couple of months. It had been replaced by curling locks of red-gold hair that Dan wouldn’t have thought possible if he and Phil hadn’t taken those DNA tests back in the spring. Their eyes had stayed a bright blue, and Dan checked them every day to see if they were developing any splotches of green or yellow like their Beta dad’s. So far, his findings were inconclusive.

 

Phil was still dead to the world when Dan finished getting Willow dressed for the day, and since the two of them had kept each other up late last night, he decided he’d let the Beta sleep in. Phil was putting in more hours toward their YouTube career than Dan these days, so it wasn’t like he hadn’t earned the occasional lie-in.

 

Dan slipped downstairs in the stillness of the morning and set about making his and the baby’s breakfast. Oscar sat gurgling happily over a brightly-colored stacking toy in their playpen while Dan whipped up scrambled eggs, toast, and sausages for himself and chicken and mashed sweet potato for the baby.

 

The two of them were mostly through their respective meals when his Omega mum appeared in the kitchen, bleary-eyed but dressed to the nines in her navy blue hotel uniform. Thanks to the qualification she’d received through her workforce training program, in just a few months she’d risen to a managerial position at her job. Every time Dan saw her decked out in her new uniform, his chest swelled with pride. With her new position, she’d received enough of a raise that she’d begun to talk about her and Adrian moving out to their own place soon. Dan had been shocked by just how sad he’d felt the first time she’d brought it up. Their big house was going to feel so empty with just the two of them and Willow.

 

“Well, aren’t you a messy little tyke,” she exclaimed to Willow as she came to a stop near their highchair. They had orange blobs of sweet potato either side of their mouth and a scrap of chicken stuck to one cheek. They squealed up at their Omega grandmum and held their arms out toward her in a clear request to be picked up. “Oh, yes, Grandmum would very much like to hold you, but you’ve got to eat your breakfast first, all right?”

 

“Good thing they’ve done such a good job eating up their chicken,” Dan said, winking at his mum. “Just a few bites of sweet potato left. Now, say ‘ah.” Laurie turned their face back toward their dad and opened their mouth just enough for him to get the spoon inside. “Well done!” Dan praised them, and they squealed and waved their hands again.

 

Laurie had finished all their breakfast and were receiving some well-deserved cuddles from their grandmum when their Uncle Adrian finally stumbled into the kitchen.

 

Dan and his mum knew better than to try to speak to the zombie-like Alpha until after he’d had his breakfast and some time to make his peace with the idea of being awake. Sure enough, by the time Dan was at the sink washing up his dirty dishes while his mum balanced Willow on one hip and ate her own breakfast with the opposite hand, Adrian had his eyes fully open and was even able to go so far as to wish them all “G’morning.”

 

When he’d finished his cereal, he brought his bowl to the sink, but since Dan was still in the middle of washing up his own dishes, he told his brother he would take care of it. Adrian shrugged and then walked back over to the breakfast table and reached down for Oscar.

 

“Grandmum’s had her turn holding you, right?” he said as he lifted the little one from his Omega mother’s arms. She faked a frown at him but let the baby go willingly enough. “You’re ready for some playtime with your Alpha Uncle now, aren’t you?”

 

Dan couldn’t help watching out of the corner of his eye as his little brother scooped the baby up in his arms and carried them over to the playpen. Once there, he bent and picked up a cloth book lying in the bottom of it and brought book and baby both back over to the table.

 

“Today’s lesson is going to be reading,” the young Alpha said as he settled back into his chair and spread the book out on the table where Laurie could easily see it from their seat on his lap. “You’re going to be the world’s first literate baby, just you wait and see.”

 

Dan turned back to the dishes, little tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He’d seen his brother with Willow countless times by now, but today, thinking about how Adrian would probably be moving out soon, the sight seemed so much more poignant. He couldn’t help thinking back to that conversation they’d had months ago now when Adrian had said how much he enjoyed being here for this part of Willow’s life. It was obvious from the excited way they were gurgling along with their uncle’s reading that Willow enjoyed it too.

 

And to think, neither of them would have had this if Dan’s Alpha Mum hadn’t been a cheating arsehole.

 

Dan had never been a huge believer in silver linings, but even he couldn’t deny that this whole mess between his parents had produced more than a few.

 

He’d just finished up the last of the dishes and was making his way back over to the table when his mobile began buzzing in his pocket. Dan was so focused on the way Oscar giggled at the funny voice their uncle was using to read the book that he didn’t even look at his phone screen before he answered.

 

The sound of his Alpha Mother’s voice on the other end of the line immediately grabbed his attention.

 

“Julia’s labor started during the night,” she said almost before he’d got his ‘hello’ all the way out. “We’re at the hospital now. I didn’t want to call you and wake you up too early, but, yeah. It looks like we’re having a baby today.”

 

“That’s wonderful,” Dan said, somewhat dazed. He glanced over toward the refrigerator where they had a family calendar drawn on a magnetic dry erase board. It was the best system they’d come up with to keep track of the busy schedules of four adults and one infant. Today was November 1. After a difficult pregnancy that had involved high blood pressure and worries of the possible development of pre-eclampsia, poor Julia was already more than a week overdue. He let out a sigh of relief. _Finally._ “Would you like me to come up to the hospital? Adrian has class in a bit, but Phil and I would be happy to come up there and wait with you.”

 

Both his Omega mum and his brother turned to look at him then. Covering the mouthpiece of the phone with one hand, he mouthed to them, “Julia’s in labor.” Relief and excitement to match his own filled his brother’s face at once. The expression on his Omega mum’s face was more complex, but she’d been very clear that they shouldn’t hold back discussing her ex-wife’s fiancée and new baby in front of her. “They’re a part of your lives now,” she’d explained with a philosophical shrug. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep any part of your lives hidden from me.”

 

“That would be a tremendous help,” his Alpha Mum was saying on the other end of the line. “Work’s given me off, but there’s no one else around that can come up to the hospital in the middle of the day.”

 

“Well, Phil’s still in bed, but I’ll get him up and text you when we’re on our way. Tell Julia to hang in there.”

 

“I’m not telling her anything of the sort,” his Alpha Mum retorted. “The last time I tried to tell her something encouraging, she told me to, uh, leave in a very forceful manner.”

 

Dan had to bite back a laugh. It wasn’t really that funny. He knew very well just how painful and stressful childbirth could be. After all the difficulties she’d had during the pregnancy itself, he could only imagine just how stressed out Julia must be feeling right now.

 

“We’ll be there as soon as we can,” he managed to say without letting his voice waver.

 

His Omega mum and Adrian were on him the moment he hung up.

 

“How far along is she?” his mum asked, pushing back her seat and standing up from the table, just as Adrian twisted around, baby still in his arms, and demanded, “They’re at the hospital already?”

 

“Yeah, apparently she went into labor overnight,” Dan said, holding up his hands in surrender. “Mum didn’t want to wake us, so she waited until now to call.”

 

“Is everything going well so far?” his Omega mum asked, concern writ clear in her features. Dan still couldn’t get over how well she was taking this. He knew himself, and he could pretty clearly imagine just how spiteful he would be if, someday in the distant future, Phil left him for someone else and then had the audacity to reproduce with them. Weird to think how differently he’d felt about that matter even only a year ago, how much he’d wrestled with defining his and Phil’s relationship. Now, it was very clear in his mind: Phil was his mate, and he couldn’t imagine either of them with anyone else.

 

“As well as can be expected, from what Mum says,” Dan assured her. “Adrian,” he said, turning to his brother, who was still holding a very wiggly Laurie in his arms. “Can you keep an eye on them while I try to wrestle Phil out of bed?”

 

The Alpha checked his watch and nodded. Dan cast his own glance toward the clock on the microwave. It was still barely past 8:00 in the morning. Adrian had a class at 9:30, but it shouldn’t cut into his schedule too much to watch the baby for a few minutes longer.

 

“Thanks,” Dan called over his shoulder as he rushed out of the kitchen.

 

Upstairs, he found the bed empty, but he could clearly hear the shower running through the closed bathroom door. After a brief knock and Phil’s call of “Come in!”, he pushed inside, gasping for a moment in the moist heat of the room.

 

“Something wrong?” Phil asked from inside the shower when Dan didn’t immediately speak up.

 

“No, nothing’s wrong. Just had a call from my Alpha Mum. Julia’s in labor, and they’re already at the hospital.”

 

There was a pause, and then one edge of the shower curtain was snatched aside to let Phil’s wet, squinting face peer out.

 

“Finally,” he said, a relieved smile quirking up one side of his lips. “Are we heading over to Wokingham, then?”

 

Dan nodded.

 

“I told her we could come, but…” He pursed his lips as he considered the logistics. “I have no idea how long it’ll be until the baby arrives. I don’t think it would be a good idea to take Willow with us.”

 

A contemplative frown wrinkled Phil’s forehead.

 

“Well,” he said slowly, his eyes drifting to the side as he thought through the options, “Adrian only has the one class today, right? If we wait until he gets home, we could ask him to watch the baby while we go to Wokingham, or…” Phil’s eyes found their way back to Dan’s face, pinning him with a pointed look. “You and Adrian could go, and I could stay here with Laurie.”

 

Dan grimaced. Sure, it was a completely reasonable plan. And someday, it would be nice for their little sibling to know that both their older brothers had come to welcome them into the world. On the other hand, relations between Adrian and their Alpha Mother remained distinctly strained. The few times they’d met since May had all ended in raised voices and slammed doors.

 

Still. Their sibling was only going to be born once. He doubted Adrian really wanted to miss out on that.

 

“I’ll ask him what he wants to do.”

 

Phil blinked some droplets of water from his eyes and then offered him an encouraging smile.

 

“This is a good thing,” he reminded Dan. “Your new Omega sibling is almost here.”

 

Dan closed his eyes and let the idea seep in. Yeah. Yeah! Today was a day for celebration. He opened his eyes, set his features into an expression of determination and then forced an answering smile.

 

“Thanks,” he said. “You’re right, as much as it pains me to admit it.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Phil called, “I won’t let it go to my head,” and then he disappeared into the shower again with a satisfied grin on his face.

 

By the time Dan made it back downstairs, his Omega mum had already left for work. He found Adrian sprawled on the living room rug with a happily-shrieking Willow held high in the air over his head. If it had been almost anyone else holding his baby up in the air like that, his protective instincts would probably have demanded he rescue them at once. But he’d learned to trust his younger brother with the baby. There was a gentle strength about the way he held them that made Dan glad his brother was going to be Willow’s first example of what an Alpha should be like. And, honestly, fuck his Alpha Mum for not being able to see that. She was an idiot if she wasn’t proud of the Alpha Adrian had become.

 

“And there’s your dad,” his brother said as Dan stepped into the room. “Missed him, did you? No, no need to worry about your old Uncle Adrian’s feelings. I know who you really love more.”

 

Indeed, Oscar had turned their face toward the door as soon as Dan had appeared. At this age, he’d read, Alpha and Omega babies’ sense of smell was far more sensitive than their sight or hearing, so he guessed they’d smelled their Omega dad nearby and turned toward his scent.

 

“Someday when you have one of your own, they can love you more,” Dan told his brother as he walked over and crouched down on the carpet next to the two. Oscar’s eyes had followed him the whole way, and they now grinned and gurgled out a response to the sound of his voice. “So, me and Phil were thinking that we would wait to head over to Wokingham until you got home from class.”

 

Adrian brought the baby down to his chest and then, wrapping an arm around them, pushed himself up off the floor.

 

“Need me to watch little bit here while you’re gone?” he asked as he sat back and settled them on his lap.

 

“Either that or you could come with me to the hospital and Phil can stay home with Willow.”

 

The easy expression froze on the Alpha’s features.

 

“It’s your choice,” Dan said. “You can always go over and see them another time if you don’t come today.”

 

His brother’s gaze fell and landed on the curly-haired top of Laurie’s head. They were currently squirming about, trying very hard to make their escape from their uncle’s firm grasp. Dan watched the way his brother’s eyes locked onto that tiny, wiggling body, watched the way they softened and then lit up again with resolve.

 

“No, I’ll come with you.”

 

Dan couldn’t fight the grin that spread across his face.

 

“Good.”

 

**

 

The wait at the hospital seemed interminable.

 

When they got there, their Alpha Mum met them and led them down to the waiting area of the maternity ward. Though Julia had been installed in a private delivery suite, their Mum explained that her doctors didn’t want too many people around, in case there were complications. However, as he and Adrian started taking their seats in the waiting area, he noticed that their Mum was sitting down along with them rather than preparing to return to her fiancée. He noted then her blood-shot eyes and jittery hands. He’d forgot to ask just how long Julia had been in labor already, but he guessed it had been several hours.

 

“Why don’t I go in and have a chat with her for a while?” Dan suggested, standing upright again. Adrian shot him a wide-eyed look, but he ignored it. “And maybe you could grab some food or just rest for a bit if you’d like, Mum.”

 

Her whole body sagged with relief, though her expression only grew more anxious.

 

“Do you think so?” she asked, a deep crease appearing between her eyebrows. “I don’t want Julia to feel I’ve abandoned her.”

 

“I’ll keep her company,” Dan assured her, moving off toward the room she’d mentioned before she could think up any new arguments. He could feel Adrian’s stare boring a hole in his back, but honestly, maybe some Alpha bonding time would do the both of them good right now. At the very least, he doubted Adrian would be interested in keeping the laboring Beta company. He’d only recently progressed to calling Julia by her actual name rather than simply “her.”

 

Dan found the Beta in the midst of having an examination from one of the nurses. Unlike when he’d given birth, Julia’s team consisted mainly of doctors and nurses because her pregnancy and labor were considered higher-risk and required far more monitoring.

 

“May I help you, Sir?” another nurse asked as Dan stepped inside the room, but before he could respond, Julia was waving him over with a wan smile.

 

“Don’t worry. That’s one of my sons-in-law,” she said. Her voice was thin and worn like an old towel that had been wrung out a few too many times. “Dan, thank you so much for coming.”

 

He returned her smile and made his way over to her side, taking hold of the slender hand she held out toward him. It felt too cold, and her pale forehead was beaded with sweat despite the cold November day. He cast a nervous glance at the nurse performing the examination at the other end of the bed, but their face looked merely calm and focused. There was probably nothing to worry about. Julia was probably just tired.

 

“Of course,” he said, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Mum looked like she could use a break, so I thought I’d come down and see how you’re doing.”

 

“They’ve just told me I’m at five centimeters,” she told him in a voice that said she wished it were ten.

 

“Not much longer then,” he tried to encourage her. Everything about this felt so different from his own labor, which he could still remember quite vividly. She seemed to be struggling a lot more than he had, though he supposed that was to be expected. He tried to remind himself that the medical staff here were well-trained and competent. Everything was under control.

 

“That’s right,” the nurse said, finishing up and then walking over to a sink to wash their hands. “You’re making good progress, so I’m sure we’ll be seeing your little one before too much longer.”

 

“I really hope so,” Julia said, her voice soft and fervent.

 

Dan ended up staying with her for over an hour, during which time her contractions were coming roughly every six minutes. He helped her walk around, held her steady as she balanced on a birthing ball, or just talked to her to keep her mind off the pain and anxiety she was so clearly feeling. He’d come to know her a little better over the months since they’d first met. He wouldn’t exactly call them friends, but the two of them were on pleasant terms, and she seemed to be enjoying his company. He wondered whether there was anyone from her own family who might show up at some point. She’d told him before that she was an only child, and his Alpha Mum had let him know that Julia’s parents had both already passed away. Maybe it was good for her, he thought as he massaged her back the same way Phil had done for him during his own labor, that she’d found her way into their family. She must have been very lonely before.

 

Eventually, his Alpha Mum appeared again, her face alight with concern, and Dan saw himself quietly out.

 

He found Adrian slouched in one of the waiting area chairs, phone in hand. He wasn’t scowling quite as much as he usually did after spending time with their Alpha Mum. Dan figured that was probably progress.

 

“Hey,” he said as he tossed himself into the seat beside his brother.

 

“Hey,” Adrian said without looking up from his phone. “Any news?”

 

“Nothing big,” Dan shrugged, pulling out his own mobile. “It’s probably going to be a few more hours yet.”

 

Adrian nodded, and the two of them fell silent again. Dan found that his fingers had pulled up Phil’s profile in his contacts. This was officially the longest he’d been separated from both Phil and Laurie since the birth, and he officially hated it. He pushed the green dial button.

 

“Oh, it’s your Omega dad,” he heard Phil say when he picked up after only two rings. “Say hello.”

 

There was distant babbling on the other end, and Dan’s face cracked into a smile.

 

“Hello, Laurie,” he said. “I miss you so much.”

 

“They say they miss you too. Their bottle is fine but definitely not as good as the real deal,” Phil replied.

 

Dan snorted a laugh.

 

“Oh, is that all I am to you, Laurie? Just the food supply, huh?”

 

“Among other things,” Phil confirmed in a cheeky tone. “How are things there?”

 

His smile quickly turned into a sigh.

 

“Julia seems tired, but the nurse said that her labor is progressing well. I think it’s going to be a while longer.”

 

“That sucks,” Phil said, not quite managing to hide the disappointment in his tone. It had to be difficult for him too, being separated from Dan for the first time in so long. After a moment he added, “You remembered to take the pump, though, right?”

 

“Yep,” Dan grimaced. His breasts were already beginning to ache with the milk Willow would normally have been drinking right about now. “I’ll worry about that in a minute. Just…talk to me for a bit. I miss you too, you know.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

So Phil told him all about how Oscar had babbled something that he swore could have been “duck,” except he was also pretty sure Oscar hadn’t yet encountered any ducks in their short time on earth. And when he finished that story, he told Dan about how the intrepid baby had had to be fished out from behind the TV stand yet again. Luckily, the family had already thoroughly baby-proofed the area, so the worst thing that happened was that they got a little dusty.

 

By then, Dan’s boobs felt rather like they were about to explode, so he bid the Beta a reluctant good-bye.

 

“Call me again when you put them down for their nap?” he asked, knowing he sounded whiny and not caring.

 

“You got it,” Phil said at once.

 

He smiled into the phone, despite the growing discomfort in his chest.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

**

 

According to the hospital records, Baby Omega Howell was born at 17:23 that afternoon, weighing 8 lb. 13 oz. and measuring 18 inches long. They were a little blue at first but gained color quickly and overall were deemed very healthy, an assessment that they backed up by greeting the world with an earsplitting wail that echoed up and down the maternity ward.

 

Julia, on the other hand, suffered multiple tears and a rather serious hemorrhage. The three of them, Dan, Adrian, and their Alpha Mum, spent a long half an hour waiting outside the delivery suite while the doctors worked to stabilize her. But finally one of the nurses came out to let them know the worst was past and she was expected to be fine. Dan’s Alpha Mum asked in the smallest voice he thought he’d ever heard from her whether she was permitted to go in, and when the nurse told her she could, she disappeared inside the room at once. Her concern was touching to see, but it also made Dan sad. He wondered when the last time she’d ever cared about his Omega mum that much had been.

 

Dan and Adrian waited in the corridor, worn out yet relieved that everything seemed to be okay now. After a minute or so, they heard the baby’s wail again, and almost as one, they turned to share a grin.

 

“Well,” Dan said, smiling into his brother’s tired eyes. “How does it feel to be a big brother?”

 

The Alpha seemed to consider the question for a moment.

 

“Kind of weird,” he said, “but I don’t think it’s so different from being an uncle.” He shrugged. “Ask me again after I’ve actually had a chance to meet them.”

 

That happened about forty-five minutes later when Julia had been moved out to a bed on the ward and her new baby settled into a bassinet beside her. They were so tiny and mottled red and pink all over, and Dan immediately thought of Willow right after they’d been born. He’d almost forgot that they’d once been that small and ugly too.

 

“Adrian, why don’t you take first turn holding them,” Dan suggested as they stood at the side of the bassinet looking down at the tiny bundle inside. Their Mum was seated in a chair at Julia’s bedside, holding tight to one of the Beta’s limp hands. “Don’t worry, Julia. He’s had lots of practice with Willow. I promise he won’t drop them.”

 

His brother made a disgusted sound, but the expression on his face was eager as he reached down and took his newborn sibling in his arms. They squirmed a bit and squinted up at him. Dan could see that their eyes were brown, like Dan’s and Adrian’s and their Alpha Mum’s.

 

“Well, aren’t you a precious little thing,” his brother cooed in a very soft voice. “Wow, they barely weigh anything. I’d forgotten how tiny newborns are.”

 

“Remind me again of the names you’ve settled on,” Dan murmured toward his Mum, his eyes still locked on Adrian and the baby. Not unlike him and Phil, his Alpha Mum and Julia had gone through a pretty extensive list of names before finally narrowing it down to two.

 

“Ralph and Emily,” his Mum replied. He glanced in her direction and caught the slight smile on Julia’s face. The Beta looked far too pale—a side effect of her hemorrhage, no doubt—but she was awake and seemed aware of her surroundings. Those were both good signs.

 

Dan kind of hoped for his sibling’s sake that they ended up being an Emily. He’d never known a person named Ralph that he’d been able to take seriously.

 

He ended up having to pry the newborn from his brother’s arms, so reluctant was the Alpha to let his new little sibling go. It made Dan want to laugh (though he held the sound in for the sake of those sleeping nearby). He couldn’t help remembering how terrified Adrian had been of holding Laurie back when they were first born. It was wonderful to see just how far he’d come.

 

When he finally held Emily in his arms for the first time, he was also shocked by just how light they were. Had Laurie really been this tiny only seven months ago? It hardly seemed possible. They were so plump and solid now.

 

“Nice to meet you, Emily,” Dan told his youngest sibling, though they had fallen fast asleep while Adrian had held them. “Welcome to the family.”

 

Emily just kept on sleeping, nestled safe in their eldest brother’s arms, but Dan didn’t mind. There would be time later to get to know one another better.

 

**

 

It was past 9:00 PM when Dan and Adrian finally made it home again. As incredible as it had been to be there for Emily’s birth and to get to hold them in his arms when they were barely a couple of hours old, he’d never been more glad to see his own home again.

 

He’d made it just in time to give Oscar their bedtime feed. The way they practically leapt from their Beta dad’s arms and into his made him laugh out loud, even as a warm wave of happiness washed through his chest. God he’d never loved anyone the way he loved the little person wiggling in his arms right now. Knowing they felt the same way about him just made it all that much better.

 

“Everyone doing well?” his Omega mum asked from the sofa as Phil bent to peck his cheek in greeting.

 

“Julia gave us a bit of scare, but she and Emily both seem to be doing fine now.”

 

“Emily, is it?” she asked, turning to regard him with a raised eyebrow.

 

“That or Ralph,” he muttered, bending down to nuzzle the tops of Willow’s downy curls. “But Emily is an infinitely better name.”

 

“Hmm,” was the only reply she gave.

 

“I happen to think Ralph is a great name,” Adrian piped up then. He’d slipped in almost silently behind Dan, but now he came over and bent to plant a kiss on Willow’s fat cheek, causing them to giggle and twist away. “A good, strong name.”

 

“If you say so,” Dan said, shrugging and rolling his eyes, but when he looked toward his brother, they locked eyes for a moment and shared a quick, small smile. Only time would tell whether either of them could ever fully forgive their Alpha Mum for what she’d done to their family, but today had been a start. It had been a very good start.

 

**

 

He and Phil took their time with Laurie’s bedtime routine that evening, savoring the feeling of being all together again. After Laurie had been fed and winded, their dads gave them a warm, lavender-scented bath, and then they enjoyed a bedtime story from their Beta dad. They fell fast asleep before Phil had even reached the end of an already a very short book. He must have kept them very busy today, probably to distract them from how long their Omega dad had been away.

 

Phil settled the baby in their cot beside the bed and then clambered up to lie down beside Dan where he had already collapsed in exhaustion.

 

It felt like it had been ages since the two of them were last alone together, though Dan knew it had really only been half a day. Still, they hadn’t been apart for so long since Phil had gone to that wedding back in December. 

 

For a while, the two of them just lay there face to face, drinking the sight of one another in.

 

“Tell me about it,” Phil finally murmured, reaching out an arm to wrap it around the Omega’s back.

 

Dan drew in a deep breath and let it out again slowly, imagining all the tension, worry, and weariness of the day seeping out along with it.

 

“It was hard,” he said, “in more ways than one. I was so worried that Julia was going to… But she made it through okay. We all did.” He stopped and thought about it for a moment. “I think we made it through better than okay, really.”

 

A slow smile spread across the Beta’s face.

 

“Better than okay?”

 

Dan returned his smile and scooted closer, reaching a hand up to pull Phil’s arm more tightly around him.

 

“It feels like maybe, after today, things have finally begun to settle back into their rightful place,” he murmured, slipping a hand of his own around Phil’s back, drawing himself even closer. “Everything’s been so up and down and sideways and every which way for so long now… Ever since I first discovered I was pregnant, all the way back to last September.” 

 

He sighed and then wiggled over so that he was in just the right place to lay his head against the Beta’s chest. 

 

“But my Alpha Mum and Adrian actually had a talk today, a real talk while I was back in the delivery room with Julia. Adrian told me that my Mum actually apologized. That’s huge for her, really huge, and you know what? He didn’t scream at her or blow her off. He actually listened. And Phil, when he was holding Emily, the way my Alpha Mum looked at him… I really think everything is going to be okay. Finally.”

 

There were tears in his eyes and clogging up his throat. He felt Phil’s arm squeeze tighter around him, supporting him, keeping him close.

 

“Everything is definitely going to be okay,” came Phil’s soft response, and Dan could feel it rumbling inside the Beta’s chest where his ear lay against it. “Better than okay,” Phil corrected himself after a moment.

 

Dan’s lips curled themselves up into smile, and he snuggled even more closely into Phil’s body.

 

“Yeah,” he agreed, his words become a sleepy slur. “Everything’s going to be brilliant."


	27. Epilogue: Steady On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The way forward

They’d first begun discussing it a few days after Emily’s birth. Dan remembered it very clearly. It was the Friday after that long day up at the hospital, and Adrian hadn’t had any classes. To Dan’s utter shock, his younger brother had reached out to their Alpha Mum to ask if he could come over and spend the day with Julia and the new baby as Alpha Howell’s paternity leave wouldn’t be starting until the following Monday. When Adrian had first told Dan of his plan, the news had left him literally speechless.

 

But that Friday, Adrian had come home just before dinner time and hadn’t seemed able to stop talking about the day he’d spent with his new Omega sibling. They were so cute, he’d said, but so much fussier than Laurie had been at that age. And he couldn’t believe how much they slept! He’d forgot that Laurie had ever slept that much.

 

That night, after they’d all gone to bed, he’d mentioned to Phil that he thought having a younger sibling was turning out to be very good for Adrian.

 

They’d already had the lights out, and they’d been lying side by side in the dark, talking over their day. Phil had fallen silent for a while after Dan’s comment, and Dan had wondered at first whether he’d drifted off to sleep.

 

“It might be good for Oscar too,” Phil’s voice had risen suddenly into the darkness.

 

Then it had been Dan’s turn to lie there in silence.

 

“Are you saying…you think we should have a second child?” he’d had finally asked, unsure of how he felt about the idea.

 

“Neither of us is an only child,” Phil had gone on. “I don’t want Oscar to be lonely, and I bet they’d like having someone to play with.”

 

“Another baby, huh,” Dan had said because he hadn’t know how else to respond to that. It wasn’t that he was completely opposed to the idea. He just…hadn’t considered it before.

 

“Just think about it,” Phil had murmured, rolling over and dropping a kiss on his cheek. “Night.”

 

“Good night.”

 

Dan had thought about it. He’d definitely thought about it.

 

He’d thought about it that night, lying awake long after Phil had drifted off. He’d thought about it over the next few weeks as he watched Adrian make a habit of visiting Wokingham every Friday and as he came home each time overflowing with excitement about how much Ralph had grown.

 

He’d thought about it a couple months later when, just after the turn of the new year, he’d helped his little brother pack up his things and move with their Omega mum to her new flat. He’d thought about it when he’d come home to a house strangely empty, with only Phil and Willow waiting there to greet him.

 

The next day, he’d called Phil into the living room after they’d put Willow down for their afternoon nap upstairs.

 

“Let’s have another baby,” he’d said once they’d both settled on the sofa. He’d watched with held breath for the Beta’s reaction. By then, it had been nearly three months since that conversation in the dark of their bedroom, and there hadn’t been another word from Phil about the topic.

 

Nevertheless, Phil hadn’t disappointed him. There’d been an excited shout that was quickly shushed by reminders of the baby asleep upstairs. Then there’d been hugs and kisses and tears followed by giddy, rushed sex on the sofa.

 

When they’d both pulled their clothes back on and caught their breath again, there had been a serious discussion about their plans for the next few years and where a new baby might fit into all of that.

 

“We have an entire world tour to get through this year,” Dan had pointed out. It was an idea they’d begun toying with last summer and then seriously put into action at the beginning of the fall. Only recently had the logistics of it really come together, but if everything worked out right, four months down the road would see them setting out on their second worldwide tour.

 

“Yeah,” Phil had nodded, “Even if you did manage to get through the end of TATINOF pregnant, it wasn’t exactly ideal.”

 

Dan’s answer to that had been an incredulous snort.

 

“Not exactly ideal,” he’d repeated. “That’s one way to put it.”

 

Phil had chuckled.

 

“So, after the tour?”

 

Dan’s expression had turned completely solemn then, and he’d lifted his eyes to meet Phil’s. He had been pleased to see that the expression in them matched the seriousness he felt inside. He’d drawn in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

 

“After the tour,” he’d agreed.

 

**

 

The tour had been an immense success, though it hadn’t come without its sacrifices. On the U.K. and U.S. legs, they’d been able to take Laurie with them as they traveled across the country. Tour bus living with a 16-month-old had been a challenge all its own, but they’d stayed in hotels as often as they could, and the au pair they’d hired to travel with them did an amazing job seeing to Laurie’s needs when they were busy with the show.

 

What was much harder were the legs of the tour when they couldn’t bring Oscar along. Traveling cross-country with a toddler was one thing, but jetting from country to country or continent to continent with Oscar was definitely not on. For nearly three weeks in June and then another month and a half in August and September, they’d had to leave Oscar behind in the U.K. For the stint in June, they’d left them with Phil’s parents, but for the longer one, they’d asked Dan’s Omega mum and Adrian to look after their little one. Through frequent visits, the two of them had stayed close to Oscar, and there was no one else, other than their own parents, that the tiny Alpha felt more comfortable with.

 

It had been really hard to be separated from his baby for so long. Dan had cried a few times, after a show when the emotions were running high. He’d questioned whether he was a terrible parent for being away from his child at such an important time in their life. But he and Phil had Skyped with them almost every day they were apart, and each time they’d seemed happy and well-adjusted. Phil kept assuring him that they knew their dads hadn’t abandoned them, and Dan had managed to be content with that.

 

But finally, late September had rolled around, and they’d performed the very last show of their second tour to a sold out, screaming crowd in Mexico City. Standing on that stage, feeling the energy and excitement of the crowd pouring through him had been an indescribable feeling. It had reminded him why this the tour had been worth all the hard work and heartache.

 

Still, the look on Willow’s face when he and Phil picked them up from his Omega mum’s flat a couple of days later blew away every single high he’d felt on tour. Dan was the first to walk through the door, and when the toddler caught sight of him, they practically screamed “Dada!” and came tearing toward him with all the speed their 18-month-old legs could muster.

 

He swung them up in his arms, exclaiming about how big and fast they’d grown while he was gone and peppering their rosy cheeks with happy kisses. They babbled to him for several seconds, and he definitely caught the words “Gan” — their best approximation at “Grandmum” for now — and “Ajen,” their attempt at their Alpha Uncle’s name. Then their eyes found Phil coming through the doorway behind him, and they practically threw themselves out of his arms and toward their Beta dad.

 

“Oh, there’s my beautiful little baby,” Phil cried, swinging them up just as Dan had. “Did you miss me? Look at how big you’ve got! You’re not even a baby anymore!”

 

And they laughed and babbled and chatted to their Beta dad as well, and Dan ignored the fact that he was crying again. Adrian would probably tease him for it later, but it didn’t matter. He was just so happy to have his baby back.

 

 

**

 

They took a couple of weeks to settle back into life in their house. It had been a full five months since they’d lived here properly, and he, Phil, and Laurie all needed time to get back into a normal routine and really feel at home.

 

By mid-October, though, everything had begun to feel calm and normal again. Laurie had been sleeping separately from their dads since March, when they’d turned one, and it hadn’t taken them long to settle into sleeping through the night in the nursery once more. That was a good thing as it made it much easier for their dads to start sleeping off the exhaustion of five months on the road.

 

On the morning of October 21st, Dan woke feeling shivery yet strangely warm. The feeling was distantly familiar, but it took him several long minutes to place. When he finally did, an excited thrill pulsed through the core of him.

 

The first thing he did after waking fully was to text his Omega mum. They’d already worked out the details with her. This would be the first time Dan was going into a full heat since he was a teenager, and none of them knew exactly how it might affect him. It was definitely better for all their sakes’ not to have Oscar around for that.

 

_i think today’s the day_ , he typed out to his mum, _are you ready to take oscar?_

 

_oh that’s so exciting!_ came back her immediate reply, followed shortly by, _of course. bring them right over!_

 

They still had hours yet before his heat would be in full swing, so for a few minutes longer he would let Phil sleep. Setting his phone aside, he slid out of bed and tiptoed to the room next door, where he found Oscar already sitting up in their cot, babbling to themselves and playing some game with their teddy. They looked up when Dan came in and immediately raised their arms above their head.

 

“Me up!” they demanded.

 

“You want me to pick you up?” Dan whispered back, hoping that their shrill voice hadn’t disturbed their sleeping Beta dad next door. 

 

“Up!” they repeated, their pale golden eyebrows drawing together in a stern expression.

 

“All right, all right,” he laughed, picking his way over and lifting them out of their cot. They nestled down into his arms at once, still babbling away with only the occasional sensible word thrown in, but Dan listened carefully and inserted what he hoped were appropriate comments at regular intervals. He carried them over to the rocking chair in the corner near the window and sat down with them on his lap.

 

That’s where Phil found the two of them a short while later. He appeared in the doorway, hair mussed and glasses slightly askew, but he smiled when Dan looked up and met his eyes.

 

“I’ve just been telling Willow here that they get to go see their Grandmum today,” Dan said, raising his eyebrows and tilting his head a bit to the side. It took the bleary-eyed Beta a minute to catch on, but when he did, all of his sleepiness seemed to evaporate into thin air.

 

“You mean you’re…”

 

Dan nodded.

 

A huge grin overtook Phil’s face, only to be replaced a moment later by a concerned frown.

 

“I guess we’d better get moving then.”

 

Dan turned to look down into Willow’s eyes, which were wide and bright and brimming with excitement. He felt a little pang that he was going to be abandoning them again so soon, but at least this time it would only be for a few days.

 

“Nah,” Dan replied, meeting Phil’s eyes again. “We can take our time.”

 

It eased Dan’s guilt a bit to see how enthusiastically Laurie tore off into their grandmother’s flat the minute she opened the door. It was a Sunday and early yet, so Laurie’s heedless progress was quickly ended when a sleepy-looking Adrian bent and swept them off their feet, lifting them up high to loud shrieks of laughter and delight.

 

Dan’s mum, who still had her hand on the doorknob, took one whiff of Dan and then shook her head.

 

“Better get him back home right away,” she tossed toward Phil, “and might I suggest a taxi?”

 

Phil grimaced, but Dan just nodded in agreement. He’d begun to feel slightly dizzy on the tube ride over, and despite the crisp autumn air outside, there were fat droplets of sweat rolling down his back inside his shirt. He’d gone off his suppressants the minute they were home from tour, and though it was the first time he’d gone off them in nearly a decade, his body seemed to have picked up right where it had left off all those years ago.

 

He and Phil stayed only long enough for a quick round of greetings and hugs, and then while Adrian had Willow distracted, they slipped out again and summoned an Uber, making sure to select the “Beta driver” option. Most Alphas would probably be polite enough to ignore the faint scent of an Omega in the early stages of heat, but Dan figured better safe than sorry.

 

By the time they got home, Dan was sticky and uncomfortable but still not far enough along that he felt the need to haul Phil straight into the sack. The Beta suggested a refreshing shower instead, so Dan spent a good half hour standing under a lukewarm stream until his body calmed down again.

 

When he finally got out, he found Phil fast asleep in their bed. It was barely gone 9:00 in the morning, and they had a long few days ahead of them, so Dan decided to crawl back under the covers beside his mate and get some rest while he still could.

 

**

 

The first time they’d discussed the logistics of it, they’d both admitted to feeling nervous about going through with it.

 

With Oscar, it had been a fluke. Thanks to his poor memory and resulting inconsistent dosage of suppressants, he’d managed to get pregnant without going into a full heat. They both knew they weren’t likely to get another such fluke.

 

No, if they were serious about trying for a second child, Dan would need to be in full heat, something the two of them had never tried together before. What was more, Phil had exactly zero experience with heats, other than the mini-heats Dan went through when he was on suppressants, while Dan’s experience with heat sex was limited to those two times with Ellen back when he was still in high school and, even further back, the couple of heats he’d suffered through on his own before he’d started suppressants.

 

“It’ll probably last about three days,” Dan had explained when they’d discussed it, “at least, the two I went through when I was fourteen lasted about that long. The only other heats I’ve had lasted just a few hours because, you know, I was with an Alpha.”

 

They’d been sitting at the dinner table, enjoying a post-meal glass of wine together. It had been one of the first times Dan had let himself drink since he’d first discovered he was pregnant.

 

“That sounds really…taxing,” Phil had said before taking a long gulp of wine.

 

“Yeah.” Dan had made an expression of distaste. Though it had been almost a decade and a half, he could still clearly remember the depths of exhaustion he’d felt after his full heats. “But I don’t think it’s much worse than how tired we were those first few weeks after Laurie was born.”

 

“Mmm,” Phil had hummed, his wince telling Dan that he must be recalling just how deliriously exhausted they’d been back then. “I guess if we got through that, we can get through this too.”

 

Dan had paused, frowning down into the dark red liquid in his glass, before voicing his next thought.

 

“You don’t have to do the whole thing… I mean— I’m not expecting you to, uh, fulfill all my needs during my heat. I have toys and whatever, so I can take care of myself.”

 

Phil’s brow had wrinkled, and he’d set his glass down before replying.

 

“Would you prefer to take care of it yourself?”

 

Dan had bit his lip, trying to think of how to phrase this without making it sound like he thought Phil was somehow inadequate. That was the furthest thing possible from what he really felt about Phil and their activities in the bedroom.

 

“Well, no, not really. Heat is always easier with a partner, but you’re a Beta, Phil. You’re not built for heat sex like an Omega or Alpha is. For us, our biology takes over and lets our brains kind of turn off so that our bodies can do what they need to. Even if you’re physically capable of it, I’m not sure you would actually _want_ to engage in three straight days of sex. If nothing else, you’d probably find it really boring.”

 

There had been a significant pause while Phil had taken all of that in. Dan had watched his expression closely, anxious for any sign of hurt feelings.

 

“I guess when you put it like that,” he’d finally said, “maybe I wouldn’t want to. I don’t know,” he added, “How about we just try it and see how it goes. I can always take breaks as I need them.”

 

“Okay,” Dan had nodded slowly, “just so long as you don’t feel pressured to keep going just because I want to. I mean, I’m not, like, completely out of my mind during heat, but I definitely have impaired judgment. You’ll need to be rational enough for the both of us.”

 

“Got it,” Phil had said, serious expression belied by a slight twinkle in his eye. “Dan in heat might make poor decisions, but I’ll monitor my own desire to continue participating in our sexy times, just like I always do.”

 

Dan had answered that with an eyeroll, but all in all, he’d been satisfied with the conversation. The truth was, if it had been anyone other than Phil, he wouldn’t even have entertained the idea of sharing his heat again. In fact, he wouldn’t even have entertained the idea of going off his suppressants and letting his heat develop full stop. Even after all these years, the memory of that last time with Ellen still left its mark on the entire idea of going into heat. 

 

And even with Phil as his partner, he worried that he might ultimately lose his nerve at the last minute.

 

 

**

 

Dan woke again suddenly just before noon, his whole body drenched in sweat. It took him several seconds to realize that he was moaning and even longer to realize that he’d woken because Phil was shaking him.

 

“Dan, come on, wake up,” came the Beta’s low, urgent voice.

 

As Dan’s brain rose to full wakefulness, the wave of heat hormones slammed straight into it. He let out a louder moan. His whole body burned, both with physical heat and with a desire so intense it stopped his breath for a second.

 

He still had just enough coherence to recognize that the moment of truth had come. _Here it is_ , he thought, and then he let his mind step back—as much as his demanding physical needs would allow it—and take stock of what he was really feeling. It didn’t take long to figure it out: every single, solitary inch of his being was screaming out that there was a gorgeous, loving, sexy man touching him right now and that he would be an idiot not to take advantage of that fact.

 

His eyes popped open and focused, laser sharp, on Phil’s concerned face hovering above him.

 

“Phil,” he managed to whimper, “I need— I want— Please, oh fuck, _please._ The heat so, and I just need—“

 

If he’d been in his right mind, he might have laughed at the suddenness of the change in Phil’s expression. He snapped straight from furrowed-browed concern to wide-eyed amazement—and then just as quickly into quick-breathed lust.

 

“Oh,” he whispered, the hand on Dan’s shoulder remolding its gesture into a caress. “Is it—? You want me to—?”

 

“Fuck yes _please_ and _hurry_ ,” Dan half-groaned.

 

Dan was barely any help getting their clothes off, but he was already too far gone to care. The main thought in his brain as Phil fumbled his pajama bottoms off and then went for his t-shirt was that none of this was happening fast enough. He almost thought he could smell Phil’s cock, and he certainly couldn’t stop imagining the sight of it plunging deep inside him. When the Beta got to his pants, he had to practically peel them off, they were already so soaked with slick.

 

“Wow,” he heard Phil mutter as the room filled with the scent of Omega slick, warm and almost-sweet, like the scent of baking bread. “You smell…incredible.”

 

Dan didn’t bother responding with words but instead just reached up and ripped Phil’s own t-shirt up to his armpits.

 

“Okay, okay, I’m hurrying,” the Beta laughed. It took way too long for him to finally be naked, but once he was, Dan nearly pounced.

 

The Beta’s cock stood ready and hard between his legs, long and rosy pink with excitement, and Dan didn’t even have to think about it. He was already on his belly between the Beta’s legs, mouth closing over the hot, wet tip, tongue eagerly lapping up the taste of precum.

 

“Holy fucking—“ Phil gasped somewhere nearby, but the rest of his words came out too garbled for Dan’s distracted brain to parse. All he knew was that he had a cock in his mouth, delicious, thick, and throbbing hot, and soon he would have that cock inside his hole, his wet, hungry, pulsing, _aching_ hole—

 

“Shit fuck _Dan_ that’s—“

 

There was a hand clutching at his back, the fingers digging into the flesh exquisitely painful, and another hand reached up and snagged its fingers in his hair. His own hands were exploring his body too, one of them wandering over a sensitive nipple while the other found its way down to his hole and shoved half its fingers inside in one go.

 

The flood of pleasure and relief he felt at the penetration forced a moan from his throat, and he sank his mouth deeper over the glorious cock inside it, moaning even louder at that feeling of overwhelming fullness as it slid all the way to the back of his throat. _God yes_ that was exactly what he needed.

 

The Beta was saying something, his voice almost a shout, but Dan couldn’t figure out what and didn’t entirely care. The voice sounded pleased, and that was enough for him.

 

Phil’s cock choking his throat felt good, but it quickly became clear to him that it was far too little. He pulled off, sitting back on his haunches and staring up into Phil’s face with a feeling of frustration building within his chest. He needed it. He needed _him_. Phil. He needed him to be inside, but he didn’t know how—

 

A desperate whimper escaped his throat, and then he felt a soothing hand brush over his forehead, making him sigh and shiver and whimper again.

 

“Want me to fuck you now, love?” came the Beta’s beautiful voice, soft from between those beautiful pale pink lips.

 

All he could do was nod. Yes, yes, _yes_ that was exactly what he wanted. Thank god Phil had it together enough to understand.

 

“Okay, how do you want to do it? You want to lie on your back or get on top? Or something else?”

 

Dan tried to understand the words the Beta was saying, tried to figure out what it was that he Phil wanted to do. All he could think about was Phil on top of him, Phil’s weight holding him down, pinning him in place, Phil’s gorgeous cock pushing inside, splitting him open—

 

In a sudden moment of inspiration, he reached out and took hold of Phil’s arms and pulled the Beta down as he fell back onto the bed.

 

“You want me on top then?”

 

Dan nodded. Yes, he wanted Phil on top of him, covering him, claiming him.

 

“Fuck me,” he whined, hands greedy as they grasped at Phil’s shoulders. “ _Hurry_.”

 

Waves of burning heat rolled through him, one after the other, threatening to overwhelm him and carry him away, and with a certainty born of deep-seated instinct, he knew that the only thing that would stave them off was the feeling of hard cock plunging deep inside.

 

Phil crouched above him, leaning down to press his lips against Dan’s while one of his hands slipped between the Omega’s thighs, fingers questing gently for his opening. But Dan didn’t have time for gentleness. He reached his own hand down and yanked Phil’s into place.

 

“Fuck, there’s so much slick,” he heard him mutter when he’d pulled away from the kiss, and then there was a small relief as the Beta’s fingers slipped inside, three of them all at once.

 

“Hurry,” Dan urged him again, his hand still clasped around Phil’s wrist tugging at his arm, trying to move it out of the way.

 

“Okay, okay, wow.”

 

He was on the verge of tears as Phil pulled his hand away and then braced himself on his forearms along either side of Dan’s shoulders. He felt the Beta’s hips settling down between his thighs, so he spread them wider, as far open as they would go, and then wrapped his legs around the Beta’s legs and pulled him in closer. Then finally, _finally_ he felt it—Phil’s cock sliding against the sensitive skin of one inner thigh.

 

“Just a second…” The Beta reached down with one hand, grasped himself—Dan felt the drag of the cockhead over his thigh and then down between his buttocks. He raised his hips up off the bed, opening himself even further, offering himself, so fucking _ready_.

 

A moment later, Phil was sliding inside, all the way down to the base in one thrust.

 

“God damn you’re so—“

 

Dan didn’t wait to hear more but instead grasped the Beta’s legs tighter with his own, using the leverage to push his body up off the bed and even further onto that perfect cock.

 

His hole clenched around it, and for the first time since waking, he felt a brief, full measure of relief. _Finally_. But then another wave of heat was pouring through him, and the tears that had threatened earlier spilled over onto his cheeks.

 

“Dan, are you okay?” came the Beta’s whispered question.

 

He nodded his head, eyes squeezed shut on the overwhelming feelings roiling inside him. Jesus, he’d forgot just how _much_ this all was.

 

“I’m okay, yeah, please just—“ he managed to gasp.

 

“Right,” the Beta muttered, “gotta—“

 

And then Phil was fucking him, a hard, fast in and out, his hips snapping against Dan’s arse, sharp hipbones digging mercilessly into the soft flesh of Dan’s thighs. But he hardly even noticed. All his brain could think about was that feeling of having Phil _inside_ , hot and rock-hard, filling him deep, loosening his already-loose hole even further.

 

That’s when his brain was finally able to recall what they were here for.

 

“Want your cum inside me,” Dan breathed out. “Cum inside me, Phil. I want you to fill me, want your baby inside me.”

 

He heard the Beta’s groan, felt the pace of his thrusting pick up.

 

“Gonna fill you up so good.” The words were barely intelligible, but Dan’s body felt them, felt how good Phil was already filling him, his Phil, his Beta, his _mate_.

 

Without warning, Dan started coming, a spurt of his own hot cum spilling uselessly out onto his abdomen as his body jerked and his hole spasmed around the cock pounding into him.

 

“Oh _fuck_ ,” he called out, and his cry was answered by one of Phil’s own.

 

Then there was hot liquid spilling out inside him as well, and he opened his eyes to see Phil’s scrunched-up face above him, mouth hanging open as his hips pushed hard against Dan’s body and stilled as his cock pulsed and twitched deep inside Dan’s passage. The Omega tilted his head back and closed his eyes and imagined the Beta’s cum flowing down inside, into his womb, into that secret inner part of him that was only open now, during his heat, waiting to receive the Beta’s seed.

 

A second orgasm rocked through him then, making his body shake and Phil squirm as the Omega’s strong muscles bore down on the Beta’s sensitive, spent cock.

 

“Don’t,” he whispered when he’d come to again and felt Phil beginning to slide himself out. “Stay, please,” he begged. He knew on a logical level that Phil wasn’t an Alpha and didn’t have a knot. In his saner moments, he was actually thankful for that fact. But for now, with his Omega instincts in charge, he was overtaken with worry that if Phil pulled out now, his cum would spill out and Dan wouldn’t get pregnant.

 

“Okay, all right,” the Beta murmured, bending down to press a soothing kiss against the Omega’s feverish forehead.

 

“Just, lie on top of me for a bit,” Dan directed, more coherent for a moment as his body rested and regathered its strength for the next round.

 

Phil obliged, lowering himself slowly until his chest rested on top of Dan’s with his weight partially supported on the forearm curled next to Dan’s shoulder. It wasn’t the most comfortable of positions, but to Dan, just now, it felt perfect. 

 

He drifted off to sleep again, happy and secure with the weight of his mate holding him down and his seed held safely inside by his softening member. _Soon_ , a voice inside head seemed to whisper, and he fell asleep with a smile.

 

**

 

They slept long enough that when they woke, Phil was able to go again, but the second time, Dan’s body didn’t let him rest, gearing up with another wave of intense desire almost as soon as Phil had spilled inside him.

 

“You can go,” Dan groaned, shutting his eyes against the Beta’s flushed, weary face. “Just, hand me that dildo,” and he gestured toward the massive, knotting toy he’d laid out on the bedside table just for this purpose.

 

Phil gave him the toy without argument, but instead of leaving for a shower and a nap as Dan figured he would, he stayed in the bed beside Dan, murmuring filthy things into his ear as the Omega worked himself over with the toy. Finally, after another three dizzying orgasms, Dan passed out again and slept for a much longer time.

 

**

 

He came to sometime on Tuesday afternoon, brain foggy with weariness, body achy but filled with a bone-deep satisfaction.

 

He was pregnant.

 

Of course, there was no way to really know, not so soon after the end of his heat. He was fully aware that from a scientific standpoint, stories about Omegas knowing right away that they were pregnant were nothing but old wives’ tales, and in a strictly medical sense, even if conception had already occurred, he wouldn’t actually be considered pregnant until several days from now when the fertilized egg implanted itself in the lining of his womb. 

 

But he knew. Something deep down inside him just knew. Forty weeks from now, he would be holding his second baby in his arms.

 

The past few days had been a haze of waking for sex or food or a quick shower and then falling into black, dreamless sleep again. And somehow, incredibly, Phil had managed to be there for almost all of it. Each time Dan woke, it was to Phil bringing him a quick meal or helping him over to the bathroom for a wash, or sliding a hand down between his legs to bring him off in a hurried handjob so that he would be able to think more clearly during the main event. Sometimes he’d just lain beside Dan, too tired to move much, while the Omega tried to satisfy his body’s demands with toys. But often, far more often than Dan had expected, he’d been ready and eager to satisfy those demands himself.

 

This time, when Dan rolled over, he found the Beta fast asleep beside him, naked and tangled up in their sweaty sheets in the failing afternoon sunlight.

 

Phil’s mouth was slightly open, jaw gone slack with exhausted sleep. Dan studied that face, so familiar yet somehow still so fascinating. The skin was pale, lightly freckled. The eyebrows were beautifully arched but made of fine, downy hair. A few tendrils of black-dyed hair curled around the edges of the face, and among them here and there a shiny silver strand glistened in the slanted light. The nose was hooked, the cheekbones sharply-defined, the eyelashes short but thick and dark.

 

He wondered if this new baby would look anything like their Beta dad. Oscar did, a little, he thought, especially around the eyes. One corner of his lips rose in a tired smile as he examined Phil’s closed eyes and found traces of Oscar there.

 

It was strange to think that there had ever been a time when Dan thought of Phil as a good friend and nothing more. Then again, maybe he’d just been deluding himself back then. Maybe Phil had always been something more.

 

Too tired to hold onto the thought for any longer, Dan let it slip away and rolled closer to his mate. Every muscle in his body protested the movement, but he ignored the protests and dropped a kiss on that dear cheek.

 

Regardless of who their new baby ended up looking like, he was going to love them with every bit of his heart, just like he loved Laurie. Just like he loved Phil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. <3


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